One Tree Hill, time to rip W. and a dog napping downs a mayor

- A little better, One Tree Hill. After a lackluster start to the show’s fifth season when it returned to the air last month, last night’s episode was at least a slight improvement over the preceding one. Although the fact that every single character in the show was miraculously experiencing the same two moments as everyone else (a terrible nightmare of their worst fear come true and a moment when they were treated horribly and ended up calling someone a bitch), the episode wasn’t all bad. The central theme for the episode being bitchiness, the queen bitch, of course, was Brooke’s mom Victoria (Daphne Zuniga), who first ripped the first and only artist for Peyton Sawyer’s record company, Mia, before she heard more than five seconds of one of Mia’s songs. That caused Mia to run scared and left a befuddled Hayley and Lindsey in Victoria’s wake. Peyton was livid when she heard the news, but not just livid at Victoria. She also went off about Lindsey being around and sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, only the mic in the studio was on during her tirade and Lindsey heard the whole thing, thus convincing her that Peyton was a bitch as well. Elsewhere on the witch with a “b” front, Carrie, the über-hot nanny hired by Nathan and Hayley to help out around the house and with son Jamie was having her own bitchy run. When confronted by Hayley about not wearing a bikini in the pool because it wasn’t appropriate, Carrie took to openly flirting with Nathan when they were alone and going skinny-dipping late at night when she knew only Nathan would see her. Fighting back against the queen bitch was Brooke, who stood up to her mom, ordered her to stop interfering with the record label and tried to smooth things over only to be met with indifference by Victoria. Peyton also spread her bitchiness to Lucas, with everything boiling over when he visited her office late at night to ask that she apologize to Lindsey. That suggestion was shot down and it led to a doozy of a fight covering the entire blowup from Lucas’ failed marriage proposal three years ago in L.A. Lucas accuses Peyton of giving up on him and not believing he could achieve his dreams; in turn, she accuses him of giving up on their relationship by not waiting for her to be ready to marry him and throws copies of his novel at him. Even the littlest member of the show isn’t immune from the nightmare theme, with little Jamie being haunted by nightmares of his grandfather, Dan. On a lighter note, Mouth McFadden continues his cougar hunting, sleeping with his hot boss Alice even as tension between her and the TV station’s crew heightens and he’s caught in the middle. That Alice threatens to take him out of the running for an on-air reporter position if he cuts her off makes matters tougher for Mouth. All in all, a decent episode if not a great one. But when you’re one of the only shows running new episodes right now, it’s hard to look bad….so until next time….

- Never have six simple words more encapsulated the moronic thought process of the most inept president in U.S. history. W. is predictably reneging on a previous commitment to pulling American military personnel out of his own personal Vietnam, with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi nicely summing up the move by saying it shows the president’s “insistence on a war without end.” That just about sums it up. If W. could find a way to ensure that this war dragged on into infinity, even after his death, you know he’d take it. W.’s contention is that pulling out troops when he promised to and actually making good on his word might jeopardize security gains in Iraq. Why security gains in Iraq were ever our concern I still don’t know. It wasn’t a direct threat to us, that’s for sure. But the U.S. troop commitment is expected to remain around 130,000 for the time being, about the same number of troops that were there before the idiotic troop surge of last year and approximately 130,000 more than should be there. Clearly W. is intent on pushing his status as the worst president ever so far out of reach that no one who comes after him will have a chance to eclipse his ineptitude. The great thing now is that there is a ticking clock behind W. and come year’s end, his a** is out on the street and we can get a new leader in office with the intelligence, competence and testicular fortitude to end this debacle. Bring the troops home now, W., and you might have a chance of the country not hating your guts every day for the rest of your life….nah, I take that back, most of us will still hate you anyhow…..

- Of all the scandals to do a politician in, a dog-napping caper seems like one of the least likely. After all, what kind of mayor, president, governor or senator kidnaps someone else’s dog, gives it a different name and keeps it for more half a year? Oh, that’s right, Alice, Texas Mayor Grace Saenz-Lopez does. Now-former Mayor Saenz-Lopez nabbed Puddles, she Shih Tzu her neighbors had, last summer, kept the dog and renamed it Panchito. Better yet, she told the neighbors the dog had died and now claims that her actions were in the dog’s best interests. To top it off, the dog-napping scandal forced her to resign as mayor. A judge will now decide the fate of Puddles/Panchito, but this is hilarious. I mean yeah, a lot of us know someone who doesn’t treat their pets very well, but I don’t think too many among us kidnap that pet, tell our neighbors their animal is dead and then try to rename the animal and keep it as our own. What, you think the neighbors aren’t going to notice that a dog strikingly similar to the one they used to have is now living with you? Wouldn’t they see you hauling Kibble in the front door sometime or taking the dog outside to do its business? Besides, as an elected official, shouldn’t you know that your town or county has an animal protective services department you can call in case of an abused pet? Good thought process on this one, Ms. Mayor, I’m sure your town was very fortunate to have a capable, upright leader like you in power…..

- Super Tuesday could end up being Black Tuesday when all is said and done. The terrible news began rolling in during the election specials on various cable networks; Hank Clinton was having a good night and building up a slight advantage over Barack Obama in the race for the Democratic presidential nomination. Hank won in Arizona, Arkansas, Massachusetts, New York and several other states to earn a slight advantage in the race to earn enough of the party’s 2,025 delegates to secure the nomination. I’m bitterly disappointed in you, America, because you’re either not very smart or you just aren’t listening to those of us warning you what a tyrannical reign by Hank Clinton would do to this country. Having that dude as our commander in chief would be a nightmare, with her angry-lesbian haircut, femi-Nazi ways and generally frightening persona. There’s still hope for Barack Obama, at least until March 4, when voters in Ohio, Texas, Rhode Island and Vermont go to the polls in the most important day of primaries left on the election calendar. I urge my fellow Ohioans and anyone residing in a state yet to hold its primary, vote and vote for anyone but Hank Clinton. If you’re not registered to vote, register because only with your help can we kill the potentially devastating threat that Hank Clinton in the Oval Office would be.

- All right, Colombians! I love that you all showed up for massive protests early this week, even if these protests weren’t aimed at the most deserving target in your fine country. Colombians could protest twice daily from now to eternity against their despotic, dictatorial, oppressive leader Hugo Chavez and it wouldn’t be enough. However, this week’s mass protests were directed at the R evolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, the nation’s largest rebel group. Literally hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets in cities around Colombia and because the event was publicized on Facebook, many more people around the world took a stand, urging the RAFC to stop kidnapping people and to release those it has already kidnapped. I join in that plea and urge all Colombians to set aside these smaller issues to focus on what really matters - getting rid of that a-hole you have leading your country. Let’s stop kidnapping one another and start thinking of ways to evict ol’ Hugo from office…..