NHL coaching bittermen, South Korean plastic surgery crime and Danny Brown v. Scotland

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- Dedication to one’s craft is an admirable thing. However, there is dedication and then there’s what a South Korean man with a criminal past may done to keep his illegal ways going. This unidentified con artist was already well-known by law enforcement before he went on a nine-month theft spree, but there was something different this time around. According to police in the city of Incheon, this criminal innovator may have undergone plastic surgery to alter his appearance, allowing him to embark upon his nine-month stealing spree with the sort of freedom he might not have enjoyed as his old self. In the course of those nine months, this busy felon allegedly stole cash and goods worth in excess of more than $479,000, which is a remarkable haul. He originally served time in prison for theft in 2005 and investigators believe he later had plastic surgery to change the structure of his jaw, and to stretch his limbs so he would appear taller. That’s right, dude actually tried the ol’ “stretch my arms and legs so I look taller trick,” the one cartoon and Saturday morning teen shows depicted by having characters hang from a bar in the closet with buckets of sand tied around their feet in an effort to make them taller. Eventfully police were able to identify the man despite his new appearance and he was arrested on March 23 for 87 counts of robbery across South Korea. The suspect proved to be less than a steel trap of secrets, as he caved and confessed to the recent string of robberies, admitting to police that he created his own tools to disable digital home locks. It sounds like the beginnings of a great movie script or basic cable drama, so let’s go ahead and open the bidding rights war now……….

- Note to the world: Detroit rapper Danny Brown is not a fan of staying hydrated. The hip-hop artist was expanding his brand globally with a show at the SWG3 venue in Glasgow, Scotland over the weekend and the show was going well enough, with a black American playing to a bunch of whiskey-loving Scots and neither side worrying about their immense cultural differences. Then, things went really wrong really quickly thanks to one fan, identified as "white, male and in his early to mid-twenties." This wet blanket either had a pint too many of cheap beer or was simply not a fan of Brown’s act because this ass hat lobbed a container of water – the exact nature of the container is disputed – at Brown, dotting him with the flying vessel of liquid refreshment. Some say the container was a water bottle, while other claim it was a pint glass. What isn't up for debate is that the water strike infuriated Brown, who stormed off the stage midway through his show and did not return. Afterward, it was reported that an incensed Brown said that he "would never play Glasgow again.” Amused fans noted that while the water thrower was to blame for the incident, Brown ended up looking bad because he gets on stage and raps about drugs, guns and violence, but the instant he was hit with the thrown water, he packed it in and left town. He’s known for high-energy, high-intensity live shows, but on that particular night fans got less than half of what they were expecting to see. Water bottles and other projectiles being hurled at performers is a common occurrence around the world across all genres of music and while walking off stage and not returning is bad, at least Brown didn’t embrace the common hip-hop response of looking for immediate retribution by turning his rings around and pummeling the guilty party himself……….

- Enough is enough, New Hampshire.  You don’t know when to quit and as a result, your state legislature had to break the mold for legislatures everywhere and actually show some restraint because you couldn’t do it. A state that already has an official tree, bird, dog, animal, insect, amphibian, butterfly, saltwater fish, freshwater fish, rock, mineral, gem and tartan has so many damn symbols that these already-empty emblems of nothingness have become more hollow than ever. Earlier this month, New Hampshire legislators took a lot of undeserved heat for torpedoing a group of fourth-graders' effort to name the red-tailed hawk the official state raptor, branding the attempt as frivolous and not only teaching these greedy brats a lesson, but also a new word in the process. The state representatives to turned this request away claimed their time would be better spent taking bribes, er, resolving important issues like budgets, taxes and education. State Rep. John Burt became the face of the resistance on this issue and during the hawk debate, he argued that lawmakers had more important work to do, sarcastically suggesting that the state would name an official hot dog. "It was to get a point across that if we have these bird bills, we have to stop these and tell the teacher, `I know you want to mean well and you want to encourage your kids and you should, but you shouldn't be taking up our precious time,"' Burt said of the request. Sadly, other states have an even larger number of state symbols, including Oklahoma, which has 45 state symbols including five separate state foods such as the state bean -- black eyed peas -- and six separate meals, including chicken fried steak. And people wonder what makes America great……….

- The positive, sunny demeanor with which some people approach life is simply a burst of encouragement and joy for everyone fortunate enough to know them. Washington Capitals coach Barry Trotz is not one of those people. Trotz could have been enthusiastic after his team - chasing a playoff berth – defeated the New Jersey Devils 3-2 when Evgeny Kuznetsov deflected in defenseman Matt Niskanen's shot 73 seconds into overtime. It was a key victory for a team sitting seventh in the Eastern Conference and in need of all the points it can get, the its coach was not impressed and tore into his team after the game. “I didn't think we had a real hard work ethic, weren't diligent on our responsibilities, and that was probably one of our sloppier games," Trotz said. "Our decision-making was poor. Our execution was poor. I'll say our resiliency and determination were average, at best. We had too many guys that weren't getting it done tonight." The “average at best” blast might be the best part of the whole  rant, although saying your team won because it "got two lucky goals" is also strong. Trotz, ever the head coach, went straight from ripping his team after a win to noting that the NHL's top teams are coming up on the schedule, with the Capitals hosting the Predators on Saturday, then playing at the Rangers on Sunday. "As I said to the guys," Trotz added, "if we play that way in the next two games, it won't be pretty for us." He isn't the first coach to act like his team got its ass kicked when it actually won, but Trotz did it better than most and his ability to be a world-class bitterman at a time when he should be happy that his squad earned three points and created a six-point buffer between it and the team in ninth place trying to jump up and snag a playoff spot from it is both impressive and slightly sad. Learn to find the positive in life and don’t be so angry all of the time, Barry. Like every other NHL coach, you’ll be fired after your team loses more than two games in a row and then, a win like this will look mighty appealing………

NBA exodus hate, movie news and Mexico leads the way

- So, about that whole eradicating racism thing…..Mississippi need some help. Not known as the most forward-thinking state in the union at any point since the Civil War, the Hospitality State now has another incident of hate and bigotry from which it must recover. Thanks for that fact goes to a former University of Mississippi student who has been indicted on federal charges connected to a noose being put on a statue of the student who integrated the school. Because of the whole hate crime angle, the Justice Department is involved in the situation, which saw a noose and a former Georgia flag that prominently featured the Confederate battle emblem placed on the James Meredith statue on the Ole Miss campus in Oxford. Those who know the state’s ugly history will recall that back in 1962, anti-integration protests erupted into violence and Meredith had to be escorted by armed federal agents as he enrolled under court order as the first black student at the university. Graeme Phillip Harris of Alpharetta, Georgia, has been indicted on one count of conspiracy to violate civil rights and one count of using a threat of force to intimidate African-American students because of their race or color and the Justice Department hit it on the nose in announcing his indictment. "This shameful and ignorant act is an insult to all Americans and a violation of our most strongly-held values," Attorney General Eric Holder. Pretty much, E. Harris is a white hatemonger who was also an Ole Miss student when the noose was placed on the statue and sadly, the man depicted in the statue is still alive to see this awful act. "I think Mississippi is better than that. If it's not better than that, it should be made better than that,” Meredith said of the crime. Yes, it definitely should be………..

