Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Babies on beer bottles, music videos without hoes or blow and a bobsled slimdown


- Damn, El Salvador. Seriously, damn. There are dangerous countries, there are countries you wouldn’t travel unless you had an armored convoy and then there’s the murderous Central American nation that just submitted a 635-murder month of May, averaging nearly 20 - 20! - homicides a day. While there is no Elias Sports Bureau to keep track of such statistics on a national or international level and no advanced murder metrics to break down the grisly, gory details, that number is believed to be the most violent deaths for a single month since the Central American nation's civil war ended in 1992. The reasons for the surge in people maliciously sending their fellow man shuffling off this mortal coil vary depending upon whom you ask, with justice Minister Benito Lara attributing the violence to gang turf wars and national police director Mauricio Ramirez Landaverde pointing to what he calls a deliberate attempt by criminal organizations to ramp up violence. It makes sense, after all, because violence is kind of what criminals do and if they don’t use the best skills they have, then what’s the point of being an outlaw? Landaverde noted that 60 percent of the homicide victims were gang members and if that’s accurate, then maybe this isn't as sad an occasion as it could have been. Still, it’s stunning to see 635 murders when just three months ago in March  El Salvador recorded 481 homicides, at the time the highest monthly toll in at least a decade.  That number dipped to a mere 421 in April, but surged by more than 50 percent in May. As always, April showers bring May floods of blood running through the streets………


- Forget those extra sleds, skeleton and bobsled professionals of the sports world. You may think you’re entitled to that third entry into bobsled and skeleton's world championships and Olympic races, but as of 2017, that extra weight on your team is getting cut. Nations will be capped at two sleds in each race at those events starting in 2017 thanks to an executive smackdown delivered by the International Bobsleigh and Skeleton Federation's executive committee. The committee voted to eliminate the possibility of third sleds in all disciplines and the lone remaining hurdle between the world and much shorter bobsled and skeleton events on the international stage is  International Olympic Committee approval, which is expected.  When it comes to World Cup events, nations will still be able to have three sleds entered in keeping with longstanding customs, but ripping that third sled will force team to trim their rosters and will allow fans to spend less time on the side of a cold mountain or hill some place around the world waiting to see whoever the hell the top bobsledders and skeleton competitors in the world are right now. Oh, and whoever is in the sleds on the ladies’ side of the meet, it’s time to come correct on your diet and start beefing up your cardio routine because the FIBT also voted to reduce the maximum permitted combined weight for sleds and crew in women's bobsledding by 66 pounds, a change that will be phased in over the next two seasons. All in all, a truly great day for bobsled, bobsleigh and skeleton courses around the globe………


- There are lots of places babies should not be: next to me on planes, front row at a strip club, inside the tiger enclosure at the local zoo….but on the front of a beer bottle is not on that list. That face seems to have eluded New Hampshire Gov. Maggie Hassan, who made the foolish mistake of vetoing a measure that would have allowed some images of minors to grace alcoholic beverage labels as long as they didn't encourage young people to drink.  Specifically, this bill was a self-serving effort fronted by Republican state Rep. Keith Murphy, who runs a popular tavern and sponsored the bill because he wanted to be able to buy Breakfast Stout, crafted by Founders Brewery Co. in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Murphy’s would-be acquisition features a label depicting  a chubby Norman Rockwell-esque baby scooping oatmeal into his mouth and while it’s easy to argue that such an image isn't exactly enticing anyone, child or adult, to consume alcohol, the state’s Democratic governor believes that allowing the images could undermine the state's efforts to fight underage drinking. Really Maggie? What teenager who’s on the fence about having an illegal beer at the party their buddy Kyle throws when his parents are out of town for the weekend is going to decide to go bottoms up because he sees a fat baby on the label of the bottle? Murphy says the veto is an overreach and smartly pointed out that neighboring Massachusetts, Maine and Vermont sell the beer in question. So is this merely an example of government missing the point and using the legislative process in a thinly veiled attempt to serve personal interests? Yes, and it’s a shame Gov. Hassan is doing so………..


- Music videos are not what they used to be. There was a time when hot groupies, expensive cars, premium alcohol and off-the-wall parties were the primary fodder for videos and there was little actual point to what happened on the screen other than serving as a vehicle from promoting a band’s newest single. Maybe Rage Against The Machine bassist Tim Commerford could return to those happier days instead of using his side project’s latest song as a vehicle to rip the American healthcare system in a video that shows him getting actual spinal surgery after rupturing a disc in his back. Commerford is currently fronting the band Future User and released the video as a tandem entry alongside the band’s song “Voodoo Juju.” It depicts former Rage frontman Tom Morello as a money-grabbing doctor the who explains to Commerford that, because the band hasn't played since 2011, his health insurance has expired. Dr. Morello then informs his patient that he will have to pay massive fees for his medical care and the clip also sees cameos from Rush members Alex Lifeson and Geddy Lee, spliced together with über-graphic footage of Commerford's actual surgery. "I got the idea for the video after I ruptured a disc in my back and needed emergency surgery," Commerford said in a statement. "As someone who often goes under the knife, I’ve always been a bit overwhelmed by the process, paperwork, approvals and costs. Luckily, I have insurance, but it got me thinking about all the people in this country who can’t afford medical treatment.” Yes, but where are the ho’s and blow? That’s what music videos are supposed to have, man……….

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