- Personally my feeling is that if you’re such a ginormous loser to the point that you cant find a single from or acquaintance willing to arm wrestle with you, you deserve a broken arm. The Japanese manufacturer of a mechanical arm-wrestling machine apparently don’t feel the same way, because the company is recalling all Arm Spirit machines after three customers suffered broken arms from using the product. The Arm Spirit has ten levels of difficulty, beginning w. a Chihuahua, progressing up to French maid and drunken martial arts master, with professional wrestler the highest level. No word on whether the cause of the problem with the Arm Spirit machines was a late decision to make the professional wrestler level a “Steroid-fueled WWE wrestler” level, but I suspect that may be the true root of the problem.
- The executives and decision-makers at the CW are inept. That much we already knew, but now these tools are just being lazy. With the introduction of Online Nation, a new show comprised entirely of clips created and submitted by viewers/visitors to the network’s website, the CW has hit a new low. Theoretically the concept is a viewer-generated show that will draw in viewers because they have a stake in the content of the show. Viewing it through a more cynical prism, though, it looks more to me like the execs at the CW were too lazy to fill that one last open spot on their fall schedule and went with the alternative that necessitated the least amount of effort on their part. Well, with that cadre of tools together making a decision, I suppose it is possible that they figured nothing that some random drunk or stoned viewer with a video camera might send in could be any worse than the uber-crappy show they’d come up with instead, so what difference would it really make? Either way, kudos to the CW for their continued, universal dedication to flushing their network right down the toilet. It’s truly a sight to behold……….
- Here’s what’s not OK, makers of Viagra: You taking a famous song by Elvis and turning it into a commercial jingle wherein a bunch of old guys sit around some bar with their instruments to form some sort of jam band singing Viva Viagra. The Dead Kennedys can do a cover of Viva Las Vegas; that’s perfectly acceptable. You taking that same song and using it to build some creepy, nasty, discomfiting commercial where old guys sit around and sing about a little blue pill that helps them with their malfunctioning cranks is not acceptable. It’s weird, it’s disgusting and the FCC should fine you $15 million or more for this egregious offense against humanity. I actually don’t have a problem with your company or product in general, but I do have a big problem with your nasty commercials. But hey, I’m sure Viagra is already hard at work coming up with an even more revolting commercial to run during the Super Bowl, so we need to act now before this gets any worse.
- Well this should be verrry helpful in dispelling that “ugly American” stereotype that Europeans are so fond of. Bill Murray, a man who is supposedly a comedic genius even though I can only think of two decent, mildly funny movies he’s ever been in (What About Bob? and Caddyshack), was pulled over earlier this week by police in Stockholm, Sweden for drunken driving…….on a golf cart. Stockholm police spotted Murray puttering through the downtown area in the cart and pulled him over. He then went ugly American, citing U.S. law and refusing to take a breath test when police smelled alcohol on his person The Swedes then went with a blood test, the results of which will be available in two weeks. Murray actually signed a document admitting to driving under the influence and allowing a guilty plea to be entered on his behalf if the case does eventually go to court. The 56-year-old actor had been at a celebrity golf tournament outside of Stockholm, which explains the golf cart part of the story – actually, no it doesn’t. How do you get so toasted that you decide that driving a golf cart through the streets of a major international city is a good idea. Clean it up, Carl Spackler, just because you’ve made a lot of mediocre movies and been paid far too much to do so does not mean you can traverse the globe acting like a ginormous ass hat. Next time, call a designated caddie…….
- Memo to authorities in London: when a dude is willing to snort the ashes of his dead father, he’s probably not going to have much respect for your anti-smoking laws. Nevertheless, police in the city issued a warning to the O2 Arena, where the Rolling Stones were playing a concert, because Keith Richards and Ron Wood were spotted with lit cigarettes during the concert. Smoking is banned in enclosed public spaces in England under legislation that went into affect on July 1. Fines of up to $5,000 can be levied against companies and venues that violate the law, although I’m sure that the Stones have an extra few thousand lying around that they could give to the arena to offset the cost of the fine. I do have to salute Mick, Keith and the boys for giving the finger to the establishment and blatantly disobeying the law, although I suspect they either didn’t know about the law or were too stoned to care. Regardless, rebellion is the spirit of rock n’ roll, so good job on that one guys.
No comments:
Post a Comment