- Feel the rage, Indian region of Kashmir. Angry Kashmiris have shuttered shops and businesses in the disputed
Himalayan region to protest India's plan to build townships for Hindus who fled
a rebellion in Muslim-majority areas, raging against the idea of accommodating
these newly minted nomads. Kashmiri separatists called Saturday's strike because
they believe the plan to house nearly 200,000 Hindus in new townships is part
of a conspiracy to separate the region's population along religious lines. That’s
right, they’re conspiracy theory kooks. Conspiracy theory nut jobs are the best
because they have zero attachment to reality and an unnerving commitment to
their unrealistic world view. In this case, it’s a truly well-crafted and
outlandish conspiracy anchored in the one subject capable of enraging folks
like none other, religion. Those are the center of the drama are Hindus, known
as Pandits, who fled to Hindu-dominated areas in Jammu region or elsewhere in
India in 1990. The strike was nicely paired with violent clashes between anti-India
protesters and government forces left at least 20 people injured, including a
photojournalist and eight policemen, in Kashmir's main city of Srinagar. All in
all, it was an outstanding start to what should be a truly memorable weekend of
rage, paranoia, dissidence and hopefully stir the pot for many weeks of
uprisings to come. Kick it up a notch, Kashmir, because there’s plenty of
mileage left in your warped world view……..
- Will the 2016 Summer Olympics be a giant dumpster fire of
a sporting event put on by a country that has been a mess at virtually every
turn along the way to hosting the world’s biggest sporting event? Probably, so
why not shove that dumpster fire into the one wedge of the day where most potential
television viewers will be napping it out and dreaming of a world in which the
Games go to a country with both the money and infrastructure to properly host
them? Big ups to Olympic organizers who have slated events in such a way that
events will run until well after midnight in a town world-famous for its
nightlife. The men's and women's beach volleyball finals on famous
Copacabana Beach will wrap up about 1:30 a.m. if and only if the day runs on
schedule, which of course it won't. Look for a 3 a.m. finale that a bunch of
drunk tourists and locals will watch, but most people around the world will
ignore in favor of that beloved phenomenon we all call sleep. Beach volleyball
will go on for 13 days of the 16 the games are scheduled to cover and there is
action at the venue nightly until at least 1 a.m. -- even for preliminary,
quarterfinal and semifinal rounds. Rio clearly wants a 24-hour-party image in
general and the Games are the perfect setting to showcase that spirit. Rio is
in a time zone one hour ahead of the Eastern time zone and four hours ahead of
Pacific Standard time, so maybe the West Coast dwellers will have a chance to
catch the action if they’re not too busy at the beach or getting Botoxed.
Here’s to the epic hangover that attendees of the beach volleyball finals will
have when they stagger back to their wildly overpriced hotel room at 4 a.m. and
raid the mini-bar……….
- Boy, this is going to bring a lot of never-before-seen
shame on the esteemed world of late-night television pitchmen. For such an
esteemed, respected lot, it’s just sad to see a story like the one involving Dell "Super Dell" Schanze. Schanze pleaded guilty to charges
of kicking a barn owl in flight while riding a motorized paraglider and if that
sounds like a hilarious scene of mid-air comedy that someone damn well better
have caught on film, you’re in luck. The existence of video proof of the
confrontation is the very reason Schanze was in court in Utah. He was charged after
a federal investigation into a video that surfaced online last year and
appeared to show a paraglider kicking a soaring owl and boasting about it. It
turns out that Schanze was that paraglider and for some odd reason, the U.S.
Attorney's Office felt the need to hit him with a misdemeanor charge of knowingly
using an aircraft to harass wildlife and pursuing a migratory bird. Yes, that law
is actually on the books and pleading guilty to is landed Schanze with one year
of court probation. He had a proposed plea deal, but it fell through when he
amazingly refused to admit to the crime. That was the ultimate eff-you move
given that the other side in the case had actual video proof of him committing
the very crime of which he was accused. A more creative prosecutor may have
asked the judge to sentence Schanze to film a series of cheesy late-night
infomercials about helping save the oft-persecuted breed of bird known as the
barn owl………
- As entertaining as they may be right now, Mumford and Sons
will not go on forever. Sure, Marcus Mumford and his pals are the hot thing in
indie-folk right now and lyrically they’re awesome, but eventually their star
will fade. Bassist Winston Marshall knows this and it’s why he’s looking ahead
to what he’ll do when he hangs up his instrument and must find another way to
earn a living. It seems Marshall’s time in and around New York City has
inspired him to channel his inner Andy Kaufmann and take improv comedy lessons.
Marshall said New York's comedy scene has inspired him to try his hand in classes
at the famous Upright Citizens Brigade theater ahead of the band’s release of
its third album, “Wilder Mind,” next month. He relocated to New York in 2013
and has become enamored with the comedy scene in the city. The Upright Citizens
Brigade is famous for helping launch the careers of comedy favorites like Tina
Fey and Amy Poehler, so maybe it can take a hipster icon like Marshall and turn
him into the next Kevin Hart. When asked what his most recent monologue at the
club was, Marshall said: "I don't know, exactly. It involved condoms and
being Jewish." One of his goals for his comedy work is to bring Upright
Citizens Brigade to England because as Marshall noted, the Brits “don’t have
anything like it." As part of his comedy career, Marshall is also developing
comedic web series, although he hasn’t cranked out any hit works just yet. In
the meantime, “Wilder Mind” hits the marketplace on May 4 and if the product
actually matches the buzz around it, then Marshall won’t have to worry about
becoming Jerry Seinfeld 2.0 for at least a few more years………..
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