Thursday, March 31, 2016

NHL playoff prep, defrauding Detroit schools and Keith Richards v. Rihanna


- Irony, thy place of residence is South Africa. It’s also the place of death for 49 endangered vultures, all of which were electrocuted by power lines over the past weekend, according to a  South African conservation group. According to the Endangered Wildlife Trust, the cape griffons were found at several locations in the Eastern Cape province, near a vulture feeding center when technology/disaster struck. The group noted that the vultures' wide wingspans, heavy bodies and "gregarious natures" make them highly vulnerable to tall man-made structures like power lines and wind turbines that stretch across vast, usually empty landscapes - i.e. pretty much all of South Africa. Spokeswoman Carla van Rooyen tried to tug on the heart strings by claiming that some 200 vultures are killed by electrocutions or collisions each year and went on to cast aspersions on South Africa's national power supplier, Eskom, which she said has restructured towers in areas with high vulture populations but not done enough to address towers built before the 1990s, which remain dangerous to the birds. Vulture conservation groups - which exist because….animal rights kooks - often rip what they view as the slow pace of redesigning these structures. Yes, because in an incredibly impoverished nation with so many problems relating to human beings being treated unfairly or not having their basic survival needs met on a daily basis, the real focus needs to be on spending big dollars to alter power towers to make them less of a threat to some ugly-ass scavenger of a bird. Well played as always, animal rights ass hats……..


- Dammit, Keith Richards actually has a logical, salient point. The man who once snorted his father’s ashes and apparently wishes his children would do the same some day, who has feuded with virtually every member of his band on the way to them becoming the biggest bunch of arena rock sellouts around has taken aim at a very easy target and scored a direct hit on pop music and its produced, artificial stars. Specifically, Richards has criticized modern popular music and the prevalent use of songwriters in pop. He was asked to weigh in on the likes of Rihanna and her ilk working with a team of songwriters to write their hits and Richards locked in on the most obvious point, namely that these so-called stars don’t actually have the intelligence, insight or wisdom to look deep within and come up with their own cogent thoughts to put to verse. "Well, they can't rely on themselves, can they?" Richards asked rhetorically. “We're in the midst of a heavy-duty 'showbiz' period, even stronger than when we killed it last time. The X Factor and all this competition sh*t. It's just for people who want to be famous. Well, if it's fame you wants, good luck. You'd better learn to live with it." Well said, man who has snorted enough cocaine to keep the cartels in business for a few decades. Richards contrasted the ways of pop music with him penning the iconic “(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction” ' in "bed with a guitar" in just one night. And yet it’s infinitely better than the drivel that a cadre of professional writers will come up with for the next Rihanna single………


- There isn't a worse place in America right now to be a public school principal facing federal conspiracy and bribery charges in an alleged scheme to receive kickbacks from a school supplies vendor. There really isn't a good place for it, but in the first major American city to go bankrupt, it’s a downright terrible look to be accused of conspiring with the vendor Allstate Sales to receiver payments -- through Detroit Public Schools (DPS) funding -- in exchange for kickbacks. Those are the charges facing 13 current and former principals accused of submitting fraudulent invoices to DPS for payments to the vendor for supplies that were never received. Oh, and these educational administrative ass hats did all of this in exchange for kickback payments from the vendor, according to federal complaints. U.S. Attorney Barbara McQuade laid out the charges at the end of a two-year investigation that started as a tip from the state who was conducting an audit on the Education Achievement Authority. “This case is a real punch in the gut for those who are trying to do the right thing,” McQuade said. According to McQuare, the vendor was paid $5 million from the district, of which an estimated $2.7 million was fraudulent. Norman Shy, listed as the owner of Allstate Sales, and his company sold and provided school supplies such as auditorium chairs, supplemental teachers materials and raised line paper. Shy also allegedly conspired with Clara Flowers to siphon the money from the district and she worked with at least 13 DPS principals to fraudulently obtain funds from DPS by agreeing with to pay them a total of approximately $908,518 in kickbacks relating to business with DPS worth millions of dollars. Ultimately, bogus invoices were submitted to DPS for payment to Shy for goods that were not delivered and the money (allegedly) made its back to the conspirators, who were busy presiding over failing, dilapidated schools by day and swam in piles of money at night………


- If anyone in the NHL is playoff-ready right now, Chicago Blackhawks defenseman Duncan Keith is that guy. The great news for Keith is that he now has plenty of extra time to get ready for the postseason because he won't be playing any time soon, not after the league gets done suspending his ass for deliberately swinging his stick and blasting Minnesota Wild center Charlie Coyle in the face during the Blackhawks’ 4-1 loss earlier this week. Keith was angry because he was knocked to the ice by Coyle and retaliated by swinging his stick while laying on the ice, connecting and leaving Coyle with blood dripping down the bridge of his nose. For his crime, Keith was assessed a match penalty for intent to injure and is suspended indefinitely. The game had barely begun when all of this went down, with just over 10 minutes elapsed from the clock and it left the Blackhawks without two key defensemen because Brent Seabrook missed the game because of illness. This isn't the first time Keith has had issued with his stick miraculously smashing into the face of a foe; in the 2013 playoffs, he was suspended for swinging his stick and hitting Los Angeles Kings forward Jeff Carter in the face. In behavioral science circles, this is what is often known as a “pattern.” When asked about the impending suspension ever-terse Chicago coach Joel Quenneville was his usual snippy self. "We miss guys all year long. I'm not worrying about hypotheticals," the veteran coach said regarding a possible multiple-game suspension. At least it isn't coming simply due to your guy’s inability to control his temper in a pretty typical hockey situation………

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

NBA D-League rage, Riot Watch! Ivory Coast and stealing honor system syrup


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Ivory Coast has been a dangerous place of late and that probably explains why its  U.N. peacekeeping mission plans to double its troop presence in part of the country's northeast region. Ivory Coast has seen a rash of violence this month, highlighted by clashes between farmers and herders that killed at least 20 people and sent more than 1,000 fleeing into neighboring Burkina Faso. Seeing that unfold, mission spokeswoman Kadidia Ledron said that 400 U.N. troops — up from 200 — will be stationed in the Bounkani region along with reinforcements from Ivory Coast's army. Yes, international peacekeepers and soldiers to stop angry farmers….makes sense. Army chief of staff Gen. Soumaila Bakayoko confirmed that  the number of Ivorian troops would climb from 500 to 700 in the region. That’s a significant uptick in an area some 370 miles north of Abidjan, the country’s sweet, creamy commercial center, but you have to send the trained men and women with guns to where the rage is and right now, that’s this remote hellscape. According to Yaya Sanou, high commissioner of Burkina Faso's Noumbiel province, local officials recorded 1,312 people fleeing the clashes and given the area’s relatively modest population, that’s a concern. The U.N. isn't known for flexing much muscle when it comes to forcefully keeping the peace anywhere in the world, but it’s nice that the organization is at least making an effort here. If it can't combat irate farmers with scythes, pitchforks and indignation, though, it might be time for Ban-Ki Moon and his crew to take a hard look in the mirror…….


