- Maybe instead of trying for a series of clever rebuttal commercials to combat Apple’s “I’m a PC/I’m a Mac” ads, Microsoft should focus on not putting out an inferior product. No offense meant, I’m just trying to think creatively here. Word on the street is that Microsoft is courting funnyman Jerry Seinfeld with a $10 million offer to pimp its inferior operating system, Windows. Ironically, Seinfeld was always seen using a Mac on his self-titled sitcom during the ’90s, but that isn't stopping Microsoft from enlisting him to combat the commercial comedic team of Justin Long and John Hodgman. While those ads have run their course as far as I’m concerned and stopped being funny months ago, the fact is that when you get down to the facts, Apple’s Leopard operating system and even its predecessors are far, far superior to Windows. They don’t crash or lock up and they’re far easier to use. Leopard comes with cool, easy-to-use programs like iMovie, iDVD, iPhoto and Garage Band that allow you to produce professional-looking DVD’s, podcasts, movies and presentations, while Windows is a convoluted, non-sensical OS with a disturbing propensity to crash. So instead of pouring money into new commercials, why not work on making your product better, Bill Gates? Just thinking out loud…..
- I thought foreign diplomats were supposed to have carte blanche to do what they wanted, when they wanted while representing their country abroad. Commit traffic violations, sexually harass women, be drunk in public - no worries because diplomatic immunity covers your a**. Now that line of thinking has been thrown for a loop with the sentencing of ex-U.S. diplomat Gons G. Nachman to as much as 20 years in prison for taping his sexual encounters with teenage girls while stationed in Brazil and the Congo. While Nachman admitted to being a world-class perv, he had argued for leniency based on, among other things, the fact that sex with consenting teenage girls was more acceptable in other countries than in the U.S. because of cultural differences. The judge wasn’t buying it, giving Nachman the maximum possible sentence. I’m perplexed, not because Nachman’s excuse is legit, but because I didn’t think it made a difference if a diplomat had a legitimate excuse for his or her actions. Wipe the slate clean, look the other way; that’s how it’s supposed to work. That being said, you can't tell me that “it’s okay to sex it up with teenage girls in other countries” was your defense at your trial, Gons. You have to do better than that, dude. Say you thought the girls were 18, say you’re being framed, say something, anything other than it’s all right because in those countries hitting it with underage girls is acceptable. Oh, and have you learned nothing from the scores of celebrities and quasi-celebs who have been scandalized by sex tapes? You make a tape of yourself having sex with someone, you can go ahead and assume it’s going to be seen by people you don’t want to see it…..
- Welcome back to television, Ryan Atwood! Benjamin McKenzie, also known as Ryan Atwood on the now-deceased The O.C., is headed back to TV in LAPD, a drama pilot from John Wells, the director of ER, which is heading into its last season. Wells apparently is looking for his next project now that the interminable ER is about to end and McKenzie is getting back into TV for the first time since his stint as bad-boy-turned-bad-boy-in-rich-community Ryan Atwood on The O.C., which called it quits last year after four fun seasons. Now to the cynic, LAPD might sound like a blatant rip-off of a million other cop shows on TV with similar names, but maybe John Wells has a brand new take on the world of law enforcement that will wow us all….no, I don’t think so either.
- Wanna know something good protestors and activists don’t do? Sail into their protest destination, that’s what. Sailing in is the antithesis of the spirit of social dissidence, mostly because sailing reeks of privilege, upper-class living and sweaters tied around your neck. So to the activists who sailed into Gaza Strip last week to protest an Israeli blockade, I say this: nice try, but no. Don’t allow the fact that you received a jubilant reception from thousands of Palestinians delude you into thinking what you did was right or a good protest. The blockade has been in place since 2007, when Hamas seized Gaza and Israel reacted with a blockade that allows virtually nothing outside of humanitarian aid in. It has led to shortages in fuel, food and basic supplies, which obviously isn't sitting well with Palestinians. However, could no one lob a Molotov cocktail and the offending blockaders? What about getting your hands on a nice, rocket-propelled grenade? If all else fails, loot, riot, pillage and burn flags, that always helps. Plain and simple, you should not be sailing into anywhere as a means of social dissidence unless, and I stress unless, you are pirate activists. If and when protesting on behalf of all things pirate-y, sailing in is an acceptable means of protest and transportation for protests. Hope that’s clear so I don’t have to go over this again…..
- It’s here, finally. Major League Baseball has finally taken its head out of the sand and brought instant replay into the game. They’ve actually made a solid call by limiting the use of replay to disputed home run calls, as expanding it to safe/out calls on the bases, balls and strikes or catch/no catch on balls that players catch close to the ground would have put a major drag on the speed of games. If you’re reviewing every little questionable call, you’re going to have five-hour games and no one needs or wants that. Unfortunately, not every is intelligent enough to understand that replay is a good thing for baseball. Take noted cameraman-assaulter and cheater Kenny Rogers of the Detroit Tigers, a.k.a. The Roaster. The Roaster isn't down with replay, saying, “I don't like it. I think that it overshot the mark by far just because, what, in a Yankee game someone didn't get a homer? Please. It's happened thousands of times. That's part of the game. It's the beauty of the game. Mistakes are made.” What, Roaster, you mean like you shoving that cameraman who was half your size to the ground? Or that suspicious, pine-tar-resembling substance on your hand that cameras caught during the 2006 World Series? Those mistakes? Of course, the most hilarious part of the Roaster’s crack on instant replay was him trying to use this as an occasion to suck up to the umpires. “It's a slap in the face of umpires that have been here for a long time and they've done a very good job with difficult situations in all aspects,” the Roaster said. “So they made the call wrong once in a while. We've all done things wrong once in a while. For every human individual out there, we're all playing our best. We make errors. It's part of the game.” Nice try, Roaster. Trying to get a little more leeway on the strike zone and a more favorable outside corner of the plate when you pitch by “defending” the umpires in this debate is laughable. Your over-5.00 E.R.A. may be lousy, but you brown-nosing to help your case is lame. And since when are obvious, easily correctable errors that could change the outcome of an important game beautiful? These plays haven’t just happened during Yankees games, either. The play that spurred this on more than anything happened against the Yankees, when Carlos Delgado of the Mets had a home run ripped by the umpires that may have helped the Mets win against the Yankees. So stick to what you do best - cheating, assaulting cameramen and giving up home runs on a sub-.500 team, Roaster, and leave the important decisions to others…..
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