Sunday, January 17, 2016

"24" isn't "24" without Jack, failed coup fun in Burkina Faso and naked Waffle House rampages


- Let this be a lesson to one and all: If you’re going to stage a coup, you had best succeed. Otherwise, you’re going to end up in the same position in which Ivory Coast's parliamentary speaker currently finds himself.  Guillaume Soro has been hit with an arrest warrant for his alleged role in a short-lived coup in Burkina Faso back in September. The warrant was issued through Interpol Burkina Faso's military tribunal, according to prosecutor Col. Sita Sangare, because Soro allegedly offered to give support to coup leaders in phone calls to Burkina Faso's former foreign affairs minister Djibril Bassole. Sangare said the calls will be used as part of the prosecution, but they haven’t actually been authenticated. Bassole has been in the crosshairs since he was arrested and jailed at the end of September on accusations that he helped support coup leader Col. Gilbert Diendere, who is also now jailed, but he continues to deny the allegations. Meanwhile, Diendere has been charged with crimes against humanity for the deaths of 15 people and the wounding of about 250 others around the coup attempt, so it’s fair to say that ish has already gotten real in this case. As for Bassole, he was a high-ranking minister under former Burkina Faso President Blaise Compaore, who is now in exile in Ivory Coast after being ousted in a popular uprising in October 2014. Compaore has an international arrest warrant out for the death of Burkina Faso's ex-revolutionary president, Thomas Sankara, who was killed in 1987. Nearly a quarter of a century of bloodshed, violence and double-crossing has created quite a mess, with the most recent being the September coup by the presidential guard which lasted only a week but added another juicy chapter of duplicity and dastardly deeds……..


- Someone needs to remind Kendrick Perkins that he’s still Kendrick Perkins. Perkins is collecting $1.5 million this season to do very little, mostly sitting on the end of the New Orleans Hornets’ bench and mean mug an opponent every now and then. When he does play - which he has done just nine times this season to the tune of 3.0 points and 2.1 rebounds per game - he moves like a glacier, shoots like a blind man with vertigo and does little to help a bad team win. So why is a guy who is contributing so little while making quite a bit of money so bitter? Because Perk, who is known as a good teammate and a solid veteran presence in the locker room, is angry with his teammates' effort in his first season with the Pelicans, who are 13-26 and plummeting in the Western Conference standings. "It's very disappointing. At the end of the day, this is not what I signed up for," Perkins said. "I signed up after I looked from the outside, coming in to a good young team that has been making strides in the right direction. We got real comfortable. We ain't got long to make a push." Despite its losing ways, New Orleans is still only 4.5 games behind the Utah Jazz for the final playoff spot in the Western Conference, so maybe Perkins is simply trying to light a fire under his younger teammates. Sure, he missed a month earlier this season because of a pectoral injury, but not playing doesn’t mean he can’t tell others how to play. "Even though the West isn't what it used to be, we can make up some ground," Perkins added. “[The coaches] are trying everything. They're trying to put us in a position every night to be successful. The effort is not on coach. It's on players.” Credit for trying to spark change, Perk, but it might carry more weight if you were higher than 11th in your team’s rotation……….


- The Waffle House is supposed to be a place of peace, calm and extremely unhealthy food. Someone should have shared that information with Cobb County (Georgia) resident Jennifer Mary Henderson, who managed to ruin the WH experience of a whole lot of people with her act last week. Henderson was arrested following a naked rampage through a Waffle House restaurant in the city of Kennesaw, where according to a police report she stripped off her clothes, hit a woman and threw several platters of food at fellow patrons. Police, who probably get called to the House often enough that they’re never far away, arrived and when officers attempted to arrest Henderson, she wasn’t going down without a fight. She battled back, scratching an officer in the process, and is now charged with aggravated battery, public indecency, criminal damage to property and simple battery against a police officer. That’s an impressive quartet of charges for one person and thanks to her unbridled rage and possible influence of either alcohol or some sort of illegal substance, Henderson is currently jailed in Cobb County, Georgia, northwest of Atlanta. Based on her act at the chain equivalent of a glorified greasy spoon diner, this woman just might have some deep-seated life issues and if the legal system works the way it should - and rarely does - she will pay dearly for giving every last person in the House that night horrible, unforgettable memories that will likely ruin their enjoyment of one of their favorite places to eat………..


- Did no one learn from the empty, hollow skeleton of a movie that was “The Bourne Legacy” in all of its pointlessness? To refresh everyone’s memory, the decision was made to force through a “Bourne” movie without Jason Bourne himself, Matt Damon, and it was a dumpster fire of awfulness that was bad enough that Damon and director Paul Greengrass are returning this year to rescue the franchise. That’s relevant because Fox has confirmed that another iconic spy franchise, “24,” is making its own comeback and doing so without the most important cog in its machine. That would be Jack Bauer, the diminutive, ass-kicking damaged soul played so well by Kiefer Sutherland. Sutherland foiled terrorist attack after terrorist attack on multiple continents, battling the Chinese, Russians, extremist groups and traitors from within, all while bellowing signature catch phrases like, “Dammit! I am NOT GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN! WHERE IS THE BOMB?” and “WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, DAMMIT!” The point is that “24” is Jack Bauer and Jack Bauer is “24,” so hearing that the franchise will return sans J. Bauer is just no good. “24: Legacy” even has the same important, massive reach of a word in its title as “Bourne Legacy,” and it too will show counter-terrorism efforts to stop the world from ending. Fox Chairman and CEO Dana Walden revealed the news and tried to put a positive spin on this turd sandwich. “It’s a new CTU, a new cast of characters. It’s a completely different story in terms of the special ops groups that we’re focusing on,” Walden said. “It’s a very contemporary feeling story about the potential to activate new sleeper cells in the United States and radicalizing Americans. It’s a whole new story.” Hey D, jamming the words new and different into your statement as many times as possible only reinforces that you’re making a colossal mistake here, one we’re all going to regret, DAMMIT………..

No comments: