Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Imploding Hawks, Chazelle + Gosling again and Russia has a violent week


- These are violent times in Russia. First, a Russian legislator proposes not only legalizing soccer hooliganism, but turning it into a sport, and now, a budget Russian airline is planning to have its flight crews channel their inner Conor McGregor. Yes, low-cost carrier Pobeda Airlines plans to teach its ground staffers judo and sambo, a martial art developed by the Soviet Red Army in the 1920s, because any time you can revive some Communist-era tactics as a means of coping with the modern world, you do it without hesitation. In the airline’s defense, its decision comes after an irate passenger who missed his flight from Moscow was caught on video attacking the Pobeda manager who had the unfortunate chore of refusing to issue him a refund. Even though the incident didn’t spiral into something bigger and the suspect was later arrested, the airline apparently felt this was the tipping point. It initially considered hiring private security guards to help protect its employee, but that idea was scrapped because - in a shocking twist for a tale involving a budget airline - it would have increased the cost of plane tickets by up to 2 percent. Apparently weaponizing the arms, legs, fists and feet of air waitresses is a cheaper option and so it’s time to suit up, hit the dojo and learn martial arts. The good news is that if flight crew members ever decide to move on to a new career, they’re well on their way to pursuing a future in the UFC……..


- It won't be the same dance-happy, feel-good flick, but Ryan Gosling and Damien Chazelle are teaming up once again. After partnering up for “La La Land,” the duo are nearing completion on another project, an upcoming Neil Armstrong biopic titled “First Man.” The outer space flick is slated for an October 2018 release and will reunite the actor and director who helped steer “La La Land” to six - not seven, six - Oscars last month. The biographical film will focus on the late NASA astronaut from the year 1961 up to the famous moon landing in 1969, so it will have to pack nearly a decade worth of a very memorable life into a couple of hours. Chazelle will direct from a script by “Spotlight” writer Josh Singer, while Gosling will hold down the lead role as Armstrong, who became the first man to step foot on the moon in 1969. Like so many Hollywood ideas, this project is based on someone else’s work, namely James Hansen’s biography “First Man: The Life Of Neil A. Armstrong,” which explores the sacrifices and cost of the mission on both the astronauts and the United States government from a first-person perspective. After banking nearly $400 million worldwide and taking home those six Oscars, it’s fair to say that the duo of Gosling and Chazelle has written themselves a blank check for most any project they want to make at this point. Armstrong’s is a kick-ass story, so here’s hoping they do it justice……….


- If there’s a third time, just leave the damn dog. The Nanticoke (Pa.) City Fire Department may have done its decades-old duty by coming to the rescue of a thrill-seeking canine spotted sitting on a roof of a local home. Firefighters responded to the scene after the pooch managed to open and climb out of a second floor window while his owners were out of the house, so it was up to firefighters to hurry to the scene and find a way to convince the dog to come back into the house. It worked, but the second part of their plan did not because once the dog was back inside, the firefighters foolishly failed to dog-proof the window and so an hour later, they received yet another call letting them know that the exact same dog had opened the exact same window and climbed out onto the exact same roof for a second time. Because apparently there is nothing better to do for first responders in Nanticoke, the firefighters returned to the scene and once again succeeded in getting the dog to come back into the safety of the house. This time, the firefighters made the smart move - showing they had at least a little intellectual superiority over a dog - by securing the window to prevent the adventurous animal from making another foray out onto the roof…….


- Want to know why the Atlanta Hawks won't win the NBA title this season or any time soon? Other than the fact that there are no less than eight teams in the league much better than they are, of course. You need look no further than what went down early in the third quarter of the Hawks’ 119-111 loss to the Golden State Warriors, as Hawks point guard Dennis Schroder was pulled from the game and bench due to an in-game dispute with formerly great center and broken-down veteran Dwight Howard that left All-Star point guard Steph Curry wide open for a 3-pointer that helped his team get back into the game. Schroder and Howard yapped at each other about an errant pass, willfully ignoring the game as the Warriors got the ball to Stephen Curry for an open 3-pointer. That prompted Hawks coach Mike Budenholzer to bench Schroder with 8:41 to go in the third, even though he led the Hawks with 23 points. The German guard never returned even as the Warriors blew right past Atlanta and the Hawks absorbed their sixth loss in eight games to slip further back in the Eastern Conference standings. Despite being part of a major incident that obviously hurt his team, Schroder wasn’t happy about being benched. "I don't understand coach's decision," he said. "Maybe I'm too competitive, I don't know. I'm just trying to be competitive, trying to win games. But I don't get that one." Budenholzer was more diplomatic, calling it a "coaching decision." He might be losing patience with Schroder, who was late reporting back to the team after the All-Star break and served a one-game suspension and the very next night, he was late for the team bus and came off the bench for a game at Orlando. Sounds like it’s time to grow up, Denny………

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