- I‘m expecting a bevy of thank you cards from the producers, execs, writers, cast and crew of Greek to land in my mailbox any day now. Clearly, my shameless and nonstop efforts to extol the virtues of my favorite new summer show have paid off, because word is out that ABC has ordered 10 more episodes of Greek. You’d like to think that putting out a good show with interesting characters and fun storylines would be enough to compel networks to keep a series on the air, and other than shows airing on the CW network (you still suck, Dawn Ostroff) that’s usually the case. But as ABC proved just last month when putting another great new series, Traveler, on permanent hiatus, no network is totally devoid of idiots in its executive suites. It’s so rare that I get to report good times in the world of television, but another 10 episodes for a show that’s still getting better and more interesting with each new episode deserves the extended run. Again I’ll throw this out for those of you who still haven’t gotten on board: Monday at 9 p.m. on ABC Family, don’t miss the next episode.
- As summer rages on, the impossible happens in the world of TV. We started the summer faced with a crap load of crappy summer shows, but the fare I’m seeing on my screen now clearly indicates that the shows are getting worse, not better. The current target of my ire is FOX’s Don’t Forget the Lyrics, which is basically a half-assed knock-off of MTV’s old karaoke show Say What Karaoke. Of course, Say What Karaoke at least had the benefit of hundreds of hot girls in bikinis being on the set at the beach, whereas FOX just has some fat, middle-aged dudes with poorly maintained facial hair singing subpar karaoke versions of popular songs (and if it’s a subpar karaoke performance, you know it’s really, really bad). I already know America is grossly out of shape, not especially smart and generally not the most attractive and talented lot of people, so why do I need to see FOX gather them in a studio and butcher a bunch of songs that were terrible to begin with? I’ll just keep repeating to myself that Prison Break is only three weeks away, so at least this network has one redeeming show on its schedule…..
- For 99.999 percent of the actors and celebs in Hollywood, hosting a show like The Singing Bee on NBC would be a major step backward in their careers. For former man-bander Joey Fatone of the Backstreet Men of O-Town Sync Degrees, though, hosting a terrible, hokey hack-job of a reality show is actually a step up. After all, when you’ve made your rep on dancing in unison with four other dudes, lip syncing to crappy pop music while wearing matching outfits and sporting frosted hair, there’s really nowhere to go but up. I had the misfortune of flipping by NBC as this monstrosity of a show was coming on the air and apparently it was a salute to ‘80s music. Fatone’s dancing, which appeared to be marred by heavy doses of narcotics, alcohol and repeated blows to the back of the head with a blunt object before coming on stage, would have been offensive and out of place in any decade. His cast of dislikeable losers in costumes that didn’t really represent any ‘80s I was a part of only added to the uber-laughable, mock-able quality of the show, which made one thing utterly and perfectly clear: Heroes can't start its fall season soon enough. Left to its own devices, NBC is clearly as dumb and inept as every other major network, so Tim Kring and crew need to come back soon and set things right.
- Of all the things Brady Quinn could do right now, shutting up would be the most beneficial. Bad news for you, Brady, but no matter how fair and right you think your holdout from Cleveland Browns training camp is, nothing you can say in any TV or radio interview is going to help you right now. You can tell us over and over that you and your agent aren’t seeking exorbitant amounts of money or that you aren’t demanding to be paid like a top-five pick despite being drafted 22nd, but all Browns fans and any other football fan with an IQ above 45 hears is that you’re being a big, greedy baby and that if you truly wanted to be in camp, playing football, you would tell your agent to get a deal done yesterday even if it meant making a few small concessions now. Because let me tell you champ, if you’re as good as your egotistical behavior is indicating you believe yourself to be, you’ll earn all the money you’re seeking and then some in your career. Tom Brady was a sixth-round pick and I don’t remember hearing him b*tching and whining about being drafted so low and deserving more money. He signed a deal, came in and has proven to be one of the elite quarterbacks in the NFL. He has a mega deal now, but the way you’re going, Brady, you won’t even start a single game this season because you’ll be so far behind by the time you do sign a contract that you won't have any chance to earn the starting job. So stop trying to wage a PR war on the airwaves, because no matter what you say, what we see is you out in Arizona, more concerned with protecting your image than signing a deal and getting into training camp.
- Never trust a man wearing a feather boa, furry sunglasses and a sequined suit jacket, that’s my motto. Proving me oh, so right for adhering to that mantra is the idiot known as Elton John, who not only hates the digital side of the music world but is so backwards and ignorant as to suggest that it would be a great idea to get rid of the Internet for five years to “see what kind of art would result.” First off, E., I think you need to stop inhaling paint fumes and realize that digital music is a good thing, not a bad thing. Last I checked, you hadn’t refused to accept any profits and royalty payments from the sale of your songs on iTunes, so you’re being a hypocrite right there. Also, realize that the digital music front is the only way many people, especially those under the age of 30 (those you seem intent on alienating with your inane ramblings), get their music. That way, they can conveniently buy music from their home and have it right away without going to the store. Also, digital music allows us wonderful things like the iPod, meaning we can bring thousands of songs along with us anywhere we go without having to lug around tons of CDs. As for abolishing the Internet for the sake of art……….i don’t care what type of art you’re talking about, that’s just a dumb, dumb thing to say. The world is so reliant on the Internet and it is such a valuable means of communication and learning that to reject it so completely is so ignorant and idiotic that it almost doesn’t warrant a response. Besides, E., I can tell you what kind of art would result if people took your suggestion and abolished the Internet for five years: Elton John voodoo dolls. I’d make at least five a day and stick so many pins in them that they’d look like friggin’ porcupines on steroids. See, this is a shining example of why just being famous doesn’t mean you can or should share thoughts and opinions on the world. Famous people are just as stupid, sometimes more so, as the rest of us.
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