Thursday, April 23, 2015

Russian doping hijinks, Spain v. beach nudity and Calvin Harris v. Leona Lewis


- Watch “Office Space” one too many times and you get from entertained and amused to inspired to commit technological homicide on that malfunctioning hunk of microprocessors, RAM and plastic sitting on top of your desk. Colorado Springs resident Lucas Hinch is not so different than most of us, a man whose daily life involves lots of time using a electronic devices and too much time spent on his ass in front of a computer screen. Like the rest of us, Hinch’s computer doesn’t always work the way it’s supposed to and when a man has banged on the desk, stomped away from his seat and hit CTRL-ALT-DELETE too many times to count, he reaches a breaking point. Hell, every man has a breaking point and when Lucas Hinch reaches his, Windows XP eats a burning slug. See, Hinch had been fighting his computer for months and decided to take it outside to put it down. Colorado Springs police Lt. Jeff Strossner says Hinch told him he finally snapped and took the malfunctioning machine out to a nearby alley to fire the fatal shot. It seems ridiculous and perhaps even a man who needs counseling more than a crackdown by the law, but Hinch was cited for discharging a weapon within city limits. Strossner issued the citation and claimed that Hinch insisted he did not realize he was breaking the law. Sadly, even firing a gun into the air is still firing a gun within city limits and now a judge will determine the proper penalty for this heinous crime. But if shooting your computer not one, not twice, but eight times is a crime, then maybe no one should be right. Do the right thing, judicial system, and FREE LUCAS HINCH………..


- Pop musician Calvin Harris is not doing well rationalizing his decision to ditch one female pop hack with another on his hit track “We Found Love.” Harris reached the top of the pop charts with Rihanna, but he originally recorded the same song with former “X Factor Karaoke” winner Leona Lewis. Ditching one egotistical pop hack for another is sure to offend, but when Harris was pressed on the switch, he took to Twitter to explain. “Wouldn't have been a hit if anyone else had sung it tho,” Harris tweeted. Lewis previously revealed that she recorded 'We Found Love' before Rihanna and said her version is better. After Lewis laid down her version, it was given to Rihanna because Lewis wanted to release a different track as the lead single off her third album. "I worked with Calvin and we recorded 'We Found Love.’ But he went touring with Rihanna and she ended up releasing it,” Lewis said. “I didn't commit to it because I wanted 'Trouble' to be my first single so I think that was another reason they went with Rihanna. It was the same version and production but mine's better.” Hmm, overtly catty, erroneously confident and smacking of diva-ness from someone who could not be further from an actual diva. Maybe Lewis is merely embarrassed because she made a terrible choice bailing on a track that became a No. 1 hit in 25 countries and is one of the biggest selling singles of all time, selling 10.5 million copies. "There are so many songs I've recorded, only to hear other people singing them," she said.  “It happens all the time. It was a bit annoying to see how big a hit it was around the world.” Yes, it does happen a lot in a world where unoriginal hacks have other people writing songs for them and shopping them around to fake artists not talented enough to pen their own music……..


- Put those damn clothes on, tourists and locals looking to show some skin on Spain's popular northeastern Costa Brava. The coast is a place where the beaches are plentiful and world-famous, but the locals grew tired of trying to take their families to the beach only to see some overwight, pasty slob drop their pants and remove everything shielding the world from witnessing their cherubic physique. Castell-Platja D'Aro wanted to ban nudism on its beaches in 2009, saying they were used by families, but they met stiff resistance from nudist groups who said nudism was a constitutional right. In a rare instance of the legal system working intelligently in favor of those in need, Spain's Supreme Court has ruled that nudism is not a fundamental right and in the process backed the town's decision to prohibit it and impose fines. It’s the first decision of its kind and to hear the court announce that Castell-Platja D'Aro town hall has the right to ban nudism was heartening and uplifting. Town officials plan to issue fines of up to 300 euros ($322) to nudists on certain beaches and before anyone who likes showing off their body at the beach gets up in arms over the decision, just know that topless sunbathing is still allowed and nudism remains legal elsewhere in Spain, which has some 450 nudist beaches. If you’re content with just taking off your shirt or bathing suit top and leaving at least something to the imagination, continue hitting up Costa Brava. If not, there are plenty of other options when it comes for places for you to gross others out with that bulging belly and cellulite-laden thighs………


- It’s funny to think that there is anyone out there who legitimately believed that Russia would be barred from major athletics competitions because of allegations of systematic doping. No, it’s not that doping isn't going on in the Communist hell hole of a nation, but rather that the governing bodies for international sports don’t have the testicular fortitude to actually drop a ban on Vlad Putin and his crew even if the doping were rampant and undeniable. Take International Amateur Athletics Foundation (IAAF) President Lamine Diack, who made it clear that even though Russia is being investigated by the IAAF ethics commission and the World Anti-Doping Agency over claims its officials ran a sophisticated doping program, there is no chance the IAAF is dropping any kind of ban on them. He scoffed at the notion that Russia could be excluded from the world athletics championships or Olympics. "They are in. They are in," Diack said. "It's a great nation of athletics." Oh, OK. They’re supposedly a great sporting nation and therefore, they get in whether they’ve had four Olympic track champions banned this year alone – and they have. Diack ridiculed those suggestions as "a joke." Back in December, reports emerged of rampant, organized doping in Russian sports, with almost all athletes using banned substances. "We had a declaration in Russia, that they are 99 percent doped and so on. I said: 'What?' It is exaggerated," Diack said. "It is ridiculous." He went on to liken Russia's doping problem to the scandals in the United States in the 1990s and said it should be solved in a similar way, with stricter enforcement by an independent agency. Tell that the people in the race-walking world after they have to deal with controversial Russian race-walking coach Viktor Chegin, who has trained several Olympic champions but also seen more than 20 of his athletes banned for doping. This serial cheater is currently under investigation by the IAAF as part of its probe into Russian doping, but Russia is circling its decrepit, broke-ass wagons around him and hoping for the best. Given the IAAF’s weak stance on the subject, that just might be enough to fend off all of the heat and keep on chugging into all major international competitions in the near future without even a hint of worry……….

No comments: