Tunisian rap persecution, naked haunted houses and a Nirvana revival

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- You can't fire me….I QUIT! That seems to be the general philosophy espoused by soon-to-be-former Seattle Mariners manager Eric Wedge. Wedge informed the team on Friday that he will not return as manager next season because he believes it is obvious he does not have a future with the organization. He will serve the final game of the season Sunday as a lame-duck manager before the Mariners begin a search for a new one. "It's got to the point where it's painfully obvious to me that I just wasn't going to be able to move forward with this organization," Wedge said before Friday's game. "We see things differently and we talked about it but it just got to the point where I couldn't continue to move forward. Ultimately, I didn't feel like I could continue to manage here with the circumstances the way they are." He did not expound on the circumstances or situations that led to his decision, but Wedge was brought in to replace Don Wakamatsu in 2011 because of the track record he built in Cleveland as the manager during the Indians’ lengthy rebuilding process. His efforts to affect the same change in Seattle was hindered by a constant influx of young prospects and disappointing veterans and the Mariners will finish fourth in the AL West this season, saved from last place by the MLB-worst Houston Astros and their astounding ineptitude. A fourth straight losing season (allegedly) wasn’t going to be enough to cost Wedge his job, according to Seattle GM Jack Zduriencik, who said the club had every intention of bringing Wedge back for 2014. "I was looking forward to having Eric back but through his series of thought processes he decided that this wasn't going to work," Zduriencik said. Some of the drama may stem from last offseason, when the team offered Wedge a one-year extension that he rejected because he didn't feel that was a "proper endorsement" when trying to rebuild a team. He added this week that he felt he was left "hanging out there" by the organization on his status for next year, so maybe it’s best that this breakup happened now………

- Silicon: It’s for more than just poorly crafted new racks for superficial women. Yes, it can also be used for non-ridiculous purposes and that’s why a group of Stanford researchers has been studying what happens when silicon, the standard material in today’s microelectronic circuits, reaches its fundamental limits for use in increasingly small transistors. This intrepid group reported last week that it had successfully built a working computer entirely from transistors fashioned from carbon nanotubes. The nanotubes are cylinder-shaped molecules that have long been considered good options for smaller, faster and lower-powered computing, are tough to work with – just not tough enough to stop the Stanford Robust Systems Group. They have worked for 18 months on the project, progressing from building individual carbon nanotube transistors to simple electronic circuits made by interconnecting the transistors. Their labor of love has wrought a complete computer made from an ensemble of just 142 low-power transistors. Right now, the computer is unrealsitic on a larger scale because it is assembled from transistors that are ginormous by industry standards — one micron vs. 22 nanometers. Still, it is what computer scientists refer to as a “Turing complete” machine, meaning that it is capable of performing any computation, given enough time. “It can run two programs concurrently, a counting program and a sorting program,” said H. S. Philip Wong, a Stanford University electrical engineer, and one of the leaders of the group. “We’ve spent a tremendous amount of based on a subset of 20 of the instructions used by the commercial MIPS microprocessor, which itself was designed by a group of Stanford researchers led by Stanford’s current president, John Hennessy, during the 1980s.time on this; in fact we’ve spent two generations of students on this.” Sadly, the intricate processes that underlie the modern semiconductor industry mean that any new technology that the industry might use must be perfected more than three years before it can be considered for use in commercial production. Don’t expect to see this baby on the market for a while…….

- Nirvana has been making something of a comeback in recent months. No, they aren’t rigging up a Tupac-style hologram of the late Kurt Cobain and going out on tour; instead, the iconic grunge rock outfit from Washington released the 20th-anniversary edition of its album “In Utero” and now, its former bass player is temporarily joining forces with one of the better rock bands on the scene today. Krist Novoselic is set to feature briefly on the new album from Modest Mouse and described his contributions to the project as “pretty edgy,” which is a bit cryptic but still interesting. "I did a song with Modest Mouse earlier this year for their new record. It's pretty edgy. I've got my big Gibson bass and a Rat distortion pedal busting out a... this bass riff,” Novoselic said. The project needs to be solid, as Modest Mouse cancelled their summer European tour in order to work on the follow-up to their last album, 2009's “No One's First and You're Next.” As for Novoselic, he was recently asked if he would ever consider playing any Nirvana songs live and said he would. "That's the best plan I've heard all year. It has to happen,” Novoselic said. His comments stem partially from his love of all things Nirvana, sure, but Novoselic obviously has an itch to get back on the stage because he also said recently that had had hoped to play live in former bandmate Dave Grohl's Sound City Players side project. "I was gonna come over with Dave [Grohl] to do the Sound City thing but that hasn't happened yet. I wanna get there, man,” he added. “When there's a continental drift, I'll be there." Former Nirvana members have had a big year, with Novoselic, Grohl and guitarist Pat Smear playing a number of shows with Beatles legend Paul McCartney……..

- Speaking of busy musicians….Tunisian rapper Ahmed Ben Ahmed, known as Klay BBJ, won’t be for a while unless sitting inside a dingy prison and wasting away counts as busy. That’s what Ahmed will be doing for the next six months ater being sentenced to jail for a song insulting the police and government in a case likely to fuel debate over free speech under the Islamist-led government. Yes, there are Tunisian rappers and they can be sent to jail and have their freedom of expression silenced under the governing coalition led by the moderate Islamist Ennahda party, which won an election after a 2011 uprising ousted a secular dictatorship. Sure, they government rejects those allegations, but what self-respecting totalitarian regime wouldn’t? Tunisian rapper Ahmed Ben Ahmed, known as Klay BBJ, has been sentenced to six months in jail for insulting the authorities in his songs," Ghazi Mrabet, his lawyer, said following the decision.  According to Mrabet, his client was prosecuted and convicted for songs he performed (allegedly) insulting the government and the police at a Tunisian festival. His conviction comes about 14 months after a Tunisian court released a rap singer named Wled 15, who was detained after he described police as dogs in a video. Some of the more observant folks around the country and beyond have accused Ennahda authorities of encouraging intolerance for secular views and lifestyles by failing to prevent militant Islamist Salafi attacks on certain cultural institutions and individuals as well, so it’s not a great time to be an outspoken dissident in Tunisia. The fight for artists is primarily with hardline Salafis, who disrupted several concerts and plays last year, saying they violated Islamic principles. Oh, and these fine skull-crackers also ransacked the U.S. Embassy in September 2012 during worldwide Muslim protests over an Internet video. All of this makes sense because lest anyone forget, Tunisia has been a hotbed of dissidence and revolt ever since the north African nation started the 2011 "Arab Spring" revolts. With the nation trapped in a political deadlock since July between Ennahda and its secular opponents who want the government to step down and make way for elections, expect more of this bullsh*t governance and oppression in the weeks ahead……..

- Why so serious, government officials in Sinking Spring, Pa., why so serious? If a local haunted house wants to invite freaks to come and pay $10 to be scared by masked weirdos dressed like ghosts, skeleton and axe murderers and do so while naked, why should you have a problem with it? That brilliant concept is the crazy, creepy dream of Patrick Konopelski, who has spent the past 22 years running the freak show that is Shocktoberfest. Like any good businessman, Konopelski is always looking for ways to improve his products and services and he thought he had the perfect concept for this year: allowing thrill-seeking exhibitionists to stroll through a haunted house in the nude. “This is about vulnerability. We’re talking about getting your defenses down and walking through a haunted house with zero protection. It has nothing to do with sex. It has nothing to do with inappropriate behavior. That is not allowed,” Konopelski explained. Oddly enough, the concept created quite a stir and has even become news nationally. The public tends to get that way when full nudity in public is involved, but Konopelski tried his best to draw the line clearly and distinctly between nudity and sex. “There are people who either don’t approve of this or don’t approve of what they think it is. There’s nudity and then there’s sex. This is not sex. This is basically nudity,” he said. When his explanation didn’t fly with town officials, Konopelski has to resort to the boring, tired method of running a haunted house full of fake blood and phony corpses for fully clothed customers. When nudity was allowed, the clothing-optional part of the day began at 10 p.m. and only those 18 and older were allowed. For that “privilege,” tools paid $20……….

