- YouTube just might have a useful purpose after all. While posting videos of you and your friends doing stupid stunts on home video, doing cheesy covers of lame songs or filming your beloved pet in the midst of wacky hijinks may seem worthwhile to you, law enforcement officials in New York City may be making use of YouTube-posted clips to investigate three separate cases of police brutality that occurred in the city in the past few weeks. The videos show officers brutally beating civilians with their batons, or in one case, violently knocking a protestor off his bicycle in Times Square. Two of the confrontations were caught on amateur video which was then posted on YouTube. That footage may be used to determine who will face criminal charges - police or civilians. Now I know it’s inconceivable that law enforcement officials in these here United States (cough, Rodney King, cough) would use excessive force (cough, Amadou Diallo, cough), but I’m asking you to suspend your disbelief for a moment and perhaps take the word (or film) of some random dude on the street over that of some portly, doughnut-scarfing New York City cop. It’s a big leap, but try and make it…….
- Wow. I knew the messy showdown between Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers had grown into a conflict of mythical proportions, but I had no idea that it was this serious. Apparently the Packers are so concerned with the potential fallout from squaring off against one of their most legendary (and legendarily selfish and self-centered) players that they felt the need to hire former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer as a consultant. With Favre busy arriving at and leaving Packers camp in a huff, the team hired Fleischer as a consultant, presumably to help them manage the fallout from the saga. You know it’s bad when you’re bringing in former White House press secretaries to smooth things over. Not that Fleischer is an especially noteworthy White House PR honk; he did serve under W., our most inept and incompetent president by a wide margin. Then again, dealing with the never-ending string of debacles brought to bear by this administration almost qualifies you to handle any mess…..
- Have I or have I not been saying for months that we need to make a concerted effort to get Tasers into the hands of more Americans? If I haven’t been saying it, I’ve definitely been thinking it, and with good reason. Who among us hasn’t been out on a long road trip and for some reason needed a Taser? Maybe another motorist pissed you off, maybe someone at a rest stop took the last Snickers bar from the vending machine or maybe your kids or spouse are just working your last nerve. In those situations, it would be infinitely helpful to be able to break out your Taser and take care of business. Who knows, maybe pulling it out would send enough of a message that you wouldn’t even have to use it. But you could use it if need be, deliver that nice jolt to someone who is giving you trouble. Thankfully, TravelCenters of America are thinking along those very lines. In addition to offering fuel, hot showers, satellite radio systems and truck repairs to weary travelers, these oases of goodness will now offer travelers a chance to get their Taser on. Taser International and TravelCenters of America are teaming up to sell the products at 163 truck stops nationwide, which is a nice start. I say we expand this so that people everywhere, in every state, county, city and town can purchase their own Taser at the nearest truck stop, rest stop or convenience store. Seriously, what could possibly go wrong with this situation?
- Since when is $43.8 million a bad box office weekend? When you’re The Dark Knight and you’ve been breaking every earnings record in sight, that total is still respectable but it’s a bit of a step down from your previous weekends. That tally was still enough to leave Batman and Co. atop the movie heap, beating out a movie that Dark Knight is a thousand times better than, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. That crap-fest raked in an undeserved $42.4 million despite bad writing and terrible acting. Coming in third was Will Ferrell’s new comedy Step Brothers with $16.3 million, followed by Mamma Mia! ($13.1 million) and Journey to the Center of the Earth ($6.8 million). Incidentally, Dark Knight hit a domestic earnings total of $396 million, meaning it will have broken the $400 million mark by the time this week ends. Hopefully this upward trajectory in the earnings standings will catapult it past four of the worst hours of my life, Titanic, and into the top spot for all-time earnings by a movie….
- I have a college football prediction that’s virtually ironclad. The Georgia Bulldogs, currently the No. 1 team in the nation courtesy of the preseason polls, will not only stay there but will become one of college football’s elite programs for years to come. At this point, you’re probably figuring I’ve scoured the preseason college football magazines, researched the Bulldogs’ schedule, broken down their returning starters and evaluated their offensive scheme for this season. You’d be wrong. I have been poring over a lot of data and research on the Bulldogs, but it there were no scouting reports or schedules involved. No, my research was heavy on one thing: police reports. As any elite college football program worth its salt knows, if you want to be the best, you had better stock your roster with as many shady characters with criminal tendencies as possible. You don’t want murderers or sexual offenders, but a nice mix of assaulters, underage drinkers, thieves and cheaters will do. In short, you need players like Darius Dewberry, who on Monday became the sixth Georgia football player suspended for part of the 2008 season. Georgia coach Mark Richt made the announcement at the Bulldogs' preseason news conference, but at the rate he’s going with these suspensions he should just write out an official statement, leave the name blank and fill it in when the offense happens. Dewberry’s offense is actually a pretty funny one, assuming you’re not a parking lot gate. Dewberry was spotted on a hospital video surveillance breaking a parking lot control arm and kicking over and breaking four plant container pots at St. Mary's Hospital early Saturday morning. He left the scene that night and was described by police as, “a black male wearing khaki pants,” (a very thorough description, to be sure) and was being sought for criminal damage to property. Fortunately for my man Darius, the hospital is not pursuing charges after he agreed to pay for the damages, which were estimated to be about $2,100. He will also pay by being suspended for the first two games, complete 10 days of physical conditioning punishment that will begin at 5:30 a.m., do 20 hours of community service and undergo counseling. He has plenty of company on the police blotter from his teammates. Safety Donavon Baldwin and long snapper Jeff Henson were suspended for alcohol-related offenses during the weekend. Eight players have been arrested by police in 2008, although charges against one were thrown out. Eight is not a number you want in the “Arrest” column. The All-American column, yes, arrests no. Let’s shoot for double-digits, Georgia players. I know you have it in you….
No comments:
Post a Comment