- Jerry Seinfeld once joked on his classic sitcom that the
high-five is the lowest form of human greeting and should be eschewed at all
costs. The Milwaukee Brewers are doing him proud with their new spring training
edict, even if their motivation has little to do with advancing civilization
and more to do with keeping their players away from the doctor’s office and
prescription counter at the local pharmacy. Milwaukee is making its way through
spring training out in Arizona and yet, this group of professional athletes is
coping with a problem that’s more commonly on the agenda of your average
kindergarten teacher. It seems the Brewers are in the midst of a pinkeye
epidemic and realizing that in a sweaty, smelly and at-times unsanitary
environment like a baseball clubhouse – or dugout – this illness could spread
like news that the postgame clubhouse spread has arrived, the team is trying to
cut out contact as much as possible. Thus, team officials have banned high-fives to avoid the spread of
pinkeye following catcher Jonathan Lucroy and pitching coach Rick Kranitz
getting snipered by the ailment and being forced to stay home for 48 hours in
hopes of stopping the spread of the annoying and highly contagious malady.
"We've been going through it for a while, and it seems like a couple of
more show up every day," manager Ron Roenicke said. According to the
skipper, the team won't high-five until the outbreak is over, making Friday
afternoon’s battle against the Seattle Mariners a hand-slap-free environment.
If only other MLB staples like the hot foot, shaving cream pies to the face and
bubble gum bubbles on top of hats could be eradicated this easily………..
- Does the United States know what it’s getting itself into
by opening the door to normalized relations with Cuba? Sure, allowing Americans
to travel to Cuba and having a good economic rapport with the island nation
seems swell, but Cuba might be a bigger bunch of badasses than anyone could
have imagined. Look no further than this horrifying story of nearly two dozen people suspected of…wait for it….wait a little
longer…. conspiring to pilfer millions of eggs for sale on the black market.
Read that again and shudder, world, because these gangstas are staring down prison
terms of eight to 20 years for their crimes and if Cuban prosecutors get their
way, it will be closer to two decades for the 19 suspects accused of food
theft, generating fraudulent receipts and other crimes. These aren’t just
low-level criminals, either; the group of 19 includes several top executives of
the state-run egg distribution company in Havana and according to the Communist
Party, these evildoers were responsible for diverting some 8 million eggs to
the black market between January and October 2012 in what could well go down as
the single most-heinous poultry-related criminal enterprise in world history.
It’s safe to say that the Italian mafia and Russian organized crime have never
engaged in something so sinister involving items shot out of chickens’
backsides, with the company injured by this alleged enterprise of evil
suffering some $356,000 in losses. It’s enough to make you wonder what else
Cuba has been hiding behind its wall of secrecy all these years and just how
terrifying the underworld is for Egg Beaters in Havana………
- Not everyone in the United Kingdom is a big fan of James
Bond, even if he’s single-handedly keeping alive the image that British spies
are suave, debonair dudes with great teeth and a nonstop line of smoking-hot
ladies parading through their beds. The men and women of the Welsh National
Assembly are certainly not overwhelmed by the awesomeness of Bond, not if the
director for the new film “Spectre” wanted to shoot scenes in the Senedd debating
chamber in Cardiff Bay but was rebuffed by the National Assembly. A request to
film inside the debating chamber or Siambr was turned down by the National
Assembly of Wales a few weeks back and now, the legislature is talking junk to
Hollywood because…well, because it can. "The Senedd's Siambr is the home
of Welsh democracy and seat of government for Wales. Some media activity is
allowed in the Siambr when it relates to the work of the assembly or reflects
the Siambr's status as the focal point of Welsh civic life. It is not a drama
studio,” the legislature said in a statement. . "Decisions on requests
from the creative industries to use the assembly's estate are made on a case by
case basis, and we are proud to have collaborated with many television and film
companies on drama productions such as Sherlock
and Dr. Who. "The request
by James Bond to use the Siambr was turned down and they were offered
alternative locations on the estate which they subsequently declined."
Served, director Sam Mendes and crew. The 24th Bond film may blow a lot of sh*t
up, it may feature epic car chases and memorable fights in between Bond
shagging the eye candy for the movie, but it will not be turning the Senedd
debating chamber into its personal playground for the festivities………
- What the hell goes on at national meetings for the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity? It’s a question that needs to be
asked in light of the SAE chapter at the University of Oklahoma being closed
this month after video surfaced showing members engaging in a racist chant and
their brothers at the University of Washington under investigation for making racial
slurs and obscene gestures to black students as they marched passed the
fraternity house during a protest. UW is investigating allegations that
fraternity members – several white men – screamed the hateful remarks from the
Sigma Alpha Epsilon house as demonstrators passed Feb. 25. Ironically, the protesters
were part of a Black Lives Matter march to raise awareness about racism and in
an ironic twist, their march may have done that on a larger, uglier scale than
any of them could have imagined. The UW fraternity's chapter president, Michael
Hickey, confirmed that Sigma Alpha Epsilon has investigated and said the
fraternity believes the offending remarks in question actually came from
nonmembers. Ever the good Samaritan, he added that the fraternity is working
with others to hold them accountable, but the Black Student Union has asked the
fraternity for an apology and plans to seek sanctions against it from the body
that governs the university's fraternities. Now might be a good time to amend
the ol’ SAE charter to include a line or two stating that, “Members and pledges
shall not be racist a-holes or make bigoted, hate-speech remarks to any ethnic
group or nationality.” You know, because abiding by what should be a
universally understood rule seems to be a problem for SAE right now………..
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