- Some professional athletes return to cities where they used to play and receive warm receptions for all they did they and the relationships they built within the community. Oklahoma City Thunder center Enes Kanter isn't really the warm-and-fuzzy type and seems to prefer napalming the bridges behind him rather than keeping a positive vibe for when he comes back to his old town. As he returned to Salt Lake City to play against his former team, Kanter could not wait to talk about how much he loves his new home and how miserable he was playing for the Utah Jazz. "I love it," Kanter said. "It's a team I've never experienced before and I actually like playing basketball there. I'm just so comfortable and everything is in the right place. I'm just really happy to be there. I think the difference is, I like playing basketball there." What he  doesn’t seem to have loved is the people of Salt Lake City, who booed him lustily during introductions and every time he touched the ball. Perhaps enjoying the role of a villain, Kanter even egged on the crowd before the game and said after the fact that he never really felt at home in Utah. "I didn't really care. I like pressure, the boos didn't mean nothing to me," Kanter said. "It was just a regular game. I never felt like I was a part of this thing, so it was just a regular game. We came and we leave and that is it. I am not taking nothing back." Wow…shots fired. Kanter delivered 18 points and 11 rebounds in a 94-89 loss to the Jazz and has been an offensive stalwart for the Thunder, so maybe a fresh start was truly what he needed……….

- Look at you Mexico, ahead of the curve and putting the rest of the world’s industrial powers to shame by becoming the first developing nation to submit pollutant reduction goals for next fall's Paris climate change talks. As the nations prepare to get together in the City of Lights and see all of the sights in between posh cocktail receptions and swanky parties while occasionally finding time to address the subject matter that (allegedly) will have brought them all together, Mexico is setting the pace by pledging to cut greenhouse gas and black carbon emissions 25 percent by 2030. That potentially hollow promise was hailed by tree huggers and foreign governments alike and seeking to gravy train some of Mexico’s positive momentum, the United States announced plans for the two countries to soon launch a "high-level bilateral clean energy and climate change policy task force." That two-nation wrecking crew will focus on "clean energy, grid modernizations, appliance standards and energy efficiency" as well as more fuel-efficient vehicle fleets. For those who don’t know, black carbon is essentially soot produced by burning wood, dung, coal and some diesel fuels. Mexico isn't as big a polluter as many of the countries that will take part in the Nov. 30-Dec. 11 climate conference in Paris, but perhaps setting the bar high will inspire the bigger nations in the mix to adjust their aim and try to mitigate their substantial impact on our collective ecosystem………

- An animated alien can be a recipe for box office success and for “Home,” it was a winner in the film’s debut to the tune of $54 million. That leaves it well short of its $135 million budget, but there’s still time. The news was better for Will Ferrell’s largely panned “Get Hard,” which rode a wave of ridiculousness to an impressive $34.6 million debut and with a $40 million budget, it’s well on its way to profitability. “The Divergent Series: Insurgent” fell two spots to third place in its second weekend of release, adding $22.1 million to its domestic haul for a running total of $86.4 million. It was a banner third week for “Cinderella,” which added a fourth-place finish and $17.5 million to its resume and has banked a whopping $150 million and counting. The biggest jump of the week belonged to “It Follows,” which rose 14 spots to fifth place with $4 million and has done $4.8 million in business in three weeks of über-limited release. “Kingsman: The Secret Service” claimed sixth place this time around and after accruing another $3 million, the action flick has a total of $119.4 million in seven weeks domestically. The fall was four spots for “Run All Night” in its third week of release, with a $2.3 million haul taking its unimpressive tally to $23.8 million. Eighth place went to “The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” which snared $2.2 million and has nearly tripled its $10 million budget with $28.1 million in domestic money in a month in theaters. “Do You Believe?” found enough believers for a $2.1 million second weekend and $7 million in cumulative domestic earnings. The final top 10 spot went to “The Gunman” with $2 million and the wildly disappointing flick has a mere $8.8 million in two terrible weeks. “Focus” (No. 11) and “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” (No. 14) both lost their top spots from last week………

Soccer is still soccer, A$AP Mob's no good week and Burger King's fragrance

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- Men, get an early jump on Mother’s Day and order now. It’s going to take a while for the perfect gift to get to your door, but express shipping options are available and this is the sort of situation where you need to take advantage of them. When else is a major international chain fast food eatery going to offer up a pungent, nostril-stinging scent modeled after its best-known slab of flame-grilled beef? Enter Burger King, which is going big on the international hamburger fragrance scene by debuting a limited-edition perfume themed after its famed Whopper. The timing of the speical offer is a bit dubious, as it will be offered for a mere 24 hours on April Fool's Day and that is the domain of amateurish, dumbass and just plain ass-hatted losers who think whoopee cushions and gluing coffee mugs to desks is hilarious just because the calendar reads April 1. If this offer it legit, Japanese shoppers will be able to buy the new Flame-Grilled Fragrance for 5,000 yen (about $41) and they’ll get a free Whopper in the process. It’s a similar stunt to the one Burger King pulled a few years back in the United States with the fragrance Flame, which was touted as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." Yes, because when one thinks of sexiness and seduction, mental images of pimple-faced teenagers wearing grease-smattered aprons and non-slip kitchen shoes serving up fatty fast food on plastic trays is the first thing to come to mind. Act now because getting in on this offer from another country could be tricky………

- Italy is a popular destination, but not only for tourists. The Mediterranean nation is still a hotspot for international travelers looking to see the Cistine Chapel and Leaning Tower of Pisa, but it’s apparently also the trendy new place to go if you’re a displaced or mere disillusioned African resident who believes that fleeing across the sea on a makeshift vessel to a place where you don’t speak the language or understand anything about the culture is what you need to achieve the life of your dreams. Italy is now stumbling under the weight of a massive number of illegal immigrants and is also registering a record number of political asylum requests filed from migrant holding centers where would-be refugees are hoping that their cases are accepted. Refugees have long passed through Italy en route to northern European countries where more established migrant communities offer better job opportunities, but perhaps the warmer climates of southern Europe are looking more appealing these days. According to the United Nations’ refugee agency, the number of asylum requests submitted in Italy rose 148 percent in 2014 over the previous year, far surpassing Italy's previous all-time high in 2011 when some 40,000 people sought refugee status in fleeing the ravages of the Arab Spring. With those numbers, Italy shot up the chart to No. 5 in the rankings of countries for asylum requests after Germany, the U.S., Turkey and Sweden. Who are these border crashers Syrians and Eritreans are the most common nationalities of people arriving by boat on Italian shores, while the top asylum-seekers in Italy in 2014 were instead from Mali, with 9,800 requests, followed by Nigeria and Gambia. Keep dreaming, better-life seekers……….

- Seriously, soccer? Euro 2016 is supposed to choose Europe’s best teams to compete for one of the sport’s many, many wildly overrated and overhyped trophies on a continent that is maniacal about the sport, but so far its strongest trait has been its ability to bring out the hooliganism and ugliness that marks soccer’s stained reputation around the world. First, a match between Serbia and Albania was abandoned after a drone carrying a political banner was flown into the stadium and sparked a riot involving fans and players. Last week, the sport returned to the sort of direct, pyrotechnic-based assault that has become its hallmark in recent years when Russia's match at Montenegro was abandoned in the 67th minute after the referee stopped play following a second crowd disturbance. The first of two ugly incident came shortly after kickoff when Russian goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev appeared to be struck by a lit road flare fired from the stands. Hurling burning sticks of sulfur from the stands is kind of soccer’s thing, but Akinfeev was taken to the local hospital in the Montenegrin capital Podgorica, where he was seen on a stretcher and wearing a neck brace and his departure was just the first of a pair of incidents that reminded the rest of the world why soccer sucks. Sure, play resumed after about 35 minutes and in true soccer fashion is was scoreless in the 67th minute when Roman Shirokov's penalty was saved by Montenegro goalkeeper Vukasin Poleksic, setting up a scene in which a Russian player was dotted by a thrown obejct when he wentto retrive the ball on the sideline. The player showed the object to referee Deniz Aytekin, who stopped the match a second time, this one for good. Europe’s governing body for soccer is investigating, but at least Akinfeev seems to have dodged any serious injuries from this crap. Police arrested the Montenegro fan who threw the flare, but with soccer there will always be another drunken hooligan waiting to take up the flare-throwing mantle……….

- Take a rowdy rap group, amped-up fans fueled by lots of overpriced alcohol and jam them into a crowded theater and sooner or later, sh*t is bound to happen. Maybe Tammy Nguyen should have known that before she attended a performance by A$AP Mob at the Fonda Theater in Hollywood back in 2013 and maybe she did know, but was so drunk she forgot, because she’s now looking to squeeze the hip-hop outfit for a crowd surfing incident that left her with serious injuries. What no one is disputing is that the evening’s festivities saw Mob members and fans crowd surfing throughout the event. What’s up for debate is that when A$AP Ferg leapt from the stage, he hit Nguyen, who also claims security did not help her exit the venue. She is therefore suing the group and Ferg, real name Darold Ferguson, Jr., asking for unspecified damages that probably account for much more than the medical bills she allegedly incurred as a result of her alleged injuries. This is all hitting a courtroom at a sad time for the group, which is wrestling with the news that the death of A$AP Mob founding member A$AP Yams was ruled to have been accidentally caused by an acute mixed drug intoxication. Yams, who was instrumental in the formation of the rap collective in 2007, passes away in January and was known to have major issues with drugs. He was found in his Brooklyn apartment by fellow A$AP members, laying in a vomit-covered bed. All in all, a tough week for a renegade crew and one they’d just as soon forget……….

Spring training should be over, Turkey cracks down and Alfred Hitchcock's spirit lives in Florida

- Alfred Hitchcock, your spirit lives on in central Florida. At least it lives at the 30-acre Wells Park in Melbourne, where some homicidal birds are chasing, dive-bombing and menacing people and disrupting traffic. This menagerie of avian offenders includes ducks, geese, ibis, seagulls and other birds that flock to the park and these predators are losing their fear of people and proving that maybe the state’s proclivity for firearms anywhere it can make it legal to take them hasn’t gone quite far enough. Part of the problem – and this is focused mostly on you, friendless old people with your bags of stale bread and far too much free time – is park visitors who feed the birds, emboldening the animals to seek handouts from anyone who sets foot inside its green confines. This week, workers installed 'Feeding Wildlife Prohibited' sign and the problem hit home for city manager Mike McNees, who said he was chased by three white geese during a run in the park this week. McNees had difficulty fending off the birds and is worried that an elderly person or child might not have the wherewithal to fight off an angry bird. Parks manager Steve Graham knows that feeding the ducks is a popular past time, but said the problem has gotten out of control and despite the objections of some friendless old timers who say the feeding ban is unfair, Graham is right. It’s either you stop feeding the ducks or else it’s time to send out some park rangers with rifles to take care of this problem, senior citizens. Your call………..

- NWA want you to know that they are not a bunch of foul-mouth misogynists. They have an upcoming biopic about their legendary existence and Dr. Dre wants the world to know that the dudes portraying them on the big screen will not be depicting guys who, despite their violent lyrics, don’t respect women and treat them right. Dr. Dre and Eazy-E are played by newcomers Corey Hawkins and Jason Mitchell in the movie, while Ice Cube's son O'Shea Jackson Jr. portrays his father. Interestingly, Dre said he initially was against doing the movie, but agreed once he realized that it could be a chance to change people’s perceptions of NWA. "We really wanted to get across, one of the things, was how we feel about women because there's a big misconception, how much we respect our women,” Dre said. “Cube actually quarterbacked it. He went out and got the first draft for the script done. I read it and was like, 'OK, we can work with this. We can turn this into something.’” Here’s hoping that message of appreciating and treasuring women shines through because there simply aren’t enough rap outfits who truly promote the kind love of their b’otches. In addition, Dre said he is also working on a record deal inspired by the movie, making it another chance to grab some cash out of a project that he says made him “a little emotional” while he was on set. For anyone who goes to see this film, make sure to pay attention for how well women are treated in it……… 

- Get ready for more of Johnny Law up in your bidness, Turkey. The corrupt scumbags you elected to parliament have approved a controversial security bill giving police heightened powers to search, arrest and use firearms, trampling the voices of opposition parties who say the government is leading Turkey toward authoritarianism. It’s an accurate claim and yet, it could not matter less in a country where tolerance for dissenting views is about as low as the ratings for your average new NBC sitcom a few weeks into the fall TV season. Not only is this bill discomfiting for anyone who isn't a government sycophant, it is also a major setback for a Kurdish peace process aimed at ending an insurgency that has killed tens of thousands of people. Now, police can use guns, search people or vehicles and detain individuals for up to 48 hours without court authorization. With a police force that seems to have no scruples or integrity whatsoever, that is a scary expansion of authority that looks set to end badly, especially for the very opposition groups who opposed the bill and can now be targeted without restraint by a police force with an ax to grind. Oh, and this overreaching law will also give governors — not just prosecutors and judges — the right to order arrests. If that isn't circumventing the spirit of the law, then nothing is. The opposition law promised to take the measure to Turkey's Constitutional Court seeking its overturn and given that a few opposition lawmakers literally started in-chamber brawls during debate over the bill, maybe there’s hope yet…………

- Spring training has gone on just about long enough for Major League Baseball teams. You can always tell when a squad has gotten in enough work to get ready for the year ahead and it has nothing to do with the pitcher making sure to cover at first base on a slow roller to the right side of the infield or the center fielder hitting the cutoff on his relay throw from the warning track. No, it’s much simpler and more juvenile than that; it centers on 3,000-pound automobiles and police officers entering the clubhouse toting three returned home run balls from a game the previous day. Enter the Cleveland Indians, a darkhorse pick in the American League Central and the clubhouse leader in goofy pranks on their own. First, manager Terry Francona had a Goodyear police officer come to the locker room the day after a loss to the Chicago Cubs and return the three pieces of evidence – i.e. home run balls served up – that pitcher Trevor Bauer allowed to leave the yard. But that was just an appetizer and the players turned their wacky hijinks on one of their own later in the week as they got some sweet retribution on shortstop Jose Ramirez, who apparently has an annoying habit of parking wherever he wants in the players’ lot. To get some payback, his teammates took his shiny BMW and put it where the sun really shines. When the players took the field for practice, that BMW was parked at the No. 6 position in the infield dirt. It was a not-so-subtle message about respecting the sanctity of the parking lot and those weird little lines segmenting it up. "I just saw his car parked a little far from the curb. It was a little awkward and there were a lot of spaces around," veteran infielder Mike Aviles said. "We just figured we would park it somewhere a little more comfortable. Hey, he parks anywhere so you might as well park it in a comfortable spot. When you park it anywhere, what's the difference between the field and the parking lot?" Ah, the MLB equivalent of taking apart the principal’s car, carrying it into the school in pieces and reassembling it in the middle of the gym for all too see first thing on a Friday morning. Baseball, you done done it again……….

Bank robberies in a taxi, Henry Rollins goes boring and high-class Romanian corruption

- In case you were wondering, Major League Soccer is really still Minor League Soccer. While American soccer fans – both of them – keep on trying to pretend that soccer is about to become a legit major sport in this country, the facts would suggest that MLS isn't on the verge of taking down La Liga or the English Premier League any time soon as a viable destination for legit international stars. Cue Barcelona midfielder Xavi Hernandez, who has agreed to a three-year contract with Qatari club Al Sadd rather than take an offer from MLS. Hernandez is set to receive a salary of approximately $15 million and will study for his coaching licenses during his time in Qatar at the Aspire Academy, joining his new team at the end of the season and replacing former Real Madrid star Raul. Anyone who thought that a star, even an aged-out one with maybe a viable season or two left in him, would sign with MLS was begging, even though New York City FC coach Jason Kreis called Hernandez "one of the best players in the world" during a news conference this week. Kreis conceded that he was unsure how he would fit in with the club if they were to make him an offer, but could have been trying to soften the blow because he knew it wasn’t going to happen. "When you think about a player like Xavi Hernandez, for me one of the best players in the world ever, a big, big fan of his, you say to yourself on one side there's no doubt a player like that would be great at New York City," Kreis said. "But when you look at it from another point of view and you say you only get three [Designated Players] and we've already got another one that plays in the midfield and you've got a third one in David Villa whose all relative age are getting up there, you start to think maybe not.” No worries, Jay. Your league is still an afterthought for the world’s best………..

