Wednesday, August 27, 2008

NFL preseason injuries, the Rock Hall becomes a bigger joke and rappers v. cheerleaders

- Kicking off the fall TV season, last night’s season premiere of Greek was a good one. While I’m still amazed that the show is in its third season and so far we still haven’t progressed through an entire calendar year in the show’s fictional world, I’m going to suspend that amazement and enjoy the fun, wacky goodness that is life at Cyprus Rhodes University. The wackiness centered on the Greek Olympics this week, which saw all of the houses on campus competing for the title. The Kappa Taus were in fine form, recruiting Rusty and Ben Bennett for the human wheelbarrow portion of the contest and using a cheer ripped off from a teen chick flick cheerleading film for the cheerleading portion of the competition. Rusty, unfortunately, ran afoul of the brothers for hanging out too much with pal Calvin, a pledge at rival Omega Chi. The two had made a pact to hang out more and not allow their different houses to come between them anymore, but a plan to hang out and see Ben Hur with the ever-annoying Dale was scuttled by Cappie, who forbade Rusty from seeing his buddy Calvin during Olympic week. That tension heightened when the Omega Chis ripped off the same cheer as the Kappa Taus for the competition, leading to more suspicion for Rusty. He wasn’t the only pledge having trouble; Zeta Beta pledge Rebecca Logan was in even hotter water. After her spring break wet t-shirt contest antics in last season’s finale, she faced discipline from the sorority and received a community service punshment. Her response? Get drunk and splash around in the fountain outside a posh gathering held by the university president. That stunt resulted in a visit from ZBZ national consultant Tegan (Charisma Carpenter), who agreed with Casey Cartwright’s decision to boot Rebecca from the sorority. However, Casey changed her mind at the last moment, talked Rebecca into staying and stood up to Tegan. With her status as sorority president still on an interim basis, she staked her rep on Rebecca cleaning up her act. Cleanng up their act wasn’t what Evan, Casey’s ex, and her big sis at ZBZ, Frannie, had in mind. Their romance, which took root at spring break, continued this week, with both agreeing to keep a lid on things - until sharing a kiss at the closing ceremonies for the Greek Olympics for everyone to see, including Casey. The ZBZ’s and Omega Chi’s both won the Olympics, with the Omega Chis needing to cheat during the tricycle race (Evan shoving Cappie off the road). All told, it was a fun return to campus for Greek, kicking off a third season that should be full of drama…..

- Pvt. Robin Long may be headed to prison for a 15-month sentence, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong for what he did - far from it. Long’s courageous decision to flee the U.S. Army after seeing the debacle in Iraq firsthand was the right one, even if he’s been found guilty of desertion. The 25-year-old Long left the Army and took up residence in Canada, the very place I’ve always had an interest in taking an extended vacation if our idiotic Congress ever reinstituted the draft, if you catch my drift. He was hit with those desertion charges and appeared in a courtroom in Fort Carson, Colo. to answer them. Long told the military judge presiding over his sentencing that he left the country over moral objections to what he believes to be an illegal war. Couldn’t be more with you, Robin. It’s unjustified, illegal, unethical and pretty much any other derogatory adjective you want to use to describe it. Personally, I’d say W., Dick Cheney and any other administration stooge who had anything to do with making this war happen should be the ones going to jail, but America isn't a nation where justice is always served - in fact, it’s a rarity. So do your time with dignity and allow the fact that you are 100 percent right encourage you during the next 15 months, amigo…..