- And that’s why you’re doing to stay in the D-League for a nice, long while, Houston Rockets rookie forward Montrezl Harrell. Harrell, who has played in 38 games for the Rockets and averaged 9.8 minutes per game, has been assigned to the D-League five times this season and it’s the fifth stint that finally sent his season off the rails. He now has five games’ worth of free time to consider his life’s direction thanks to an incident that took place late last week. At the final buzzer, Harrell was shoved by Bakersfield's Derek Cooke Jr. and when referee Jason Goldenberg got between the players, Harrell thanked him for his cool-headedness by shoving Goldenberg to the ground. Players from both teams and security got involved to make sure Harrell didn’t assault the official any further, but it didn’t take long for the National Basketball Association Referees Association to denounce Harrell’s actions in a statement. “Harrell committed a deliberate assault and battery against Referee Goldenberg. Anything less than a multiple game suspension would constitute a green light for violence against officials,” the organization said in its statement. The NBA agreed and hit Harrell, a second-round pick and therefore playing for a salary that probably doesn’t need thinned out by a five-game ban, with said suspension. Rio Grande has clinched a playoff spot and in his time with the Vipers, Harrell averaged 24.3 points and 9.3 rebounds, so sadly the team could probably use him if he’s allowed back on the court this season………


- You can take 63 gallons of homemade maple syrup out of a Vermont family’s store, but you can't take the decency out of these small-town folks’ souls. The Miller and Son Orchards farm store in Dummerston has been open for decades as part of an eight-generation family farm and like many small-town, rural businesses, it offers merchandise using the honor system. That makes the door is left unlocked and patrons leave money for eggs, meat, apples, and syrup. Sadly, not everyone understands the honor component of the honor system and that’s why, some time between Sunday night and Monday morning, an unknown scumbag stole more than 63 gallons of maple syrup from the farm stand. That’s the second time such a crime has been perpetrated, but owner Read Miller said the theft will not change the family farm's honor system tradition. He took the same stance in 2005, when a Putney man was convicted stealing about 75 gallons, using his own labels and reselling it. A total of 138 gallons of thieved syrupy goodness may not be enough to convince the family to put a lock on its doors or keep someone around whenever the stand is open, but Miller said he does plan to install some security cameras to prevent another theft from occurring. Anyone who has ever dealt with tough, resilient and inherently decent country folk isn't the least bit surprised by the Miller family’s response to this mess and here’s hoping whoever stole the syrup winds up in an even stickier mess when karma catches up to them……….


- Internet trolls take aim at every public figure they can find the instant that public figure a) gains weight, b) has plastic surgery, c) gets a bad haircut, d) gets arrested or e) does anything else remotely embarrassing. Most of the time, the celebrity’s response is either silence, a lawsuit or a strongly-worded statement from their publicist. Almost never does a famous person fire back as eloquently or poignantly as “Legends of Tomorrow” star and former “Prison Break” leading man Wentworth Miller. Miller, whose “Prison Break” role included plenty of screen time either shirtless or clad in a white wife beater to show off full-body tattoos that were central to the series, recently became the target of a snarky meme posted by the tools at The Lad Bible. The meme compared an image of Miller in the show to a photo taken in 2010 to a shot of him while on “Prison Break,” with the former photo showing him having gained a significant amount of weight with a caption that read: "When you break out of prison and find out about McDonald's monopoly.” It was a seemingly clever, albeit lowbrow take on calling a famous person fat … until Miller responded.  "Today I found myself the subject of an Internet meme. Not for the first time. This one, however, stands out from the rest," Miller wrote a Facebook post. "In 2010, semi-retired from acting, I was keeping a low-profile for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I was suicidal. This is a subject I've since written about, spoken about, shared about. But at the time I suffered in silence.” He explained that he has struggled with depression since childhood and during the period when the photo was taken, he was depressed and using food to cope. “In 2010, at the lowest point in my adult life, I was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction. And I turned to food…There were stretches when the highlight of my week was a favorite meal and a new episode of Top Chef. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be. And I put on weight.” When hit with that rebuttal, The Lad Bible’s crew of ass hats apologized, after which they likely went back to their next mocking meme targeted at someone who could well be in the exact same spot as Miller was………

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Calvin Harris' fourth murder trial, Jon Jones' umpteenth legal battle and "Kingsman 2" is a thing


- This one is almost too absurd to be false. Given the absolute battle that the issue of homosexual rights has become around the world in every remotely civilized country, it’s tough to imagine anyone with access to a television, computer, tablet or smartphone being completely oblivious to the central elements of the subject. Yet that’s the argument being used by a Saudi doctor who was arrested and is facing a considerable amount of heat for flying a rainbow pride flag above his home. How could anyone in a developed nation make such an implausible argument, especially given that homosexuality is illegal under Sharia law in Saudi Arabia and people involved in same-sex relationships have been punished through execution, chemical castration and imprisonment? The man insisted he had no idea about what the flag meant and only purchased the flag online after one of his children found the colors “pretty.” He was adamant that said he didn’t know it represented LGBT pride, perhaps thinking of it as the flying fabric equivalent of a bag of skittles. This resident of Jeddah was actually bailed out after an investigation from the Saudi religious police and agreed to remove the flag. It was a wise move given that he seems to be total oblivious and it will also clear the way for him to proudly and boldly display his next purchase, that bitchin’ red flag with the blue crossbars and white stars he will insist that he has no idea represents the Confederacy in American Civil War times. There are clueless fools all around us, world, and they’re in bountiful supply………


- Somehow, “Kingsman 2” is a thing. Director Matthew Vaughn is plowing ahead with the sequel to the 2015 original, a blundering, clunky action comedy in which Taron Egerton, Mark Strong, Colin Firth, Michael Caine and Samuel L. Jackson anchoring a convoluted plot in which Jackson played a megalomaniac billionaire hellbent on worldwide genocide. The movie wasn’t that good or that funny, yet it managed to bank more than $400 million at the global box office, becoming a surprise smash for 20th Century Fox. That made “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” an inevitability and at long last, Vaughn has revealed not only the film’s title, but a few plot teasers. In the totally unnecessary next chapter of this franchise, Egerton's Eggsy and Strong's Merlin head to the United States to work with the Statesmen, an American secret spy society whose headquarters are disguised as a whiskey distillery. There, they will partner with the organization’s leader, Ginger, played by Halle Berry, to combat a villain named Poppy, played by Julianne Moore. "You try not to read what people want, but they do want another church sequence," Vaughn said. "I have no reason for another massacre to happen. But I have other sequences you've never seen before." One person who won't be around for the sequel - smart move - is Firth, while the rest of the cast is largely a question mark at this point. As for explaining why this franchise is still a thing….it’s based on a comic book - “The Secret Service” by Dave Gibbons and Mark Millar and anything comic book-related is movie gold at this point……….


- If three juries of people not smart enough to get out of jury duty can't deliver a satisfactory result, then maybe it’s time to try something different. Calvin Harris - not the pop music artist and producer who works largely with auto-tuned leading ladies like Ellie Goulding - is accused of killing his estranged wife in 2001 when she came home late at night to the home they shared with their four young children. He’s been put on trial three times, with the results being mixed, but still unsatisfying to anyone who’s a fan of, you know, actual justice being served in a guilty/not guilty kind of way. Two previous convictions against Harris have been overturned and a third trial last year crashed and burned when it ended in a hung jury. The key stumbling block for prosecutors has been the always-pesky lack of a body in a murder case, as Michele Harris' body has never been found. In spite of that fact, a fourth trial for this accused killer will happen soon and this time, the case will be heard by a judge, not a jury. To kick off the week, a state judge granted the defense’s request for a non-jury trial as proceedings were set to start in a Schoharie County court. This time around, the murder charge will be considered by Judge Richard Mott, who will begin the trial Thursday. The facts of the case haven't changed and Harris is still accused of murdering his wife and disposing of her body, but the burden for deciding whether or not he’s guilty will go from 12 bumbling fools who couldn’t simply pretend the jury duty notice got lost in the mail to one guy who actually gets paid a handsome salary to decide this sort of thing………


