- Doping and cheating in sports clearly know no bounds.
Athletes at every level of every sport are willing to go to any length
necessary to gain an edge, be it from a pill, syringe, bottle, cream, lozenge
or other method of delivery. Just as the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency how far the cheaters will go because they are not
only battling the likes of Lance Armstrong, Tyson Gay and other cheaters at the
top level of Olympic sports, but they’re locking horns with corner-cutters like
80-year-old weightlifter Don Ramos of Colorado Springs, Colo. Ramos tested
positive for steroids while attempting to set a world record in his age group
at the Pan American Masters Weightlifting Championships in June and yes, USADA
does testing for geezer sporting events where Ben-Gay and Centrum Silver are
coursing through everyone’s veins and that certain blue crank enhancer pill is
as common as water. The event is actually for athletes 35 and older, putting
Ramos at more than twice the age of some of the competitors in the event’s
youngest age bracket. Masters events have seen a rise in doping - shock of all
shocks because aging athletes trying in vain to hold onto their former glory
never seek shortcuts - and USADA was contracted to test at the event. Ramos
tested positive for a banned substance, although neither the event nor USADA
confirmed what steroid was in his system. Regardless, Ramos cannot compete
until July 2015 and joins a group of nine masters athletes who were suspended
by USADA two years ago, including one in his 50s and three in their 60s. Wonder
what made Ramos suspicious, given that he is an 80-year-old dude trying to lift
nearly twice his body weight……..
- Publishers Clearing House commercials are supremely annoying. They
always seem completely staged and fake, but clearly they’re real….sort of and
sometimes. At least the one that took place Thursday morning in Moro, Ill. was
real, as Michael Miller can attest. Miller was hanging at his home, as
unemployed people tend to do on weekday mornings, when a knock at his door
roused him from his lazy start to the day. “Come on out Michael,” said
Publishers Clearing House executive Dave Sayer. “Guess what? You
just won $5,000 a week forever from Publishers Clearing House.” Miller was
rendered speechless by the proclamation, but his sister screamed: “Are you
kidding me?” Yes, having a member of your family become the youngest-ever
individual to win the Forever Prize can have that effect. Miller is proof that
ordering something from Publishers Clearing House, which theoretically still
exists even though no one actually reads or subscribes to magazines any more,
can lead to good things. He recently ordered the “World War II” magazine and
entered the sweepstakes and now that he’ll be getting a weekly stipend for the
rest of his life, he won't have to live with his mother any longer. Miller lost
his job last year and his mother works a minimum-wage job. To top off their
special day, Publishers Clearing House also picked up roses and balloons. After
being given his giant, fake check, Miller said first thing he will do with the
money is buy a brand-new vehicle………
- Blasting awards shows is common practice among musicians,
with motivations for the verbal assaults coming from snubbed nominees, snubbed
non-nominees, booed performers and ass holes who just want attention. The MTV Video Music
Awards are an easy target because they are a giant pile of crap full of
horrible mainstream pop artists all trying to out-stunt each other and do
something insane so the world is talking about them the next day. This year, it
was Miley Cyrus continuing her quest to remind the world that she’s not Hannah
Montana anymore by twerking in a skin-colored bikini and grinding on Robin
Thicke while ignoring the fact that she still has no musical talent whatsoever.
But that’s not what has Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins livid and then
some. No, Hawkins said the VMAs, “Don’t mean f*cking sh*t” because Jared Leto
revealed that his band 30 Seconds To Mars were forced to accept their award for
Best Rock Video before the ceremony began live transmission. Hawkins was asked
about the subject and didn’t seem too pleased. "I don't care, man. Who
cares? I mean, those awards are nice, but they don't f*cking mean shit. I make
a living playing rock n’ roll. I'm not going to complain about anything."
It’s a fair point and a band as big as Foo Fighters don’t need any respect or
validation from MTV, although frontman Dave Grohl recently teased that the
band's next album, the follow-up to 2011's 'Wasting Light,’ will "not be a
conventional record" and subsequently hinted that the album will be
recorded in some kind of groundbreaking way. Grohl added that recording has not
yet begun and that a 2014 release date is likely, giving Hawkins more time to
talk about just how much he hates award shows……..
- If we’re unlucky, we know one of those kooks who owns a
metal detector and can typically be found down at the beach waving it around
and hoping to recoup the $100 they paid for it with a steady stream of lost,
corroded earrings, pennies and bottle caps found in the sand. A metal detector
enthusiast discovering one of Northern Ireland's biggest hauls of terrorist
weapons "in years" is not going to help reduce the number of morons
coming beaches around the world in search of buried treasure. This fool found
16 n modern semi-automatic handguns and 800 rounds of ammunition near Belfast
on Saturday, detective superintendent Glenn Wright from the Serious Crime
Branch of the Police Service of Northern Ireland said in a statement. "The
recovery of these weapons has undoubtedly thwarted the attempts of criminals to
inflict death, injury and misery on the community,” Wright said. This
unidentified loser discovered the cache of weapons near a school after he picked
up a signal on his hand-held detector. While police were tight-lipped about the
find, Northern Ireland's deputy First Minister, Martin McGuinness took
to Twitter to praise the discovery of the arms. He and others believe
the weapons may have been used by one of Northern Ireland's paramilitary groups
opposed to peace deals between Britain and Ireland. "Good news that
16 hand guns have been recovered by Police in East Belfast, they deserve our
thanks," the Sinn Fein leader wrote. "Public now need to know who had
them?" Other politicians speculated that the supply of guns was
buried just a few inches beneath the surface in a five-gallon oil drum that was
placed in its shallow hole recently. Now whoever buried them will have to go
through the trouble of importing a new stockpile of guns and ammo………
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