Monday, September 16, 2013

Tiger Woods whines, the ugliest animal and movie news


- Making big promises is part and parcel for the campaign process for any political candidate. Indian prime ministerial nominee Narendra Modi clearly read that page in the would-be-elected-official handbook because his is aiming really, really high as he tries to convince voters that he is worthy of their vote. Addressing a rally at Rewari in Haryana, Modi urged the crowd to support his plan to built the world's tallest statue in Gujarat in memory of the late Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel, an Indian barrister and statesman, one of the leaders of the Indian National Congress and one of the founding fathers of the Republic of India. To honor Patel’s memory, Modi wants a ginormous statue that reminds the country – and the world – about the so-called “Iron Man of India.” "Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel was a farmer and he was born in Gujarat. He played a vital role in uniting the country. But in the last few years, Patel, known as the 'Iron Man of India,’ has been forgotten," Modi said. His proposed statue already has a name, “Statue of Unity,” and this will be no ordinary statue. It won't merely squeak over the line as the world’s tallest; if Modi has his way, it will smash the record and tower over every other statue currently standing on God’s spinning Earth. "I wish the 'Statue of Unity' should be twice as tall as the Statue of Liberty in the U.S.," Modi added. “I want cooperation from countrymen in its making. I do not want cannon or sword. I want pieces of iron used in the fields while farming. Oh good, he wants to take metal from poor farmers, melt it down and use it for a statue that provides no tangible benefit to anyone, that’s awesome. Perhaps proving he is more than a little insane, Modi believes the statue could be completed within five years……..


- Those behind “Insidious Chapter 2” picked the perfect weekend to release a scary movie, dropping their new release on Friday, Sept. 13 and taking full advantage of the ominous debut date for a $41.1 million weekend. Fellow newcomer “The Family” rode the strength of Robert DeNiro’s presence to a second-place finish, albeit with a meager $14.5 million. Last week’s box office champion “Riddick” fell two spots to third and saw its earnings plummet 63 percent to $7 million for a two-week domestic total of $31.3 million. “Lee Daniels' The Butler” claimed fourth place with $5.6 million in its fifth weekend and has banked $100 million thus far. The last of the top five for the weekend was “We’re the Millers,” which slid one spot with $5.4 million and has somehow managed to rake in $131.6 million in its first six weeks of release. “Instructions Not Included” snagged sixth place with $4.2 million in another weekend of limited release and despite its location limitations, it has earned $26.6 million domestically in its first three weeks. The animated fun of “Planes” ranked seventh for the frame, adding $3 million to its total take for a six-week tally of $82.9 million and counting. Man-band mania was not enough to push “One Direction: This is Us” higher than eighth place as the “reality” movie about the British man band amassed a mere $2.4 million to up its domestic earnings to $26.9 million. Ninth place went to Matt Damon and “Elysium,” which cranked out $2 million and has brought in $88.4 million in six weeks. “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters” rounded out the top 10 with $1.8 million and it has stumbled its way to $62 million domestically so far. “Blue Jasmine” (No. 11) and “The World’s End” (No. 12) both tumbled out from last weekend’s top 10……..


- Which lucky creature has unofficially been dubbed the world’s ugliest? That would be the pinkish, gelatinous blobfish, which is the winner of a public vote to become the official mascot of the Ugly Animal Preservation Society. Now, there may be a tendency not to take an organization seriously when it began as a science-themed comedy night and devised its mascot campaign to draw attention to "aesthetically challenged" threatened species, but an honor is an honor. The blobfish, unable to attend the ceremony because it was held on land at the British Science Festival in Newcastle, was undoubtedly thrilled to learn of its honor. Beating out a list that includes the huge-nosed proboscis monkey, the pig-nosed turtle, an amphibian affectionately known as a "scrotum frog" and lice is a hard-fought win any species can appreciate. Biologist and TV presenter Simon Watt, president of the Ugly Animal Preservation Society, announced the honor and said he hoped the campaign would draw attention to the threats facing the creatures on the list. "Our traditional approach to conservation is egotistical," he said. "We only protect the animals that we relate to because they're cute, like pandas. If extinction threats are as bad as they seem, then focusing just on very charismatic megafauna is completely missing the point. I have nothing against pandas, but they have their supporters. These species need help." In other words, dude is accusing animal lovers of being shallow and superficial in the same way they might be in checking out the hot chick at the beach instead of the 250-pound chunker in a one-piece that still can't hide her miles and miles of cellulite. For the ugliest animal campaign, Watt worked with comedians, each of whom created a campaign message on YouTube for their chosen creature. The blobfish, which lives off the coast of south-eastern Australia and Tasmania at depths of 2,000-4,000 ft., won in a landslide with a margin of 10,000 votes. It could definitely use the confidence boost, as its gelatinous body is just slightly more dense than water and it spends its life "bobbing around" in the depths feeding on crabs and lobsters while looking like SpongeBob’s butt-ugly bastard cousin…….


- Naked people doing ridiculous things in situations involving alcohol is a staple of the college experience for virtually everyone – at least everyone who does college the right way. Incoming freshmen at Reed College in Portland, Ore. should realize this and whoever among them filed a formal complaint following the 2013 installment of an annual tradition at the small school should be ashamed of himself or herself. The event features upperclassmen - some dressed as gods and goddesses and others dressed in nothing at all – gathering around incoming freshmen walking into Vollum Hall and demanding libations to the “gods” in return for "promised good luck" in the coming school year. It seems ridiculous and moronic and it is, which is why it’s such a key college experience. Unfortunately, someone who witnessed the event went all uptight square and filed a complaint with the school. That complaint put Reed president John Kroger in a difficult position. "I am sure the students in question believed they were engaged in harmless fun," Reed said. "Unfortunately, the conduct of the nude students caused deep distress to some members of our community." The letter to the university claimed that the tradition created a hostile environment for victims of sexual assault and while trivializing or minimalizing sexual assault is a horrible idea, there was no violence – real or implied – in this case. Students who support the tradition pointed out that Reed has a tradition of nakedness, like during its renaissance fair, and that the nakedness around campus is all in the name of good fun. Unfortunately, because a complaint was filed, Reed College staff are now investigating to figure out if the incident violated Title IX, which prohibits sexual discrimination within any school or educational system that receives federal funding. Thanks for ruining the fun, anonymous complainer………


- Tiger Woods didn’t win this weekend at the BMW Championship – as usual – but he did manage to make headlines during the event. In fact, the reason he was in the news on a packed, exciting sports weekend full of boxing, football and baseball happenings had a lot to do with why he didn’t win the tournament. Woods was assessed a two-shot penalty during Friday’s second round because it was deemed by Slugger White, vice president of competition at the PGA Tour, that Woods caused his ball to move when attempting to remove debris near it behind the first green. Rule 18-2a. stipulates that if a player causes his ball to move, it's a one-stroke penalty. Woods was assessed a second stroke to the penalty because he did not return the ball to its original position. However, he still doesn’t believe that he did anything wrong and disagrees with the penalty. "I was pretty hot because I felt like nothing happened," Woods said. "I felt like the ball oscillated, and that was it. I played the rest of the round grinding my tail off to get myself back in the tournament and then go from 5 to 7 behind, that was tough.” He and tour officials watched footage of the incident and came to decidedly different conclusions about the actions that led to Woods trailing Jim Furyk by four strokes despite shooting a 5-under-par 66 in the third round at Conway Farms Golf Club. "They replayed it again and again and again, and I felt the same way,” Woods continued. "After seeing the video I thought the ball just oscillated, and I thought that was it. I thought that was the end of story. But they saw otherwise." Rules officials were adamant that the ball moved and didn’t merely oscillate – defined as “to move or swing back and forth at a regular speed” – as Woods claimed. The word of the player is typically taken in rules disputes, but it wasn’t in this case because there was video of the incident. Even without the penalty, Woods wouldn’t have won and that has become a familiar sight on tour………

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