- Because his other legal and disciplinary issues weren’t enough, why not add a disputed traffic stop resulting in five citations - including one for drag racing - in downtown Albuquerque, New Mexico for UFC star Jon Jones. Jones, who was pulled over and cited in February for driving without a license, registration or proof of insurance, was already under supervised probation as part of a plea agreement he entered into in September stemming from a felony charge of leaving the scene of a crash in April 2015. Oh, and he was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence after he crashed his Bentley into a telephone pole in Binghamton, New York back in 2012 and tested positive for metabolites of cocaine while training for his bout against Cormier in December 2014, after which he was suspended by the UFC for “disciplinary reasons.” He hasn’t had much of a defense for any of those missteps, but this time he believes he does. Despite being cited for drag racing and four other violations including equipment modifications, issue with a license plate and failure to maintain a traffic lane, the former champion claims he’s innocent. "I was not drag racing nor was I speeding. I did not get a speeding ticket. I was driving within the speed limit of the 35 mph zone," Jones said in a statement. "I feel that police used a technicality to ticket me for drag racing, for simply revving my engine and acknowledging some of my local fans.” He claimed he said regrettable things to the officer, but only after being informed of the drag racing charge. He and his white Corvette will have their chance to clear their collective name in court, but it’s unclear how these new citations might affect Jones' probation or his upcoming bout with  current UFC light heavyweight champion Cormier at UFC 197 on April 23 in Las Vegas………

Monday, March 28, 2016

Google Maps f*cks up big time, Blink-182's new incarnation and how Andy Murray likes his balls


- Much like Tom Brady, Scottish tennis star Andy Murray is very particular about his balls. The world found out what happens when something is amiss with his balls this weekend at the Miami Open, where Murray advanced to the third round even though he was mistakenly given a women's ball while serving on break point in the second set against Denis Istomin. The second-ranked men’s player in the world was having none of being tossed a women’s ball he believed may have come from one of the flower beds around the court. "I saw it just before I was about to serve. It's quite off-putting because I just missed two balls long. I didn't know if that was one of the balls I used in the last couple points,” Murray said. “It was just a women's ball. The women's balls are very different to the men's balls. They're much quicker, smaller, livelier.” When he realized what had happened, Murray engaged in a brief, contentious back and forth with chair umpire Mohamed Lahyani. "It's unacceptable to have one of those balls," Murray said after losing the point. Even though he rallied back for a 6-3, 7-5 victory, the situation clearly stuck with him. The balls men and women use are actually the same size and have equal pressure, but in many events, including Miami, men use extra-duty felt, which slows the overall speed; women, meanwhile, use regular-duty felt. Murray said he knew the difference because the Penn logo was in red; with men's balls, the logo is in black. Lahyani claimed he couldn’t see the logo from his chair, but that did nothing to make Murray feel better………


- Don’t believe the lie, Myanmar. If your country’s overbearing military chief assures you that he will happily cooperate and work with a new civilian government that takes over your Southeast Asian country this week after 54 years of rule by the junta or its proxy, assume that not a single word coming out of his mouth is true. Senior General Min Aung Hlaing tried his best to assure the nation that the armed forces will work to bring about prosperity for the nation when he spoke during the annual Armed Forces Day parade in the capital of Naypyitaw, but a thundering public address to a captive audience is hardly the sort of ironclad promise upon which you can hang your hopes and dreams of having your basis human rights respected, protected and not trampled to death under a pair of military-issue combat boots. Myanmar's military has run the country directly or indirectly for five decades and though it theoretically handed power over to a quasi-civilian government in 2011, saying that the military has kept out of the way the past four years is like saying Cam Newton totally low-keys his reaction when scoring a touchdown. Sure, last year's elections propelled Aung San Suu Kyi's National League for Democracy into power and her aide, President-elect Htin Kyaw, will take office Friday, but the power of the military remains clear and massive. Good luck enjoying that promised freedom and lighter touch from the powers that be, Burmese people………


- The makeover is nearly complete. Blink-182 are nearing the release their first single recorded since 'Neighborhoods' came out in 2011 and when it drops, the track will officially draw a line between the Tom DeLonge era and that of new frontman Matt Skiba. Skiba, the lead singer for Alkaline Trio, was added after DeLonge left the pop-punk act in 2015 after a series of increasingly contentious disputes. Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker tabbed Skiba to fill in for a few live performances and that evolved into a deeper commitment that led to the announcement of an album featuring Skiba earlier this year. A single for the album is set to be released next month, coming a few weeks after Barker claimed that the forthcoming album was in the process of being cut down from 26 or 27 tracks. Interestingly, Hoppus is expected to be the lead vocalist on the majority of new material, with Skiba in a backup role. Not only that, but the band have promised that tour dates are in the offing once the album drops. As to the exact date when fans can expect that finished album to hit the market, the band isn’t saying. One of the producers on the project has already hinted at a seismic shift in the band’s direction without DeLonge around and while that would normally be a reason for concern, so has been most of the mainstream pop drivel Blink have cranked out in recent years. Perhaps a change wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world……….


- Really, Google Maps? Of all the mapping apps on the market, you’re supposed to suck the least. Apple Maps routinely sends people to the middle of the desert when they’re seeking the city center or directs them to the depths of the ocean when all they’re asking for is a nice Mexican restaurant, while no one has used MapQuest or Yahoo Maps in ages, but Google Maps is typically a reliable option for navigation. That reputation took a serious hit with last week’s tale of what used to be a duplex in Rowlett, Texas where Lindsay Diaz and Allen Cutter used to live. The house was damaged by a tornado late last year, but the couple continued to live there until last week, when a demolition crew destroyed the building by mistake after Google Maps provided wrong directions. Diaz was left with nothing but rubble because the work crew, which was supposed to demolish a duplex on Cousteau Drive in Rowlett, instead was sent a block away to Diaz's duplex on Calypso Drive. "[Google's] mistake caused me to lose my home," Diaz said. Google owned the mistake, admitting its mapping app did provide the wrong location, but the demolition company, Billy L. Nabors Demolition, refused to comment on the issue. Ironically, Google Maps now points to Diaz's home accurately, something Apple Maps, Yahoo Maps and MapQuest all did previously. Somehow, Google Maps’ combination of satellite, aerial and street-level images and data to chart the world failed miserably in this case. According to Diaz, the site supervisor confirmed several facts about the demolition site with his crew before work began, including that the house was on a corner lot, damaged by a tornado and had the correct house number - 7601. Unfortunately, there was one key fact left unchecked and while walking to the nearest intersection and glancing up at a street sign could have rectified that problem, that was a bit too much to ask and now, a family is without a place to live………

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Hosting the Olympics is lame, Navy bribery hijinks and Rolling Stones' capitalist conquest of Cuba

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- Hmm, how could a plan this brilliant have backfired so spectacularly? Authorities in southwestern China clearly thought their Cultural Revolution-style public sentencing of eight workers who took to the streets demanding back wages would throw down the gauntlet and deter would-be rabble-rousers seeking fair wages in similar fashion. In a time of a slowing economy and rising worker unrest, sending a clear message is important. So parading three women and five men through streets with their heads bowed and a guard on each arm is a great plan, right? Or not. Instead, the incident has drawn widespread criticism and spurred sympathy for the accused, along with calls for their deadbeat bosses to be publicly humiliated. This whole charade took place in city of Langzhong in Sichuan province and for critics of the government, it highlights he system's inability to protect worker rights against politically connected employers and a regime obsessed with social stability and terrified of stoking the fires of dissent. Many of those critics have decried to indignity of it all and said the trial and punishment degraded workers merely seeking their rights but pardoned those who should have been meted out justice. Unpaid wages are a big problem in China, especially for migrants working on casual terms in the construction industry. Workers are supposed to be paid before they travel home the month before the Lunar New Year holiday, but contractors often stiff them on their wages despite Beijing's routine demands that workers be paid in full and on time. Corruption at the local level disrupts that process and the result is the unrest that played out in Langzhong………




