- There are friends…and then there are morons. Grayson
Alexander Barry falls firmly at the moron end of the continuum, as evidenced by
the fact that the southwest Florida teen called in a fake bomb threat to a
Naples school to help two friends get out of taking a test. Yes, everyone has
had friends they knew were in deep academic trouble, either because they failed
to do an assignment in time or because they weren't nearly prepared enough for
a big test. Not everyone has tried to get Kenny and Tyler out of taking said
test by calling their friends’ school and claiming to have planted an explosive
device inside. Authorities say a bomb threat was called into Naples High
School, prompting an evacuation and an immediate investigation into who was
responsible. Amazingly, for a guy with such a stellar plan, Barry didn’t do
something clever like use a burner phone that couldn’t be traced or call from a
pay phone in the middle of nowhere; no, investigators soon traced the call back
to Barry's Google Voice account and records show the call was made from Barry's
cellphone at an aquatics center where he worked. At least he didn’t put up a
fight when he was questioned by police, as Barry reportedly caved quickly and admitted
to placing the call to help his friends. In his defense, at least he wasn’t a
narc, as he also told police that neither of his friends knew about his plan.
It would probably be best for this future Mensa if this was the last time he
attempted to be a criminal mastermind……
- Health care frustrates us all at one time or another. It’s
just that most of us aren't in the middle of the biggest job interview of our
lives when the strain becomes too much and we snap. Former Alabama Crimson Tide
linebacker Reuben Foster felt the frustrations of the American health care
system last week when the potential top-10 pick in next month's NFL draft was
sent packing from the Indianapolis scouting combine because of an odd incident
whose details are still coming into focus. Foster was sent home after an
intense altercation with a hospital worker, though the league refused to give
any details of what happened. What’s clear is that the top-graded inside
linebacker on the draft board for many teams didn’t go through team interviews
or testing as scheduled and instead flew home to Tuscaloosa, Alabama as the league
reviews the details of the incident to determine what happened and how it can
be avoided. The word on the street is that there was some sort of issue that
arose after Foster had been waiting for an extended period for what the NFL
calls his "pre-exam," at which point he ran out of patience and got
in the face of a hospital worker. Sources said that the situation escalated even
though there were other players in the room at the time. Whoever this hospital
worker was, he or she was not backing down from a soon-to-be millionaire, which
makes sense because your average nurse or hospital staffer puts up with a lot
of sh*t and a lot of pressure from superiors, angry patients, impatient
families and the like on a daily basis, so having some NFL draft prospect get
snotty about having to wait too long to be examined is merely another day at
the office………
- Thin skin much, Bolivia? Nations that rest outside the
sphere of the world’s most powerful places tend to be overly sensitive about
how they’re perceived globally, so it makes sense that the South American
nation that ranks third in the world in cocaine production is up in arms at, of
all entities, a French video game publisher, over the company’s portrayal of
Bolivia in a new game. The Bolivian government is going in on Ubisoft, which
recently released the popular online game "Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon
Wildlands," which centers on a Mexican drug cartel that controls Bolivia
and has turned the country into a violent narco-state. Yes, THIS IS A TOTALLY
FICTIONAL GAME WITH NO BEARING ON REALITY, but the game's beta version has
already been downloaded by 6.8 million users and Bolivia views that number as
6.8 million people with a misguided impression of what it’s all about. Bolivia
is so upset that Interior Minister Carlos Romero delivered a letter to the
French ambassador earlier this week and asked French officials to intervene,
with the Bolivian government going so far as to threaten legal action if France
doesn’t step over several lines and try to influence commerce with governmental
power. "We have the standing to do it (take legal action), but at first we
prefer to go the route of diplomatic negotiation," Romero said. Ubisoft
predictably responded with a statement reminding everyone that the game is
"a work of fiction" and that Bolivia was chosen as the background for
the game because of its "magnificent landscapes and rich culture."
"While the game's premise imagines a different reality than the one that
exists in Bolivia today, we do hope that the in-game world comes close to
representing the country's beautiful topography," Ubisoft said. Part of
Bolivia’s (weak) cases is that it bought helicopters from France in recent
years to combat the drug trade – as well as the presidential plane - and finds
it “very paradoxical for a French company to question our drug-trafficking
efforts, since we are fighting [it] using French technology.” Yes, but Ubisoft
isn't France, it doesn’t make or sell helicopters or planes and its only
business is making games that basement-dwelling dorks will spend most of their
day playing and paying for……..
- The monochromatic rockers from Scandinavia are in
disarray. The Hives haven’t released an album since 2012’s acclaimed ‘Lex
Hives” and from the sound of it, they won't be making new music together any
time soon. Frontman Pelle Almqvist says he’s considering a solo album or side project
because he and his bandmates can't agree on what direction to go. They’re
touring extensively, including a London show with Green Day, but there are no
immediate plans to hit the studio. That leaves their spasmodic, animated lead
singer with a yen to find his own new direction. “We have a bunch of songs but
we can’t really agree on how to make it an album, or when to make it an album,”
Almqvist said. “We have a lot of awesome stuff but it hasn’t been recorded yet.
That’s the problem, though. The direction. We can’t really agree. You’d get
five different answers from asking five different band members. And that’s what
we need to figure out before we make a record because you really need all to
love it. Because then you’re stuck with it for the rest of your life, playing
those songs.” It’s a valid point and Almqvist expressed hope that in playing
more shows, including a gig supporting Green Day at British Summer in London at
Hyde Park this summer, The Hives will find a way to come together. If not…..who
knows? “I’m going to make some sort of album this year, I don’t know what it’s
going to be. But I need music to come out,” Almqvist said. “I don’t know.
Probably not. But something, I need to make something. My fingers are itching.
It might be a solo album, I don’t know.” To quote Almqvist himself, tick, tick,
tick…..boom? Or maybe not quite yet………
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