Wednesday, March 25, 2015

"American Horror" story forges on, Dutch horse meef charades and Jim Harbaugh's honesty


- You never want to convict a person for a crime before they are formally tried in a court of law or label that person with a critical designation if they have yet to serve a day behind bars for their alleged misdeeds. Having said that, Rock Hill, South Carolina resident Michael Mobley is a skeevy pedophile and he should be locked up for as long as legally possible and forced to wear a neon yellow jumpsuit with the words “SEX OFFENDER” printed over every square in as soon as he’s released back into society. That’s what you need when you are found peeping at girls from behind bushes at a school bus stop with a “To Catch a Predator”-worthy stockpile of a stolen gun, a pair of latex gloves, yellow rope, three condoms and a box cutter in your possession. Police in Rock Hill apprehended this sick freak after a call came in regarding a suspicious man seen lurking in the bushes near the bus stop. Officers were dispatched to the scene and when they tried to approach Mobley, he said he was waiting for friends who lived nearby. When asked if he was carrying any weapons, he did the sensible thing and tried to flee the scene. It didn’t take long to run him down and when officers took him to the ground, he admitted to having a gun. Mobley now faces multiple charges and is jailed with bond set at $70,000, but the good news is that it’s not as if there is a mountain of evidence and multiple witnesses against him. Here’s hoping this despicable deviant finds exactly the sort of new friends he deserves once he arrives in cell block D………..


- It’s refreshing to hear a vastly overpaid public university employee admit that he isn't worth nearly the massive salary his school chips him off each year. Wait, no it’s not. It’s an infuriating reminder that a college football coach gets way too much money for directing student-athletes in playing a game so that fans, alumni and other students can sit in a cramped stadium and scream their heads off even though at the end of the day, the outcome of that game means absolutely nothing in the greater scheme of life. So no props for new Michigan Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh for owning the fact that the seven-year deal worth up to $38.1 million that he inked this offseason to coach his alma mater is far too much for a simple college football coach. When asked if he is worth that kind of money, he bluntly answered, "No." "I'm not doing five times as much work as somebody else or doing more work than someone who's not the head football coach at the University of Michigan so, to answer your question, honestly, I would have to say no," Harbaugh said. The sad thing is that if he can help turn around a program that won just five games last season and has not beaten arch rival Ohio State since 2011, maybe even turning them into a national title contender, wealthy Michigan boosters would be happy to dole out eight figures annually to ensure the happiness and permanent Ann Arbor residence of their new coach. Just don’t expect Harbaugh to give a cent of his $7.6 million in annual pay back because he won't be doing so. "Naw," he said. "I like making a buck just like the next guy." Thanks for the honesty, Jimbo……….


- There are just some evil people out there in the world and they exist even in the fourth-happiest country on Earth. The Netherlands are a place of liberality, legalized pot, legalized prostitution and lots of pretty tulips. Yet the country also known as Holland is also home to the owner of a Dutch meat processing plant who is accused of selling horse meat as beef and who is now facing a five-year prison sentence for his culinary crimes. Prosecutors accused Willy Selten of mixing horse meat with beef "on a large scale" in 2011 and 2012, but it wasn’t until a 2013 investigation as a scandal involving horse meat sold as beef swept Europe that Selten’s alleged misdeeds came to light. At a trial in the city of Den Bosch, prosecutors claimed in a written statement that Selten deserved imprisonment because his alleged fraud "damaged the Netherlands' reputation as a meat-exporting nation." And if you didn’t know that the Netherlands HAD a reputation as a meat-exporting nation, then….well….consider your self in good company. Selten is accused of being a "master of misinformation" who falsified documents to cover up selling cheap horse meat as beef, but he has denied any such actions and will leave his fate up to the court, which is set to deliver its verdict in two weeks. Maybe in the event that Selten is found guilty, he can also be forced to issue a public apology to everyone who chowed down on a Secretariat burger when they thought they were biting into a hunk of Grade-A, top-notch beef……….


- While fan favorite Jessica Lange won't be back for the fifth season of FX’s hit series “American Horror Story,” fans of the murderous drama will have plenty of A-list talent upon which to feast their eyes in the weeks ahead. Not only will pop hack Lady Gaga be a part of the show, but so will Chloe Sevigny, who played sex addict Shelley in Season 2 of the horror anthology series, titled “Asylum.” She will step in as a to-be-fleshed-out series regular role for “American Horror Story: Hotel” and co-creator Ryan Murphy and his team are trying to keep tight wraps on the specifics of the season. However, Matt Bomer (The Normal Heart, White Collar), Wes Bentley (American Beauty, The Hunger Games) and Cheyenne Jackson (30 Rock, Behind The Candelabra) have all been confirmed as additions to the cast and the word on the street is that veteran actress Kathy Bates will be part of the mix too following increasingly large roles in the third and fourth seasons of the show. Each season of AHS introduces a new setting and characters, but there are always a few holdovers to provide some continuity to the process. Much like “True Detective,” the central focus seems to be on packing each individual season as full of big-name stars as possible and hoping that pushing the reset button on the storytelling process isn't enough to convince fans to lose interest in one of their favorite shows…….

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