Thursday, February 27, 2014

Venezuelan paranoia, "Star Wars" casting and why you hate Lolo Jones


- IBM wants your help – as long as you’re a super-smart developer with tons of technological knowledge. At last week’s Mobile World Congress, the tech company launched the IBM Watson Mobile Developer Challenge, a global competition to encourage developers to create mobile consumer and business apps powered by Watson. Watson is the company’s supercomputer and to further its Watson-centric profits, IBM wants business users and consumers to put the power of Watson in the palms of their hands. To achieve feats such as beating down humans in chess, Watson processes information in much the same way to how people think. It is being billed as a significant shift in an organization's ability to quickly analyze, understand and respond to big data. With the supercomputer’s ability to process data and think with speed, accuracy and confidence, industries such as health care, financial services and retail are reaping the benefits. IBM want to further those gains by encouraging developers to spread cognitive computing apps into the marketplace. The challenge is spearheaded by the newly formed IBM Watson Group. "The power of Watson in the palm of your hand is a game-changing proposition, so we're calling on mobile developers around the world to start building cognitive computing apps infused with Watson's intelligence," said Mike Rhodin, Senior Vice President of IBM Watson Group. “Imagine a new class of apps that deliver deep insights to consumers and business users instantly -- wherever they are -- over the cloud. It's about changing the essence of decision making from 'information at your fingertips' to actual insights." As part of the challenge, IBM is inviting developers to take advantage of Watson’s ability to understand the complexities of human language, "read" millions of pages of data in seconds and improve its own performance by learning. The contest will run for the next three months and the three winners will join the Watson Ecosystem Program, where they will work with Big Blue’s recently launched global consulting practice, IBM Interactive Experience, to receive design consulting and support from IBM experts to develop a viable commercial app………


- There are “can’t miss” offers in the world. This is not one of them. Lisa Nelson is not a person to whom you should impart any of your hard-earned cash, but that is precisely what this kook wants you to do. While some enterprising people use project-funding websites such as Kickstarter to raise support for a brilliant new product or business idea, Nelson is seeking absolutely bat-sh*t insane losers to hand over cash so she can get married….to her bicycle. That’s right, this nut job wants to marry her Schwinn and use the donated money of morons to finance the honeymoon. Nelson plans to “wed” her bike, which she has named Steel Spokes. To fund the honeymoon, she has launched an Indiegogo campaign that has somehow – disturbingly – racked up $1,600 in contributions. Once the money for her loser-funded vacation is all in her account, Nelson and her bike will take off on a cycling trip down the California cost. She also hopes to spin this debacle into a planned academic program called “Semester on Cycle,” which she hopes to introduce to the world…just as soon as she gets her college degree. But of course, there must be incentives to donate to this lunatic fringe project, right? Sort of. For a $5 donation, suckers will receive a photo of Steel Spokes. Bigger donors get even “better” photos, with $1,000 fetching a supposed nude photo of the groom. Asking what that means is a bad idea, so just forget it and keep moving. For $1,500, donors will receive a nude photo of the bride that Nelson promises will be “no ordinary sexy photo.” Sadly, even idiots who might donate to this stupidity are smart enough to know that there are cheaper ways to get a hold of porn………


- One of the dudes of “Girls” is exiting Brooklyn and taking a long journey to the land of wookies, ewoks and storm troopers. Adam Driver, one of the stars of HBO’s popular Lena Dunham-penned drama, is set to play the main villain in the upcoming “Star Wars” movie. The deal is not official, but Driver is all but a lock to become the next great villain in the franchise and the man that nerds lurking in basements everywhere will compare to Darth Vader. Details about his character in “Star Wars: Episode VII” are few at this point, but the unnamed character will reportedly have some similarities to the Sith lord himself. Driver’s casting would also be noteworthy because he would be the first actual member of the cast. J.J. Abrams co-wrote the script and will direct the film, which already has a release date but not an actual cast to fill the screen. Casting is somewhat important, given that the project begins shooting in April in London. While the plot and characters are being kept under wraps, the story will pick up where the sixth film in the series (sequentially, not chronologically) left off. “Return of the Jedi” hit screens in standard definition back in 1983, but the franchise remains an omnipresent part of American pop culture and will likely stay in that role for a long, long time. In addition to Driver’s rumored casting, former “Friday Night Lights” star Jesse Plemons was also reported to be in the running for one of the main roles. Driver has had a strong run of late with roles in acclaimed projects such as “Inside Llweyn Davis” and “Frances Ha.” Of course, none of that will spare him from the wrath of Star Wars losers if he doesn’t meet their lofty standards in a galaxy far, far away……. 


