Sunday, August 10, 2008

Using national parks for something good, CSI's new lead man search and cars running on air

- CSI fans, say hello to your newest crime scene investigator, Morpheus. Yes, Laurence Fishburne is taking over for William Peterson, a.k.a. Gil Grissom, as the top dog on the show that has spawned dozens and dozens of spin-offs for CBS including CSI: Chula Vista, CSI: Bismarck and CSI: Pawtucket. As Peterson’s character tapers off at the beginning of this coming season, it will be the man who led Neo down the path to conquer the Matrix that will take his place. Fishburne has been among the network’s top three choices for much of the search and now he has apparently beaten out John Malkovich and Kurt Russell for the role. I stopped watching the show years ago, so I don’t care much one way or the other who ends up with the gig. Just as long as that man can keep the show going long enough to spin off a half-dozen more shows in places like Myrtle Beach, Youngstown, Morgantown and Roanoke…..

- Leave it to tiny little Mauritania to show us here in the United States the way. We’ve been unable to oust our most inept, dishonest and incompetent president from office since he was elected in 2000, yet a tiny nation on the west coast of Africa can get the job done? Doesn’t seem right, does it? Army commanders in Mauritania ousted the country’s first freely elected president in decades Wednesday after a bitter, prolonged battle about his fitness to serve. At issue are President Sidi Ould Cheikh Abdallhi’s ties to a despised, disgraced former Mauritanian dictator and his relationships with Islamic radical groups. The ouster marks the latest step in the conflict over how to govern the people of the tiny desert nation. However, I choose to see it as a sharp indictment of the United States because even if this guy has ties to despised dictators and Islamic radicals, he’s nowhere near as big a tool as our president, yet we can’t oust W. from office? We should be ashamed of ourselves, America…..

- Great. The Chinese spent tons of money on fireworks and lights, jammed 91,000 people into the butt-ugly debacle of an Olympic stadium they threw up in Beijing and held the costliest and most extravagant opening ceremonies in the history of the Games. Can we now get on with the actual competition that is only slightly more meaningful and relevant than the pointless opening ceremonies? Yes, there were hundreds of dancers and acrobats, lots of pyrotechnics and a gymnast who appeared to be suspended in mid-air lit the Olympic torch. True, the 639-member Chinese team entered last, led by 7’6 NBA star Yao Ming. How any of that matters one damn bit to the outcome of the games, I don’t know. How it’s anything other than a waste of nearly five hours of your time, I don’t know. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if you watched the entire broadcast, you are officially a loser. The opening ceremonies aren't packaged and intended for the same people who love actual sports. I hate to term it this way, but the opening ceremonies are chick-flick TV. The dudes who are hunkering down for NFL preseason games, pennant race baseball and March Madness aren't the ones who are down with the “pageantry and majesty” of the Olympic opening ceremonies. So thanks for wasting millions of dollars on a glorified fireworks show, China, that’s the way to show you’re a true world power….

- T. Boone Pickens may have been more on the money than any of us knew when he touted wind power as the next big thing in energy for America. Not only will wind power be harnessed to power our homes and business, it may also be powering some of the cars on our nation’s roadways as soon as 2010. That’s when a car fueled by compressed air, getting 106 miles per gallon, is scheduled to become available in the United States. The car was designed by MDI, a European company founded in 1991 by a French inventor and former race car driver. This week, New York-based Zero Pollution Motors became the first American company to obtain a license from DMI to produce the “air car” in the U.S. The production plans for the vehicle currently call for the first models to be sold in 2010 at a price of less than $18,000. Gas still plays a role in the car’s power, so don’t think this is entirely air-based. A fuel tank holding eight gallons of gas will be part of the design, with the vehicle using the fuel only when it exceeds 35 mph. The compressed air system is similar to that of a locomotive, except it doesn’t use steam. The six-seater can reach speeds of 90 mph and has a range of 800 miles thanks to that dual-energy engine. It’s a great concept, assuming you don’t want to go above 90 mph and don’t mind living with the kinks that inevitably come when a new type of car is introduced….

- All I can say is that it’s about f’ing time. For too long, our government has set aside hundreds of acres for national parks and all they get used for is outdoor activities like camping and hiking. On top of that, there are large chunks of many national parks that no one uses at all (other than animals) because they’re too remote and inaccessible. So thank goodness that some enterprising illegal immigrants are making good use of that vacant, unused land by growing fields full of ginormous marijuana plants. This activity is taking place in Sequoia National Park out in California, where hundreds of millions of dollars in marijuana plants are being grown by illegals with strong ties to Mexico’s biggest drug cartels. Predictably, the stiff, no-humor-having bureaucrats are not down with this inventive use of previously unused land. “People who farm this now are not doing this for laughs, despite the fact that Hollywood still thinks that,” snapped one official involved with an operation involving federal, state and local officials who are looking to wipe out these weed fields. So far, this operation has destroyed 420,000 plants with an estimated street value of more than $1 billion. That’s just in the past eight days, mind you. Some of these plants are over five feet tall and planted in fields with approximately 10,000 other marijuana plants. One field alone could yield enough of a harvest to have a street value of $40 million. What gets me is that many of these fields are a 2-4 hour hike from the nearest road, so why the hassle? These “farmers” are trudging all the way out there to plant and cultivate their crop and you can’t leave them alone? Just another example of The Man holding us down. Oh, and don’t you dare go taking passing shots at Hollywood for having fun with stoner humor, because that’s a direct assault on Pineapple Express and everyone knows it. Grow a sense of humor, law enforcement….

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