Google upgrades, hay shortages and Jack White ruminates

- Since when did Britain become such a nation of prudes? A country that embraces porn in its newspapers proved this week that its tolerance only extends so far when the trustees of a village hall dropped a ban on a bondage and spanking workshop complete with tea and cookies. The event, described as a "relationship support meeting" on the booking form, was to be held at the 108-year-old town hall in Trumpington, a sleepy community north of London. Most weeks, the hall is the site for bingo for geezers, women’s groups and even Girl Scouts. How a spanking and bondage group doesn’t fit in there is a mystery, especially since the hall has had been used to hold "quite a number" of secret bondage classes in the past. "The premises were booked under false pretenses," a spokesperson for the hall explained. "They said it was a relationship support group but it turned out to be something else that we didn't know about. We have canceled all future bookings." Wait a minute…..who’s to say the conversations, instruction and support folks received at these secret meetings weren’t beneficial to their relationships? A group called Peer Rope Cambridge ran the secret spanking meetings, which cost $16 and came complete with a guide to meeting other "kinksters" and a class in caning. The group’s website, which has since been scrubbed clean, had contained messages about canes and group discussions about pain and pleasure. Peer rope is a type of bondage that sees participants tie someone up so they lose complete control, which sounds disturbing and is. Town hall manager Barbara Fernandez is clearly no fan of it and said she is seeking legal advice to determine if the hall has any avenues for recourse against Peer Rope Cambridge……..

- Jack White has come back up for air in between his 8,751 musical projects and taken time to speak about digital versus analog recording. White, who is active each year in Record Store Day to promote the non-digital music world, is not surprisingly lukewarm on digital music as a means to preserve tunes going forward. White noted that digital formats have "proven to be anything but fail-safe" when it comes to the preservation of music and suggested a need for alternatives. "A lot of the digital formats in the last 20 years have proven to be anything but fail-safe. The tapes break or the information can't be retrieved,” White said. To back up his words, White recently donated $200,000 to the National Recording Preservation Foundation, a non-profit group that seeks to preserve and make accessible the recorded history of America. White also looked back to the past of music recording in the United States and talked about how people dismissed the masters of early phonograph recordings. "There are stories of early phonograph companies taking apart the masters used to press wax discs so they could be sold as roofing shingles,” White said. “They didn't think a recording was a document of anything cultural. It was just a way to sell phonographs." To round out his diatribe, White spoke about his fondness for sheet music and told a story about his mother growing up in the 1930s and buying sheet music at the local department store. White’s Third Man Records will co-release Paramount Records' back catalogue on vinyl beginning in October, so White clearly is speaking at least partially in the interest of self-promotion. The busiest man in rock and roll is currently working on new songs with his band The Dead Weather, which consists of White, The Kills' Alison Mosshart, Dean Fertita of Queens Of The Stone Age and Jack Lawrence of The Greenhornes and The Raconteurs……..

- Google’s quest for world domination rolls on and the search giant has unveiled an upgrade to the way it interprets users' search requests. The improved search is based on a new algorithm, codenamed Hummingbird, and is actually the first significant upgrade to the search process in the past three years. Anyone wondering if it will cause problems for them shouldn’t worry because it has already been in use for about a month, meaning everyone has probably used the new search. The algorithm affects about 90 percent of Google searches, but the company is refusing to give out too many details about how it works. During an official presentation this week, Google said Hummingbird is especially useful for longer and more complex queries. It added that Hummingbird is necessary as users expect more natural and conversational interactions with a search engine. It centers on the ability to speak requests into mobile phones, smart watches and other wearable technology. The algorithm also focuses on more accurately ranking information based on a more intelligent understanding of search requests, unlike its predecessor, Caffeine, which was targeted at better indexing of websites. By better understanding concepts and the relationships between them rather than simply words, Hummingbird can supposedly yield more efficient interactions. It fits neatly with Google's "Knowledge Graph" concept, introduced last year and aimed at making interactions more human. A Google spokesman displayed a voice search through her mobile phone and asked for images of the Eiffel Tower. She then asked how tall it was and Google delivered the correct answer. Of course, most users are still going to rely on Google as their go-to search method for porn, so as long as it remains effective for finding hot girl-on-girl action, then most Internet users should be happy……..

- Hay there. Minnesotans wish there was more hay there, here and everywhere because their winter is about to suck even more than it normally sucks. A year of drought and disease have left the state in something of a hay crisis, with stockpiles shrinking and prices skyrocketing. Horse owners are already feeling the effects of the increase and various animal rescue groups are preparing for a tough few months. The biggest culprit appears to be a down year for alfalfa crops, which doesn’t exactly shake the world for most people but can have dire consequences for the hay eaters of the world. “It is a perfect storm of winter kill of alfalfa, dry conditions most of the summer, which has now led to shortage of quality hay,” said Stacy Bettison of the Minnesota Horse Welfare Coalition. “And that has led to much higher hay prices.” Winter hasn’t even hit yet and already hay prices are as high as twice last year’s levels in some places. Farmers are facing the option of paying more or feeding their animals lower-quality hay, neither of which is an appealing choice. Cheaper hay can lead to digestive problems and even death in extreme cases. Horses can consume an entire bail of hay in a matter of 2-3 days, making their grocery bills bit too high to stomach with the current hay prices. No alfalfa is growing in the state at this point, so whatever hay supply exists right now is all Minnesota will have for the winter unless it undertakes the costly endeavor of importing more. Horse owners are already planning out their hay use for the months ahead, knowing that life will likely be very difficult in that respect when Minnesota’s eight-month winter drags on into March and April……….

- Can we have an undeserved break from the harsh judgment of the most hypocritical governing body in all of American sports? After the NCAA handed out a completely indefensible easing of its sanctions against Penn State in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky child sex-abuse scandal, it took all of five seconds for USC athletic director Pat Haden to petition the organization about the potential of gradually reducing the penalties that have plagued the Trojans' football program since 2010. Haden said he and USC officials met with NCAA president Mark Emmert and other officials in Indianapolis after the NCAA decided to reduce sanctions against Penn State, including returning scholarships the Nittany Lions had lost and considering a reduction of the program’s bowl ban. "During our meetings with the NCAA's leaders over the last two days, we discussed enforcement and sanction issues impacting both the NCAA membership at large and USC specifically," Haden said in a statement. "We proposed creative 'outside the box' solutions to the scholarship issues resulting from the injuries and transfers experienced by our football team over the past three seasons.”  Haden made it clear he believes USC has made the same sort of  "progress" Penn State was lauded for by the NCAA in regard to athletics integrity. "Since the Committee on Infractions [COI] issued its sanctions in 2010, USC has been held up as a model and praised for its integrity and commitment to compliance, a fact often mentioned by the NCAA itself," Haden added. At this point, we’ll pause for you to laugh heartily at Haden’s suggestion and recall that the NCAA slapped USC with scholarship reduction penalties put in place after former running back Reggie Bush was found to have accepted tens of thousands of dollars in illegal perks and benefits while playing for the Trojans. Nice try, USC………

