Monday, March 13, 2017

Turkey violates the Nazi analogy rule, majestic MLB hair dies and reliving the Trump-Clinton dumpster fire


- Ready to relive the most painful year of your 200-plus year existence, America? Whether you are or not, a certain premium cable network is about to make you go through it anyhow. Yes, HBO has announced it is making a miniseries about last year’s presidential election, the one where Americans faced an impossible choice and selected a giant hunk of mutated candy corn as their next commander in chief. In the network’s defense, it didn’t start this - its miniseries will be based on an upcoming book about Donald Trump’s disturbing victory over Hillary Clinton, a book penned by Mark Halperin and John Heilemann. The project will be helmed by Jay Roach, who directed HBO’s TV movie about John McCain’s losing presidential campaign, “Game Change,” and Tom Hanks will serve as a producer on the miniseries, as he did on “Game Change.” Being linked to those two names works in HBO’s favor, but again, this election was the dumpster fire that turned into an out-of-control wildfire (much like Trump’s hair) threatening to leave entire states as scorched earth. “We are thrilled to continue our relationship with Mark Halperin and John Heilemann, whose work on their best-selling book Game Change set the bar for political reporting and storytelling inside a presidential campaign,” HBO’s Len Amato said in a statement. “Reuniting Game Change director and executive producer Jay Roach and Playtone producers Tom Hanks and Gary Goetzman with Mark and John for a project based on their upcoming book promises to vividly capture the most unique and impactful event in modern American politics.” Tell yourself what you need to, Lenny, but you’re not helping Americans, you’re hurting them……


- Rarely is a group lining up for a courtroom brawl to get rid of the landmark status assigned to its beloved property. But such is life at the moment for a Brooklyn congregation raising holy hell in the hopes that their church gets de-landmarked. The oddly-named Ukranian Church in Exile wants a judge banish the city Landmarks Preservation Commission’s 2016 decision designating the white Neoclassical building a landmark, claiming that carrying that weighty designation makes upkeep too expensive. The building was constructed in 1906 as the Williamsburg Trust Company Bank at 177 South Fifth Street, but it became a courthouse after the bank went out of business. The building soon fell into disrepair with all of the usual markings, including busted windows, a leaking roof, peeling paint and wrecked plumbing. In 1961, the church bought the building and spent a saintly sum of  $2.5 million fixing it up. The brawl to landmark the building began a mere five years later when the LPC first sought to slap it with the designation, only to do what bureaucratic entities do so well, namely let the issue slide for decades until it recently tackled nearly 100 properties in its back catalog. The church again protested, but the city pushed onward, labeling the building “one of Brooklyn’s most outstanding and monumental Neoclassical bank buildings,” according to a Manhattan Supreme Court petition filed last month. Church attorney Richard Lobel said it’s unfair to expect his clients to hold up their end of this burden. “It becomes cost prohibitive for them. They have lovingly maintained their building … they are now being penalized for having done this work,” Lobel said, insisting that the LPC made the wrong choice to landmark the building………


- There are times sports cuts to your core and makes you want to weep like a baby. This is one of those times and it comes to us from Tampa, Florida, where an organization stuck in bygone notions of style and personal appearance has snipered one of Major League Baseball’s best, most compelling talents: young outfielder Clint Frazier’s hair. Frazier was acquired last summer in a trade deadline deal that sent he and other pieces to the Yankees for prized reliever Andrew Miller, who helped lead the Cleveland Indians to the World Series and the deal led them to part with one of their top prospects, Frazier. The burly, power-hitting outfielder reached the Triple-A level with his new team last season and could make it to the majors this year, but one part of him that won't be making it to the Bronx is his amazing head of floppy orange hair, which had reached such epic proportions that manager Joe Girardi claimed the team forced Frazier to cut it because it had quite literally become a distraction. The obvious excuse would be the team’s byzantine policies on personal appearance and specifically facial hair, started by George Steinbrenner in 1973. That rule covers both facial hair and the stuff on top of the head, but Girardi made it clear that Frazier's hair did not violate the Yankees' policy, but that "it had become a distraction" in camp. The amazing thing is that there are other dudes across MLB with long, flowing hair (New York Mets hurlers Jacob deGrom and Noah Syndergaard, among others), but some how Frazier’s glorious mane of orange lettuce was a siren call that no one can turn their attention away from, so it had to be cut…….


- Clearly, Turkish dictator/President Recep Tayyip Erdogan did not get the memo. That memo clearly states in every language spoken in every corner of the world, there are certain metaphors that are off-limits to everyone: Nazis, the Holocaust, slavery, rape….those sorts of things. So how is it that Erdogan’s first response when the he Netherlands barred a plane carrying Turkey's foreign minister from landing to stop him from addressing a political rally in Rotterdam was to immediately hurl a Nazi-based analogy toward one of the very nations most terrorized by the Nazis - nay, the one where Anne Frank was hiding when she was discovered by the Third Reich and sent off to a concentration camp to die. Erdogan barely stopped to take a breath after the Dutch government announced that Foreign Minister Mevlut Cavusoglu's flight permit was revoked amid concerns over public order at the expected large gathering of Turkish expatriates before the despotic overlord of Turkey went all-in, comparing the Dutch government to Nazis while addressing crowds at an opening ceremony in Istanbul. "They are timid and coward. They are Nazi remnants and fascists,” he proclaimed to his terrified sycophants. Yes, all of this just days after Erdogan angered German Chancellor Angela Merkel by making similar remarks about Nazism in her country, which was still wildly out of line  but at least aimed at the same country where the Third Reich arose. Maybe Erdogan was just bitter to have a blow dealt to his efforts to win support for an April 16 referendum vote on the Turkish Constitution, for which Cavusoglu was heading to Rotterdam to stump for. The sweeping constitutional changes are being forced down Turkey’s gullets by Erdogan's ruling Justice and Development Party, or AKP, in order to grant him even broader powers and overhaul the way the country is governed - in his favor, of course………

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