- Are
chimps the cool kids of the animal kingdom? You bet your sweet ass they are and
if you doubted it for a second, you clearly don’t know the chimpanzee
population of West Africa, where primates get their buzz on with massive,
frequent boozing sessions featuring the fermented sap of palm trees —
normally used to make palm wine - and detailed in a new study published Wednesday. The
revolutionary thinkers who put out the journal Royal Society Open Science
focused on primates living in Guinea, which use palm fronds to soak up the
fermented sap of raffia palms that can contain up to 6.9 percent alcohol. Your
average IPA doesn’t match that alcohol content and it seems like the chimps in
Guinea know how to get down. "The habitual and voluntary consumption
of ethanol has been documented until now, only in humans," apart from
anecdotal observations in wild apes, said Kimberley Hockings of Oxford Brookes
University, one of the report's co-authors. Big ups to these chimps because
while baboons in other areas of Africa are pulling lame sh*t like stealing fermenting
grapes from vineyards and monkeys are slumming it in an attempt to snag an
occasional cocktail from unsuspecting resort tourists, the chimpanzees in
Boussou are getting liquored up without any assistance from humans. Some of the
chimps "consumed significant quantities of ethanol and displayed
behavioral signs of inebriation," the study found. The ringleader, or
fraternity president as he is known among the chimps, is a beast who had a hand
in nearly a third of the keggers these animals hosted. "One adult male in
particular accounted for 14 of 15 events," the researchers wrote. The only
question to ask now, it seems, it whether these chimps need a proper beer
bong………..
- You
take all the time you need, FIFA. It’s totally understandable that you’ve suspended
the 2026 World Cup bidding process amid a widening corruption scandal tainting
previous bid contests. No one should dare judge FIFA secretary general Jerome
Valcke when he says it would be "nonsense" to begin the process now
because he couldn’t be more right. When FIFA contacts its 209 member
federations this week to explain the bidding timetable and rules, the
underlying message should be, “Take all the time you need, it’s OK.” Why so
much understanding for a thoroughly corrupt governing body that has spent years
taking bribes and handing out bids based not on merit, but on who has the most
suitcases full of cash? Precisely because FIFA is a thoroughly corrupt
governing body that has spent years taking bribes and handing out bids based
not on merit, but on who has the most suitcases full of cash. See, the rotten
and dishonest souls who comprise FIFA simply don’t know how to do things any
differently. The only way they’ve ever known has been ripped by them thanks to
an investigation by the United States government that took down 14 disgraced
FIFA leaders and forced the long-overdue resignation of Chief Corruption
Officer Sepp Blatter. Asking the 209 member nations to choose the 2026 host at
their May 2017 meeting in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia without having the luxury of
knowing who to vote for simply based on the size of bribes received is just unfair
and borderline cruel. Hell, FIFA is still mulling what to do with the 2018 and
2022 Cups it unjustly awarded to Russia and Qatar, respectively. Right now, the
plan seems to be allowing Vlad Putin to keep the 2018 World Cup and eventually
rip Qatar’s right to host because, well, Qatar has no soccer tradition,
120-degree temperatures and stadiums being built by slave laborers dying at an
alarming rate. But take your time adjusting to your stunning new reality, FIFA.
We’ll wait……….
- Fisticuffs
are about to fly in Minnesota and pepper is the reason. On one side of the
battle is a small Minnesota producer, Watkins Inc.,
and on the other side is giant spice maker McCormick & Co. Watkins picked
this fight against its much larger foe because it claims McCormick misled
consumers by secretly cutting the amount of pepper in its tins by 25 percent without
reducing the price or size of the container. It sounds like the short of crap
companies pull all the time without anyone noticing, but someone at Watkins was
paying attention and now the dispute has landed in federal court in Minneapolis
in the form of a federal lawsuit on account of a 147-year-old company which has
been trying to expand its spice business in recent years and seems to have
settled on grasping for publicity via lawsuit against a much larger rival as a
good route. In the lawsuit, Watkins
claims McCormick has violated federal and state laws regarding deceptive trade
practices and has mislead consumers and food retailers by cutting the amount of
pepper in its spice tins by half to 2 ounces. McCormick "gave the false
impression that nothing had changed," Watkins claimed in its lawsuit. The
company's pepper tins "are now 25 percent empty, which constitutes
nonfunctional 'slack-fill.'" As opposed to every potato chip bag ever,
which are all 80 percent empty? McCormick has long been viewed as a gold
standard for the seasoning business, according to the lawsuit, and prompted competing
brands to use similarly sized tins, Watkins argues. "McCormick
intentionally maintained the price of its standard tins, notwithstanding the
significant reduction in the amount of ground black pepper contained in the
traditional tin, which had the effect of further adding to the perception that
nothing had changed,” Watkins’ attorneys argued in the suit. As McCormick spokeswoman
Lori Robinson tells it, the company has
reduced the net weight of its black pepper and has been forthright about the
changes. Nice try, L. No one looks good in this dispute, except those who like their
food plain………
- “The
Get Down” is virtually guaranteed to be better than Jaden Smith’s last major
film. In “After Earth,” he and his father held down an inherently unwatchable
and imminently forgettable post-apocalyptic non-thriller than left the few
people unfortunate enough to see it yawning and reaching for their smartphone
to find some entertainment. But Will Smith’s son has bounced back by joining
the cast of “The Get Down,” Netflix's forthcoming music-driven drama series
from “Moulin Rouge” and “Romeo + Juliet” director Baz
Luhrmann. The project will be set in 1970s New York and over the course of 13
episodes, it will follow a mismatched group of teenagers from the underprivileged South Bronx
district as they become involved in the city's innovative new hip-hop, punk and
disco scenes. Smith will have a recurring role as a talented young graffiti
artist named Marcus 'Dizzee' Kipling and Luhrmann released a statement
announcing his addition to the cast. "We as an audience have known Jaden
since he was very young. Recently, Jaden has been seeking diverse and
challenging roles and this is a testament to his passion to grow in the craft,”
Luhrmann said. “We’re all very happy with the casting of Jaden in the role of
'Dizzee' Kipling." The cast has former “NYPD Blue” star Jimmy Smits,
alongside young actors Herizen Guardiola, Justice Smith, Shameik Moore, Yahya
Abdul-Mateen and Mamoudou Athie. Luhrman,
interestingly, will only direct the first two episodes and the final episode,
as well as serving as an executive producer. His wife, four-time Oscar winner
Catherine Martin, will also serve as an executive producer as well as costume
and production designer. “The Get Down” will make its Netflix debut in 2016 and
it will be Luhrmann's first TV project following five movies………
No comments:
Post a Comment