Idiots twerk, animals on the rise and rock stars punch walls

- Now THAT is rock and roll. British indie rockers Arctic Monkeys aren’t always the edgiest or roughest band, but their street cred is up substantially now that drummer Matt Helders has come clean about how he broke a bone in his hand during the recording of the band’s new album. While recording “AM,” Helders said, he injured his right hand when he punched a wall while drunk. Because of Helders’ absence, Arctic Monkeys were forced to use Elvis Costello drummer Pete Thomas for sessions. Helders was unable to play as he recovered from a surgery that involved a metal plate being inserted in his right hand. "It wasn't a fist fight with a person, no," Helders said. "I didn't hurt anybody, except for myself. It was... a bizarre incident... with a wall... that was harder than I expected... The next day I did (feel like a fool)... It was just me being stupid.” Stupid, maybe. Still, drunken stupidity is just about the most rock and roll thing ever and to hear Helders tell it, the experience has been an enlightening one for him. “They (his bandmates) weren't even that angry, because I'm not an angry person. I was just messing about, drunk. Everyone I've told said, 'We've all done it.' I just managed to hit the wrong wall. The bone popped out - not out of the skin but it was stuck up. I went to my girlfriend, 'I think we need to go to hospital,'” he recalled. Busted-up hands or not, Arctic Monkeys are currently one of the favorites to win the 2013 Barclaycard Mercury Prize, after the nominations were announced earlier this month and their album continues to be one of the most well-received rock releases of the year. Now, bring on the fishnet-clad groupies and rails of coke on the bathroom mirror……..

- It’s been painful and uncomfortable knowing ya, Charles Taylor. The despotic warlord turned president of Liberia will be spending his remaining years in a British prison after failing to overturn a 50-year sentence for war crimes against the people of neighboring Sierra Leone. Clad in an expensive dark suit and gold-rimmed sunglasses, Taylor stood nonplussed as his sentence was confirmed by Justice George Gelaga King, the president of the United Nations appeals chamber. The decision was long overdue after Taylor, 65, was found guilty last year of 11 counts of war crimes, including murder, rape, torture and the enslavement of child soldiers. His brutal guerrilla army terrorized Sierra Leone under the moniker the Revolutionary United Front (RUF). These mercenaries receiver guns, training and recruits from Taylor in return for diamonds. The court ruled him guilty of “aiding and abetting” these atrocities and so Taylor will be jailed in Britain for 50 years. It was fitting that King is a native of Sierra Leone and had the chance to deliver the decision to Taylor. The judgment was so lengthy that it took one hour and 15 minutes to read out. "The sentence is fair in the light of the totality of the crimes committed," King said. "The defense failed to demonstrate any discernable errors in the trial chamber's sentencing." Taylor will be classified as a “category A” inmate fit only for a maximum-security prison. Housing and policing him will cost British taxpayers a nice, round £80,000 per year. "Charles Taylor is the first former head of state to be convicted of war crimes by an international criminal tribunal since Nuremburg in 1946," said Brenda Hollis, the UN prosecutor. "This sentence makes it clear that those responsible for criminal conduct will be severely punished. No sentence less than 50 years would have been enough to achieve retribution and deterrence." Next stop for Taylor will be Belmarsh Prison, followed by a maximum security jail later this fall…….

- A few key species are on the comeback trail, according to a new report released Thursday by the Zoological Society of London, BirdLife International and the European Bird Census Council (EBCC). The consortium reported that  18 mammal and 19 bird species that have made comebacks in Europe since about 1960. They’re looking to see which conservation efforts are working and which ones need tweaking. “Wildlife will fairly quickly bounce back if we allow it to – this report shows that,” said Frans Schepers, managing director of Rewilding Europe. As part of the report, its authors claimed that Europe’s biodiversity is decreasing. Still, they believe that their findings represent a productive step in future conservation efforts. At the top of the list is the beaver, which is rallying like nobody’s business. The buck-toothed rodent has bounced back from just 1,200 individuals as of about 1900 to about 337,500 this year, according to the report. This matters because the Eurasian beaver, the second largest rodent in the world (after the capybara), builds the all-important natural dams that keep the continent’s water ecosystems in good health. On its heels is the bison, Europe’s largest herbivore. The bison population has increased in number almost 3,000 percent since 1960, after it was hunted almost to extinction about 100 years earlier. Researchers credited captive breeding programs, beginning in 1952, for the revival. Further down the list are the grey seal, the Pyrenean ibex and the brown bear. Birds have plenty of success stories as well, with the pink-footed goose, the white-headed duck and the Spanish imperial eagle all on the rise. The report’s authors identified translocations and reintroductions as the most beneficial strategies for boosting animal populations and perhaps one or both of those methods could help the only species in the study that saw its population decline: the Iberian lynx…….

- Don’t pin this one on noted attention whore Miley Cryus…not entirely, anyhow. She can own part of this, but morons have been pulling stupid sh*t for a long time all in the name of getting their name in the Guinness Book of World Records. Kooks, ass hats and fools love growing the longest fingernails ever, accumulating the biggest ball of yarn known to man or standing on their head longer than anyone ever has. Combine the Cyrus factor and the Guinness envy and you begin to understand why hundreds of tools gathered in Herald Square Wednesday to set the Guinness World Record for the most people twerking at the same time for two minutes. Ignoring the fact that this record is completely worthless and being a part of it is an embarrassment to that person and their family, 358 people between gathered Wednesday to twerk for two minutes straight in a giant orgy of dance stupidity organized by the music channel Fuse and New Orleans musician Big Freedia. Organizers reported that the participants ranged in age from 8 to 80 and with a Guinness official on hand to certify the event, the record was secured. Actually, only 250 folks were needed to set the record for twerking, a dance move that is basically people grinding on a real or imagined partner or object like the world’s filthiest stripper on coke. Oh, you can also chip off a slice of the blame for the Oxford English Dictionary, which added the word “twerk” just last month, terming it it as to “dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance.” Hopefully, everyone involved is sufficiently shamed……….

- Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany sounds crabby. Being a total fraud who is part of the machine that profits in massive ways off the efforts of unpaid college athletes should make a person happy, but Delany was downright bitter this week when he suggested that Division I football and basketball might be better served by following Major League Baseball's model, in that players are allowed to sign professionally right out of high school. Delany theorized that college athletics are becoming little more than a minor league system for the pros. "Maybe in football and basketball, it would work better if more kids had a chance to go directly into the professional ranks," Delany said. "If they're not comfortable and want to monetize, let the minor leagues flourish. Train at IMG, get agents to invest in your body, get agents to invest in your likeness and establish it on your own. But don't come here and say, 'We want to be paid $25,000 or $50,000.' Go to the D-League and get it, go to the NBA and get it, go to the NFL and get it. Don't ask us what we've been doing.” Wow, someone asks Delany to share a piece of his massive pie and suddenly he’s swinging on people and invoking the names of John Havlicek and Michael Jordan. The commish went on to say that a restructuring plan in college sports must be in place by next spring to create better balance educationally and more options. He is open to increasing the value of athletic scholarships, but balked at the idea of paying college athletes. At the same time Delany was whining about people suggesting he and his brethren cease and desist with their gravy-training enterprise, the National Association of Collegiate Directors of Athletics and the IA Athletic Directors Association wrapped up their meetings in Dallas. The group discussed topics ranging from NCAA governance and enforcement to the rejection of "pay-for-play” concepts. Way to be forward-thinking, all……..

