Saturday, August 18, 2007

Some gamblers get over, Browns fans get over their indignation and the WWE needs to get its act together

- America has already moved on and forgotten about the Chris Benoit double murder/suicide tragedy for the most part, but this week we received another reminder that professional wrestling has a major problem on its hands. Bryan “Crunch” Adams, 44, a former wrassler who last competed for World Wrestling Entertainment (then the World Wrestling Federation) in 2001, was found dead in his Florida home early this week. Adams’ death, its cause not yet known, continues a disturbing trend of wrestlers and former wrestlers dying before they hit the age of 45. Authorities found no evidence of foul play in Adams’ death, but history tells us that there’s a good chance that the real culprit in this situation has a connection with his years in pro wrestling. It would be reckless and out of line to imply or infer that Adams died because he used steroids or because of problems related to steroid usage, a problem that is so prevalent in the world of professional wrestling. Thus far, I haven’t heard any proof or speculation that Adams did in fact use steroids. It would be wrong, though, not to consider that possibility if for no other reason than the environment Adams was in with the WWF and other places he wrestled. Vince McMahon and his company have already been investigated by Congress for steroids, and those in and around the industry say that there is most definitely still steroid usage in pro wrestling today. In fact, last year nearly a dozen WWE superstars, including Randy Orton and Adam Copeland, who wrestles under the name Edge, were listed as clients on the records of an Internet pharmaceutical company busted by the feds for selling steroids. The fact that Adams died unexpectedly before his 45th birthday is troubling because dozens of active and retired wrestlers have met the same fate in recent years. This should be another impetus for those in power to do something about this problem before it turns into an epidemic.

- Not a great day for OzzFest at a stop this week in Holmdel, N.J. Already plagued by a lackluster lineup of bands and less-than-stellar ticket sales, the annual traveling rock festival led by Ozzy Osbourne saw two fans collapse and die of heart attacks on Thursday. Police believe that both men had ingested substantial amounts of alcohol, marijuana and cocaine at the concert, which could definitely be a lethal mixture. I know that OzzFest fans tend to be 1) hardcore, 2) rough, 3) heavily into illegal substances and 4) not exactly candidates for Mensa membership, but I have to ask how you can get so caught up in things that you say, “Hey, I’m here at a public concert with cops all around, but I’m going to down copious amounts of booze and chase that with not one, but two illegal drugs,”? Normally a sucky lineup including bands like O.A.R., Lamb of God, Hatebreed and Static-X at obscene ticket prices starting at $300 would be the biggest problem, but when dudes start free-basing coke, mixing in weed and beer and then suffering fatal heart attacks, everything else takes second billing. I hate to shoot Ozzy’s cash cow, but maybe it’s time to put OzzFest down. It’s tired and played and now it’s turning deadly.

- Can I ask one more time why a show like The Bachelor even exists? Aside from the fact that it’s a contrived beauty pageant/mating ritual under totally artificial circumstances, inevitably we hear a story like this shortly after the finale of every single season: Bachelor X and surgically-enhanced skank Y have ended their relationship, citing ______________________________ (fill in the blank with predictably lame excuse). Andy Baldwin, the most recent Bachelor, and if I remember right, a military man of some sort (Peaces Corps, Coast Guard, Salvation Army?) has called off his engagement to some woman name Tessa Horst (why even bother to use the Bachelor bimbos’ names, just call them “Skank Desperate for Attention #1, #2, etc.) because “when the fantasy of the show wore off and reality set in, we realized that neither of us was ready to be engaged.” Hang on, when the fantasy wore off and reality set in? But weren’t you on a “reality” show? Am I to understand that there is little or no reality or realness in reality TV? I am shocked and appalled; the very core of my faith in humanity is ruined……

- Cleveland Browns fans….SHOW ME YOUR RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION! LET ME HEAR YOUR CRIES OF RAGE AND CONDEMNATION FOR THAT GREEDY, S.O.B. HOLDOUT BRADY QUINN! GIVE HIM YOUR…...cheers and heartfelt welcome? Yes, it didn’t take long for Browns fans to get off their high horse and give a rousing welcome to the same guy they were busy vilifying just a couple of weeks ago for holding out of the first week and a half of training camp. When Quinn entered tonight’s preseason game, nearly all Browns fans in attendance cheered him lustily. Quinn did little to discourage the adoration, completing 13 of 20 passes for 155 yards and two touchdowns. To be fair, he played against the Lions’ third and fourth-string defense, which included many players who won't survive the first round of roster cuts this week. Still, Quinn’s play was at least better than what we saw from Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson, the two players supposedly battling for the starting quarterback job. If nothing else, the logical conclusion is that we need to see a lot more of Brady Quinn in the final two preseason games to see how he fares against first-team defenses, especially the Denver Broncos next week. Oh, and who told you that fans would forget all about Quinn’s holdout and welcome him with open arms the second he played well? That would be me, I believe……….
- George Clooney said it best in Ocean’s Eleven, if you gamble long enough, the house will eventually take you and you’ll lose big. Casinos aren’t set up for gamblers to come out on top. They aren’t throwing up those huge, new, monstrously expensive casino/hotels in Vegas by allowing gamblers to be more successful than the house. For that reason, it’s nice to see something happen to level the playing field, if only for a short time. A video lottery machine at the Twin Rivers Casino in Providence, R.I. has been giving players credit for twice as much money as they inserted over a two-month span, erroneously paying out more than $450,000 over that time. The machine has now been replaced with one that functions properly, but score one for the common man here. It is amazing, though, that over those two months, not a single gambles reported the malfunctioning machine to casino officials. I mean, who’s more honest and trustworthy than degenerate gamblers? Actually, I’m sure that within a week, word had spread to every active gambler in the greater Providence area about the loose, high-paying video lotto machine at the Twin Rivers Casino. Way to go, gamblers, good to know we can still count on you………

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