Saturday, March 25, 2017

Why book burnings don't work, Father John Misty tries hard to be cool and Matt Barnes' rage


- Call it athletic hyperbole, but Golden State Warriors forward Matt Barnes is still one angry dude. Barnes, who has bounced around the NBA and played for nine different teams over the course of 13 seasons, has been consistent in at least one respect. He’s a world-class agitator with a blatant mean streak, willing to start a fight for almost no reason at all. So when he sends a shot across the bow of the most recent team to cut him, the Sacramento Kings, it’s all part of another day at the office. "I'm trying to kill them," Barnes said ahead of his first game against the Kings since he was released last month during the blockbuster trade that sent DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans. "Plain and simple. Things didn't go well there. It was frustrating because being back home and really taking pride in trying to put that team back on the map, and then just in a day's time you're no longer a part of the organization.” It was his second stint with the Kings, but he’s been released and traded so many times that by this point, he should be used to the feeling. He wasn’t exactly low-key during his latest run in Sacramento, having been arrested in December following an alleged assault of a woman at a New York night club. Yet he landed on his feet with the Association’s best team and even got his assault trial postponed until June after his lawyer successfully argued that Barnes could be playing in the NBA Finals for the Warriors that month. Yet here he is, angry as ever and looking to crack some skulls……..


- Mexico is a place that thrives on the business of people putting weird, dangerous substances into their bodies. But not all of those tales involve drug mules and cartels; some center on a bunch of weirdos living  in a squatters' settlement where people were apparently "milking" crocodiles for their blood. Mexican authorities were able to rescue 14 crocodiles and found 20 others dead and according to the country’s office for environmental protection, some local residents in Chiapas wanted the blood because they believed it could cure cancer, diabetes, AIDS and other diseases. As is so often the case with these off-the-grid medicinal ideas, scientists say there is no evidence that crocodile blood cures these diseases, but that didn’t prevent the locals from trying. Authorities found most of the dead crocs with their heads or tail hacked away, while the 14 living crocs were released back into the wild. The entire scene is a tenuous and creepy one in which the squatters have set up a settlement in Chiapas' coastal nature reserve known as la Encrucijada, and have been hunting crocodiles. It’s hard to argue that life could really get worse for people living in such squalor, but getting rounded up by the police and accused of such cruel treatment of animals is definitely one way to accomplish it……..


- Stay true to your cooler-than-thou hipster self, Father John Misty. The indie musician, whose real name is Joshua Tillman, is best known as the drummer for Fleet Foxes and now, as a solo act fond of saying outlandish things such as calling Nickelback the authors of great music, but as he prepares to release his third album next month, he wants to make it clear that he’s not out to a famous rock star at any cost. Needing to say interesting things to promote that new album, “Pure Comedy,” Tillman dropped a revelation designed to make him seem so above even one of the most popular shows around. “There are many other things I’ve said no to,” Tillman said in explaining why he hasn’t jumped to a major record label. “I was asked to audition for the second season of ‘Stranger Things.’ I didn’t want that level of exposure. I don’t want to be TV famous.” Ah, so you don’t want to do the one thing that artists who make a sudden rise in fame do to raise the ire of fans - sell out. But wait, this is the same guy who has made two appearances on “Saturday Night Live,” right? Oh, and about SNL…..he claims that when he made his most recent appearance on the show, he was under the influence of LSD. To be fair, Tillman did say that he’s taken his LSD diluted and insisted that he’s
“not on a psychedelic journey all the time.” Only when he makes his observations about Nickelback, it would seem……..


- Never, ever channel your inner Nazi….when living in a dry area with lots of brush. That’s the lesson imparted to us by a Florida man burning books in his yard who ended up torching much more than a few unwanted tomes. According to Florida Forest Service officials, the man’s pyromaniacal ways caused a 700-acre brush fire which destroyed two buildings, damaged six homes and nearly 20 sheds and barns. At least 150 residents were forced to leave their homes to escape the blaze, but thankfully firefighters were able to do a much better job containing the blaze than the responsible party was in burning his books without any collateral damage. “Things are looking really good as far as weather, so this is giving our firefighters a big opportunity to make some excellent progress today,” FFS spokeswoman Annaleasa Winter said. “The fire has not spread.” In fact, fire crews were able to allow residents to return to their homes after a few hours thanks to an assist from the weather. According to authorities, the blaze started around 2 p.m. and gusty winds helped it spread after they believed it had been contained to about five acres. At that point, the evacuations began and the beauty of it all is that the man didn’t bother to get the proper permit to hold his little book burning, meaning he will be billed for the firefighting effort, officials said. But hey, the great news is that according to the FFS, the man did not intentionally cause the inferno and acted extremely remorseful. Those swimming at the shallow end of the gene pool often do once they realize all that trouble their actions have caused for others, but to no avail……..

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