Maldives madness, new Amazon tablets and NFLers get Twitter troll fuel

- Keep the hate coming, Twitter trolls. San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has heard your scathing, 140-character criticisms of his game and not only does he not object to them, he wants you to keep them coming. Following two straight terrible games that his supposed Super Bowl contender of a team lost big, the third-year quarterback admitted he reads the critical messages fans send his way on the microblogging site and rather than block his trolls, he is favoriting the tweets. Kaepernick, who has become a frequent star in various commercials and ad campaigns since leading the 49ers to a Super Bowl berth in his first 10 starts in the NFL, was asked about his response to tweets that often border on the vulgar and downright offensive. "It's something that I do for me,” he said of favoriting the tweets. "It helps me.” The obvious conclusion to draw from that statement is that the negative messages provide motivation to work harder and improve and when asked if that was the case, Kaepernick responded, "I guess you could say that.” Whether he means it or not, at least Kaepernick has a unique approach to handling an issue that leads many athletes into ugly verbal battles that end with them F-bombing fans or unleashing profane tirades that they end up tagging with team-ordered apologies. Either way, the 49ers are mired in a two-game losing streak and face a road game Thursday night against a tough St. Louis Rams team that they went 0-1-1 against last season. Win and those Twitter trash talkers will have to go away for a week, but lose and turn in another subpar performance and Kaepernick won't need to ask for more hate tweets because his phone will be blowing up with them…….

- How does one find a stolen vehicle that seems lost and gone for good? Google Earth, anyone? That’s how a George County, Miss. man tracked down his stolen GMC Yukon SUV. According to Sheriff Dean Howell, that SUV was reported stolen in March and the owner was able to locate his missing ride simply by logging on and taking time to use Google Earth to scan land he regularly hunted on. According to police investigators, the man told them his SUV was originally s stolen from a convenience store off of Highway 26 West. For months and months on end, there was no sign of the car. It didn’t pop up on Craigslist or Autotrader.com, nor did parts show up for sale as a chop shop in some remote corner of the state. Instead, it simply vanished….right up to the point the owner checked out the terrain that he hunted on with Google Earth. His research revealed when looked like an illegal shooting house.  Being the good Samaritan he is, the man headed out on foot to check out the area for himself. He and his son visited the land and began walking the general area where he spotted the unusual sight online. They even went high tech by plugging in the coordinates on his GPS and those numbers led them straight to the SUV, tucked far back in the woods and covered in brush. Howell believes the vehicle may have been left there because of the area’s proximity to an old logging road. Once the vehicle was located, District 4 Supervisor Larry Havard and his crew helped brought in heavy equipment to pull the SUV out………

- Amazon is certainly trying new things. One of its new things is two new high-definition tablets featuring a unique on-screen helpdesk feature the company hopes will give it an advantage over devices from rivals Apple and Google. Its new Kindle Fire HDX tablets feature what Amazon has called the 'Mayday Button,” a feature that instantly launches a video chat with a tech-support representative who can tell a user how to operate the device or even do it for them remotely if they are too stupid to do it for themselves. If a person is willing to spend big for an HDX tablet, he or she can enjoy this support for free 24 hours a day, with a maximum promised response time of 15 seconds. The chat window can be moved around the screen and although users will be able to see the representative helping them, the support staffer will not be able to see the person they are helping in order to protect privacy – allegedly. Amazon has always attacked the tablet market differently than Apple, electing to sell its devices at close to cost, then profiting off the sale of digital content such as video and music. Since its first foray into the tablet market in 2011, Amazon has seen modest success with its successes as virtual vending machines for purchases. The company’s launch for the HDX tablets did not include information on how the video support feature will affect prices. "This is the kind of feature that we are well-suited to do," Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos said. . "Many of the things we've done marry together high-tech with heavy lifting. This is one of those things." Bezos claimed the company is in the process of hiring and training thousands of support staffers for the new endeavor and vowed to be ready for the upcoming holiday season. The 7-inch and 8.9-inch models are to be lighter and more powerful than the last Kindle HD line and will come in 16GB, 32GB and 64GB storage sizes………

- Do any of the above actually matter at all in the grand scheme of life: Leah Remini, ABC’s reality ballroom dancing show “Dancing With the (D-List) Stars” and the Church of Scientology? Probably not, but the ongoing scrap involving all three can still be entertaining. Remini, a contestant on the seventh season of the reality dancing show, left Scientology several monhts ago and the split has been an ugly one. She has accused the church of openly harassing her since she left it and the issue came up again Monday night in a video clip that aired performance on Latin night of the show. "I'm going through a personal big change for me and my family," Remini said. She exited the Scientology arena amidst a disagreement over differing points of view and allegations that she was mistreated after a confrontation with church leader David Miscavige at the 2006 wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. She later accused the church of depleting her self-confidence and addressed the issue a filmed conversation with her professional dance partner, Tony Dovolani. "I was always so scared to be myself," she said. "You're used to everything that happens to us is our fault. You're used to taking a lot of negativity on yourself." She reserved her biggest bomb for the end of her rant and dared to suggest that a bizarro church organization has a rooting interest in the outcome of a reality dancing show. "The church is looking for me to fail so they can say to their parishioners, 'See what happens when you leave the church?'" Remini asked. Oh, and she’s hoping that appearing on the show will help her clear her mind and get out of some of the bad habits she has fallen into……..

- The world is looking at you, government of the Maldives. In fact, the international community is watching you and wondering if you’re going to do the right thing and go ahead with a presidential run-off election due this weekend even though your Supreme Court has suspended it. Canada, Australia and the European Union are among those calling on authorities to hold the vote on Saturday as previously scheduled. That has to come as good news to ex-president Mohamed Nasheed, who is widely viewed as the front-runner. Canadian Foreign Minister John Baird boldly urged Maldivian judicial authorities "to not unduly delay the expression by Maldivians of their democratic will,” which was much stronger than Australia’s stance, which was to inform the Maldives that it “hopes to see an early resumption of the electoral process.” Baird also took a moment to condemn reported pepper-spray attack on Nasheed during a protest following the Supreme Court's suspension of the run-off on Monday night. Ignoring the right of a free society to mace its elected officials is a balls play, but Baird had support from European Union foreign policy chief Catherine Ashton, who called on the island chain to push ahead with the run-off. "I urge all Maldivians to work together to safeguard the integrity of the democratic process and ensure that the second round takes place in the same impartial and effective spirit as the first," Ashton said in a statement. So far, only India has been concerned enough to send election observers to the Maldives. The Indians noted that the court case has resulted in "uncertainty concerning the second round, which may have an impact on peace, stability and security in the country." President Mohamed Waheed was none too happy seeing foreigners pushing for an election that will likely boot him from office, branding those making the remarks as "irresponsible" and urging the international community to halt speculation over the issue. "I... call on foreign governments, the UN and the Commonwealth to show responsibility and to refrain from issuing statements commenting on, and speculating about, the ongoing court case," Waheed said. "Irresponsible statements by foreign governments and international organizations would not be helpful in consolidating democracy in the country." Spoken very much like a man who placed last in the September 7 first round with just over five percent of the popular vote……….