- In case you forgot why you can't stand perpetual Olympic disappointment Lolo Jones, here’s a reminder. In addition to falling short in both the Summer and Winter Olympics and crying about how she gets too much criticism for her failures after becoming the biggest attention whore imaginable leading into the Games, she also pulls indefensible sh*t like hanging some people college student out to dry when he asks her out on Twitter and she agrees. The student is question is senior Georgia State University journalism major Bubby Lyles, who got up the courage to ask the world-famous Jones out on a date via Twitter. “I couldn’t just tweet her and say ‘Let’s go out on a date,’” Lyles said. “She wouldn’t do that just on the fly. I thought, give her some incentive. What’s an outrageous number most people would think would be unreachable? I came up with 150,000, and it went from there.” Knowing he couldn’t just ask her out straight up, he got Jones to agree to go on a date with him if he got 150,000 re-tweets of one of his posts. The saga actually began over the summer and in June, Jones direct-messaged Bubby Lyles to tell him everything was good to go if he could get the re-tweets. It took him two weeks, but he accrued the necessary number of tweets. “If I get 150,000 RTs @lolojones will let me take her on a date! Help me out!,” @harrylylesjr tweeted on June 20, tagged with a photo. After Lyles rose to the challenge, Jones allegedly asked for his contact information. “I’m looking forward to meeting you, and I’m looking forward to our date,” Jones reportedly wrote to Lyles. She reportedly even offered to [pay for the date, but Lyles insisted because he’s a southern gentleman and wanted to do it properly. Months went by and Jones became busy training for the Olympics in Sochi, but Lyles remained hopeful that the date would happen. His hopes were dashed last week when Jones let him know that the date was off. “I am sorry to let you all know that the date with Lolo Jones is not going to happen. Thanks for the support that you all have shown me,” Lyles tweeted on Monday. He thanked his supporters and even tweeted out to those who helped him to say hello if they saw him on campus so he could thank them. If only Lolo were half as classy……..


- Paranoia is the order of the day in Venezuela, where despotic leader Nicolas Maduro isn't exactly a picture of poise or stability. The insecure presidente had the Venezuelan Attorney General's Office announce the arrests of five members of the Sebin intelligence service in connection with the Feb. 12 shooting deaths of two people following a protest, bringing to eight the total number of Sebin personnel in custody. Ironically, the demonstration by students and other opposition elements was held in Caracas to protest the policies of the leftist government of Maduro, so pretending to crack down on those responsible for the violence paints the Maduro regime in a positive light even though the government doesn’t exactly have a high level of tolerance for those who protest against it. The uprising was relatively benign until almost its dissident end, when some people broke off from the group to stage attacks on public buildings and vehicles while others ran through nearby streets. The shootings occurred on side streets during a period of chaos. Bassil Da Costa, a student participating in the protest, and Juan Montoya, a member of a pro-government organization, died. A few hours later, another protestor named Robert Redman was shot to death. Conspiracy theories and blame and been hurled around like Molotov cocktails ever since and earlier this week, Attorney General Luisa Ortega announced the arrests of three Sebin agents linked to two of the three deaths and said that the cases "are very clear." On Feb. 18, Maduro fired Sebin director Gen. Manuel Bernal after admitting that members of the service failed to abide by the order to stay off the streets on Feb. 12. Lost in all of the drama is the fact that regardless of who committed homicide, the issues that sparked the protest are still unresolved……….

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