Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Walmart surprises, kicking out Gypsies and Shaq-tastic pun time in Sacramento


- Twitter and Facebook have become central avenues through which bands and recording artists from all genres can connect with their fans. Psychedelic/indie rockers MGMT want that to stop. Ben Goldwasser and Andrew VanWyngarden believe it is unhealthy for bands to share too much information on social networks because it removes an element of mystery that make artists interesting to fans. The duo explained that they are uncomfortable with feeling like they are expected to update fans constantly with information and revealed that they held off starting an MGMT Twitter account until earlier this year. "People have come to expect that from the artist, that they should be sharing every aspect of their lives," Goldwasser said. "It dilutes the whole thing in a way, and I don't know if it'll ever be the same again where there were people like David Bowie. Who really knew anything about David Bowie? He was able to craft this mysterious image that wasn't really him but this character [Ziggy Stardust] he created. You don't know how much of it was him or the character. That's something that is getting lost." Goldwasser conveniently ignored the fact that Bowie existed in a bygone era and made much less money living in the 1970s, plus he probably would have used the hell out of social media if it had existed back then because he continues to be a prima donna with a massive ego and a total attention whore who loves people worshipping him. VanWyngarden piled on, using the helmet-wearing French tools of Daft Punk as an example of an act who are doing things the right way. "It's not like we're wearing masks. I think that's what's so incredible about Daft Punk, how complete their myth is and impenetrable their image is – it's pretty amazing,” VanWyngarden said. “That's not where we're at, but I'm happy that there is some mystery and questions around our band." Of course, none of this is about promoting MGMT’s eponymous third album, released last week……..


- Can bureaucratic committees save the environment? The good people of the Climate Commission, axed last week by the Australian government, intend to find out. The commission, which focuses on keeping information about global warming prominent in the public arena, will return to life thanks to an infusion of private funding. Professor Tim Flannery, one of the group’s leaders, is enthusiastic about the future of the Australian Climate Council, as the group will now be known following ''a groundswell of support'' across the country. “We've developed a real reputation for independence and authority in this area, and we just want to continue with that job. We haven't seen any plans from the government to provide an alternative,'' he said. Among the items on the agenda for the environmental leaders of Australia’s tree-hugging sect are repealing several climate change policies of the Rudd and Gillard governments, such as the carbon price, the Climate Change Authority and the $10 billion Clean Energy Finance Corporation. To replace them, the group plans a $2.55 billion so-called direct action scheme to pay polluters to reduce greenhouse gas emissions to meet a bipartisan goal of lowering Australia's emissions by at least 5 percent of 2000 levels by 2020. Climate scientist Will Steffen and former BP Australasia president Gerry Hueston are among the six commissioners who will tackle these major issues, but they will have to do so with a budget that is a mere  $5.4 million for four years, a figure that will be considerably smaller under the private revamp. ''We've already had some people step up already, and we've got every chance that this will work,'' Flannery said. The source of the private funding was not identified, although retired Adm. Chris Barrie is among the group’s supporters. Flannery made it clear he would like to work with Australia’s newly elected government, but noted that his organization’s role is largely educational…….


- Let the era of finding ridiculous ways to work the name “Shaq” into Kings-related puns begin in Sacramento. The walking attention grab that is Shaquille O'Neal has moved from hawking every product whose maker has $5 to wave his way to using his hard-earned dollars to purchase a minority stake in a team he used to hate. Yes, the former Los Angeles Lakers star now owns a chunk of the Sacramento Kings. He has been consulting with the Kings since the summer, when majority owner Vivek Ranadive asked him to mentor young big man DeMarcus Cousins. "We're creating the next-generation franchise here, the first franchise of the 21st century," Ranadive said of O’Neal’s addition. He then said, wholly unnecessarily, that O'Neal came up with the "Shaqamento" Kings that O’Neal has been tossing around. "That was Shaq, that was all Shaq," Ranadive said. "He's a poet. He's a great poet." O’Neal is decidedly not a poet and a pretty crappy rapper as well, but he sealed the deal with Ranadive after the eccentric billionaire had the man of many nicknames over to his house for a day and was wowed by O’Neal’s knowledge on a variety of topics. A dash of dating advice for the owner's daughter and social media assistance for his son helped O’Neal’s case despite the fact that he famously labeled his then-rivals the "Sacramento Queens" after a tense seven-game Western Conference finals in 2002. "I was just trying to market the game, bring attention to the game," O'Neal said. "It was nothing personal. We were not really scared of the Sacramento Kings, but scared of the environment. ... It was a tough place to play. We want to bring that energy and bring that excitement back." O’Neal or not, the Kings have a shaky foundation as they try to build around the erratic, troubled Cousins, a 23-year-old center who personifies the term “head case.” That’s the foundation being counted on to break a seven-year sabbatical from the playoffs………