Walmart surprises, kicking out Gypsies and Shaq-tastic pun time in Sacramento

- Twitter and Facebook have become central avenues through which bands and recording artists from all genres can connect with their fans. Psychedelic/indie rockers MGMT want that to stop. Ben Goldwasser and Andrew VanWyngarden believe it is unhealthy for bands to share too much information on social networks because it removes an element of mystery that make artists interesting to fans. The duo explained that they are uncomfortable with feeling like they are expected to update fans constantly with information and revealed that they held off starting an MGMT Twitter account until earlier this year. "People have come to expect that from the artist, that they should be sharing every aspect of their lives," Goldwasser said. "It dilutes the whole thing in a way, and I don't know if it'll ever be the same again where there were people like David Bowie. Who really knew anything about David Bowie? He was able to craft this mysterious image that wasn't really him but this character [Ziggy Stardust] he created. You don't know how much of it was him or the character. That's something that is getting lost." Goldwasser conveniently ignored the fact that Bowie existed in a bygone era and made much less money living in the 1970s, plus he probably would have used the hell out of social media if it had existed back then because he continues to be a prima donna with a massive ego and a total attention whore who loves people worshipping him. VanWyngarden piled on, using the helmet-wearing French tools of Daft Punk as an example of an act who are doing things the right way. "It's not like we're wearing masks. I think that's what's so incredible about Daft Punk, how complete their myth is and impenetrable their image is – it's pretty amazing,” VanWyngarden said. “That's not where we're at, but I'm happy that there is some mystery and questions around our band." Of course, none of this is about promoting MGMT’s eponymous third album, released last week……..

- Can bureaucratic committees save the environment? The good people of the Climate Commission, axed last week by the Australian government, intend to find out. The commission, which focuses on keeping information about global warming prominent in the public arena, will return to life thanks to an infusion of private funding. Professor Tim Flannery, one of the group’s leaders, is enthusiastic about the future of the Australian Climate Council, as the group will now be known following ''a groundswell of support'' across the country. “We've developed a real reputation for independence and authority in this area, and we just want to continue with that job. We haven't seen any plans from the government to provide an alternative,'' he said. Among the items on the agenda for the environmental leaders of Australia’s tree-hugging sect are repealing several climate change policies of the Rudd and Gillard governments, such as the carbon price, the Climate Change Authority and the $10 billion Clean Energy Finance Corporation. To replace them, the group plans a $2.55 billion so-called direct action scheme to pay polluters to reduce greenhouse gas emissions to meet a bipartisan goal of lowering Australia's emissions by at least 5 percent of 2000 levels by 2020. Climate scientist Will Steffen and former BP Australasia president Gerry Hueston are among the six commissioners who will tackle these major issues, but they will have to do so with a budget that is a mere  $5.4 million for four years, a figure that will be considerably smaller under the private revamp. ''We've already had some people step up already, and we've got every chance that this will work,'' Flannery said. The source of the private funding was not identified, although retired Adm. Chris Barrie is among the group’s supporters. Flannery made it clear he would like to work with Australia’s newly elected government, but noted that his organization’s role is largely educational…….

- Let the era of finding ridiculous ways to work the name “Shaq” into Kings-related puns begin in Sacramento. The walking attention grab that is Shaquille O'Neal has moved from hawking every product whose maker has $5 to wave his way to using his hard-earned dollars to purchase a minority stake in a team he used to hate. Yes, the former Los Angeles Lakers star now owns a chunk of the Sacramento Kings. He has been consulting with the Kings since the summer, when majority owner Vivek Ranadive asked him to mentor young big man DeMarcus Cousins. "We're creating the next-generation franchise here, the first franchise of the 21st century," Ranadive said of O’Neal’s addition. He then said, wholly unnecessarily, that O'Neal came up with the "Shaqamento" Kings that O’Neal has been tossing around. "That was Shaq, that was all Shaq," Ranadive said. "He's a poet. He's a great poet." O’Neal is decidedly not a poet and a pretty crappy rapper as well, but he sealed the deal with Ranadive after the eccentric billionaire had the man of many nicknames over to his house for a day and was wowed by O’Neal’s knowledge on a variety of topics. A dash of dating advice for the owner's daughter and social media assistance for his son helped O’Neal’s case despite the fact that he famously labeled his then-rivals the "Sacramento Queens" after a tense seven-game Western Conference finals in 2002. "I was just trying to market the game, bring attention to the game," O'Neal said. "It was nothing personal. We were not really scared of the Sacramento Kings, but scared of the environment. ... It was a tough place to play. We want to bring that energy and bring that excitement back." O’Neal or not, the Kings have a shaky foundation as they try to build around the erratic, troubled Cousins, a 23-year-old center who personifies the term “head case.” That’s the foundation being counted on to break a seven-year sabbatical from the playoffs………

- Way to be, France. Keep up that crusade against the Gypsies and drive them out of your beautiful, snooty country. French Interior Minister Manuel Valls knows this to be true and it’s why he vowed to keep up France’s campaign to expel people of Roma origin from the country on the grounds that they have a lifestyle that is in "confrontation" with that of the French and should return to Romania or Bulgaria. Valls also defended the French government's policy of dismantling the camps of the Roma, who are also known as Gypsies. Even though critics say the policy is racist against the more than 20,000 Roma in France, Valls is having none of it. "I approved the dismantling of these veritable slums that represent a danger both for the people of Roma origin, but also of course the people who live in working-class neighborhoods," Valls explained. "These populations have lifestyles that are very different from ours, and are clearly in confrontation.” Valls added that few Roma could integrate into French society. His remarks will undoubtedly fuel further heated debate about France's treatment of the Roma, who face discrimination across Europe, mostly because they’re annoying as hell and swarm to tourist-heavy areas to beg for money. Sweden is taking heat for compiling a secret, possibly illegal registry of more than 4,000 Roma, including children. France has taken it a step further, pushing to keep Romania and Bulgaria from gaining full access to Europe's Schengen zone, which allows passport-free travel. Romania and Bulgaria are set to accede to the 26-nation zone on Jan. 1, but French Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault has called for a two-step admission process — first by air travel, then by overland or sea travel borders. Opposition party leader Jean-Francois Cope has expressed similar sentiments and it is obvious by this point that France ain’t f*cking around with no Gypsies…….

- Shopping at Walmart often results in a person getting more than they bargained for. However, it rarely leads to anyone getting enough money to pay their Walmart bill for the next couple months. That, however, was the experience for a Salem, Ore. resident who bought a box of snicker doodle cookies from a local Walmart on Saturday. When he opened the box in his kitchen, he received a big surprise in the form of two $100 bills. "When I opened it up, a $100 bill popped out," the man, who wished to remain anonymous, said. His initial response was to think that the money was either fake or some sort of unknown promotional ploy on the part of the cookie company. When he looked closer, he found the money to be real and hoping that he may have struck gold, he quickly returned to the store and checked out other boxes of cookies on the same shelf. "The remaining three boxes were still there, so I looked at the one and I looked at the other, and lo and behold, there was a second $100 bill," he added. Sadly, there were only two free Benjamins to be had and an incredulous recipient took both boxes to the customer service desk to inform the indifferent employees who staff the desk of his find. Presumably after waiting for 45 minutes behind people returning half-eaten boxes of food and month-old clothes they’ve worn 10 times, he reached the front of the line and the employee who helped him confirmed that the bills were real. Walmart management decided to let the man keep the money and they also identified a possible culprit in the case. This past Christmas, someone came in and anonymously paid for several families' layaway items, so perhaps this same person decided to return outside of the holiday season and continue to make a positive impact on the People of Walmart. The over/under on time it will take Walmart shoppers nationwide to begin raiding the cookie aisle and ripping open boxes in the hopes of striking it rich has probably already been eviscerated by the under (15 minutes), so don’t even bother jumping into the mix because the party has already started without you…….