- One of the chief cries of concern in lifting the embargo between the United States and Cuba has been the possibility of a mass infusion of American culture ruining its Cuban counterpart. If pouring in massive amounts of Americana in the name of exploiting a new market for capitalist purposes is inevitable, though, then who better to serve as the soundtrack for that revolution than the Rolling Stones? The Stones have been one of the biggest commercial sellout acts in rock and roll for a long time, evolving from a blues-tinged rock band responsible for classics such as “Salt of the Earth,” “Street Fighting Man” and “Paint It Black” to an arena rock band that soundtracks car commercials with bland garbage barely distinguishable from the mountains of other mainstream rock filling the airwaves these days. It makes total sense that they played a historic gig in Havana, Cuba after rock and pop music had been banned in the country for decades. Cuba’s communist government dropped a blanker ban on music it saw as diverse and subversive until the early 2000s, but the recent changes in various economic matters and the thawing of relations with the U.S. have sparked societal changes and with a visit from President Barack Obama a few days ago, bringing in the Stones made sense. "Time changes everything. So we're very pleased to be here,” frontman Mick Jagger said. “It would have been surprising for this to happen 10 years ago." He and his bandmates performed for a massive crowd, thankfully mixing in some old-school hits so the show wasn’t a total waste………




- The hookers and luxury hotel rooms will do you in every time. U.S. Navy Capt. Daniel Dusek cashed in while he could, but in the end, he’s headed to prison for nearly for years for a conviction of giving classified information to a foreign defense contractor. At least when he’s in a federal prison, he will have gotten to enjoy prostitutes, luxury travel and a sh*t-load of other freebies, including premium alcohol. "Captain Dusek's betrayal is the most distressing because the Navy placed so much trust, power and authority in his hands," said U.S. Attorney Laura Duffy. "This is a fitting sentence for a man who was so valuable that his conspirators labeled him their 'Golden Asset.'" It’s a fun nickname, but it also nets you 46 months in prison as  the highest-ranking official charged in a massive Navy bribery scandal. The irony is that Dusek pleaded guilty to just a single count of conspiracy to commit bribery, but he made that one count count. For his crimes, Dusek must pay $100,000 in a fine and restitution and needless to say, he is no longer deputy director of operations for the Seventh Fleet. Amazingly, despite his duplicitous ways, he later served as executive officer of the USS Essex and commanding officer of the USS Bonhomme Richard. With all of that naval clout, he boosted the bottom line of Glenn Defense Marine Asia (GDMA), which for years provided port services to U.S. Navy ships. Dusek steered those ships to GDMA and yet, the contractor probably won't be paying him any visits behind bars the next four years………




- Despite seeing city after city host the Olympics and run itself into a massive financial hole that creates logistical and infrastructure headaches before, during and even after the Games leave town, municipalities around the globe continue to bid for future Olympics. Some of them even come back for a second try after hosting once and that makes even less sense, even for a small town like Lake Placid, which is almost solely known for being the site of the Winter Games in 1932 and 1980. The good memories from being part of the Miracle on Ice in 1980 clearly still have Lake Placid riding high and therefore, the town is fired up to be part of Quebec City's exploration of a possible bid for the 2026 Winter Olympics. Lake Placid Mayor Craig Randall said Quebec City Mayor Regis Labeaume reached out to ask is his hamlet  to be included in the consideration process. "I was flattered that Mayor Labeaume reached out to Lake Placid and I told him to please keep Lake Placid included in his investigation for possible venue use in an Olympic bid," Randall said in a statement. Labeaume is scheduled to meet with International Olympic Committee officials in Switzerland next month and seems to be playing to the IOC’s suggestion that future Olympic bid cities re-use existing facilities in an effort to minimize cost, i.e. not piss off citizens by asking them to chip off tens of millions of dollars for facilities no one will want or need once the Games end.  Lake Placid has an internationally certified sliding track for bobsled, skeleton and luge, so that’s a plus, but will it be enough to boost the bid past those of several other cities in North America and Europe believed to be considering bidding on the 2026 Games? For the sake of the citizens of Quebec City and Lake Placid, here’s hoping not………

Saturday, March 26, 2016

AC/DC + Fatsel Rose, when police machismo = cop-on-cop violence and Riot Watch! Bangladesh


- Say it ain’t so, AC/DC. There was a time when learning that the screeching, booming pipes of one Axl Rose would be filling in as the voice of the iconic rock band would have been the best news ever, but that was one “Chinese Democracy” and about 125 pounds ago for the man now more commonly known as Fatsel Rose. According to the son of AC/DC guitarist Malcolm Young, the Guns N' Roses frontman will fill in for Brian Johnson as the band's lead singer for the rest of its U.S. tour. The Australian rockers recently rescheduled a handful of live dates after Johnson was advised by doctors to stop touring immediately or risk total hearing loss and rather than allow noise concerns to shut the whole tour down, AC/DC went in search of a capable singer to fill in and after they couldn’t find one of those, they settled on Rose. The group issued a statement on their official website confirming that the remaining dates of their tour will be "made up later in the year, likely with a guest vocalist, but the truth is that Rose is so out of shape and has been so beaten down by his hard-living ways that he can't hit anything close to the notes he used to hit with ease and is more likely to be out of breath and gasping for air on stage than wailing in key and hitting all of the right notes. Ross Young, the son of Malcolm Young - who retired from AC/DC in 2014 due to dementia - confirmed rumors of Rose’s addition to the tour. He posted a link to online reports on Facebook and in comments wrote: "It's true," and "He can and he will." Though he later deleted the posts, it’s fair to say that an AC/DC tour sans Malcolm Young and Brian Johnson isn’t really an AC/DC tour at all………


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Religious rage tends to be the realest of the real and that’s typically true regardless of what faith you’re discussing or where in the world the discord is taking place. Folks get mighty sensitive when the faith upon which they base their entire life is threatened or challenged and nowhere is that clearer right now than Bangladesh, where thousands of Muslims have rallied in the capital city, Dhaka, to rise up and denounce a court petition seeking to remove Islam as the country's official state religion. Some 3,000 Muslims protested outside the national mosque in Dhaka against the petition, which was filed by a group of prominent citizens and will be taken up by the High Court on Sunday. Credit to these bold souls for being willing to file what they had to know would be a wildly unpopular petition in a country where more than 90 percent of the 160 million people are Muslim and should this petition pass, it’s going to be interesting to see how life inside Bangladesh is for these people and their families. Islam has been the state religion since 1988, when it was used as a political pawn by dictator H.M. Ershad, who declared Islam the state religion to win support during a campaign by major political parties to oust him from power. Then in 2011, Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina brought back secularism as a pillar of the constitution, but retained Islam as the state religion. Nothing says you value a religion quite like using it for political currency, although that designation isn't likely to sway the feelings of the thousands of maddened Muslims who made their voices heard in Dhaka this week……….


