- First rule of James Bond theme-singing club is you do not
ever let anyone know that you want to join the club before they invite you. Paloma
Faith should have known better, but she couldn’t resist the pull and aura of
the Bond club, saying she believes she was "born" to sing the theme. She quickly
added that she believes merely expressing her interest likely took her out of
the running. All of this could be a transparent publicity stunt from an artist
who knows that British singer Sam Smith is the clear frontrunner for the
assignment and a relative unknown like Paloma Faith has little chance of being
selected anyhow. "I feel like I was born to do it," Faith said. "You're
supposed to pretend that you're really cool as a cucumber and stuff just comes
to you, but I'm not really that type of person, but now I've messed it for
myself because I've told everyone that I would like to do it." The
conversation for the job has included plenty of talk about Smith, but Ed
Sheeran, Lorde and Lana Del Rey have also been bandied about – just not Paloma
Faith. The next Bond film is titled “Spectre,” reviving/recycling a chapter
from the franchise’s past and proving that the whole thing is about raking in
the dollars at this point and not actually attempting to tread any remotely new
cinematic ground. The film has a slated release date of Nov. 7 and some time in
between now and then, a pop musician is going to be chosen to sing the latest
forgettable rendition of a song that is becoming every bit as run-of-the-mill
as the films for which it serves as a soundtrack………
- Domestic abuse has taken a turn for the pungent and
unsanitary in Florida. In a development that should surprise exactly no one,
the state that consistently combined outright insanity with a dose of senile
and a pinch of out of touch has given us Naples resident Michael Williams and
his flying bucket of human waste. Williams and his special lady friend were
having a dispute recently and that dispute centered on his belief that she had
been stepping out on him with someone else. He accused his girlfriend of
cheating on him, an allegation she seemed to dispute, and that’s where things
went haywire. See, the home where these two love birds live houses 10 people,
but only one bathroom. That means a lot of long waits for the can and to solve
the problem, the home’s residents keep a bucket outside to urinate and empty it
later. During the argument, Williams decided that he needed to weaponize
the pee at his disposal and picked up the bucket and hurled its contents at his
girlfriend. He wasn’t done, though, and next took aim with some French onion
dip from the kitchen. After chucking the dip at his dime, he then pushed her and
grabbed her by the throat while he yelled at her, according to police reports. The
evening ended with Collier County Sheriff’s deputies using more conventional
weapons in the form of the handcuffs they placed on Williams before hauling him
off to jail on charges of domestic violence. A criminal though he may be, give
this man credit for reaching new lows when it comes to finding ways to assault
his lady………
- Dallas
Mavericks small forward Chandler Parsons should take a lesson from Jack Bauer
and never, ever offend the Chinese. That’s doubly true when the Chinese are
paying you eight figures annually to represent one of their subpar products,
especially if said product is the rare one to not be laced with lead. But
Parsons is willfully stepping on the wrong side of the Communist economic
machine in his return to the court after missing seven games due to an ankle
injury. He made his comeback sans his signature shoes, which are made by Chinese
shoe company Anta. Instead of rocking Anta kicks, Parsons wore Jordan Brand
sneakers with the logos covered during the Mavs' 100-93 win over the Los
Angeles Lakers. He did so over worries that his signature shoes contributed to
the sprain and bone bruise to his left ankle. In other words, the crappy
Chinese shoes got me injured. "I just am trying to figure out if it was
one of the shoes that I was wearing that bothered me," Parsons said.
"I just wanted to fix them and make them stiffer.” He at least had the
courtesy to meet with Anta officials during the Mavs' trip to Portland, Oregon,
and the company agreed to alter his shoes to meet specifications suggested Mavs
trainer Casey Smith. "The injury that I had, [Smith] was telling me how
[the Anta shoes] were a little too flexible in the ankle, so I guess they said
Jordan Brand had a stiffer shoe,” Parsons explained. Ouch…strike two against
China. Oh, and Parsons can opt out of his shoe contract after next season, so
the clock is ticking on Anta to step its shoe game up or risk loosing a (pun
intended) foothold in the American market………….
- Memo to lackeys working in government offices in Romania:
You’re going to want to spend extra time proofreading all printed materials
going forward, especially those being presented to foreign dignitaries. Of
course, that was true before a Romanian Foreign Minister Bogdan
Aurescu presented his German counterpart, Frank-Walter Steinmeier, with a
brochure featuring a map of France…filled in with the colors of the German flag.
A brochure is a lame-ass gift anyhow and plenty of reason to be embarrassed,
but if you’re going to give someone a crappy brochure, then it had best look
like Kinko’s finest work and then some. In defense of whoever f*cked this one
up and whoever failed to catch the mistake, it is easy to simply attribute
France to German control because 75 years ago, Deutschland was rolling across
Europe and taking over everything in its view, but those other countries did
eventually regain control of their land and probably don’t enjoy reminders of
once being overrun by Hitler and his hordes. Steinmeier received the gift at
the end of a news conference Monday to mark 135 years of diplomatic relations
and as always, nothing says, “We’ve appreciated 135 years of generally getting
along with you,” quite like misappropriating land and forgetting which country
is which on the map. Romania's Foreign Ministry later apologized, claiming it
only received the erroneous brochure in the mail that morning with the
"regrettable technical error" — the colors of the German flag
contained within the map of France. Steinmeier proved why he’s a top-level
diplomat, politely insisting he hadn't even noticed the gaffe. The good news
for Romania is that it also celebrates 135 years of diplomacy this year with
Britain and France, giving it two chances to make up for this one….or f*ck it
up even further………
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