- While you might be able to blame Romania's former finance minister for being a corrupt scoundrel, you have to at least give dude credit for having impeccable taste in the bribes he accepts – allegedly. Darius Valcov is suspected of accepting a Renoir painting, gold bars and cash as bribes and while that might seem appalling to the average person, there is some comfort in knowing that if you’re going to blatantly abuse your power and authority for monetary gain, at least you’re not doing it for some knockoff art and a used Subaru. The High Court for Cassation and Justice ruled that Valcov should be placed under house arrest pending a probe into whether he received 2 million euros ($2.1 million) of bribes during his apparently extremely lucrative stint as mayor of a southern town. If you believe prosecutors, Valcov hid the painting, 6.6 pounds of gold and stashes of cash worth $410,000 in a friend's safe from 2011 and after leaving his post as mayor of Slatina in 2012 after eight years in office, he ascended to his new position and tried to pretend that the whole “give me gifts in exchange for favorable treatment” thing never happened. Unfortunately for him, Romanian prosecutors have launched a series of high-level corruption investigations in the past year and they aren't limiting the scope of their work to the past year or two years. The only consolation here for a man being placed under house arrest and who resigned as finance minister on March 15 is that from the sounds of it, Valcov is going to be kicking it in some very comfortable and stylish digs………

- Why the hell would anyone pay to see an iconic, hardcore punk rock lead singer….talk? Former Black Flag frontman Henry Rollins is hoping lots of British folks will do exactly that when he launches an eight-city spoken word tour beginning in January. The Charmingly Obstinate tour will take place in January 2016 and see Rollins appear at eight venues throughout the United Kingdom, beginning with a show at Bristol's St. George’s Hall on Jan. 10. Rollins, whose former band was renowned for its politically minded and socially charged lyrics and stances on issues and brought a relentless, rage-filled approach to the stage and studio in carving out a definite niche for itself on the hardcore punk scene over the years, will also make stops in Newcastle, Manchester, Birmingham and London before finishing up at Glasgow Academy on Jan. 18. While a spoken word tour might seem like a snooze fest for a guy who once had groupies throwing their undergarments at him on stage, don’t rule out the possibility of some killer most pits on this tour. When Rollins starts stringing together propositions, adjectives and adverbs and mixing in some strongly worded rebukes, you know that elbows are gonna be flying and bodies will be slamming into one another in the pit. Just to be safe, maybe venue officials should cut off alcohol sales midway through the night just to be sure things don’t get too far out of hand………

- Being a bank robber on a budget is a hard life. When you can't afford the high-end tools and accessories of your more successful peers and you don’t have access to a bitchin’ getaway car or even a friend with a 1994 Toyota Camry that has less than 200,000 miles on it, you’re left with unpalatable options when you want to pull off a heist of your neighborhood banking establishment. That kind of pressure can drive a man to drink, perhaps a man like 47-year-old Florida resident Stanley Geddie. Geddie was a man with a plan this week, but unfortunately hit plan sucked. First, he prepared for his attempt to rob the Capital City Bank in Tallahassee, Florida by climbing as deep as possible into a bottle of something strong. Once he was sufficiently soused, he then got to work. His first step was to hail a taxi to take him to the bank, who seems like a bad idea and probably should still seem bad even to someone who’s blood-alcohol content is well north of the legal limit. Credit for not driving drunk AND trying to rob a bank, but if you’re going to attempt it, then it’s best to not leave your cabbie out front with an unpaid $25.50 fare to collect. That cabbie is going nowhere and even if you think your drunken demands for $100,000 from a bank manager are going to work out, there’s a good chance that cabbie is going to call the cops on your ass. Inside the bank, Geddie demanded his money and claimed he had a .357 handgun and C4 plastic explosives. The arriving officers were alerted to the situation by the cabbie and found Geddie in the bank manager's office, appearing "very intoxicated and spaced out." He was arrested and charged with robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer and amazingly, he also rang up two probation violations. Now THAT is a hell of a hangover……...

Google Maps v. MLB stars, branding your frat bros and porn stars on "True Detective"

- Keep it intolerant, authorities in Myanmar. You could have chosen to look at the heroes who dared to rise up and take part in peaceful protests against a new education law as people exercising their basic human rights to make their voices heard. Of course, this is Myanmar and so there is no way in hell that was going to happen. Instead, these authoritative ass hats have filed criminal charges against 69 student activists and their supporters who were arrested two weeks ago when police cracked down on those protests. It’s easy to root for the dissident rock stars who remained defiant as they sang songs and waved at family and supporters when they were brought in prison vans from Tharyarwaddy prison to Letpadan court to have these bogus charges against them read in open court. Said bogus charges against the group involve five different counts ranging from hurting a public servant, which carries a maximum penalty of 3 years, to being a member of an unlawful assembly, which carries a 6-month prison sentence. The day’s sham legal festivities could have been even by absurdly grandiose, as police had detained 127 people altogether after the harsh crackdown ended the weeklong standoff on March 10, but about 60 people – including 28 students and 10 Buddhist monks - were freed earlier. Even so, 69 people was more than enough to drive home the point that the government has its collective head driven so far up its executive ass that its colon should be named the regime’s official spokesperson. Here’s hoping even more protestors rise up in support of those currently being put through the meat grinder in the name of oppression…………

- Sometimes, you just need a professional for the job. The producers of HBO’s hit drama “True Detective” know it and it’s why their casting choices for the second season of the show have skewed well outside the mainstream and into the world where failed actresses seeking rent money to extend their stay in Los Angeles by a month end up in Chatsworth lying on their backs on a filthy mattress in an abandoned warehouse, taking it from a stranger on camera. Yes, “True Detective” has gone porn, at least for what is being deemed an over-the-top, sprawling orgy scene that will see dozens of participants involved in the mayhem. At the center of that sexual sh*t storm will be two women who know well what it feels like to be paid to be filmed while having sex while multiple partners for the benefit of high-definition cameras. They would be porn stars Amia Miley and Peta Jensen, who have been cast for the orgy scene through an extras casting service. You do have to give these ladies credit for branching out from the professional sex fakers scene to quasi-legitimate dramatic acting, but you also have to wonder whether dudes who recognize either Miley or Jensen while watching the show with their significant others will actually be able to hide where they recognize the women from. Stars Colin Farrell and Rachel McAdams were also on set during the filming of the massive sex scene and one has to imagine that with Ferrell’s past and proclivity for wild times with all manner of drugs, booze and loose women, he had to enjoy having a pair of porn stars on set to liven up what was already a widely anticipated second run for the show……..

