- No
credit for fixing something you deliberately and stupidly broke, administration
at the University of Alabama-Birmingham. Back on Dec. 2, university president
Ray Watts announced that he would disband the football, rifle and women's
bowling teams after a report from CarrSports Consulting found that UAB athletic
expenses would grow to $38.5 million by 2019 while revenue would increase by
less than $1 million. At the time, the
university lied when it claimed that the difference over the next five years
would be an extra $49 million with football, including a projected $22 million
needed for football facilities and upgrades. A later independent study from
College Sports Solutions showed those figures to be gross distortions and an
enraged UAB football community rallied behind the program. That second report said
the school would operate on an annual $3.165 million deficit if it brought back
the programs, but cited the how a revived football program would "foster
much goodwill and stimulate a substantial amount of spiritual and financial
support from alumni, donors, ticket holders, friends, students, faculty and the
community." Sure enough, Justin Craft, a former UAB football player and
chair of the UAB Athletics Assessment Task Force, confirmed this week that more than $27 million
had been raised to make up for the deficit, including a $7.5 million gift
contingent on UAB building a stadium on campus. With more than 600 pledges and others sure to
follow, the administration has officially doubled back and announced that UAB
will play football in in 2016. UAB is still the first major college football
program to shut down since Pacific did so in 1995, but after one season away
and on the heels of the program's best record in a decade (6-6) under
first-year coach Bill Clark and the team's first taste of bowl eligibility
since 2004, the Blazers will ride again and not a moment too soon…….
- Thank
God we finally have an answer to what the f*ck is wrong with the world. You may
have looked around you at the earthquakes, inflation and other kinds of
disasters that have befallen mankind and wondered why all of this suffering is
happening, often to good people and bad alike. Now, we have an answer and it
comes from Jamiat Ulema-e-Islami Fazl Chief Maulana Fazlur Rehman. This bold
visionary has asked the Pakistani armed forces to launch a military operation
against women wearing jeans all over Pakistan because in his revolutionary
world view, the immodesty of women is the cause behind what ails the globe. Fazlur
Rehman rocked the mic during a press conference at a local hotel in Islamabad
and he so colorfully stated that a woman who is not covered like a 'sack of
flour' is a mobile weapon of mass destruction for her state and that Pakistan
has multitude of such nuclear missiles in all its major cities. Is it a massive
reach with no actual connection to reality? You bet. Likening women in Levi’s
to nukes is ridiculous, but that didn’t stop Rehman from blaming 'immodest women' for the Baluchistan crisis,
lack of energy supply and the deteriorating security situation in Pakistan. His
solution is for women to be wrapped in sacks and kept inside homes and Shariah
law be put in place, thereby preventing the terrorist kooks of the Taliban from
attacking. He delusionally claimed that that Taliban were not Pakistan’s enemy
and the forces needed to target the real enemies of Pakistan: denim, b’otches.
The best part of all of this is that, as per Rehman, once women are wrapped in
burlap sacks and trapped indoors, the Taliban will stop reigning Allah’s terror
down on Pakistan and the economy will soar due to the sudden surge of foreign
investments, leading to improvement in the energy situation. Stay crazy, you
beautiful nut job……….
- This
is awkward. There is an unspoken rule in life that you never, ever ask a woman
if she is pregnant or any variation of when her bundle of joy is due unless
that woman has actually and explicitly stated to you that she is in fact with
child. No one told the skeptics who spent the past few days speculating about
whether Grammy-award winning neo-soul singer Erykah Badu was pregnant with her
fourth child, because if they had, we wouldn’t be dealing with this awkward
situation in which rumors of Badu's
possible pregnancy began with a number of different websites posting pictures
of her wearing a crop top at a live show and pointing to what appeared to be a
larger stomach. It took Badu all of five seconds to rush to Twitter and fire a
kill shot into the heart of those rumors, writing: "No, just fat." Ouch.
Not only does this lady habe to deal with people speculating about something
intensely personal, but the only way to shoot down those false claims is to
admit that you have no dietary discipline and cannot push away from the dinner
table. "What y'all think Fatbellybella MEAN? I just be hongry. I feel sick
if I don't eat...& eat," Badu tweeted. She even had to correct her
friend and fellow singer Janelle Monae after Monae tweeted, “I just heard you
were preggo. Why wouldn't you tell me Twinn?? Feeling hurt and lost.” Maybe don’t
look for a follow-up to the pair’s 2013 collaboration “Q.U.E.E.N,” from Monae’s
album, ‘The Electric Lady.’ In the end, this case is additional proof that
social media is basically an excuse for ass hats with no information and little
intelligence to speculate over something they know nothing about because doing
so will boost page views and drive revenue……..
- Even
for a former member of Congress, Dirty Dennis Hastert is despicable. The former
Speaker of the House left Congress in 2007 but it appears he took full
advantage of his time in office by paying a former student to keep quiet about
allegations of sexual abuse dating back to the time when Hastert was a teacher
and wrestling coach in Illinois. Back then, Hastert was a teacher and wrestling
coach in Yorkville, Illinois and had yet to become a corrupt, soulless
politician. He taught and coached from 1965 and 1981 before entering politics
and according to federal law enforcement officials, his illicit actions during
that time led to him (allegedly) lying to the FBI about $3.5 million he agreed
to pay to an undisclosed person to "cover up past misconduct." That
person, it seems, is a former student who was a male and a minor when the
alleged abuse took place. Federal law enforcement officials said that
investigators decided not to pursue a possible extortion case in the matter,
while the high school where Hastert worked released a statement earlier Friday
denying any knowledge of past misdeeds. "Yorkville Community Unit School
District #115 has no knowledge of Mr. Hastert's alleged misconduct, nor has any
individual contacted the District to report any such misconduct," the
district said in its CYA (Cover Your Ass) statement. Sources close to Hastert
say he feels violated and wronged by all of this, which is incredibly and sadly
ironic given what he’s accused of. There remains plenty of mystery in the
seven-page indictment federal officials lodged against the former Republican
House speaker, but here’s guessing it only gets uglier from here……….
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