Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A shiny new BMW, Susan Boyle + Elvis and NFL fakers


- Some people should not get married. Ever. For any reason. Period. Montana resident and potential murder convictee Jordan Linn Graham makes this case convincingly to the point that she should really film some sort of informational video to drive the point home for others who might walk in her shoes – assuming the guards at the maximum security facility where she is eventually incarcerated allow her access to a camera. Graham is accused of pushing her husband off a cliff after an argument after the two of them had been married for just more than a week. She made an initial appearance in court Monday to face a charge of second-degree murder and if convicted, she faces life in prison. The story of she and her late husband, Cody L. Johnson, is a truly heartwarming one that begins with the bride-to-be telling a friend she was having second thoughts about marrying Johnson. According to a criminal complaint, the couple argued the night of July 7 and decided that the best way to work out their tensions would be to go for a nice, long hike in Glacier National Park in Flathead County, Montana. Amazingly, they continued to fight once they reached the park and at one point in their dispute, Graham told police, her husband grabbed her by the arm. She turned around and removed his hand from her limb, at which point things escalated quickly and really jumped up a notch. "Graham stated she could have just walked away, but due to her anger, she pushed Johnson with both hands in the back and as a result, he fell face first off the cliff," the complaint read. Rather than tell anyone what had happened, she went about her life and Johnson’s body was discovered several days later. She later told a friend she planned to talk with Johnson about her reservations, but then texted a friend: “But dead serious if u don't hear from me at all again tonight, something happened." Yes, dead serious indeed……..


- No fakers here. After a Week 1 full of offenses operating at high-octane speeds and defenses struggling to keep up, several teams accused their opponents of faking injuries in order to buy time and slow down up-tempo attacks. No one complained louder than the Dallas Cowboys, who claimed that New York Giants players Dan Connor and Cullen Jenkins deliberately impeded their no-huddle offense by faking injuries Sunday night. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and quarterback Tony Romo both intimated that the Giants violated the league policy, but the team did not file an official complaint and left the issue up to the NFL. Giants coach Tom Coughlin adamantly denied the accusation Monday, insisting any claims of fakery were  "absolutely not true." Connor went down with an injury in the second quarter and the team announced he had a "burner." He did not return to the game, so it would seem that his injury was at least quasi-legitimate. Jenkins did return to the contest, but the Giants never announced anything about his injury, even to which body part it supposedly was. "Both of those players were injured," Coughlin said in a Monday conference call. "Connor never returned to the game. And Cullen was in a position where he needed to regroup. So that wasn't orchestrated at all." Saying he “needed to regroup” may sound like code for “staying down to slow down the opponent,” but the NFL reviewed the incident and found no basis for punishment at this time, according to league sources. The league sent a memo to the 32 teams about "faking injuries” prior to Week 1, informing them that they would be subject to disciplinary action even if no penalties were called in the game. "I thought us experts on football were the only ones who could see that," Jones said of what he viewed as faking by the Giants. "No, it was so obvious it was funny. It wasn't humorous because we really wanted the advantage, and knew we could get it if we could get the ball snapped." Better luck with the next allegation, Jerry……..


- Raul Fernando Gomez Circunegui could do well for himself in New York City. He has proven his ability to survive for prolonged periods of time under duress and he has no problem eating something that most find unsavory, but which is abundant in NYC. Circunegui is a 58-year-old Uruguayan man who disappeared four months ago in the remote Andes Mountains. He was found alive on Sunday after surviving an absolutely brutal winter eating rats and raisins to survive. His initial plan was to cross the mountains from Chile to Argentina on foot because his motorcycle broke down, but his trek took a horrific turn when he reportedly lost his way during a snowstorm. He was fortunate enough to locate a shelter 9,318 feet above sea level and passed the winter there with his unsavory diet. Sugar, raisins, rats and the shelter's leftover supplies were all he had to eat. That diet was enough to keep him alive for four months, but not enough to prevent him from losing 44 pounds and becoming dehydrated. Argentine officials from the northwestern province of San Juan happened across him when they traveled to the shelter to record snow levels. Hearing them outside, a weakened Gomez was able to hobble over and open the shelter's door, alerting the crew to his presence. "The truth is that this is a miracle. We still can't believe it," San Juan Governor Jose Luis Gioja said. "We let him talk to his wife, his mother and his daughter. ... I asked him, 'Are you a believer?' He told me, 'No, but now I am.'" After his rescue, images of an emaciated, bearded Gomez resting on a bed circulated around the Internet and a doctor who examined him after his return to civilization marveled at his resilience. "He's a patient with high blood pressure, a history of smoking and signs of undernourishment," the doctor observed. But "he's going to be fine and in a few days we're going to discharge him." Next stop, Manhattan……..


- BMW doesn’t do affordable vehicles. That has always been the case and it is once again with the company’s plug-in two-plus-two sports car, the i8. This pricy new whip was unveiled Tuesday at the Frankfurt Motor Show in Germany and comes with plenty of options and a massive price tag of $135,925. What does a $136,000 car come with? For starters, a carbon-fiber body and electric/gas power plant that will allow it to accelerate from 0 to 62 miles per hour in 4.4 seconds. Additionally, this plug-in hybrid will be fully chargeable with only a wall plug or use of a 1.5-liter, three-cylinder engine producing 231 horsepower. Its electric motors will be powered by its lithium-ion batteries and at its apex the i8 will boast 362 total horsepower, according to BMW. Versatility will be the calling card for this overpriced status symbol, as drivers will be able to choose from five driving modes that either save gas or add performance. Depending on their rich-person mood of the moment and how much of their wealth of disposable income they feel like throwing away on a given day, they will be able to sift through the five modes and pick the one that suits them best. In order to trick out the i8 with as many features as possible, BMW has also made the car the world's first volume-produced vehicle to be equipped with chemically hardened thin glass. That would be the same hard clear plastic found in smartphones and as anyone knows, smartphones never crack or dent, so this sounds like a perfect choice. Those who wish to own the i8 will either need to go abroad or wait until next spring because that is when the car will hit the marked in the United States……..


- Dear God, please help our poor ears. The pasty, cherubic circus sideshow that is former reality karaoke show contestant Susan Boyle isn’t going away and even worse, she’s readying her own Christmas album. That album will include an alive/deceased duet featuring Boyle and the late Elvis Presley, who will team up to sing their own special version of “Oh, Come All Ye Faithful.” The duet makes Boyle the first British artist to 'work' with Presley since his death in (theoretically) 1977 and will be one of the songs on the as-of-yet-untitled release. Boyle joins a list of actual recording artists including Frank Sinatra and Celine Dion who have recorded duets with Presley since his death. In order to use Presley’s vocals, Boyle had to receive approval from Presley's family. She reportedly spoke to Presley’s ex-wife Priscilla, who asked her face-to-face why she should be allowed to use Elvis’ vocals for her song. Boyle reportedly gave a heartfelt speech about how much it meant to her family and how Elvis was her father's idol and that bit of brown-nosing must have worked because permission was granted. Presley’s music is having a sort of resurgence this year, as a few months ago it was announced that a collection of his recording sessions at Stax Records will be released together as a box set for the first time. The effort, dubbed “Elvis at Stax: Deluxe Edition,” will be a three-CD box set featuring outtakes and rare photos from the two July and December 1973 sessions, which resulted in three separate albums. Maybe those tracks played at full volume will be enough to drown out the cat-strangling-like tunes that Boyle crafts on her wretched project……..

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