- There
are legit reasons to have your morning commute jacked up. A multi-car accident
due to poor weather conditions and a slippery road, a bridge collapsing, an
animal wandering onto the highway and getting confused…but probably not some
drug-addled chick going bat-sh*t insane, playing a game of chicken with a
semi-truck and turning said truck into a mobile strip club once it stops to
avoid pancaking her. Such was life this week in Texas, where a woman dancing naked on top of a big rig on Highway 290 at
Huffmeister Road was taken into custody following a bizarre scene in which
traffic was shut down in both directions. Witnesses reported seeing the woman
walking towards the 18-wheeler before it stopped and she began throwing her
clothes into traffic. Deputies were alerted just before 9 a.m. for a
psychiatric call and arrived to find a woman who was a) undressing and b) could
be seen on Houston Transtar cameras dancing on top of the semi-truck. Deputies
are still trying to determine why the woman climbed on the truck, but her
behavior prior to that impromptu strip show was erratic at best. She was involved
in two minor hit and run crashes earlier in the day, once of which took place
along Jones Road and 290 in Jersey Village. However, neither of those instances
left us with aerial footage of a naked, mentally unhinged woman sitting,
dancing and standing at various times on top of an 18-wheeler’s cab. "She
was talking about all sorts of things: Wall Street, the CIA, aliens," said
Harris County Sheriff's Office public information officer Thomas Gilliland. It
sounds like quite a start to the day……..
- Even
when an Olympic host city is ahead of or on schedule, there’s still no escaping
the continual clusterf*ck that is preparing for the Games. Rio de Janeiro will
(probably) be hosting the Games this summer, but has water so polluted that
aquatic sports athletes may emerge having developed actual gills and/or had all
their skin eaten away by bacteria and the velodrome for cycling events is
nowhere close to complete. So let’s take a look ahead and see how things are
going in the prep process for the 2020 Tokyo
Olympics. How is one of the trademark symbols of any Olympics coming along,
let’s say….the Olympic torch, whose lighting signifies the official start of
the Games and whose extinguishing represents the whole show coming to a close. As
it turns out, this supposedly central component of the Olympics had been, let’s
say, a bit overlooked. Plans for the new Olympic stadium in Tokyo are currently
being reviewed over concerns that the installation of the cauldron may violate
fire laws. Never a good sign when the fire marshal is involved before a venue
is even finished, yet organizers are debating setting up a panel to review
where to place the cauldron for the Olympic flame. Olympic minister Toshiaki
Endo will head up the review team and try to come up with an answer within the
next month. The problem appears to stem from the fact that - curiously - a
cauldron was never included in a revised plan by architect Kengo Kuma, who took
over the design of the stadium in December. Thus, a construction plan in which
there are covered by wood materials. Oh, and before all of this, work on the
stadium was already behind schedule when the government abandoned an earlier
design by architect Zaha Hadid because of spiraling costs. Ah, the pride and
pageantry of the Olympics……..
- E.S.
could be an abbreviation for El Salvador….or it could stand for Everybody
Steals. Right now, the two phrases appear to have almost the exact same
meaning. Defending the Central American nation as anything other than corrupt
to the core is becoming increasingly difficult and the task became all but
impossible this week when El Salvador's supreme
court ordered an investigation against former President Tony Saca for alleged
illicit enrichment. That’s especially noteworthy because former President
Mauricio Funes, who succeeded Saca, is also under investigation of illicit
enrichment. Oh, and former President Francisco Flores was awaiting trial for
his alleged diversion of millions of dollars in earthquake aid to his political
party before he died in January of a cerebral hemorrhage. In other words, if
you used to lead El Salvador and you’re still alive, odds are that you’re
facing criminal charges for (allegedly) lining your pockets with dollar bills
that were supposed to go to the needs of your country’s citizens. The court
also ordered that various accounts of Saca be frozen because judges are curious
as to why Saca has not clarified the origins of $5 million of the $6.5 million
in assets he acquired during his time in office. Wait, just because the guy
more than quadrupled his bank account while in office and in possession of
various powers and influence that would allow him to commit all sorts of crimes
in the name of a more luxurious lifestyle once he was out of power is
absolutely no reason to suspect him of a crime. However, the fact that he used
to preside over El Salvador provides pretty much all of the reasons you’d ever
need……..
- This
isn't a case of #toosoon, ass hats who signed an online petition to have rapper
Fetty Wap perform at former First Lady Nancy Reagan’s funeral.
It’s instead a case of #youreatool. Reagan,
wife of former President Ronald Reagan, died over
the weekend at the age of 94 and it’s worth asking why a very current rapper
with whom a 94-year-old would have seemingly no connection would even be wroth
suggesting as a performer at her funeral. According to a statement accompanying
the petition, the New Jersey rapper
should be asked to commemorate “the most famous Trap Queen in American history”
because she was "married to the money and introduced America to the
stove." “Trap Queen” is, of course, one of Fetty Wap’s biggest songs and
since Reagan famously led her husband's controversial ‘Just Say No’ anti-drug
campaign following the introduction of laws that gave harsher sentences for
drug possession, some ass-hatted ghouls in social media land started a petition
they know is nothing more than a tacky joke. “Her infamous 'anti-drug' phrase
encouraged strict laws on drug possession that led to a school-to-prison
pipeline we're still dealing with now,” petition organizers wrote in their
post. They make the point that “Blacks and Latinos went to jail in droves for
possessing drugs” as a result of Reagan’s War On Drugs policy, so it must be
cool to blatantly disrespect her the day after her death by mocking her “incredible
sleight of hand that would make any wannabe Trap Queen hide in shame for her
inability to be as diabolical as Nancy.” Yes, Nancy Reagan has been targetd by
a few rappers over the years WHILE SHE WAS ALIVE, including Killer Mike, but
this is clearly a different scenario. Stay classy, d-bags………
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