- At least this fraternity scandal doesn’t involve any sort of racism or sexual assault, but that’s about all you can say for the Dartmouth College chapter of Alpha Delta. Its members belong to a fraternity with a history of hazing and alcohol violations, but the brothers have apparently gone from forcing massive amounts of cheep beer down the throats of young pledges with funnels and plastic tubing to turning them into makeshift farm animals. While still under suspension last fall, the fraternity known for partly inspiring the 1978 movie "Animal House” allegedly broke out the branding iron to welcome new members to the fold. If that’s what these bros were doing while under suspension, just imagine what they did when they were still on the right side of the law. Oh wait, there’s no need to imagine, not with their lengthy record of disciplinary violations, including hazing, serving alcohol to minors and hosting unregistered parties. College spokesman Justin Anderson said the most recent allegations stem from incidents last fall but refused to discuss g how many students may have been branded or what they may have been branded with. Prior to its suspension, the fraternity was on double super secret probation for three years, but they earned their temporary ban by hosting an unregistered party for about 70 people in August and for a March 2014 party that featured rum, whiskey and other liquor without having a designated server or someone checking IDs. That sort of behavior used to be known simply as college before the world went soft, but now it’s cause for the hammer of justice to come thundering down. The suspension was supposed to end March 29, but Anderson said Dartmouth is extending it and considering harsher punishment, including a possible death sentence for fraternity if the allegations are founded. That would end an historic run that includes two students who were seriously injured when they fell off Alpha Delta's roof in 2011 more instances of serving alcohol to minors than you can tally following a frat dude on Instagram………

- Memo to Chicago Cubs starter Edwin Jackson: Be sure to update your apps more regularly and be glad you use Google Maps and not Appl’s crappy native maps app for its iPhone. Jackson, who hasn’t exactly set the world afire during his time with the Cubs, fell victim to the wonders of technology on Tuesday when he made the mistake of relying on his phone’s mapping abilities to get home to his team’s road game against the Oakland A’s. He was the scheduled starter for the afternoon contest, but showed up too late to start because Google Maps sent him to the wrong ballpark. “I actually put it in Google Maps and typed in ‘Oakland Athletics spring training complex,’” Jackson said. “It took me to the old one. I know, it’s crazy, but, yeah, that pretty much sums it up. A crazy, crazy way to start a day.” All of this could have been avoided if Jackson had simply ridden the team bus, but in spring training, starters sometimes drive to away games if they’re nearby and leave once their few innings on the field are over. Jackson actually left before the team bus and wound up at Phoenix Municipal Stadium, which is now home to the Arizona State University baseball team. The venue he was supposed to go to, Sloan Park, is 3.6 miles away from Hohokam Stadium, which the Cubs call home. The drive from Mesa to Sloan Park should take a few minutes, but instead it turned into a morning of chaos for the veteran hurler. With Jackson AWOL, the Cubs had Blake Parker pitch the first inning. Once Jackson arrived, he was clearly not focused and when he entered later in the game, he was rocked for eight runs in 1.2 innings of work. Not exactly what you’re hoping for if you’re struggling to pin down the No. 5 spot in the rotation, even if you have two years and $22 million left on your contract and can clearly afford a car service or at least an iPhone 6S with an up-to-date Google Maps app to make sure you get where you need to be instead of ending up on the wrong side of the city or state………

"American Horror" story forges on, Dutch horse meef charades and Jim Harbaugh's honesty

- You never want to convict a person for a crime before they are formally tried in a court of law or label that person with a critical designation if they have yet to serve a day behind bars for their alleged misdeeds. Having said that, Rock Hill, South Carolina resident Michael Mobley is a skeevy pedophile and he should be locked up for as long as legally possible and forced to wear a neon yellow jumpsuit with the words “SEX OFFENDER” printed over every square in as soon as he’s released back into society. That’s what you need when you are found peeping at girls from behind bushes at a school bus stop with a “To Catch a Predator”-worthy stockpile of a stolen gun, a pair of latex gloves, yellow rope, three condoms and a box cutter in your possession. Police in Rock Hill apprehended this sick freak after a call came in regarding a suspicious man seen lurking in the bushes near the bus stop. Officers were dispatched to the scene and when they tried to approach Mobley, he said he was waiting for friends who lived nearby. When asked if he was carrying any weapons, he did the sensible thing and tried to flee the scene. It didn’t take long to run him down and when officers took him to the ground, he admitted to having a gun. Mobley now faces multiple charges and is jailed with bond set at $70,000, but the good news is that it’s not as if there is a mountain of evidence and multiple witnesses against him. Here’s hoping this despicable deviant finds exactly the sort of new friends he deserves once he arrives in cell block D………..

- It’s refreshing to hear a vastly overpaid public university employee admit that he isn't worth nearly the massive salary his school chips him off each year. Wait, no it’s not. It’s an infuriating reminder that a college football coach gets way too much money for directing student-athletes in playing a game so that fans, alumni and other students can sit in a cramped stadium and scream their heads off even though at the end of the day, the outcome of that game means absolutely nothing in the greater scheme of life. So no props for new Michigan Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh for owning the fact that the seven-year deal worth up to $38.1 million that he inked this offseason to coach his alma mater is far too much for a simple college football coach. When asked if he is worth that kind of money, he bluntly answered, "No." "I'm not doing five times as much work as somebody else or doing more work than someone who's not the head football coach at the University of Michigan so, to answer your question, honestly, I would have to say no," Harbaugh said. The sad thing is that if he can help turn around a program that won just five games last season and has not beaten arch rival Ohio State since 2011, maybe even turning them into a national title contender, wealthy Michigan boosters would be happy to dole out eight figures annually to ensure the happiness and permanent Ann Arbor residence of their new coach. Just don’t expect Harbaugh to give a cent of his $7.6 million in annual pay back because he won't be doing so. "Naw," he said. "I like making a buck just like the next guy." Thanks for the honesty, Jimbo……….

- There are just some evil people out there in the world and they exist even in the fourth-happiest country on Earth. The Netherlands are a place of liberality, legalized pot, legalized prostitution and lots of pretty tulips. Yet the country also known as Holland is also home to the owner of a Dutch meat processing plant who is accused of selling horse meat as beef and who is now facing a five-year prison sentence for his culinary crimes. Prosecutors accused Willy Selten of mixing horse meat with beef "on a large scale" in 2011 and 2012, but it wasn’t until a 2013 investigation as a scandal involving horse meat sold as beef swept Europe that Selten’s alleged misdeeds came to light. At a trial in the city of Den Bosch, prosecutors claimed in a written statement that Selten deserved imprisonment because his alleged fraud "damaged the Netherlands' reputation as a meat-exporting nation." And if you didn’t know that the Netherlands HAD a reputation as a meat-exporting nation, then….well….consider your self in good company. Selten is accused of being a "master of misinformation" who falsified documents to cover up selling cheap horse meat as beef, but he has denied any such actions and will leave his fate up to the court, which is set to deliver its verdict in two weeks. Maybe in the event that Selten is found guilty, he can also be forced to issue a public apology to everyone who chowed down on a Secretariat burger when they thought they were biting into a hunk of Grade-A, top-notch beef……….

- While fan favorite Jessica Lange won't be back for the fifth season of FX’s hit series “American Horror Story,” fans of the murderous drama will have plenty of A-list talent upon which to feast their eyes in the weeks ahead. Not only will pop hack Lady Gaga be a part of the show, but so will Chloe Sevigny, who played sex addict Shelley in Season 2 of the horror anthology series, titled “Asylum.” She will step in as a to-be-fleshed-out series regular role for “American Horror Story: Hotel” and co-creator Ryan Murphy and his team are trying to keep tight wraps on the specifics of the season. However, Matt Bomer (The Normal Heart, White Collar), Wes Bentley (American Beauty, The Hunger Games) and Cheyenne Jackson (30 Rock, Behind The Candelabra) have all been confirmed as additions to the cast and the word on the street is that veteran actress Kathy Bates will be part of the mix too following increasingly large roles in the third and fourth seasons of the show. Each season of AHS introduces a new setting and characters, but there are always a few holdovers to provide some continuity to the process. Much like “True Detective,” the central focus seems to be on packing each individual season as full of big-name stars as possible and hoping that pushing the reset button on the storytelling process isn't enough to convince fans to lose interest in one of their favorite shows…….