French coke seizures, Ken Jeong's new show and NFL drug cheaters

- Part of the stoner aesthetic is constantly seeking ways to beat drug tests. Regardless of the job (typically minimum wage and food service-oriented) they hold at the time, every stoner needs a way to keep getting baked while keeping their job. Suspended Denver Broncos Pro Bowl linebacker Von Miller is no different, except his attempt to cheat a drug test is costing him hundreds of thousands of dollars and a huge chunk of his credibility. Miller, who was initially suspended for the first four games of the NFL season for violating the NFL's substance-abuse policy and then had that four-game suspension suddenly and mysteriously increased to six games, (allegedly) attempted to corrupt the NFL's drug-testing program with the help of a urine collector. Somehow, their stellar plot was foiled and the case has already impacted how the NFL's collection testing procedures are done. For trying to cheat the test, Miller could have had his suspension increased to a full season. His initial diluted sample counted as a positive test and led to notification of his four-week suspension under the NFL's substance-abuse policy, but diluting the test results by drinking excessive amount of water was just the start. Even as Miller's reps and the NFLPA were preparing to fight the suspension, NFL source said, they found out that the All-Pro linebacker and the collector plotted to avoid a failed test. The collector, who worked in Miami, reportedly was a jock sniffer who was enthralled with the idea of knowing and befriending a professional athletes. Because of that fact, the collector was allegedly willing to substitute another person's urine specimen for Miller's. In a twist straight out any “Scooby Doo” episode, their plan might have worked if not for a meddlesome second collector who discovered that Miller was not in the city where his collection was supposed to have taken place. Because of these shenanigans, the NFL has already met with representatives of the testing company to examine ways to strengthen testing procedures and avoid similar occurrences in the future. Stay classy, Von……..

- What does being a failed vice presidential candidate and a member of the lowest-rated Congress in the history of congressional approval ratings get a person? If you said a book deal, step forward a claim your prize….which is a book that 2012 GOP vice presidential candidate and possible 2016 presidential contender Paul Ryan will write at some point in the future. The Wisconsin Republican has an agreement with publisher Twelve for a book about the state of conservatism and while simply typing “bad” on a computer screen and being done with it might suffice, Ryan will plow ahead anyhow because he’s being paid a sh*t load of money to do so. His book will be titled “Where Do We Go From Here?” and is scheduled for publication in August. Twelve released a statement hyping a book that may amount to nothing more than Tea Party kooks paying $25 to read 200 pages of advertising from the man who wants to be their next presidential candidate. “’Where Do We Go from Here?’ will delve into the state of the conservative movement in America today, how it contrasts with liberal progressivism, and what needs to be done to save the American Idea,” the statement read. “It will challenge conventional thinking, renew the conservative vision for 2014 and beyond, and show how it is essential for the well-being of our communities and the future of our nation.” Ryan hasn’t announced whether he will run in 2016, but with an underwhelming field of contenders that includes Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul and Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, and a planned visit to New Hampshire next month on the books, Ryan may as well join the fray. Every would-be president needs a book to raise his or her profile and for the chairman of the House Budget Committee, who already has one book about conservative leaders to his credit, bloviating for another few hundred pages shouldn’t be too difficult………

- Ken Jeong has become annoying and ubiquitous. He was funny in “The Hangover” and significantly less funny as the franchise continued into multiple sequels, has become an irritating beer pitchman and continued in an irksome role as Ben Chang on NBC’s successful sitcom “Community.” All of that is apparently enough for the network to hand Jeong his own show, unimaginatively titled “Dr. Ken.” The show’s eponymous name is derived from the fact that, prior to his career as a comedic actor, Jeong completed a medical degree and is actually a licensed physician in the state of California. The show will draw heavily from his pre-acting life as a physician and for now, the project is in its infancy with a planned pilot episode that will be penned by “The Internship” scribe Jared Stern. If the pilot is successful – and with America’s love for stupid, mindless shows and entertainment options, it should be – Jeong would have a challenge on his hands attempting to balance his new show with his continued presence as a member of the “Community” cast. He has suggested previously that even if his new show is picked up, he will not abandon “Community” and will find a way to balance the two. "I will never leave Community. I will always Chang the world,” Jeong wrote on his Facebook page shortly after posting a link to a news story about “Dr. Ken.” The fifth season of “Community” won't be joining the rest of the new shows returning to the air in September and October and it won't air new episodes until early 2014. Stars Joel McHale, Alison Brie and Danny Pudi will all be back for the full season along with Jeong, although Donald Glover has accepted a reduced role on the show and will appear in just five of the 13 new episodes scheduled for the season……..

- Guns to save a critically endangered bird population? In certain areas of Cape Cod, Massachusetts, the answer to that question is yes. A group of researchers has deployed a trio of cannons into areas where populations of the red knot, a robin-sized bird species, are roosting. These cannons won't help anyone overtake a fort or seize a castle, but they will fire nets s to trap the birds in order to collect feather samples and outfit them with geo-locator devices. Tracking the birds will allow the researchers, from the Conserve Wildlife Foundation, to gather clues that might help them save the species from what some ornithologists say is an extremely likely extinction. The red knot is believed to be one of a large number of shorebirds that are in trouble. Approximately 70 percent of shorebird species are in decline, according to Lawrence Niles, a participant and the chief biologist at the Conserve Wildlife Foundation. Even amongst this group, the red knot is struggling to a higher degree, with its population in many areas having declined as much as 75 percent since the 1980s. Niles and his team point to the disappearance of “stopovers”—ample populations of crabs, shellfish, and fish – that red knots and similar birds can feed upon during their seasonal migrations. Flying cross-continent takes a lot out of a bird and without sufficient food sources, birds won't have the necessary juice to reach their destination. Sure, critics could argue that if the red knot wasn’t an elitist species that can't find a suitable place to winter in the United States and makes its home in South America after breeding in the Arctic, but stopping over in North America apparently entitles them to some help. A journey of 10,000 miles is their plight and making the longest trip of any shorebird migration in the hemisphere is actually somewhat impressive. New Jersey has placed the red knot on its state endangered-species list, but so far the federal government has not followed suit………

- Did someone misplace a plane filled with one ton of Colombian nose candy worth a quarter of a billion dollars and change? If so, the French government has it and probably won't be too willing to give it back. According to France’s Interior Minister Manuel Valls, authorities seized 1.3 tons of cocaine from an Air France cargo flight that arrived at Charles de Gaulle airport outside Paris on Sept. 11. The confiscated coke was worth $270 million and had been carefully stashed inside 30 suitcases. Valls showed the 30 now-empty suitcases that were allegedly packed with $270 million worth of pure cocaine, representing what the Interior Ministry said was the largest-ever drug bust in the Paris region. Given the amount of rich, famous people who love to spend time in Paris and hang out at fancy parties, plus the activities around Paris Fashion Week every year, the need for copious amounts of the Bolivian marching powder is obvious. The investigation to break this particular case had an international flavor, with help from Spanish, British and Dutch police. Valls said the discovery underscored the "importance of strengthening international cooperation in the fight against traffickers.” Not surprisingly, the flight that brought the blow to Paris originated in Caracas, the capital of Venezuela. However, authorities have not linked the booger sugar to any of the passengers on the flight. “Several members of a criminal organization" have been arrested, Valls added. With the seizure, French authorities say they have now confiscated four tons of cocaine within their borders since the start of 2013…….