- It’s depressing how quickly Roger Federer is getting old - at least in terms of the tennis world. The former No. 1 player in the world won't be serving up any aces on the court in the near future and he can thank a 1-2 punch of old man status and poor health for that. First, he withdrew from his opening match at the Miami Open against Juan Martin del Potro with a stomach virus and the very next day, the Swiss star suffered a knee injury preparing a bath for his twin daughters. Yes, dude got injured giving his daughters a bath and while that’s a cute dad moment, it also resulted in the first surgery of his career. "I am very sorry that I have to pull out of the Miami Open with a stomach virus," Federer said in a statement. "I feel bad for the tournament and the fans as I have rarely ever had to withdraw at such short notice. I have not felt great for a few days, and unfortunately it got worse in the last 24 hours. I was really excited to have my comeback in Miami but I am in no condition to play. I tried to warm up this morning, but it was clear that I could not compete." Now, Federer hasn’t played a match since falling to Novak Djokovic in the Australian Open semifinals on Jan. 28 and his return to the court is to be determined. Seeing once-great, classy stars age out of their prime is always discouraging, but at least you want to see them tear, break or strain something trying to return a 140 mph serve or racing to the net to reach a well-placed drop shot and not witness their decline because they pivoted too quickly on slick bathroom tile and wrecked their knee trying to reach the bubble bath on the top shelf of the linen closet. Get well soon, Fed………


- To everyone who believes that cops are testosterone-fueled, God-complex-having ass hats who believe they are above the rest of us….yup. At least that’s true of Stephen Green and Joseph Tyer, a pair of officers with the Atlanta Police Department who are in varying stages of losing their jobs following a fight at a restaurant over which officer would be faster in a foot race. Wow….two young, relatively fit dudes in a profession where machismo is part of the job description allowed their pride and arrogance to get the best of them and commit acts so over the line that it could cost both of them their jobs? Shocker. Tyer has already resigned, while Green is on administrative leave after an incident that occurred around 5 a.m. at the R. Thomas Restaurant on the 1800 block of Peachtree Street in Atlanta. The best part of all of this is that the reason the men were together was for a meeting with the members of the High Intensity Traffic Team so yes, they’re traffic cops and that makes it all the better, as does the name of their traffic team and their willingness to go above and beyond to live up to that name. When Green tried to assert his supposedly superior speed, Tyer allegedly became upset and told Green that he was going to "punch him in the face." In the sort of development that usually leads to someone calling the police to a scene, the dispute carried outside and a physical fight ensued. Other officers remembered what a cop is supposed to do and broke up the fight, but not before Tyer pulled out a gun but did not fire a shot. All in all, a thoroughly impressive night for the police department and one that has to instill great confidence in the police among residents. Then again, at least these fools were being unjustly violent to one another instead of toward the public……..

Friday, March 25, 2016

Metallica + Dewey Decimal System, Romania v. corruption and Alabama governor sex scandals

- The Chicago Bulls have generally been a colossal letdown this season. They have enough talent to rank among the top three or four teams in the Eastern Conference, but the health of their two top players has been suspect for much of the year and that has dragged them down to ninth in the conference and on the outside looking in on the playoff picture. For all those disappointed in what first-year head coach Fred Hoiberg’s team has submitted this season, the Bulls’ star player has a message. He’s called his recent play "terrible" and admitted that his physical ailments aren’t an excuse for his subpar play. Oh, and that star player isn't Derrick Rose. No, he’s All-Star swingman Jimmy Butler, who absorbed a 115-107 clunker to the lowly New York Knicks to fall to the perimeter in the playoff race. "I know this is a team game, but if one of your so-called best players is not doing what he's supposed to do, that's what's going to happen," Butler said. When asked if he was referring to himself, he pulled no punches. "Yeah," he said. "You see the way I've been playing lately. It's saddening. It's piss-poor. It's terrible. My teammates won't say it, my coaches won't say it, but I'm a realist. If I continue to play like this I'm hurting this team." Minor credit for not blaming those struggles on a knee injury Butler sustained Feb. 5 in a loss to the Denver Nuggets, ultimately sitting out until March 14. Even after a strong return to the court, he played one game and then missed the next three games because of swelling in the knee. His 12-for-35 over his last three games has raised new questions about the knee, but Butler said the injury is “not an excuse” and said he doesn’t “know what the f--- it is, but it has nothing to do with the knee.” It’s nice to hear an athlete earning eight figures a year admit as much, even if the admission doesn’t diminish his eight-figure salary by a single dollar……..


- Props to Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley for calling a press conference to refuse to admit what he was apologizing to the world for doing. Bentley is up Sh*t Creek over allegations that he and a top aide had a sexual affair and in what most would consider a damning bit of news, explicit recordings of him became public. Faced with claims that he and HIS MARRIED AIDE, Rebekah Mason, cheated on their respective spouses committed adultery with once another, Bentley elected to get in front of the world…and lie. When questioned about he and his former spokeswoman and policy adviser getting amorous, Bentley did not deny the legitimacy of the recordings but focused on the fact that he claims the recordings are two years old. "I am truly sorry, and I accept full responsibility," said Bentley, a Republican serving in his second term. "Today, I want to apologize to the people of Alabama. I want everyone to know, though, that I have never had a physical affair with Mrs. Mason.” Wait….what? Then why the hell are you apologizing to anyone? It’s like former major leaguer Jason Giambi holding a news conference to apologize for alleged steroid use without actually saying what he was apologizing for. This tool expects the world to believe that this was solely an emotional affair and never got physical. Bentley’s hasty press conference came after his former law enforcement chief, Spencer Collier, held a news conference earlier in the day in which he accused the governor of the affair and inappropriate use of resources. Oh, and to make this even more soap operatic, Bentley fired Collier the previous day. Bentley did some linguistic high-stepping by saying he has “never done anything illegal” as governor and “never asked any member of my staff or any cabinet member to lie.” Unfortunately for him, none of this is as memorable as a portion of the audio recordings in which he told Mason that “when I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts, and I put my hands (unintelligible) and just pull you real close. I love that, too.” Uh oh, governor…….


- Metallica and the Library of Congress…they go together like head banging and the Dewey Decimal System. James Hetfield and his crew belong in a place where quiet is the most important rule and decorum dominates the day, so it’s appropriate that Metallica’s ‘Master of Puppets’ will be the first heavy metal album to be added to America’s National Recording Registry. All jokes aside, it’s pretty damn cool that the legendary metal band will have its most prominent work among those the government selects each year as a group of  25 recordings that deemed “culturally, historically or aesthetically significant" and which are at least a decade old. Most, including the diehard metal heads at the LOC, consider “Master of Puppets” to be Metallica’s master work. It was released in 1986 and drummer Lars Ulrich said the band were “humbled” by the honor. "It shows the group moving away from its thrash metal history and reputation and exploring new ideas," the Library of Congress said in a statement. Ulrich concurred, expressing amusement that an album that went off the metal path Metallica walked most of its career was being so honored. “Who would've ever thought that 'Master of Puppets', a record made by a band hovering way left of the mainstream in 1986, would be granted the honor of being added to the Registry of the Library of Congress?" he said. “’Master of Puppets' is a collection of songs that we consider a defining moment in our formative years and the honor bestowed upon this album is beyond thrilling." Being in the company of artists such as John Coltrane, Merle Haggard and Santana as the honorees for this year also doesn’t suck and while having a disco hack like Gloria Gaynor and here 1978 single ‘I Will Survive’ as part of the group being added to the LOC does cheapen the honor a bit, it’s always nice whe n a bunch of uptight squares can find it in their horn-rimmed-glasses-wearing, pocket-square-rocking souls to give some recognition to a bunch of musical wild men whose career of rocking hard and partying even harder is still going several decades after it began……..