Heroin is still the devil, Eddie Sheeran has a label and more empty NFL gestures

- Nobody does hollow, allegedly magnanimous gestures quite like the NFL. A league whose profit margin is trending near 11 figures annually and who metes out justice using a wholly arbitrary, self-serving and blown-by-the-winds-of-popular-opinion standard can afford to toss out a few gold coins that are actually made of cheap chocolate wrapped in tin foil in order to placate the masses. For example, say you have a draconian policy of blacking out games in a team’s home market unless fans of that team agree to pay blackmail-esque sums of money to park and attend said games to the point that every seat in the taxpayer-funded-whether-they-like-it-or-not stadium is filled. You won't allow whichever network would normally televise the game to do so if all of the tickets aren't bought by an artificial pregame deadline and the idea is that you refuse to allow loyal fans to sit home and watch the game on their giant flatscreen using whatever cable or satellite provider they pay hundreds of dollar for a month and which chip off part of their wealth for the right to carry NFL games. But what’s that on the horizon? Why, it’s NFL owners – i.e. 32 rich, white old dudes – munificently voting to suspend the league's local TV blackout policy for the 2015 season. The blackouts will be suspended for preseason and regular-season games, which is especially good in the preseason, when no one – players included – gives a damn who wins or loses. The league plans to evaluate the move after the season and the hollowness of this gesture is perhaps best illustrated by the fact that there were no local blackouts during the 2014 regular season and only two of them in 2013……….

- No amount of dissent, regardless of how small it may be, will be tolerated in Russia. If you should doubt that for any reason – and ask Ukraine if you do – then take a closer look at disputes involving Volkswagen and Peugeot factories in the Communist hell hole. There, 15 members of a union protesting proposed layoffs at a Volkswagen plant in the central Russian city Kaluga were taken into custody by The Man, according to Dmitry Trudovoi of the MPRA union. Trudovoi claimed that the 15 were detained while meeting at the union's office and unjustly held for around two hours and questioned about union activities by police from an "anti-extremism" unit. Yes, because there is nothing more extreme than a bunch of Russian auto workers who are probably drunk off their ass on account of not working and having both time and reasons to indulge in some vodka chugging, so it’s best you break their will before they break the law. Police spun the detainment another way, claiming just 12 activists were held as part of an investigation into a theft near the union office. A theft? Of what, a couple of Swingline staplers and some metallic gold Sharpie markers? This clearly has nothing to do with the union and its members at the Kaluga-based plant and a Peugeot and Citroen plant nearby daring to stand up against proposed layoffs. Trudovoi smartly accused the police of trying to disrupt his union's activities to prevent politically embarrassing street protests, or as Vladimir Putin calls them, the next reason to ship people off to the gulag……….

- If you hit a home run on your first swing, it’s time to demand your chance to manage your own team, right Ed Sheeran? After scoring big with the first new artist he discovered and decided to develop on his own, Sheeran has inked a deal with Warner Music Group to create a label to launch new acts. His first big signing was singer-songwriter Passenger, who had a worldwide hit and eventual commercial jingle with “Let Her Go.” With that kind of ammunition, Sheeran had the momentum he needed to launch his own label. "I've set up my first record label, it's called Gingerbread and [British singer-songwriter] Jamie Lawson is my first signing. I wanted Australia to be the launch pad because Australia is a country that I feel would really really dig Jamie." Sheeran said while on tour in Australia. "I'm going to focus on this when I'm on tour next year. Hopefully the acts will be up and running by the time I take time off." He admitted that the first time he seriously considered the possibility of having his own label was when he spent two years on tour with Passenger, a.k.a. Michael David Rosenberg, after which he took Rosenberg’s album to his own label and “they didn’t get it.” He didn’t pursue the idea any further, but when Passenger became an indie rock hit around the globe, he thought again. “After that, everyone was like, 'Maybe Ed does know what he's talking about,'” Sheeran added. His plan for a label is predicated upon the idea that there are many artists out there who are more talented than he is, but haven’t found the chance to shine. With his own relentless touring schedule and social media, Sheeran is confident he can put the names of those talented artists up in lights where they belong and ensure that they get their big break. He isn't the first recording artist to have this same thought and some of his predecessors have actually been successful……….

- Any doubt that heroin is the devil in powder form should now be erased. Drugs have long driven addicts to do irrational, illogical and immoral things in the name of their next high, but rock bottom for any junkie is reverting to the evil of human trafficking as a means for financing a plastic baggie of the good stuff. That’s precisely what an Ohio woman did to earn herself an indictment on charges she trafficked her 11-year-old daughter for heroin. Read that sentence again and dry heave right where you are and then we can move on. All good? Then meet April Corcoran, who has been indicted on 27 counts, including human trafficking, endangering children and complicity. As Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters tells is, Corcoran would take her daughter to Shandell Willingham in exchange for drugs, then leave her with him and come back later. Maybe she thought Willingham was helping her daughter with the child’s math homework or watching reruns of “Hannah Montana” with her, right? Right? Because the alternative is that this sick freak and drug degenerate knew Willingham was committing statutory rape on her 11-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER and she was cool with it because it meant she could get high. Willingham is headed for some legal hell as well and has been indicted on 26 counts, including rape, gross sexual imposition and human trafficking. What a job it’s going to be for Corcoran's attorney, James Bogen, and the best he could do was saying he's gathering the facts of the case. Deters says the girl is now staying with her father and stepmother as she begins what will probably be years of counseling and attempting to heal from the horrible mental and emotional scars that have been inflicted on her by the woman who was supposed to love her more than anything else in the world………

Bill Murray v. Rick Ross, Sierra Leone implodes and Alaskan ganja fun

- Fish in a barrel, Anchorage Police Department, fish in a freaking barrel. Raiding Alaskan marijuana activist Charlo Greene's Alaska Cannabis Club after receiving reports of illegal marijuana sales is a bit like pulling over Snoop Dogg’s tour bus because you may have heard rumors of illegal substances being smoked inside. For those who think they recognize Greene’s name but aren’t quite sure who she is because she’s really not that relevant, she’s a former television reporter who gained notoriety when she quit her job on live TV in September with an expletive and announced that she would become an advocate to legalize the recreational use of marijuana in Alaska. Greene, whose legal name is Charlene Egbe, now has a place where she invites stoners, er, medical marijuana users to come and enjoy their shared love of the hippie lettuce. "We don't sell any recreational marijuana. We don't sell any medical marijuana. This is a place for cardholders to come and share their own cannabis," she said. Police disagreed and served search warrants at the club, impounding two vehicles and seizing an undisclosed amount of chron. That weed could belong to visitors, or it could belong to one of the medical marijuana cardholders who call the property home. "I saw them uproot a couple of marijuana plants. They took some bongs and pipes and phones and computers, and that's pretty much it," Greene said. Still, the raid did not dampen the drug-clouded spirits of Greene and her pothead friends. "By opening back up bright and early, less than 24 hours after the local police department's failed scare tactic, we, at the Alaska Cannabis Club, have made it clear that the will of the people is stronger than any force they have — and we aren't going anywhere," Green said. The state’s legislature is still determining guidelines for the regulation of the marijuana trade after voters last year approved a ballot measure legalizing the recreational use of marijuana. For now, selling the hippie lettuce remains illegal………

- Rick Ross has gone toe to toe with a lot of powerful players in the entertainment industry, but this time the top producer may have stepped on the wrong set of celebrity toes. Ross has allegedly bailed on the offer of a collaboration with Bill Murray after the two were seen together in an Instagram post. Murray claimed that after recording a song in his studio, Ross later failed to show up for a TV special the duo were supposed to work on together. Ross may have simply been busy with all of his duties promoting and supporting the two albums he released last year, “Mastermind” and “Hood Billionaire,” but Murray was clearly banking on him to play a role in the new Christmas show he's producing for Netflix. Not only did Murray decide to call Ross out, but he used his appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” to do so. "We were doing a Christmas show, and my friend is friends with him, so thought he’d be great to sing this one song,” Murray said. “So he came and recorded the song... and that was the last we saw of him. If anyone out there sees like a 300-pound guy, who looks like he’s supposed to be in New York two weeks ago, let me know." To make it clear that he wanted Ross to fulfill his promise, Murray said that Ross “better be dead, because otherwise he’s in trouble.” Duly noted, Billy. Ross may not have shown up, but George Clooney and Miley Cyrus are to play themselves in the project, with Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph also set to appear as Murray reunites with “Lost In Translation” director Sofia Coppola. The project may not have a title or a Rick Ross, but its plot is known. It will follow Murray, who famously chooses not to have an agent or manager, as a shifty Hollywood agent tries to sign him. How a Christmas theme will be woven into all of this is unclear, but knowing Murray, it’s going to be bizarre……….