Imploding Chicago Cubs, movie news and freaky British clowns

- A violent and forceful infusion of new movies left last weekend’s earnings champion on its back and newcomer “Prisoners” on top of the heap. Hugh Jackman’s new flick claimed first place with $21.4 million, besting “Insidious Chapter 2,” which dropped to second with $14.5 million and has earned $60.8 million domestically so far. Third place went to “The Family,” down one spot from its debut last weekend but still bringing in $7 million for a two-week haul of $25.6 million. Fourth place went to “Instructions Not Included” on the strength of $5.7 million in weekend earnings, good for a $34.3 million four-week bankroll. The second newcomer of the top 10 was “Battle of the Year,” slotted fifth after bringing in $5 million in its first weekend. “We’re the Millers” somehow continued to hang tough, adding $4.7 million to its domestic total to elevate the number to $138.1 million after seven weeks. “Lee Daniels' The Butler” snagged seventh place despite a so-so frame, conjuring up $4.3 million for its impressive domestic total, which now rests at $106.4 million. One of the biggest goats of the weekend – no surprise – was “Riddick,” which is simultaneously proving that a) Vin Diesel still cannot act a lick and b) a tired outer-space action franchise dragged out several films too long will struggle to bring in fans. It managed just $3.7 million in its third weekend and has managed a measly $37.1 million overall. The shameless cash grab that is “The Wizard of Oz” in 3D and IMAX wrangled in a scant $3 million in its first weekend in theaters to secure ninth place and “Planes” rounded out the top 10 with $2.9 million to bump its seven-week take to $86.6 million. “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters” (No. 11) and “Elysium” (No. 12) dropped out from last weekend’s top 10………

- Duuuuuuude, this is totally bogus, man. How is a place called The Cheba Hut, like, not being allowed to build an epic new location in a place like Pacific Beach? It’s freaking southern California and they’re an awesome marijuana-themed sandwich shop, bro. It makes total sense and yet, the franchise owners of this chron-tastic business were turned away when trying to buy a location on Mission Boulevard. Why anyone would want to harsh the mellow of a ganja-loving business is astounding, especially when everything on the Cheba Hut menu contains some sort of marijuana reference. “It’s a counter culture theme,” owner Jordan Robinson said.  “It’s controversial.  We’re not saying bring your kids here, but we are saying we have a great product.” He may not be saying to bring your children to the Cheba Hut, but someone should. They may not be able to smoke pot (yet), but that doesn’t mean they can't develop a great appreciation of the stoner culture for later in life. The Cheba Hut started in Arizona and has 16 locations, one near San Diego State, known as one of America’s best party schools on an annual basis. It’s also important to note that the food on the menu is not made with marijuana despite the names of various items and the décor. Tossing “blunt” and “chronic” in on the menu livens it up and for those who doubt that the establishment is child-friendly, Robinson makes an excellent counterpoint. “We even have Kool-Aid on tap,” he added. Yet when he and business partner Ryan Snyder made an offer to buy a space in Pacific Beach and were approved to buy, realtor Covey Commercial refused to sell them the property once they found out the nature of the business. Robinson courageously noted that the Cheba Hut will continue to seek space in Pacific Beach no matter how this turns out……..

- Clowns are freaky, freaky freaks. The good people of Northampton, England are very literally being haunted by this reality at present because a bizarre, silent and leering clown continues to torment them. This mystert clown, who began to appear in recent weeks around Northampton, has grown to a creepy level of quasi-fame thanks to haunting photos later posted online. No one knows who he is or what he wants, but there are a scant few clues on a Facebook page created on Friday Sept. 13. "See you around," the clown ominously tags his posts. A newspaper story about the clown first brought the tale to the public’s attention and now, thousands of people track Spot Northampton's Clown on Facebook. Twitter users debate his motives and identity, but the clown isn’t giving them much to work with. So far, his primary tactics seem to be standing and staring while wearing a white mask and red wig, looking very much like the perverted twin brother of Pennywise from Stephen King's horror classic "It." In some photos, the clown totes balloons, in others he holds a creepy teddy bear. According to local legend, he once knocked on at least one family's door, offering to paint their windowsills even though he carried no painting equipment. That story seemed to irk the creepy clown, who disputed the allegation on Facebook and insisted the public has nothing to worry about from him. "Too much hate not enough love," he wrote. "No, i don't have a knife on me!, thats just stupid rumors spread by stupid people." Among the clown’s fans is the local police chief, who doesn’t seem at all alarmed by the freak in his town’s midst. "If I met the clown, I would shake his hands to thank him for what he's doing," Northamptonshire Chief Constable Adrian Lee said. "I think it's something to be enjoyed by us all." Wonder if the constable will feel the same way once he sees the “big surprise” the clown has promised for this week………

- The season needs to end for the Chicago Cubs, like now. The longer the season goes on, the more of a train wreck the loveable losers from the North Side become. Their 65-91 record and last-place status in the National League Central are to be expected for a team that spent the year jettisoning unsightly contracts and trying to set up a massive rebuilding process for the future. However, the year has taken a turn for the ugly of late, with two fans arrested for sneaking into Wrigley Field and attempting to steal some of the ballpark’s famed outfield wall ivy, and now with the ongoing implosion of closer Kevin Gregg. Gregg, who has saved 32 games for the beleaguered Cubs this season, had a meeting last week with manager Dale Sveum in which Sveum told Gregg he would use reliever Pedro Strop at times in the closer's role the last week of the season. Gregg came out of that meeting and proceeded to blast the Cubs for being insensitive to him and disrespectful in reference to the 32-save season he had posted. He was called back to Sveum's office and admonished by Epstein and told he would be disciplined. He was also told he had not lost the closer’s job and apologized, then met with media members to further address his comments. Epstein gave him some grace after he found out Gregg, through the prompting of media relations director Peter Chase, made his way to the press box to say he was at fault. The general manager also told Gregg that his status would remain the same and he would not be released despite the reliever's outspoken public criticism of the team. "I think the situation is over," Gregg said. "We can't change the past, we can go forward and forget about it." Forgetting about the year would be a wise choice for the Cubs, even if Sveum attempted to smooth the situation over by accepting some blame for what happened. "I will take some credit for that " Sveum said. "The thing somewhere along the line got miscommunicated. I told you [media] that we may give Strop an opportunity, the same thing I told him. It got miscommunicated and turned into a mess. It is all fixed now and apologies are all accepted." Gregg can become a free agent in November and at this point, it would probably be better for both he and the team to just go their separate ways and pretend nothing about this disaster of a season actually happened……….

- The FiOS Mobile app from Verizon is the latest chapter in the quest to bring everything you can access on your television and computer to your smartphone.  What the app offers is more than 45,000 titles of live linear television content as well as on-demand content. That content includes thousands of free and subscription-on-demand content from brands like HBO, Cinemax, Starz, Encore, Food Network, HGTV, and Travel Channel and to increase mobile video watching possibilities and be more competitive with its rivals, Verizon is rolling out an improved FiOS Mobile App. The app upgrade adds live linear content to its existing supply of on-demand offerings  as part of what Verizon has deemed the "Borderless Lifestyle.” What the new-look app lacks is the ability to watch content from BlackBerry 10 and Windows Phone 8 devices. "The FiOS Mobile app has a wide variety of content choice for all ages and interests, from the do-it-yourselfer to the moviegoer, and this is just the beginning," said Maitreyi Krishnaswamy, director of FiOS TV's consumer video services. "Close collaboration with content and software  partners, allows us to deliver a seamless customer experience, which will become even better as the content choices grow over time." At present, the live TV offerings are limited to nine channels or less, depending on a user’s TV package, via the iPad, certain Android  tablets and phones and the iPhone and Kindle Fire tablets. FiOS TV customers have had access to 76 live linear channels at home for a while, but their phones will now be able to stream content from BBC America, BBC World News, EPIX, NFL Network, including Thursday Night Football, Tennis Channel and networks from Scripps Networks Interactive including Food Network and Travel Channel. Some markets will also serve up local affiliates of ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and Spanish-language channels and parental controls are also part of the app……….