- When I hear that a second-tier rapper like Da Brat has violently assaulted an Atlanta Falcons cheerleader at an Atlanta club, a variety of thoughts go through my mind. First, was it a strip club? The majority of cheerleaders for pro sports teams appear to work at strip clubs, so you’d have to figure the odds are high on that one. Second, are there pictures? Third, is there any situation where two less-likeable individuals could be involved in a brawl? First, you have Da Brat, who is about as ghetto as they come for hip-hoppers. She’s a subpar rapper who’s been around for more than a decade, a thug in a way that just isn't cool for a chick and someone who I’d pay no more than zero dollars and zero cents to see in concert. In fact, if she weren’t blasting Falcons cheerleaders in the head with full liquor bottles at clubs, I wouldn’t be discussing at all. But there she is, going upside the dome of an unidentified cheerleader with said liquor bottle, causing head injuries and earning three years in prison, seven years’ probation, 200 hours of community service and anger-management classes. As for the assaulted cheerleader….cheerleaders from pro teams are an entirely different animal than college cheerleaders, which I love. Women who cheer for pro teams slam on outfits that most strippers would reject for being too skanky, do dances that look like they belong on a stage with a pole and don’t lead any actual cheers. They’re misnamed, because what they really are is T&A for male fans, which is insulting to me as a guy. So when one of them is assaulted, I only feel kinda, sorta bad. Yes, this woman didn’t deserve to be blasted in the head with a tequila bottle, but she’s not exactly a sympathetic figure. So I guess my ultimate reaction to this story would be…..indifference? Let’s go with that……

- Did I or did I not say last week that I didn’t need any more proof that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was a totally lame joke of a museum that had as much rock credibility as My Little Pony and Care Bears? I said it, and dammit, I meant it. So it really wasn’t necessary for Hanson 2.0, a.k.a. the Jonas Brothers, to hammer that point home by visiting the museum in Cleveland and donating clothes from their latest album to its collection. Yet there were the three Hansons, er, Jonases, holding not one, but two news conferences and performing a three-song “sound-check party” for one of its tour sponsors, Verizon. There was the requisite cluster of hyperventilating, shrieking teenage girls at the museum, desperate for a glance of Jonas Brother A, B or C (I’ll bother to learn their actual names when their music stops sucking) and a picture that will go up immediately as the wallpaper on their computer and cell phone. Heck, how much rock cred can these guys have when their posse includes their parents and their little brother? Dude, I know at least one of you has to be old enough that you don’t need your mom and dad along on tour. As always, nice of the Rock Hall to keep its standard of musical credibility so ridiculously low that a herd of midgets could hurdle over it…..

- The NFL preseason jumped the shark a long time ago, but now we may be reaching a point where the league needs to seriously consider shortening the length of the exhibition (soryr NFL, you may not want to call it exhibition football, but that’s what it is) season. For several years now, the fact that fans are expected to pay regular-season prices for meaningless games where the starters often play one quarter or less has fueled the argument that something about the preseason needs to change. In fact, teams include preseason games in season ticket packages so fans have no choice but to buy the tickets for meaningless games if they want to see the ones that count. However, it’s a rash of injuries to star players in exhibition games that is behind the current push for a shorter preseason. The biggest injury to the biggest name is a torn lateral meniscus in the left knee that will force New York Giants defensive end Osi Umenyoira to miss the entire season. New Washington Redskins defensive end Jason Taylor’s strained knee will knock him out for two weeks and San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman could be out for the year as well with a preseason injury. These are just three of a litany of injuries to major names that have many in the football world asking if it’s time to reduce the number of exhibition games for four per team (five for the two teams that play in the NFL’s Hall of Fame game each preseason) to three or even two. I agree with the idea wholeheartedly, both for the sake of fans who are getting ripped off on tickets for meaningless games and for players who are getting injured in those same contests. No one is going to miss the fourth preseason game - well, except for billionaire NFL owners who would lose money out of their pockets. And that is the only - ONLY - reason the setup won't change, because the greedy owners insist on being douche bags and screwing everyone else for their own benefit. Players don’t get paid for the preseason, so it doesn’t behoove them to have four exhibition games. Here’s one plea for the owners of the NFL to remove their heads from up their a**es and for once, do the right thing. Cut the number of preseason games, a-holes….

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