- Why so harsh, Romania’s top court of appeal? You all act as if two high-ranking government officials laundering money, peddling influence and accepting bribes is a big deal and could potentially destroy the public’s little remaining faith in your vastly corrupt political system. This particular Romanian court has taken a hardline stance on corruption, handing a former minister and a former mayor matching prison sentences following their respective conviction for money-laundering, influence-peddling and taking bribes. Former Telecommunications Minister Gabriel Sandu and businessman Dorin Cocos received two-year sentences in the case, while Gheorghe Stefan, the former mayor of Piatra Neamt, received a three-year sentence. Not only are these convicted scumbags headed to jail, but the court ruled that 3.9 million euros ($4.4 million) should be confiscated each from Stefan and Cocos, and 2.19 million euros ($2.45 million) from Sandu. It’s an extremely punitive judgment, but the good news for those who love graft as an international language is that all of the lawyers in the case  said their clients would appeal. Of course, sympathizing with these men means siding with dudes who, according to anti-corruption prosecutors, hatched a scheme under the terms of a 2004 government contract with Microsoft for computers licensed for schools in which they pocketed a 47-percent discount offered by Microsoft. In other words, some 15.7 million euros ($17.6 million) were paid to their companies on the unknowing, unsuspecting backs of Romanian children who simply wanted a chance to use the world’s worst operating system on their school computers………

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Will.I.Am has good news, snake-throwing sushi bar patrons and Ron Rivera is a moron


- So…..Uber has some work to do in building its brand around the world. While the ride service fights various battles with municipalities and taxi unions across the United States, it appears much more violent opposition exists in other corners of the globe. Specifically, the anti-Uber anger is running high in Kenya’s capital of Nairobi, where a terrifying incident took place on the same day the ride-hailing service launched in the country’s second largest city of Mombasa. Police confirmed that four men torched an Uber car after a man hired the  car to take him to the outskirts of the capital and led the driver to a dark alley. Nairobi Police chief Japheth Koome confirmed that the driver told police he saw four men approach the car and managed to escape when they tried to restrain him His car was a total loss, burned to a crisp, but no arrests have been made yet. Uber’s office in South Africa issued a statement in which the company said it is in “open dialogue” with police regarding the incident. This is the second straight month in which an Uber car has been torched in Kenya and to find suspects, look no further than the fact that last month taxi operators asked the government to stop the operations of Uber, which has become popular because of its cheaper fares. All the government did to slow the roll of a company that now operates in nine sub-Saharan African cities, in countries such as South Africa and Nigeria, has been to say it would draft new laws on the regulations of online taxi operators. Taxi operators are clearly not impressed and have decided to handle the matter on their own………


- His team lost the Super Bowl by a wide margin and now, Carolina Panthers coach Ron Rivera is losing again. Rivera, like all NFL coaches, found himself facing questions about football at a time when there’s very little to talk about at the owners’ meetings in Florida. One of the questions Rivera received was about the 39-second, 13-question debacle of a press conference his quarterback gave following Carolina’s 24-10 loss to Denver in the Super Bowl last month. Newton was a petulant, spoiled brat who refused to answer questions and stormed off mid-press conference, delivering an even worse performance than his team had on the field at Levi’s Stadium. Asked about Newton’s effort this week, Rivera tried to have his quarterback’s back by putting together a truly asinine idea that should be insulting to every NFLer who has a shred of professionalism in his being. Rivera went as far as to suggest players from the losing Super Bowl team shouldn't have to do interviews after losing the big game, saying without saying that these guys shouldn’t be expected to have enough professionalism or character to listen to simple questions from media members and deliver more than a terse, one-word answer. Rivera’s best suggestion was that the league shouldn't have players from both teams being interviewed in the same room where they can hear each other as the Panthers and Broncos were. "Personally, I've always felt that in a situation like that there is only one person that needs to talk, and that's the head coach,'' Rivera said. Really? Hey Ronnie, how about this: No one died, no one was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, no one was unfairly deprived of their basic human rights….it’s just a damn football game, so let’s just say the losers answer questions like adults and stop b*tching and whining………


- Sushi restaurants can be weird places. They serve items most people would never consider eating, they charge exorbitant amounts of money for food that isn't even cooked and they offer menu entries that can occasionally be fatal if not prepared properly. Factor in a sushi joint being located in the greater Los Angeles area and…..well, let the weirdness begin. Said weirdness centers on a bizarro patron/odd guy just hanging around who was  arrested on suspicion of making criminal threats after customers of a sushi restaurant say he threw a large python at them. According to employees of the Studio City eatery, the snake chucker had shown the 13-foot-long reptile to children outside of the restaurant - always beware kooks asking to show you their big snake, kids - moments before it was thrown at customers. Before engaging in reptile tossing, the man ate and paid for his $200 meal. Somehow, the man had another, smaller snake in his possession and showed it to customers, who asked him to take it outside. The man left and returned with a larger snake and according to witnesses, he barged in the door screaming obscenities and slammed the snake to the ground. Employees claim they asked the man repeatedly to take the snake away and he refused, instead antagonizing other customers and forcing employees to call both the police and fire department. The snake, perhaps smarter than its owner, tried to slither away but became stuck before animal control officials freed it and took it away.  As for the snake tosser, he was arrested and taken to jail, though thankfully no one was injured in whatever the hell is was that he tried to do…….


- Focus on the positive, world. When Hack Eyed Peas member Will.I.Am claims to have a "hard drive full" of unreleased songs, the obvious worst-case scenario is that said unreleased tunes are either his or from his ear-assaultingly awful band of musical retards fronted by the most lyrically imbecilic artist in existence, Fergie. But no, the music Will.I.Am claims to have comes from some of the biggest pop stars in the world and while many of them are either wildly overrated or just plain suck, they are by and large infinitely better than Will himself. The “singer”/producer says his unheard recordings of are Michael Jackson, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Britney Spears and more, the remnants of when he worked with those artists as an independent producer.  "I got a hard drive full of songs that just sit there and we could go through them,” he said. “There's Nicole Scherzinger folders, there's Britney folders, there's Rihanna folders, Beyoncé folders - just songs. When I work with artists, we record songs and write songs, and to get one song you have to record seven. So those other six are actually really good. Maybe there's two of them that are good, maybe there's one lingering one that just needs some touching up.” According to Will, going through the hard drive turns up some pretty impressive names and proving that he just doesn’t like to discard anything musically, the part-time “The Voice” coach also said he would even consider allowing the show’s aspiring karaoke-ers to record their own versions of the songs to save them going to waste……..

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Asking Margot Robbie why, when Uber gets its ass kicked and mid-major college footbaall shoots for the big time


- Don’t you love it when a mid-major college football program does something to make itself seem like it belongs with the big boys? The Akron Zips took some big steps forward last season, winning their most games (eight) since becoming a Division I program three decades ago, but what went down earlier this week should do just as much to lift their profile as that 8-5 record and win in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. What happened? How about one player accidentally blasting a hole in a teammate, nearly killing said teammate before emergency crews and doctors were able to stabilize him? Enter Andrew Pratt, a wide receiver who participated in Akron's pro day earlier this week, showing up at the apartment of neighbor and Zips offensive tackle Scott Boyett unannounced around 3 a.m. in the morning. Boyett, it seems, is a registered gun owner and when he heard someone moving around in his apartment in the middle of the night, he decided to grab his gun and protect his house. The result was Pratt being shot in the stomach by his teammate, although no charges will be filed because both players involved agreed that the shooting was an accident. Pratt is expected to recover and was rushed to the emergency room at a local hospital by the very man who just shot him. Akron athletic director Larry Williams said the department was looking into the incident and would “wait to learn more from the Akron Police Department about what occurred.” What happened was the sort of recklessness, idiocy and shady behavior that there is so much of at the highest levels of college football, but not nearly enough of at a place like Akron………


