- In one of the worst lawsuits ever levied, Steven Segal is suing the FBI for ruining his movie career. He claims that he’s not getting the roles he wants because of a false FBI investigation of him, but I’m not sure how Segal filed this lawsuit with a straight face. Has he ever watched any of the movies he’s made? Can he not see his wooden, lifeless acting, robotic dialogue and general lack of ability? Does he not realize that he’s just made the same crappy action movie over and over, and that no one wants him in another movie because every single film he makes bombs out in spectacular fashion? Quit living in denial, Segal, just admit that you are in the running along with Keanu Reeves and Pauly Shore for the worst actor of all-time and let’s move on.
- Props to the Little League World Series teams from Japan and Chinese Taipei for doing all sports fans a favor on Thursday. These two teams staged an exciting, back-and-forth 10-inning marathon game that Japan ultimately won. That we got to witness this game was but a small, insignificant part of the equation. The bigger story was that because the game went on for nearly four hours, ESPN2 viewers were not subjected to watching the abomination that is WNBA basketball. A WNBA game featuring one team no one cares about against another team no one cares about was supposed to begin at 7 p.m., but because the baseball game went over we instead got to see that game while missing out on the inept, eye-offending train wreck that is WNBA basketball. Thanks for that, Little Leaguers, you guys rock.
- Don’t forget, TV fans, that Prison Break returns from its summer hiatus next Monday, 8 p.m. When we last saw Michael Scofield and crew, Michael was locked up in some weird, dark, dirty Panamanian detention center where Brad Bellick and Scofield’s nemesis, Alex Mahone, was also taken. The facility, known as S.O.N.A., looked like far from a typical prison and some guys in lab coats in some remote American lab were discussing Scofield’s arrival at the detention center when the season ended. Also, T-Bag was stranded in a different Panamanian jail, charged with murder, and Lincoln Burroughs (Michael’s brother) and Michael’s girlfriend, Sarah Tancredi, were in Panama on the run. A lot is up in the air and there are tons of unknowns in play as Season Three begins, so I’m pumped to tune in and see where this is headed. While we’re on TV, I’ll also remind you that Greek continues its first season at 9 p.m. Monday, with Rusty making the big plunge and telling girlfriend Jen K. the three words guys so fear saying: “I love you.” That the response is, “Thank you,” is funny, just as it was funny on The O.C. a few years back when Ryan Atwood responded to Marissa (Mischa Barton) declaring her love with the same reply of “Thank you.” So you can tune in for Prison Break at 8 o’clock and then flip over to ABC Family for Greek once PB ends and it’ll be a great evening of TV to kick off the week.
- Academic troubles seem to be a way of life for the football team at the University of South Carolina. Last month, coach Steve Spurrier lamented the university’s strict admission standards that were causing him to miss out on prized recruits because while they met NCAA standards, they didn’t meet the university’s higher standards. Spurrier said he would not continue to coach at a place where he had recruits that he had told were in at USC then have their applications for admission rejected by the school. Then this week, starting quarterback Blake Mitchell and two other players were suspended for the season opener this year because they had too many absences in summer school. Why these guys didn’t just have a friend sign them in on the attendance sheet I don’t know, but for their stupidity to engage in this most basic of college class-ditching traditions they deserve to be suspended for a game. Way to crack the whip, though, Spurrier, seeing at every major program schedules a patsy for its season opener so it can start off with a sure win. It’s always entertaining with the ol’ ball coach, though, that’s for sure. Take solace in the fact that these guys were just skipping class and didn’t get arrested, USC, because clearly things could be a lot worse.
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