Thursday, March 26, 2015

Google Maps v. MLB stars, branding your frat bros and porn stars on "True Detective"


- Keep it intolerant, authorities in Myanmar. You could have chosen to look at the heroes who dared to rise up and take part in peaceful protests against a new education law as people exercising their basic human rights to make their voices heard. Of course, this is Myanmar and so there is no way in hell that was going to happen. Instead, these authoritative ass hats have filed criminal charges against 69 student activists and their supporters who were arrested two weeks ago when police cracked down on those protests. It’s easy to root for the dissident rock stars who remained defiant as they sang songs and waved at family and supporters when they were brought in prison vans from Tharyarwaddy prison to Letpadan court to have these bogus charges against them read in open court. Said bogus charges against the group involve five different counts ranging from hurting a public servant, which carries a maximum penalty of 3 years, to being a member of an unlawful assembly, which carries a 6-month prison sentence. The day’s sham legal festivities could have been even by absurdly grandiose, as police had detained 127 people altogether after the harsh crackdown ended the weeklong standoff on March 10, but about 60 people – including 28 students and 10 Buddhist monks - were freed earlier. Even so, 69 people was more than enough to drive home the point that the government has its collective head driven so far up its executive ass that its colon should be named the regime’s official spokesperson. Here’s hoping even more protestors rise up in support of those currently being put through the meat grinder in the name of oppression…………


- Sometimes, you just need a professional for the job. The producers of HBO’s hit drama “True Detective” know it and it’s why their casting choices for the second season of the show have skewed well outside the mainstream and into the world where failed actresses seeking rent money to extend their stay in Los Angeles by a month end up in Chatsworth lying on their backs on a filthy mattress in an abandoned warehouse, taking it from a stranger on camera. Yes, “True Detective” has gone porn, at least for what is being deemed an over-the-top, sprawling orgy scene that will see dozens of participants involved in the mayhem. At the center of that sexual sh*t storm will be two women who know well what it feels like to be paid to be filmed while having sex while multiple partners for the benefit of high-definition cameras. They would be porn stars Amia Miley and Peta Jensen, who have been cast for the orgy scene through an extras casting service. You do have to give these ladies credit for branching out from the professional sex fakers scene to quasi-legitimate dramatic acting, but you also have to wonder whether dudes who recognize either Miley or Jensen while watching the show with their significant others will actually be able to hide where they recognize the women from. Stars Colin Farrell and Rachel McAdams were also on set during the filming of the massive sex scene and one has to imagine that with Ferrell’s past and proclivity for wild times with all manner of drugs, booze and loose women, he had to enjoy having a pair of porn stars on set to liven up what was already a widely anticipated second run for the show……..


- At least this fraternity scandal doesn’t involve any sort of racism or sexual assault, but that’s about all you can say for the Dartmouth College chapter of Alpha Delta. Its members belong to a fraternity with a history of hazing and alcohol violations, but the brothers have apparently gone from forcing massive amounts of cheep beer down the throats of young pledges with funnels and plastic tubing to turning them into makeshift farm animals. While still under suspension last fall, the fraternity known for partly inspiring the 1978 movie "Animal House” allegedly broke out the branding iron to welcome new members to the fold. If that’s what these bros were doing while under suspension, just imagine what they did when they were still on the right side of the law. Oh wait, there’s no need to imagine, not with their lengthy record of disciplinary violations, including hazing, serving alcohol to minors and hosting unregistered parties. College spokesman Justin Anderson said the most recent allegations stem from incidents last fall but refused to discuss g how many students may have been branded or what they may have been branded with. Prior to its suspension, the fraternity was on double super secret probation for three years, but they earned their temporary ban by hosting an unregistered party for about 70 people in August and for a March 2014 party that featured rum, whiskey and other liquor without having a designated server or someone checking IDs. That sort of behavior used to be known simply as college before the world went soft, but now it’s cause for the hammer of justice to come thundering down. The suspension was supposed to end March 29, but Anderson said Dartmouth is extending it and considering harsher punishment, including a possible death sentence for fraternity if the allegations are founded. That would end an historic run that includes two students who were seriously injured when they fell off Alpha Delta's roof in 2011 more instances of serving alcohol to minors than you can tally following a frat dude on Instagram………


- Memo to Chicago Cubs starter Edwin Jackson: Be sure to update your apps more regularly and be glad you use Google Maps and not Appl’s crappy native maps app for its iPhone. Jackson, who hasn’t exactly set the world afire during his time with the Cubs, fell victim to the wonders of technology on Tuesday when he made the mistake of relying on his phone’s mapping abilities to get home to his team’s road game against the Oakland A’s. He was the scheduled starter for the afternoon contest, but showed up too late to start because Google Maps sent him to the wrong ballpark. “I actually put it in Google Maps and typed in ‘Oakland Athletics spring training complex,’” Jackson said. “It took me to the old one. I know, it’s crazy, but, yeah, that pretty much sums it up. A crazy, crazy way to start a day.” All of this could have been avoided if Jackson had simply ridden the team bus, but in spring training, starters sometimes drive to away games if they’re nearby and leave once their few innings on the field are over. Jackson actually left before the team bus and wound up at Phoenix Municipal Stadium, which is now home to the Arizona State University baseball team. The venue he was supposed to go to, Sloan Park, is 3.6 miles away from Hohokam Stadium, which the Cubs call home. The drive from Mesa to Sloan Park should take a few minutes, but instead it turned into a morning of chaos for the veteran hurler. With Jackson AWOL, the Cubs had Blake Parker pitch the first inning. Once Jackson arrived, he was clearly not focused and when he entered later in the game, he was rocked for eight runs in 1.2 innings of work. Not exactly what you’re hoping for if you’re struggling to pin down the No. 5 spot in the rotation, even if you have two years and $22 million left on your contract and can clearly afford a car service or at least an iPhone 6S with an up-to-date Google Maps app to make sure you get where you need to be instead of ending up on the wrong side of the city or state………

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