- Who’s looking to rewrite history….or at least maintain a firm group on what parts of it are told and how? That would be Poland's governing party, a.k.a. the conservative Law and Justice party, which is intent on shaping the country's future by controlling perceptions of the past. This revisionist outfit’s strategy for telling it like (they want everyone to think) it is by using museums, film, public television and other tools to promote certain episodes in Poland's history, like the anti-communist resistance after World War II. Those are the less-objectionable parts of the plan and they pale in comparison to attempts to suppress discussion and research into painful topics, primarily Polish violence against Jews during the Nazi occupation. The party is feeling pretty good about itself given that in the last year it has wielded more power than any party in post-communist times, hence its efforts to edit history in its favor. President Andrzej Duda is leading the charge on this, labeling it the nation's new "historical policy offensive." Duda said the offensive offensive aims to create a new generation of patriots and "to build up the country's position in the international space." Opponents of the initiative see all of this as historical revisionism that will produce little beyond national self-righteousness and will prevent honestly facing the country's wartime history — an extremely complex story full of both heroism and murder and betrayal by Poles of defenseless Jews. "They want to narrow our view of the past," said Pawel Spiewak, director of the Jewish Historical Institute in Warsaw. "They want to use the state apparatus to force their new view of political history, and this is very dangerous." Well said, P-Dog………


- Why, Margot Robbie, why? You’re über-hot, you’re Australian with a badass accent and by virtue of your amazing looks and smile of gold, you could get most any part in any movie you might want. So why the hell would you volunteer to play one of the biggest train wrecks in the history of organized sports, a woman known for being so admittedly inferior to her chief rival that she resorted to having her goon of a husband and a few of his goon friends consort to jump that rival in a back hallway of an ice rink and whack her on the knee with a lead pipe to put her out of commission? Robbie has performed well in “Suicide Squad,” “The Wolf Of Wall Street” and several other films that have been or will soon be released, yet here she is openly admitting that she wants to star and make a movie about former Olympic skater turned domestic violence participant turned failed celebrity boxer. Robbie has teamed up with screenwriter Steven Rogers to write a script but must now find a script for “I, Tonya,” which will tell the story of the 1990s scandal between Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, who was a much better skater and person than Harding. The movie will likely focus on Harding’s rise from a rough, poverty-stricken childhood in Portland to become one of the top figure skaters in the world, but the reason she’s worth talking about at all isn’t because she was e the first woman to complete the triple axel jump in big competitions and won the 1991 U.S. Figure Skating Championships, but because she conspired with her then-husband Jeff Gillooly to attack and incapacitate Kerrigan during the qualifying rounds at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships in Detroit. Kerrigan still won a place on the Olympic team and won a silver medal, while Harding did what scumbags with no souls should do, flaming out and finishing eighth at the Games……..


- Uber incites a lot of anger from certain people. Typically, though, those people are taxi drivers and their unions, whose business is being slowly usurped by a bunch of day traders and half-stoned college students making a few extra bucks driving around their 1997 Honda Accord in between Starbucks runs and picking up a new lamp from Walmart. Rare is the instance in which a man, perhaps from Madison, Wisconsin, is arrested after he punched an Uber vehicle. The car attacker is Masase Manamba, whom police found causing a scene when Madison police officers responded to Chaser's Bar in the 300 block of West Gorham Street shortly after 11:30 p.m. There was a report of a man who was allegedly upset and pacing back and forth with clenched fists. According to Madison police spokesman Howard Payne, officers took Manamba into custody, "fearing that he may be capable of other things." What he was capable of, allegedly, is punching and damaging an Uber taxi, attempting to strike random bar patrons with what were described as "wild punches," yelling obscenities and pushing a female to the ground. The beatdown on an Uber car is arguably the least offensive of his alleged crimes on the night and stunningly, Payne said alcohol was a factor in Manamba's behavior and "his actions were well outside of what anyone else fathomed was reasonable." Yes, but thousands of taxi drivers around the country are silenly pumping their fists in support even though Manamba was eventually taken to the Dane County Jail on suspicion of disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property……..

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Rich, creepy old white dude v. Serena Williams, Kazakh election hijinks and "Fantastic Four" blame


- It’s almost as if everyone is to blame in the case of disenfranchised spring breakers and the city of Gulf Shores, Alabama. On the one hand, the city going full-on wet blanket by banning alcohol in its many tasty forms from public beaches in Gulf Shores during spring break, it’s almost as if local officials are trying to piss off the Milwaukee’s Best-chugging bros and keg-standing, bikini-clad senoritas who couldn’t score a spot at a top spring break destination and ended up in Alabama instead. On the other hand, maybe if those bros and chicks had planned ahead, not blown all of their money on an extra keg for their last party or splurged on the dollar menu at Taco Bell the last five times they were hung over, they could have afforded to go to a much cooler destination that would have allowed them to get ker-slammered on the beach. So it’s hard to feel bad for anyone over a ridiculous ordinance that will prohibit the possession and consumption of alcohol on Gulf Shores beaches from now until April 17. Maybe you can blame the city for waiting until the last minute to announce this change, knowing that enacting it months ago would have resulted in thousands of would-be beach binge drinkers going elsewhere. The ordinance hinges on tired, clichéd complaints such as an uptick in crime, public urination and disorderly conduct. Right, because those things aren't merely going to happen somewhere else now that drinking on the beach is outlawed. Most will find ways to skirt the ban if possible, flying in the face of a possible $500 fine and six-month jail sentence they’ll never serve. Opponents of the ban argue they drink responsibly and didn’t cause problems pounding Keystone Light on the beach, with many saying they won't return next year if the ban prohibiting alcohol on any portion of the beach south of the protected sand dunes within the Gulf Shores city limits remains in place next year……..


- When your movie featuring the Human Torch flames out, set fire to the script and cast blame on those who penned it rather than shouldering responsibility as one of the actors who staffed the train wreck of an unnecessary hero movie remake. Miles Teller, who played Mr. Fantastic in the regrettable and forgettable “Fantastic Four” remake last year, has opened fire on those he deems responsible for the film's poor reception - and stunningly, it’s not the actors or director. He and Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara and Jamie Bell didn’t exactly deliver award-winning efforts, but Teller pointed the blame finger elsewhere. "I think it was Clooney who said you can make a bad movie out of a good script, you can't make a good movie out of a bad script, and that's very true,” Teller lamented. “Because I know actors that have been in literally Oscar-winning performances that told me the script was a struggle every day to get it to a place that [they] wanted it, and [they] were always fighting for the best version of it.” He went on to ramble about some nonsense about possible sequels and actors having bigger parts in those sequels and rewrites and script notes, but it all sounded like nonsensical scapegoating from an actor who isn't exactly on the level of George Clooney, Rosemary Clooney or any other Clooney to whom he may have been referring. Fact is, this dumpster fire of a film was dead in the water the instant the studio green-lit it because A DAMN RECENT VERSION OF THE SAME DAMN MOVIE WAS MADE LESS THAN A DECADE AGO. Not enough changes in a decade to remake most any movie, so poor writing and bad acting were merely the final nail in a coffin that was already glued, clamped shut and hammered with 20 other nails………


- Prepare to be shocked, world. There was an election held in an impoverished Asian nation with strong ties to Russia and in the immediate aftermath of said election, an international election observation group says there were irregularities in the voting process. Exit polls show President Nursultan Nazarvayev's political party Nur Otan won a sweeping victory with around 80 percent of the popular vote, but in a stunning twist, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe's special coordinator for election observation in Kazakhstan, Geir Joergen Bekkevold, believes something shady was going on. Bekkevold noted that international observers, who were allowed unfettered access, observed ballot-box stuffing and other irregularities and in an election where those in power were expected to do exactly these sorts of dubious things, it’s almost impressive that those in power did these things not giving a damn that international observers were there. The elections affirmed the ruling party's grip on power and came amid a collapse in Kazakhstan's economic fortunes caused by the falling price for oil, its main export commodity. But maybe, just maybe, a party presiding over a country whose inflation is around 15 percent and whose currency has lost 30 percent of its value is really doing a stellar job running the nation and merely needs a little more time to turn things around. Perhaps the voters recognized that truth and merely decided to enthusiastically - and unethically - do everything possible to make sure Nazarvayev and his sycophants were elected to keep kicking ass just as they have been these past few years……..


