- Hey all, I’ve got great news. It looks like back when I called Kelvin Sampson a lying, cheating piece of crap, I was right. Yes, I ripped the current Indiana University head men’s basketball coach for doing the same shady things as IU coach that led the NCAA to impose heavy disciplinary sanctions on him from his actions as head coach at the University of Oklahoma. Sampson is one of the sleaziest, least scrupulous recruiters in college sports, breaking rules everywhere he goes. However, he’s also some kind of stupid based on his actions at IU. He went there knowing full well that the NCAA would be watching him closely because of his prior misdeeds, plus he had stipulations in his contract as to what would happen to him if he repeated his mistakes at Indiana. In spite of that, this piece of garbage kept making illegal phone calls to recruits and believing he could get away with that and other inappropriate actions. Now, it appears that his status as coach of Indiana's basketball team will be decided on game-by-game basis and the school decides on the right way to fire or suspend him. Discussions about whether Sampson would coach Wednesday night's game against Wisconsin went on as late as the afternoon preceding the game, according to a source close to the situation. Indiana (No. 12 ESPN/USA Today, No. 13 AP) could choose to suspend Sampson from coaching games while it figures out its options for dealing with him. Larry MacIntyre, the assistant vice president for university communications, said IU president Michael McRobbie has met with the school's legal counsel, the board of trustees and athletic director Rick Greenspan. The university is reviewing all of its legal options to avoid a lawsuit similar to what Ohio State went through with former men's basketball coach Jim O'Brie. O'Brien sued the school when he was fired before the NCAA had ruled on his case and he eventually won the lawsuit against Ohio State. Sampson could have a similar situation if he is terminated for cause prior to the NCAA officially ruling on a violation. Indiana has 90 days to respond to the enforcement staff's notice of allegations. A hearing in front of the committee on infractions won't occur until June, and a decision usually takes anywhere from a few weeks to a few months before it's rendered. Personally, I’d love to see this a-hole fired now because clearly he doesn’t get it or just doesn’t care and thinks he’s above the law. However, IU needs to make sure it does things the right way because they want this firing to stick and I definitely don’t want to see a sleazeball like Sampson get paid in a settlement because IU jumped the gun in firing him. You suck, Kelvin, and you’re a big part of what is wrong with college athletics.
- Presumably professional athletes, even the lowest-paid ones riding the far end of the bench, should be doing well enough financially that they don’t need to resort to a life of common crime, right? It’s a sensible thought, but the actions of two Montreal Canadiens hockey players who are also aspiring purse snatchers proves otherwise. Ryan O'Byrne, a rookie defenseman with the Canadiens, was charged with grand theft, while Tom Kostopoulos, a forward, was arrested for interfering with police during his teammate's arrest after O’Byrne allegedly thieved a woman’s purse at the Whisky Park bar. According to the police report, a woman at the bar noticed her purse was missing at about 3 a.m. Security personnel at the bar said they saw O'Byrne with the purse and the woman's cell phone, but when they questioned him, O'Byrne, 23, told police the purse and phone belonged to his girlfriend. Not surprisingly, when police dug a little further, they determined there was no relationship between the player and the woman. Upon searching the purse, they found that $20 was missing. Yes, an NHL player picked a woman’s purse for $20 bucks. Wise choice, moron. That had to be worth it, what with the fact that the per diem you guys get for food each day is three or four times that amount. However, the story doesn’t end there. After O'Byrne was placed in a police car, several players crowded around it and were told by police to get away. Kostopoulos, 29, was arrested for obstructing an officer. Memo to you, Tom: get out of the cops’ way. You make not like what they’re doing to your buddy, but they, for better or worse, are in charge. They can enforce laws and arrest people, specifically idiots like you who try to obstruct them and prevent them from doing their job, which includes arresting petty thieves like your teammate. I’d love to hear the conversation between O’Byrne and his buddies before he snatched the purse. “Hey guys, I know I’m a pro athlete and I make millions of dollars, but I’m going to steal that woman’s purse on the off chance she might have $20 bucks in there, and maybe I can nab her cell phone too.” What was this, some kind of dare or stupid rookie hazing ritual. Bad news for you, NHL: You already suck and are totally irrelevant on the sports landscape in this country. When your players turn into petty criminals, that’s not going to help make your sport one of the majors. Now if you want to escalate this to felony assault, drug possession, dogfighting, etc., then maybe we have a real conversation. But until then, just go away.....
