- So remember during the recent congressional hearing when Roger Clemens said he absolutely, positively was not at the 1998 party at Jose Canseco's house in Miami where he and Canseco allegedly discussed using steroids? As it turns out, Roger Clemens lied. Yes, I know it’s shocking, but apparently true. After going to great lengths to get to his family’s former nanny who could allegedly put him at that party with her testimony and shut her up, er, help the congressional committee locate her, Clemens clearly forgot to cover all of his bases. According to the New York Daily News, there is a photo of Roger Clemens at Canseco's house during the June 1998 party. Richard Emery, one of the lawyers for Clemens' former trainer, Brian McNamee, said he knew of the photo. “We have reason to believe it's reliable evidence,” Emery stated. “We believe there's photographic evidence that shows Clemens was at a party he says he wasn't at.” This party is a pivotal occurrence in the case against Clemens, as it’s mentioned in the Mitchell report and was a focal point during the Feb. 13 hearing before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. The Mitchell report features comments from McNamee about him witnessing Canseco, Clemens and a third, unidentified person talking together. He didn’t hear their conversation, but McNamee said that some time after the party, “Clemens approached [him] and, for the first time, brought up the subject of using steroids,” according to the report. Circumstantial evidence, maybe. But with all of the other evidence building up against Roid-ger, it takes on added significance. The bottom line here is that if it’s proved definitively that Clemens was at the part, which was hosted by Canseco for his Toronto Blue Jays teammates and their families while they were in town for a series against the Florida Marlins, he’s been caught in yet another lie because he has repeatedly denied being at Canseco's house for that event. But a young man reportedly has a photo of Clemens at the party, according to the Daily News. The man was just 11 years old at the time of the party, and took photos of various baseball players in attendance because they were his heroes, not because it was the birth of a steroids club that would ruin the rep of one of the alleged best pitchers of all time. McNamee has testified that he clearly recalls Clemens, his family and their nanny at Canseco's party, including describing the nanny as wearing a peach bikini and board shorts. Props on remembering the nanny’s outfit in such exquisite detail, McNamee, that doesn’t make you seem at all greasy or sleazy. In this case, though, he might be sleazy but he’s nowhere near as sleazy as the man he’s accusing. Keep fighting this one, Roid-ger, because the harder you fight, the deeper the hole you dig.
- Peru, you’re making me very proud. Peruvians did well Thursday when they went fell-on riot piling rocks and trees onto roads and blocking the track of a popular tourist train to protest two new laws passed by their government allowing more development near archaeological and historical sites. The blockage on the train tracks prevented a tourist train near famed historical site Machu Picchhu from makaing its scheduled runs. Good call on that one, Peruvian protestors. Hit the government where they’ll notice; in the wallet. Had you lit those road blockades on fire, you really would have been making a statement, but this is a good start. Also, you’re going to need to clash with police and force them to break out the riot gear if you plan on taking this to the next level. But I support your cause, because having your country or region turned into some cheesy tourist trap sucks, without a doubt.
- How to spend your offseason from the NFL after your team posts a disappointing year? Some guys might elect to hit the gym hardcore, dedicate themselves to improving their game and coming out next season looking to right their team’s ship. Other guys might decide to roll around in their whip with their brother, get high and cause a traffic accident. Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle Mike Patterson is one player who falls into the latter category and he’s now facing drug possession charges after being arrested in the southern New Jersey town where he lives. According to police reports, Evesham Township, N.J. police said Patterson, 24, was arrested along with his brother early on Feb. 16 after they approached a vehicle that had apparently been in a minor accident and smelled what appeared to be burning marijuana coming from the car. Believe it or not, Patterson and his brother, Tyrone Patterson, 28, were inside the car, and when police searched the vehicle, also found a small quantity of the hippie lettuce inside the car. The police then arrested and charged Mike Patterson with possession of marijuana under 50 grams and was released. But as with any good story of an athlete getting busted by the cops, the tale doesn’t end there because one of the knuckleheads they’re rolling with can’t let the cops get away with hassling their boy. Tyrone Patterson clearly did not like getting busted for weed possession and seeing his little bro get popped as well, so he fought the cops and ended up getting himself charged with resisting arrest. If you’re looking for a silver lining here, I guess you can score one for family unity. After all, the family that gets busted for possession of the chronic together stays together, right? Well, they stay in jail for the night, anyhow. Well done, Patterson Bros., this looks like the start to a very productive offseason.....
- B.O. is running wild in the Democratic Party, continuing to rip the nomination from the mannish hands of Sen. Hank Clinton. Barack Obama is not only ahead in delegates on his way to the 2,125 needed to secure the party’s nomination, he’s also narrowing the gap in terms of superdelegates, the Democratic officeholders and party officials who automatically attend the convention and are free to vote for whomever they choose. In the past two weeks alone, 25 superdelegates have gotten behind Obama and others who were previously supporting Clinton have declared themselves now undecided as to who they will vote for. Better yet, none of Obama’s previously committed superdelegates have backed off of supporting him. Many delegates are citing the wishes of the people as the reason for their change of heart. They say that it’s important for them to support the candidate that the people choose. If I may be so bold as to speak on behalf of all voters and to the superdelegates, I would say this: Please, please don’t vote for Hank Clinton. That dude scares us and Hank’s femi-Nazi ways are not what we want in a leader. Barack Obama may have his flaws, but we’ll take him over Han eight days a week. So c’mon, America, we’ve got the B.O. train rolling, let’s give it as much momentum as possible so it runs right over Hank and keeps on going!
- Prepare for a deluge of coloring books, Curious George tomes and lots of Cat in the Hat literary works, Southern Methodist University. The Dallas-based school has been given the dubious honor of being the site of W’s presidential library, a decision made over the anguished cries of faculty and students who don’t want their school to be home to the library of the worst president in world history. I actually happened to get an advanced look at the plans for this place and I have to admit that I too have concerns. For example, 3/4 of the shelf space is devoted to books on starting and maintaining unjustified wars while lying to the American people about the real reasons for said war. Also, there are no books in the entire place about a second-grade reading level. That’s real problem, because the library may be in honor of W., but that doesn’t mean its contents should reflect his deficient IQ. I do hope there’s room for books on “strategery” and on 1,001 ways to mangle the names of foreign leaders, because those are two topics that scream W. Sorry for your loss, SMU, I really am....
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