- Has Sierra Leone been watching too much C-SPAN and Fox News of late? The tiny African nation is showing some definite Republican Party tendencies of late, at least its opposition party, which is considering impeachment proceedings against the president and said it will refuse all cooperation with the government since the vice president was fired. The Sierra Leone People's Party is looking to put the hurt in certain people and said following r an emergency meeting that it will also ask the Supreme Court to review Vice President Samuel Sam-Sumana's removal from office. The party’s rage is directed primarily at President Ernest Bai Koroma, who fired Sam-Sumana last week, citing his expulsion from their political party. The move offended many and a number of groups have denounced the move as unconstitutional. Sam-Sumana is challenging it in court and in the midst of the mayhem, tensions have spiked in Sierra Leone as the country struggles to recover from a civil war while also battling an Ebola epidemic. Having a government that is on the verge of imploding and may or may not be ripe for a coup typically doesn’t help bring stability, but at least the impending fireworks will be fun to enjoy from afar. Toss in widespread allegations that police are using emergency measures meant to help contain Ebola to stifle dissent against the government and this is one hot mess of governmental incompetence and corruption. Whoever can successfully lead the country out of this giant societal clusterf*ck is going to have to be a blend of Winston Churchill, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Sun Tzu and Margaret Thatcher………

- Former Montreal Canadiens coach Mario Tremblay may still have some issues with a current member of the team. Tremblay, who was fired by the Canadiens in 1997 and had multiple altercations with Canadiens players both during and after his tenure, really doesn’t have much cause to have a beef with current defenseman P.K. Subban, but judging by the story a Quebec police officer pun in court last week during Tremblay’s court proceedings for speeding and suspicion of driving while intoxicated, the former coach may have some rage and bitterness issues. Constable Maxime Perron testified that after he pulled Tremblay over for traveling 18 mph over the posted speed limit of 31 mph and immediately smelled alcohol on Tremblay's breath. When the officer tried to arriest the former coach and NHL player, Tremblay refused to take a breathalyzer test and reportedly said the officer was like Subban, making poor decisions and being petty. Those words stem from a period when Subban was holding out of training camp with the Canadiens before eventually signing a new contract. Shortly thereafter, this whole DUI mess took place and Perron found himself the target of some displaced anger by Tremblay, now a well-known broadcast analyst with RDS in Quebec. Insulting your arresting officer is always a bold choice, albeit one bereft of wisdom. In Tremblay's defense, his lawyers are challenging the version of events provided by the police officer, hopefully without following their client’s (alleged) example and impugning the judge or prosecutor’s competence and professionalism by likening them to the bad temper of Carey Price or the petulance of Max Pacioretty…….

Chris Brown set free, Ohio is the king of cheese and Russia wants to bomb Denmark

- Don’t back down, Denmark. Russia may be bigger, inherently evil and willing to invade anyone in its hemisphere for no valid reason, but you need not fear its ambassador to Denmark saying Moscow could send nuclear missiles against ships from your country if you joins the NATO alliance's missile defense system. Ambassador Mikhail Vanin brought the heavy verbal lumber in an interview that circulated quickly through Danish media and prompted an angry response from Danish Foreign Minister Martin Lidegaard. Lidegaard was having none of it and showing the same sort of fighting spirit as King Christian X, who boldly rode through the streets of Copenhagen daily during the Nazi occupation of the city, without any guards, in defiance of the Third Reich. Lidegaard said the comments were "inacceptable" and that Vanin had "crossed the line" by saying that "everyone who joins" the shield "in the future will be a target for Russian ballistic missiles." He’s damn right and even if Vlad Putin is a third-rate knockoff of the Nazis at best, this dictator is trying to run roughshod over his region of the world and his minions are spouting the same sort of nonsense. At present, there are no immediate plans for a meeting between Lidegaard and Vanin, but the real stunner here is that it was all the way back in August when the Danes agreed to contribute to NATO's shield with at least one frigate with advanced radar capacity and the Russians are just now getting around to threatening the tiny Scandinavian country. Russia strongly opposes the missile defense system and its planned bases in Romania and Poland, mostly because it’s against anyone willing to stand in the way of its quest for world domination………..

- Many NBA rookies hit what is known as the rookie wall at some point during their first season in the Association. They play more games than they have ever played in a season, their body isn't sure how to handle the strain and they begin to break down. Hitting that wall generally doesn’t involve hitting another player in the junk as a competitive tactic. Boston Celtics rookie point guard Marcus Smart is simply an aberration as he proved by earning a flagrant foul 2 and being ejected from Friday night's 101-89 loss for blasting San Antonio Spurs forward Matt Bonner with an uppercut to the groin. Bonner, who has made a career out of being a tough, dependable player willing to do the grunt work a team needs to be successful, was merely trying to screen Smart out near the 3-point arc with nine minutes to play in the fourth quarter. Rather than absorb the contact, Smart decided to deliver some of his own, deliberately swinging his arm upward to strike a prone Bonner. On account of being struck in the junk, Bonner immediately confronted Smart and the officials separated them before reviewing the play and assessing a flagrant 2 to Smart, which comes with an automatic ejection. It seems Smart used the remainder of the game to formulate a truly ridiculous story to spin about the assault when he was asked what happened and he insisted the strike was a "freak accident" and suggested he was just trying to fight through the screen. "Like every other play, I was trying to get through a screen," Smart said after the game. "[Aron Baynes] screened me, [Bonner] tried to clean up the screen and I tried to fight through.” Nice try, M. Saying you were only trying to “rip through and rip up” is as believable as the Philadelphia 76ers trying to sell the world on the idea they they tried to build a competitive team for this season……….

- Ohio is where it’s at, cheese lovers. In case you weren't following the social media storm surrounding the just-concluded United States Championship Cheese competition in Madison, Wisconsin, you definitely need to know who rules the cheese world in these here United States of America. The king for the next year is Guggisberg Cheese in Millersburg, Ohio, which beat out 1,892 entries from 28 states. The Buckeye State cheesemaker won the with a 200-pound Swiss wheel and while the sheer magnaitude of putting 1/10th of a ton of Swiss cheese together is impressive in and of itself, the judges at the  contest actually dared to taste the cheese as well. They didn’t attempt to eat the entire wheel a la Ron Burgundy’s dog Baxter, but they didn’t need to eat the dairy equivalent of five small children to know that this was the big cheese. The Swiss wheel scored 98.496 out f a possible 100 points in the final round of judging, just edging out first runner-up John Pitman of Mill Creek Cheese in Arena, Wisconsin, who brought the blunt force of his top brick cheese for a final score of 98.389. Wisconsin’s cheese supremacy pride took a hit with the loss, but the state did win the most gold meals, with New York second. The contest also featured technical evaluation of butter and yogurt and Wisconsin, New York and California earned the most medals in the debut yogurt classes, each winning two medals. For the lactose-tolerant among us, it was an impressive feat showing off America’s ability to crank out massive hunks of yet another unhealthy food product………

