- In the most amazing development since drugs were found on Willie Nelson’s tour bus, Texas state troopers busted two men for possession of marijuana on board Snoop Dogg’s tour bus late last week. Ethan Calhoun, 27, and Kevin Barkey, 26, were charged with misdemeanor possession after police pulled the bus over because of an expired registration sticker. Ironically, the pair are the same ages as two women arrested last week for getting drunk, disrupting a flight from Greece to Manchester, England and brawling with flight attendants. Must be something about tandems of drunk/stoned people ages 26 and 27, they just love getting arrested together I suppose. Calhoun and Barkey were each freed after posting a $1,500 bond, but Snoop Dogg wasn’t arrested during the stop. The incident took place in Corsicana, Texas on Interstate 45, with Snoop and his crew making their way from one tour stop to another. Call me cynical, but I have to believe that Snoop not getting arrested for marijuana possession doesn’t mean he wasn’t getting high with the others, it just means he didn’t have Snoop not getting arrested for marijuana possession doesn’t mean he wasn’t getting high with the others, it just means he was able to pass his weed off to someone in his crew before the cops came on board, er, um, he didn’t have the drugs in his hands at the time of the incident. Bad music from American Karaoke, insane antics from Manny Ramirez and massive quantities of pot on Snoop Dogg’s tour bus….all things you can always count on in life.
- Fantasy football dorks, you have my deepest sympathies. One of the top wide receivers in all of fantasy football or real-life, on-field football is going to miss the first two games of the season because he just couldn’t keep himself from breaking a teammate’s face. Carolina Panthers wideout Steve Smith is a mighty mite, a 5-foot-9 fireball who has succeeded in the NFL and become one of the league’s best receivers despite his size, has been suspended for his team’s first two regular season games after punching teammate Ken Lucas in the face during a brawl in practice. Smith has a history of violent incidents, despite trying to renovate his image in recent years. In 2002, he punched another teammate in the face during a film session. This time, he and Lucas got into a fight at practice and Smith ended things with a blast to the face that broke Lucas’ nose. There is no video of the fight, so there’s no way to verify who started it or what transpired. However, the fact that the Panthers suspended their best player for two games and handed down no punishment to Lucas should serve as evidence that they place most of the blame on Smith. For his part, Smith has apologized to his coaches, teammates and fans, but I just don’t think it’s enough. While players often scuffle in training camp because it’s hot, practices are long and they’re tired, sweaty and sore, this is entirely different. This fight took place when action wasn’t going on, when both combatants had their helmets off. You can’t go around cold-cocking teammates because they piss you off. It might be the NFL, a unique workplace where physical aggression is part of the game, but this had nothing to do with playing that game. This is you not being able to control your temper and doing serious, intentional physical harm to a teammate that is borderline criminal. So you fantasy football dorks will just have to live with the fact that if you draft Smith, you won't have him in your lineup for the first two weeks of the season. Draft accordingly and hey, Smith might even slide a round or two lower in your draft because of the suspension, allowing you to get him at a bargain price….
- Stanley Kobierowski - dangerous, reckless criminal, medical marvel or world’s biggest alcoholic? The answer might be a little of all three, given the fact that Kobierowski is now on trial for a drunk driving arrest in which he is alleged to have sported a blood-alcohol content more than six times the legal limit. Something to admire about Kobierowski - if you can admire anything about a drunk driver - is that dude had the testicular fortitude to plead not guilty after registering a blood-alcohol level of .491 in a roadside test after being pulled over. You’re that drunk and you can stand up in court and say you’re not guilty, that takes guts and then some. According to the law enforcement officials involved in Kobierowski’s case, he has likely established a new record for the highest BAC without dying, which is something to hang your hat on. He’d be a hit at frat parties, a traveling freak show who could pound an entire 12-pack by himself and still drive - if he weren’t on his way to jail, that is. Maybe what you get out, look me up, Stanley, and we might be able to work something out. Just promise that you’ll let me do the driving….
- Don’t you just love it when quasi-famous people act like they actually matter and are A-list celebs? Me too. That’s why I was happy to see that Nikki Blonsky (who?), one of the stars of the movie version of Hairspray, was involved in an airport brawl with former America’s Next Top Runway Bimbo, er, Model contestant Bianca Golden (double who?). The fight took place at the Providenciales International Airport in the Turks and Caicos region of the Caribbean. The genesis of the brawl was Blonsky “holding” five seats for her family in the departure lounge, seats Golden wanted to use. That is annoying, the jerk who is holding a big block of seats in a movie theater or other public place, blocking people who need them from making use of them. If your friends or family can’t show up in a timely fashion, they don’t deserve a seat. That being said, getting into a catfight with a fellow passenger over the saved seats is something you’re not getting away with not if your Nikki Blonsky or Bianca Golden. Matt Damon, Russell Crowe or Scarlett Johannson, maybe. Both women ended up in court, charged with assault with actual bodily harm. Blonsky’s father Carl, who can’t show up in time to get his own damn seat but doesn’t seem to have a problem jumping into an ongoing airport lounge fight, was charged with grievous bodily harm for his role in the fight. The charge means that “the victim was injured so severely they needed immediate medical attention.” I think that when the dust settles, the important things to take from this unfortunate incident are 1) realization that you are Nikki Blonsky or Bianca Golden and not an actual celebrity, and 2) a nice vacation memory to laugh about in years ahead. You know, “Remember the time that other quasi-celebrity and I brawled in the airport in the Caribbean and ended up being charged with assault over something as dumb as saved seats?” Good times….
- Dammit, why does this keep happening? Every time I turn around, there’s another story of law enforcement somewhere in the world seizing a massive amount of drugs and putting a dent into an organization responsible for bringing those drugs to the masses. It’s almost as if cops across the globe don’t want these hard-working entrepreneurs whose product of choice just happens to be illegal narcotics and opiates to earn a living. Just this past Friday, police near Barcelona claim to have seized more than 700 pounds of heroin in a sting operation at a sports marina. Five people were arrested in the sting and the drugs seized in the raid have an estimated street value of $84 million. That’s great, Spanish cops, just great. Now the price of heroin is going to go up because the demand is the same and the supply is less. It’s simple economics and you’re ruining the system, you tools. Yes, heroin is one of the most dangerous, addictive and lethal drugs around, but who are you to keep it from those who want it? What, do you not want people OD’ing and/or dying because they took lethal doses of this drug? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you believe that you’re making the world a better place by taking drugs like heroin out of it….
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