- If you’ve made it nearly a century on this Earth and
haven't ended up behind bars at some point, have you really lived? Clearly not,
according to one awesome granny in the Dutch town of Nijmegan-Zuid. The woman,
identified as Annie, is closing in on the century mark quickly and she has a
bucket list that needs completing before she shuffles off this mortal coil. One
of those entries would have been much easier in a country where pot wasn’t
wholly legal, but ol’ Annie was able to fulfill her longtime wish of getting
arrested and hauled off to jail. Her niece helped by contacting police in
Nijmegan-Zuid and working with local law enforcement to organize the elderly
woman’s “arrest” so her lifelong dream of becoming a resident of a jail cell
could come true. The entire story was documented on social media as officers
went to Annie’s home, took her into custody and drove her to the police
station, where they locked her inside a cell and made her possibly the first
person to be both sober and smiling when they were cuffed and placed inside a
cell. The sight of a grinning, 99-year-old woman being silver-braceleted and
jailed because she always wanted to know what it felt like is a curiously
heartening feeling, so here’s hoping Annie accomplishes the remainder of her
bucket list entries before her life comes to a close……..
- Isn't it written in the official rock band rulebook that
any true rock star must believe that he and his band are the best, coolest and
most badass on the planet? So Aerosmith drummer Joey Kramer is merely doing his
job when he asserts that he and his band are better live than The Rolling
Stones, which is hard to tell at this point because both acts are so far past
their respective primes and such massive corporate rock sellouts at this point
that it’s hard to take either one too seriously. Aerosmith is at least
pretending that it will wrap up its run soon, announcing last year that their
2017 ‘Aerovederci’ United Kingdom and European tour would be their last.
They’re even doing a massive festival gig at Download Festival alongside System
Of A Down and Biffy Clyro and if you ask their drummer, Aerosmith are a much
better show at this point that one of their veteran rock peers, the Stones. “First
of all, as far as Aerosmith goes there is no band that has been around for
almost 50 years that still has the original five guys in the band,” Kramer
whined. “Everybody is always raving about the Stones, saying the Stones this
and the Stones that. I’ve never cared for the Stones. They never had anything
to offer me musically, especially in the drumming department.” Shot across the
bow, Charlie Watts and Ronnie Wood, because Kramer is coming for both of your
asses. The snippy Kramer went on to say that the Stones don’t have their
original lineup and claimed that if people saw both bands in person, “people
would realize that we play so much better than them that it’s silly because
they’re not so good live.” If only these two iconic acts could come together
backstage, get a nice glass table with a massive pile of blow on it and snort a
few lines together in unity………
- Why else do you have children if not to make sure you have
someone with alcohol-free breath to start the car when mommy is too liquored up
to use the breath-lock device police installed on her whip after she received a
DUI? That parenting lesson was already known to Angela Daywalt, a Pennsylvania
woman who allegedly had her 8-year-old daughter blow into the anti-DUI device
that started her car, a tactic that was necessary because apparently mom had been
doing a little day drinking before trying to get behind the wheel. Witnesses
told police that Daywalt urged her daughter to blow into the device shortly
before the crash that ended their ride together, an ending that came complete
with another charge of driving under the influence for a woman who seems to
have both drinking and judgment problems and whose daughter might be better off
in the care of someone who understands the concept of operating a vehicle while
sober. Following the crash, the extremely lucid Daywalt fled the scene and was
located and arrested and her home. Franklin County police announced charges of drunken
driving and endangering the welfare of a child, as well as traffic violations
committed in the crash, but no charges for Daywalt’s daughter for her role in
helping her mom break the law. Maybe in the future, when courts order the
installation of a breath-lock device on a habitual drunk driver’s vehicle, they
also need to confiscate that person’s children to make sure that there aren’t
any able-bodied, obedient minors around to help an alcoholic adult continue to
get behind the wheel after too much quality time with their pal Jack Daniels……..
- Welcome to the NFL offseason. It’s a time when some
players are battling with their teams for a new contract, others are fighting
to return from injury and others are going to battle with cops after stealing a
golf cart and going on a drunken joy ride. Indianapolis Colts defensive lineman
David Parry went for the third option on that list when he was arrested early
in the morning on charges of auto theft, robbery, resisting arrest, driving
under the influence and criminal damage. It seems that the relatively unknown
lineman (allegedly) struck the driver of a golf cart transporting him and two
other men from a Scottsdale bar in the head, seizing control of the cart and
gunning it at approximately 7 mph toward a nearby apartment complex, where he
crashed the cart into the gate and lay sprawled on the sidewalk when police
found him. Officers encountered a groggy, belligerent Parry, his eyes watery
and bloodshot and his speech was slurred as he barked a number of expletives
and derogatory words at the Scottsdale, Arizona police. Parry was not going to
go down without a fight, so he hurled gay slurs at the cops and allegedly
called them “fat f*cks,” to which they countered by slapping on the silver
bracelets, which was a struggle in and of itself because he wore a brace on his
left wrist from surgery earlier in the offseason. Officers removed the brace,
cuffed Parry and battled him all the way to the squad car as he kept
"locking his muscles and turning his body in attempts to break free
from" police, according to the police report. He was also dry heaving and
when asked how much he had to drink, Parry told the officers "a lot"
and "more than I should have been.” At least there’s one part of this on
which everyone can agree……..
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