- Congratulations to Indian Wells CEO Raymond Moore because at a time when college basketball, the NBA and upcoming NFL draft are grabbing almost all of America’s sports attention span, this out-of-touch, rich old white dude’s ignorance has brought the spotlight to tennis for a fleeting moment. Moore, sounding very much like your creepy, inappropriate grandpa who believes the world is stuck in 1950 with all of its socially backwards cultural mores, went out of his way to blast women’s tennis players for gravy-training off the success of their male counterparts. "I think the WTA [Women's Tennis Association] ... You know, in my next life, when I come back, I want to be someone in the WTA because they ride on the coattails of the men," Moore said. "They don't make any decisions, and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I'd go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born because they have carried this sport. They really have." Suggesting that women genuflect before men is a very progressive take, but him adding that being attractive is a big aspect of the next wave of women’s stars taking the mantle of current No. 1 player Serena Williams was several steps lower. Part of these ignorant remarks may stem from Moore’s macho mindset as a former professional player from South Africa, but Williams handled Moore’s idiocy as well as she could. "Obviously, I don't think any woman should be down on their knees thanking anybody like that," she said. “I think there is a lot of women out there who are more ... are very exciting to watch. I think there are a lot of men out there who are exciting to watch. I think it definitely goes both ways. Williams is right, while the only positive fallout from Moore opening his mouth is tennis getting more attention for a fleeting moment………

Monday, March 21, 2016

KISS v. Talib Kweli, stealing a mute dog in a truck and Dwight Howard gets hate to stick


- It’s not just professional athletes and Hollywood celebrities who aren’t smart enough to treat Twitter - and all social media outlets - like the loaded gun they truly are. Even political officials put in positions of power by those entrusted to run entire nations have proven that they don’t really understand just how much damage they can do in 140 characters or less.  Irem Aktas, a Turkish official linked to the party founded by President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, has stepped in it by posting on Twitter that she wished for the death of more Israelis caught up in Saturday's suicide bombing on Istanbul's main pedestrian shopping street that killed five people, including two people with dual Israeli-U.S. citizenship. "I wish the Israeli citizens were not wounded but had all die," Aktas wrote. Granted, this ass hat is only an official at a local office of the Justice Development Party (AKP), but those ill-advised words still reached Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who gave the news that two Israelis had been killed and that there might be a third fatality. Netanyahu said his government had contacted the Turkish government, which gave assurances that action would be taken against the official. "I demanded it be removed and that steps be taken against the woman who published it. The tweet was removed,” the prime minister said. According to Turkish officials, at least six Israelis were wounded in the attack and Hatice Yucel, the chairman of the AKP women's branch in Istanbul's Eyup district, tried to put out the social media fire by quickly insisting that the opinion shared on social media certainly does not reflect the party's views……….


- What’s worse than being an underachieving NBA team fronted by a pair of underachieving, widely disliked star players? How about having one of those players caught blatantly cheating during a game you lost by 12 points and upping his hateability factor tenfold. Step right up, multi-time NBA All-Star Dwight Howard the goofy, inherently dislikable Houston Rockets center who does asinine sh*t like insist he’s a champion no matter what anyone says and regardless of the fact that he declared himself a champion after being eliminated from the second round of the playoffs. But ol’ Dwight took his penchant for making people hate him to new levels this weekend when he tried to Stickum up the basketball during a game against the Atlanta Hawks. The officials removed the affected game ball because of a sticky substance that Howard applied, spraying on his hands from a can covered in white tape while waiting to re-enter the game late in the first quarter. Yes, covering that can in tape to conceal what it is always works. Atlanta forward Paul Millsap made the first of two free throws and then Howard checked back in, curiously grabbing the ball from the official. When Millsap got the ball back, he wondered why it felt a bit tacky. "I've never felt the ball like that, ever," Millsap said. "It was sticky. It was like super glue or something was on there. I couldn't get it off my hands. It was the weirdest thing ever." Official Monty McCutchen did some detective work, issued a warning to both benches and reminded each team that stickum is illegal in the NBA, all while Rockets coach J.B. Bickerstaff slid in front of the can, which was still at the scorer's table, in an attempt to conceal it. Afterward, Howard claimed he’s used stickum for years and, I don't know why people are making a big deal out of it, I do it every game. It's not a big deal. I ain't tripping." Yes, but you’re going to be sitting, as in serving a suspension once the league metes out justice here……..


- Who says there’s no decency among car thieves? The lowlife who thieved a 2013 Chevy pickup near Emporia, Kansas and with it a Weimaraner named Gunner could have kept on motoring until his inevitable arrest without regard for the dog that can't bark riding shotgun, but this grand auto thief was kind enough to let Gunner go, lest the pooch get caught up in whatever shenanigans might befall him on his adventurous run from the law. The thief, who was eventually arrested after an 81-mile trek that ended with him leaving both the truck and dog behind, took the truck when Gunner’s owner went inside a courthouse to renew his vehicle’s registration. When the owner, whom police declined to identify, came back outside, both the truck and dog were gone. Wichita police were notified of the theft and began searching for the vehicle, eventually tracking both truck and canine down in a rural location after the suspect left them behind. So far, the exact motives behind this odd crime haven’t been revealed, but anyone who would steal an old truck from outside a courthouse without bothering to see if it had a dog inside that might literally come back to bit him on the ass is probably some combination of stupid, high, drunk and in need of a thievery for idiots class. The good news is that no animals or vehciles were harmed in the making of this crazy tale and at the end of the day, everyone and everything is back where they belong - parked in the garage, chasing their tail in the back yard or in jail, awaiting trial in a case that shouldn’t be all that difficult for prosecutors to win………


- It’s out-of-touch, sellout rocker vs. lyrically sound, much more current rapper and unfortunately for the KISS Army, rocker Gene Simmons comes out of this one looking bad. The bassist recently made the moronic statement that he is "looking forward to the death of rap," doing all but mocking those damn kids with their backwards baseball hats, saggy pants and “gangster rap” lyrics. Simmons denounced rap as “just talking,” which is a bit like calling KISS just a bunch of dudes with an affinity for makeup and leather. His words reached rapper Talib Kweli, who  responded by tweeting, "Would it be unfair of me to say I'm looking forward to the death [of Gene Simmons] or nah?" Simmons tried to spin out of it by explaining that he was merely observing that "everything is cyclical, even music," Kweli was having none of that deke job. "Pointing out everything is ‘cyclical’ is different than ‘looking forward’ to things dying. Do better Gene,” the rapper replied. Simmons, showing that he loves attention and anything that will keep him in the spotlight despite the fact that his band hasn’t really been relevant in years, clearly had to respond and respond he did. "I'm all for anybody talking," he added. "'Wild Thing' was talking: 'Wild thing, she makes my heart sing/ she makes everything … .' There's no melody there. That's cool. Napoleon XIV, 'They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!' That's a funny song, but those are novelty records. So was Dickie Goodman and 'Mr. Jaws.' These were all hits, by the way. But predominantly, music is about melody and lyric, whether it's rap or doo-wop, or yeah, even rock." A very narrow definition of music and clearly exposing you for the industry dinosaur you are, G………