Sunday, June 21, 2015

Uber sidelines sidearms, the "Bourne" gang reunites and Riot Watch! England


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! England’s rage is real and despite the regal manner in which the Brits like to carry themselves, they find themselves in a position not so different than the one in which Greeks find themselves as the hands of those authoritarian ass hats at the European Union. Greece has agreed to myriad cuts, changes and austerity measures handed down by the EU in exchange for keeping their fiscally insolvent state above water and now that the British government is applying the same sorts of measures to England, let’s just say the English aren't drinking it down the way they do their beloved warm beer. Instead, thousands of angry Englishmen took the chance to gather in an angry mob outside of the Bank of England for a march to protest against British government austerity programs and spending cuts. Sadly, the march from the financial district to Parliament Square was disappointingly peaceful even though the protestors claimed to be irate about public sector cuts meant to address government deficits, which ballooned after Britain rescued troubled banks during the 2008 financial crisis. If they were really angry then sh*t would have gotten burned, overturned, looted and hurled, so these protest poseurs’ argument that the public is being punished for a crisis it did not cause doesn’t hold much weight. Place blame for that on Sam Fairbairn of the People's Assembly, which organized the event and said the march will be the start of a nationwide campaign of protest, strikes and civil disobedience. Sorry Sam, but none of that sounds like it’s going to make much of a difference……….


- Much to the surprise of no one, the latest World Anti-Doping Agency report on who is and isn't jamming illegal substances into their veins or down their throats in the pursuit of athletic excellence on a global stage. The WADA report shows expected clubhouse leaders Russia and Turkey producing the most doping violations, with equally expected individual sport leaders weightlifting and track and field heading the list of those with the highest number of cases. It also revealed that a whopping 1,953 sanctions were handed out for doping violations committed in 2013 and to the credit of the world’s many athletics-loving nations, those sanctions and the cases from which they were spawned  involved athletes and support personnel in 115 countries and in 89 sports. In other words, dishonesty, scumbaggery and deceit know no language barriers or ethnic constraints. Everyone cheats and everyone can translate the phrase, “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying and it’s only cheating if you get caught,” into their own language. Still two nations managed to separate themselves from the pack and try to gain an unfair, illegal edge more than any other. Russia led all countries with 225 violations, followed by Turkey with 188. WADA president Craig Reedie stated the blatantly obvious when he said that "with close to 2,000 sanctions in one year and almost every sport represented, it's evident that doping still represents a huge threat to modern day sports." Way to shock the world, C-Note. As for which sports were the dirtiest, athletics produced 280 violations and weightlifting had 252………


- What the hell, Uber? You may think your supposedly revolutionary transportation service in which ordinary schlubs with a car and some spare time shire strangers around town is awesome and will revolutionize the driving business, but it won't if you keep pulling sh*t like this. Yes, the ride-hailing app  is banning its riders and drivers from carrying guns. Uber announced late last week that it is banning firearms of any kind during rides arranged through the Uber platform and may ban drivers or riders who violate the rule from accessing the platform. Of course, there is no damn way Uber can actually enforce this given the independent contractor nature of its system, short of providing drivers with portable body scanners and patting down every driver before they head out on the road, but merely announcing this change - effective July 10 - should do a decent amount to make both drivers and passengers feel safer. Uber said in a statement that it made the change after reviewing feedback from both passengers and drivers. The San Francisco-based company allows users to summon cars through an app in more than 250 cities worldwide and is valued at around $40 billion. In the past, Uber deferred to local law on the issue, but in the face of various legal and regulatory challenges as it expands in the United States and abroad for many issues, including the thoroughness of the background checks it does on drivers and other safety issues, it has decided that change is needed. Oh, and there was that incident in April in which an Uber driver with a concealed-carry permit shot a man who had opened fire on a group of pedestrians in Chicago. According to court records, the man was shooting at pedestrians who were walking in front of the Uber driver's vehicle, and the driver shot the gunman. Although the driver wasn’t charged and prosecutors said he acted in defense of himself and others, Uber has decided to play it safe and sideline sidearms……….


- The gang is getting back together and it’s a beautiful thing. We already know that after an abortion of a bogus “Bourne” movie three years ago in which the name of the titular character is the only actual link to said character in the entire subpar movie, Bourne himself will be riding back to the franchise’s rescue as Matt Damon takes his rightful place at the head of the film and elbows Jeremy Renner aside. Damon is returning because his chosen director for the film, Paul Greengrass, is back and as it turns out, so is another key piece of the first three (legitimate) films in the series. Julia Stiles has signed on to appear in the fourth installment of the Bourne franchise, reprising her role as intelligence agent Nicky Parsons. Like Damon and Greengrass and other key members of the family, Stiles mercifully had nothing to do with the cinematic stink bomb that was “The Bourne Legacy” and now she can step back in and be a part of making the franchise awesome once more. This could change the recent rumors linking former “Machina” actress Alicia Vikander  to the female lead in the fifth “Bourne” film, but it’s not like that would be devastating news to anyone because Vikander has no history with the franchise and you can't miss something that never existed. There is no official title for the fifth film, but it will mark Damon’s first turn as Jason Bourne in a decade and for the first of their soon-to-be-four turns together in it, Damon and Greengrass will write the screenplay themselves, alongside Christopher Rouse, who served as editor on the second and third Bourne films. Details about the plot are being tightly guarded, but merely comparing it to “Legacy” will undoubtedly make it shine by sheer comparison………

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