- Patty Hurst used to be a bad ass chick, someone who had pulled bank robberies while waving a shotgun as a member of the Symbionese Liberation Army. at dog show, nice job loser
Back in February 1974, the 17-year-old Hearst was dragged out of her Berkeley apartment and held hostage by leaders of the Symbionese Liberation Army, who hoped to exchange her for members of the group in prison. They also demanded a pledge from the Hearst dynasty to give food to the poor. However, in the ultimate case of Stockholm Syndrome, Hearst spent two months with the SLA and decided that she was on their side. She was photographed at a bank heist, staged by the group, an assault rife slung over her shoulder.
When she was captured and sent to trial, her lawyers argued she had been brainwashed by her kidnappers. Hearst was eventually convicted and spent 22 months in prison before President Jimmy Carter commuted her sentence. Now she’s gone from militant revolutionary to....one of those fru-fru whack job dog owners who put sweaters on their pooches, buy them $500 doggie beds and feed them better food than most humans eat? Are you freaking kidding me? Sadly, there is no kidding here. Hearst took part earlier this week in the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden. Her French bulldog, named Diva, was entered in the show and Hearst was there with all of the other losers to put their dogs on short leashes, run around in circles and have judges lift up their tails and look at the dogs’ butts. “When people find out it's me, it's like it doesn't make sense," acknowledged Hearst. “The Frenchie people know me... but others, they seem surprised.” Yeah, we’re surprised and disappointed, P. You used to be a cool chick, a cult icon and a bad mama-jama. Now? You’re one of those people we all make fun of for treating your dog like it’s a human child. You used to be something, you used to be cool and tough. Now you throw it all away for a freaking dog show? Nice knowing you, Patty, but from here on out, I’m just going to do myself and you a favor and forget you ever existed.
- So how were the Grammys? No, it’s not a rhetorical question, I’m really asking you how they were. I don’t know firsthand because I made the über-smart decision to steer clear of that self-congratulatory, same-old, same-old crap fest wherein the same boring, blasé, hack artists that everyone already knows are recognized for awards that don’t mean diddly if you’re actually a fan of good music. Thankfully I can just read the recaps of the show and know what happened without having to suffer through the show itself. But just from reading who won, I can tell that without a doubt, the Grammys are still every bit as worthless as they have ever been. That the mumbling, non-enunciating lush Amy Winehouse won five awards tells me plenty. She’s so bad at slurring her lyrics that she makes Bob Dylan look lucid and well-understood by comparison and she sings about being a drunk, drug-addicted loser? Give her five awards! The former American Karaoke¬¬-er loser Carrie Undertoe, Underwood, whatever her name is, won two awards as well. Any show giving a single award for supposedly good music to a glorified karaoke-er from AK forfeits its validity on the spot, so that’s strike two. Then the Grammys had Tina Turner perform, strike three. Thanks for nothing, Grammys, I’ll continue to ignore you and recognize you as totally irrelevant when it comes to recognizing who the best artists in music are.
- It’s the ultimate case of Evil vs. Evil. Venezuelan dictator/despot Hugo Chavez facing in court against an equally evil, domineering, demonic entity - Big Oil. It’s Chavez v. Exxon Mobil in U.S., British and Dutch courts as the oil company seeks to seize billions of dollars in assets from Venezuela’s state-run oil company Petroleos de Venezuela SA. A British court has already issued an order freezing as much as $12 billion of the organization’s assets, which predictably didn’t sit well with the lunatic in charge of the country and thus the operations of Petroleos de Venezuela SA. “If you end up freezing (Venezuelan assets) and it harms us, we’re going to harm you,” threatened Chavez. “Do you know how? We’re not going to send oil to the United States. Take note, Mr. Bush, Mr. Danger.” Chavez made that threat because those looking to freeze the assets of Petroleos de Venezuela SA are acting in concert with the U.S. as the leader. I’d be careful making that threat, through, Hugo. I know you think you’re a total badass and that you’re untouchable, but consider what you’re saying. You want to cut off oil from the United States? Do you remember what happened last time W. thought our oil supply was in danger, er, there were weapons of mass destruction? He invaded that offending country and started and absolute abomination of a war that has no end in sight. So unless you want to run the risk of becoming the next Iraq, I’d rethink those threats. Just looking to help you out, bro, as part of my Outreach to Despotic Dictators program that I’m kicking off this month.....
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