- Chris Brown is a free man once again. Technically, the wildly overrated R&B artist has been free for the past six years, but there has been that pesky probation thingy hanging over his head during that time. You know, the one imposed on him after his assault on then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009. The one that involved the two of them in a car, a battle over a cell phone and Brown smacking his lady around because, you know, rage. Living the probation life wasn’t easy for Brown and he had his probation revoked in January when the he traveled without court approval and hadn't completed his community service. Somehow, he escaped further judicial wrath and served the final few months of his six years and one month of probation to the approval of the court, after which his probation officer reportedly told a Los Angeles judge that his client had satisfactorily completed his community service. That prompted Brown to take to Twitter and thank God for his newfound freedom, although if he’d been istening to the almighty all along, odds are he wouldn’t have ended up on probation in the first place. “IM OFF PROBATION!!!!!!!! Thank the Lord!!!!!!,” Brown tweeted shortly after the decision. Great, but don’t get too used to the idea of being free and clear of the law, C.B. If this year is any indication, he’ll be back on the police blotter soon. Last month, Los Angeles police searched Brown's car after receiving an anonymous tip that his passenger was carrying a gun. The incident came after Brown attended rapper TI's pre-Grammy party at Hollywood's Sayer nightclub and followed a separate incident during an appearance at a San Jose nightclub when Brown was forced to flee the stage after gunshots were fired. Cleaned-up act or not, it’s difficult to stay out of trouble for long when you’re hanging out in those types of places with those types of people……….

Northern Ireland bonfires, Manny Pacquiao gets lit up and the $6 million janitor

- Former Blink-182 member Tom DeLonge is making bold claims for a man who hasn’t released any new music nearly a quarter of the way through the year. Fresh off a bitter split with his former Blink bandmates, DeLonge is trying to position himself for a prodigious finish to 2015 by vowing – on Twitter, no less – to release a whopping four albums this year. "I am putting out four albums in one year - this year," DeLonge tweeted, failing to follow up with titles for three of the four albums. He has already confirmed the release of “To The Stars,” an album of old solo material mudled with a few token new songs, on April 21. The single “New World” is the first from the album and while it sounds perfeclty fine, it hasn’t exactly set the musical world on fire. Maybe the four albums are a response to Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker’s public excoriating of DeLonge in the wake of the latter’s split from the band, including claims that DeLonge never really liked punk rock and that it was “just a phase” for him. Those words of hurt came after DeLonge allegedly refused to enter the studio and record a new album with Barker and Mark Hoppus, but DeLonge denied those claims. Blink-182 recently played their first gig without their former leader singer, with Alkaline Trio singer Matt Skiba on the mic. It doesn’t sound like they’ll be first in line to pre-order any of DeLonge’s four new releases, but they may have a thing or two to say about them once they drop……….

- Be kind to the janitor. You never know when that small, frail, quiet old man might be rocking a seven-figure net worth and a benevolent streak like nobody’s business. That’s the tale of former Vermont resident Ronald Read, who died in June at the age of 92. The former gas station employee and janitor was known as an infinitely frugal man who often held his coat together with safety pins and had a habit of foraging for firewood and parking extreme distances away from his attorney’s office in order to avoid having to pay to park at meters, but it turns out he was also a stock-picking savant. That lat tidbit became public after his death when he bequeathed $6 million to his local library and hospital. That wealth was amassed with an uncanny ability to pick good stocks, investments that "grew substantially" over the years, according his attorney Laurie Rowell. A man known for his flannel shirt and baseball cap was walking around with millions of dollars to his name, but never gave any indication of the $4.8 million he would eventually leave to the Brattleboro Memorial Hospital and $1.2 million he would one day bequeath to the town's Brooks Memorial Library. . "He was unbelievably frugal," Rowell said. The gifts were the largest either institution has ever received and Read made smaller gifts to other entities as well. He also donated an antique Edison phonograph with dozens of recording drums to the Dummerston Historical Society, Rowell said. Read lived in the area most of his life, having been born in the small town of Dummerston in 1921. He became the first in his family to graduate from high school, served in the military during World War II and worked at a service station for 25 years and then 17 years as a janitor at the local J.C. Penney. The only hint of his wealth was his regular readership of the Wall Street Journal, but now the world knows the rest of the story………

- That Floyd Mayweather Jr. has declined to agree to terms for a penalty that would cost either man $5 million in the event of a failed drug test before or after his May 2 megafight against Manny Pacquiao at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas isn't noteworthy. These two will actually fight in about six weeks, but they’ve never stopped fighting and bickering behind the scenes over all manners of issues, details and minor disagreements. What is great about Mayweather shooting down the proposed stipulation is the reaction of Leonard Ellerbe, CEO of Mayweather Promotions and Mayweather's close adviser, to Pacquiao adviser Michael Koncz announcing the decision. According to Konz, his client requested that there would be a reciprocal fine of $5 million for a failed drug test, but Mayweather attorney Jeremiah Reynolds sent a letter to Pacquiao attorney David Moroso declining to enter into any agreements on such a financial penalty. Ellerbe didn’t need to say much – if anything at all – in response to the news, but that didn’t stop him from busting a cinder block over Koncz’s head from behind and smashing him with a steel chair to the back for good measure. "Michael Koncz is an idiot, and Manny Pacquiao should be ashamed to have him as his representative in my opinion," Ellerbe said. "It's obvious he didn't read the contract. Why would he have his fighter sign something he was not happy with?” Ellerbe was just getting started and from there, he moved on to a solid moron blast. "If this moron didn't convey his fighter's wishes when the negotiation was going on that's their problem. This is a lame-ass attempt to generate publicity," he added. Calling the guy a moron and labeling this a lame-ass attempt to grab publicity? Nicely played, Lenny. Drug testing has been a point of contention throughout the past few years as Mayweather and Pacquiao have danced around this fight and back when the two camps first negotiated the bout in late 2009 and early 2010, they had agreed to all aspects of the deal except for the drug-testing protocol. This time around, Pacquiao agreed to Mayweather's demand for USADA testing and they signed contracts with the agency about three weeks ago. Ellerbe may not be Winston Churchill here, but he does have a point and Koncz’s counter that Pacquiao didn't negotiate the fine into the master fight agreement because he was concerned with getting the fight signed at all just sounds weak and unintelligent……..

- Seeing sh*t set on fire is a pretty common thing in Northern Ireland. Given the country’s combustible and combative history that continues to this day, bombs and other pyrotechnics are as common as Irish stew and Titanic references. But what will go down Saturday night in the city of Londonderry is different than the normal Catholic v. Protestant wars and political strife that have marked the nation’s history. At the center is a  72-foot-tall, hand-crafted wooden tower designed by American sculptor David Best. The structure is reminiscent of a Buddhist temple or an arabesque palace and has been carefully constructed over a period of months. Best is well-known for building wooden temples that are set ablaze during the Burning Man festival in Nevada, so public art promoters invited him to Northern Ireland to create a monument that will be be burned to the ground in front of 15,000 ticket-holders. The idea of building a seven-story tower, setting it on fire and selling tickets seems silly because anyone in the city is going to be able to see it, but the real purpose of the big bonfire is contrasting this spectacle with the ones commonly lit in acts of sectarian division. Each summer, the country’s British Protestant majority burns hundreds of bonfires bedecked with anti-Irish symbols and the Catholic minority seethes in not-so-silent hatred. Londonderry is divided into a mostly Catholic west and Protestant east, yet Best's tower in a hilltop field on the east side is attracting Catholics and Protestants alike with an open invitation to decorate every visible inch of its nook-and-cranny-covered surface. They have obliged with hand-written messages to their community and their loved ones, embracing Best’s goal to make the structure "so beautiful that you give up the thing that has been troubling you your whole life." It’s a lofty aim, but the tower is a sight to behold with its intricate scrolling and interlacing woodcut patterns into vivid relief. The only wet blankets amidst the fun have been square, über-conservative religious leaders who believe the mass burning of people's prayers could represent a dangerous flirtation with "the occult or Satanism.” Nice try, buzzkills………