Park(ing) Day, Harry Potter as Freddie Mercury and the snakebot dream

- African nations with significant Muslim leanings are typically not thought of as progressive and sexually liberal. Tunisia, the largely moderate North African country, is flying in the face of conventional thought and doing so because its young women are fleeing for Syria on “sexual jihad.” Yes, you read that right, a sexual jihad. The technical Arabic term (jihad al-nikah) for the phenomenon describes a trend evident in other Arab countries as well, of women traveling to the battlefield to provide comfort—and sexual favors—for the rebel fighters. You could even call them jihad groupies, without the über-teased hair, leather mini-skirts and fishnet stockings. Tunisian Interior Minister Lofti Ben Jeddou lamented the trend during a national security address to members of the National Constituent Assembly and laid out the case against these border-jumping jihad sluts. “They have sexual relations with 20, 30, 100 militants,” Jeddou said. “After the sexual liaisons they have there in the name of ‘jihad al-nikah,’ they come home pregnant.” The number of Tunisian men flocking to Syria to fight alongside rebels in the country’s more than two-year-long, bloody civil war has reahced into the hundreds and the Tunisian government has struggled to stem the tide of would-be freedom fighters leaving for the battlefield, but no one seems to have expected Tunisia’s ladies doing the same. Oddly enough, some hardline jihadists consider the practice a legitimate complement to Holy War. Perhaps those recruiting for Holy War involvement should put this on their recruitment brochures because it might snag them a few of the top recruits every season. So far, according to Jeddou, the Tunisian government has prevented some 6,000 of its citizens from traveling to Syria. Here’s hoping it was the ugly ones……..

- Most college athletes who take money or benefits under the table are at least covert about it. They accept their illegal perks and bennies and pretend it never happened, but that trend may be changing. A few weeks ago, former Alabama tackle and current San Diego Chargers rookie D.J. Fluker was accused of having accepted thousands of dollars in benefits while at Alabama and a past Twitter post all but confirmed the story. Houston Texans All-Pro running back Arian Foster has done Fluker one better, saying in an interview that he received cash from a booster while at the University of Tennessee and admitting his doesn’t give a damn what ramipercussions are for the university. "I don't know if this will throw us into an NCAA investigation -- my senior year (2008), I was getting money on the side," Foster said. He went on to say that he was in a position where he had to choose between paying rent and buying food and does not believe he did anything wrong by taking the money. In fact, Foster hopes his case launches a discussion and ultimately a change in what he views as the sham-tastic way the idea of amateurism in college sports exists. “I feel like I shouldn't have to run from the NCAA anymore. They're like these big bullies. I'm not scared of them,” Foster added. He recalled a time when he called one of his coaches and told him he either needed money or he was “gonna go do something stupid.” The coach’s response was to buy Foster and three others 50 tacos, Foster said. His alleged indiscretions came when Foster played at Tennessee from 2005-08 under Hall of Fame coach Phillip Fulmer. Foster insisted he did not accept money directly from coaches, but noted that there were always people around the program willing to help him financially. Tennessee remains on NCAA probation through Aug. 23, 2015 and these allegations could result in further sanctions if the NCAA investigates and finds them to be true. Whether Foster revolutionizes the world of college athletics or not remains to be seen, but the NCAA may want to consider addressing what is clearly a bigger issue than it has been willing to admit………

- Snakes are creepy. Robots can be as well. So why not blend the two….and then send the resulting hybrid to Mars? Researchers at the SINTEF Research Institute in Norway and at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology have asked that question and answered it by developing a plan for a new type of Mars exploration robot. Aksel Transeth, a senior research scientist at SINTEF, is leading a feasibility study for the European Space Agency, examining how a snake robot would fare on Mars. "We started the study back in June and will finish sometime in December," Transeth said. “"Biological snakes can climb rocks and slide through small hole. Imagine if you could have a snake trained to find people in fallen down buildings." He and his colleagues are hopeful that they will be able to develop a prototype within a few months. His past work has focused largely on how to make snake robots more efficient on Earth in search and rescue missions, but developing sh*t for outer space is always more exciting. On Mars, a snakebot could conceivably reach places that other rovers could not dare to venture. It could visit cliffs and peer under overhangs, find small crevasses and explore the interior to find valuable samples of minerals and rocks. Getting to that point won't be easy and will require much work on the part of snakebot researchers (yes, there is a community of these folks), who have struggled to figure out how their creations can function in bumpy and highly confined spaces on Earth. Mars would present different challenges because it is colder and has less gravity than Earth, both of which could impact how the robot behaves. As such, a snake robot would likely have to be tethered to some sort of power source to function on Mars. Obstacles or not, at least the snakebot dream is still alive………

- Freddie Mercury was flamboyant, he was eccentric and he DEFINITELY should not be brought to life on the big screen by Harry Potter. Producers for the forthcoming biopic of the late Queen frontman need to keep that in mind now that the wildly overrated Sacha Baron Cohen has self-ejected from the role. Cohen is out because he and Queen, who have script and director approval, were unable to agree on the type of movie they wanted to make. Never mind the fact that Cohen should have kept his mouth shut and been grateful that his relative lack of acting talent was allowed anywhere near what could have been the role of his lifetime, because the bigger issue is the leading candidate to replace him in the role. Producers have reportedly identified none other than the wizarding one himself, “Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe, as their top choice to portray Mercury. On the surface, swapping out Borat for Harry Potter seems like a lateral move and maybe even a slight upgrade, but there really couldn’t be a less rock-and-roll persona than Radcliffe. Still, a source close to the project said that Radcliffe has “been told the part is his if he wants it.” That same source went on to say that the young actor impressed movie bosses with his portrayal of gay poet Allen Ginsburg in this year's movie “Kill Your Darlings” and therefore is well-equipped to play the gay frontman of an iconic glam rock band. Additionally, a 5-foot-5, Radcliffe is closer in height to Mercury (5-foot-9) than the über-tall and gangly Cohen. That the film is still going to happen is a departure from what screenwriter Peter Morgan said earlier this month after Cohen’s departure, point out that the movie was "probably not going to happen.” Whether him being wrong is a positive development or not is still extremely questionable……….

- Did you celebrate Park(ing) Day on Friday? Do you even know what Park(ing) Day is? If you missed it this year, you now have 363 days to ramp up for next year’s celebration of an event that honors a global movement to turn metered parking spots into temporary parks. It seems short-sighted and a total waste of time and energy, but the concept is slowly catching on in places such as Hartford, Conn., where three civic organizations teamed up to bring eight public parks in downtown Hartford to metered parking places on Trumbull, Pearl, Pratt and Main Streets. "Everyone is thinking about a more walkable city, a more greener city, a more livable city," Tim Yergeau, of the Greater Hartford Arts Council said. "This was a perfect tie-in." Yergeau’s commets are excellent because he’s ignoring the fact that a) the increased green space was a total gimmick that lasted for less than a day and b) he and his co-organizers didn’t exactly create Central Park in the middle of a fly-over Connecticut city that didn’t really draw in hordes of interested visitors because of Park(ing) Day. As part of the event, organizers set up a general information area on Asylum Street for people to learn more about the movement. This was the first year for Park(ing) Day in Hartford, so many people who happened to stumble across the downtown area on Friday and wondered why there were suddenly patches of green grass temporarily dropped in the middle of their fine city had no idea what was going on. At least one woman knew exactly how to make use of the new green space, even if event officials put a stop to her attempt to capitalize on one of the grass patches by having her dog, um, freshen it up. "I had to ask a woman not to let her dog pee on one of the spots this morning," Yergeau said. Stay classy, Hartford…….