- Way to be, France. Keep up that crusade against the Gypsies and drive them out of your beautiful, snooty country. French Interior Minister Manuel Valls knows this to be true and it’s why he vowed to keep up France’s campaign to expel people of Roma origin from the country on the grounds that they have a lifestyle that is in "confrontation" with that of the French and should return to Romania or Bulgaria. Valls also defended the French government's policy of dismantling the camps of the Roma, who are also known as Gypsies. Even though critics say the policy is racist against the more than 20,000 Roma in France, Valls is having none of it. "I approved the dismantling of these veritable slums that represent a danger both for the people of Roma origin, but also of course the people who live in working-class neighborhoods," Valls explained. "These populations have lifestyles that are very different from ours, and are clearly in confrontation.” Valls added that few Roma could integrate into French society. His remarks will undoubtedly fuel further heated debate about France's treatment of the Roma, who face discrimination across Europe, mostly because they’re annoying as hell and swarm to tourist-heavy areas to beg for money. Sweden is taking heat for compiling a secret, possibly illegal registry of more than 4,000 Roma, including children. France has taken it a step further, pushing to keep Romania and Bulgaria from gaining full access to Europe's Schengen zone, which allows passport-free travel. Romania and Bulgaria are set to accede to the 26-nation zone on Jan. 1, but French Prime Minister Jean-Marc Ayrault has called for a two-step admission process — first by air travel, then by overland or sea travel borders. Opposition party leader Jean-Francois Cope has expressed similar sentiments and it is obvious by this point that France ain’t f*cking around with no Gypsies…….


- Shopping at Walmart often results in a person getting more than they bargained for. However, it rarely leads to anyone getting enough money to pay their Walmart bill for the next couple months. That, however, was the experience for a Salem, Ore. resident who bought a box of snicker doodle cookies from a local Walmart on Saturday. When he opened the box in his kitchen, he received a big surprise in the form of two $100 bills. "When I opened it up, a $100 bill popped out," the man, who wished to remain anonymous, said. His initial response was to think that the money was either fake or some sort of unknown promotional ploy on the part of the cookie company. When he looked closer, he found the money to be real and hoping that he may have struck gold, he quickly returned to the store and checked out other boxes of cookies on the same shelf. "The remaining three boxes were still there, so I looked at the one and I looked at the other, and lo and behold, there was a second $100 bill," he added. Sadly, there were only two free Benjamins to be had and an incredulous recipient took both boxes to the customer service desk to inform the indifferent employees who staff the desk of his find. Presumably after waiting for 45 minutes behind people returning half-eaten boxes of food and month-old clothes they’ve worn 10 times, he reached the front of the line and the employee who helped him confirmed that the bills were real. Walmart management decided to let the man keep the money and they also identified a possible culprit in the case. This past Christmas, someone came in and anonymously paid for several families' layaway items, so perhaps this same person decided to return outside of the holiday season and continue to make a positive impact on the People of Walmart. The over/under on time it will take Walmart shoppers nationwide to begin raiding the cookie aisle and ripping open boxes in the hopes of striking it rich has probably already been eviscerated by the under (15 minutes), so don’t even bother jumping into the mix because the party has already started without you…….

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