- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! It’s gettin' real in Venezuela,
y’all. The rage is real and so are the violent clashes between angry opponents of
President Nicolas Maduro and police who opened fire on the mob of
demonstrators, killing two of them during intense rioting on Wednesday. The
government was quick to blame the entire incident on the opposition and tried
to curry sympathy by claiming that one of those who died in Caracas was a
pro-government community leader. In return, the opposition accused supporters of
the president, riding motorcycles and firing weapons, of opening fire and
killing anti-government protesters. Maduro, elected last April to succeed the
late despot Hugo Chávez, said that snipers possibly were responsible for the
deaths as part of a plot against his rule. "This violent group had this
planned out," Maduro said, adding
that their goal has been to spark civil war and destabilize his government.
"All the fascist groups that stirred violence throughout the country have
been photographed and videotaped." It’s a nice spin but so is the
opposition’s claim that heavily armed groups that are allied with the populist
government started shooting at unarmed university students who had risen up
against the government. "Today, we have confirmed the deaths of two
students who were peacefully in this demonstration," opposition lawmaker
María Corina Machado saidMachado decried the violence as "the product of a
treacherous and cowardly attack by security forces and armed collectives.”
Regardless of who gets credit for the riots, it was a memorable day in Caracas
as cars were burned, windows were smashed and rocks were hurled. The public’s
rage is being fueled by shortages of basic goods and the government's efforts
to deepen its intervention of the economy and mute dissenting voices. In response,
some 70,000 protesters took to the streets of the capital and clearly, this is
far from over………..
- Science is doing amazing things again, world. What, you
ask? Well, it’s been a while since anyone took the time to sequence the genetic
code of a royal figure who has been dead for several centuries, so it’s about
time someone like Dr. Turi King of the University of Leicester stepped up and did the
deed. King and his team will sequence the code of the infamous Richard III and
determine the hair and eye color of the late English king. Richard’s history is
cloaked in mystery and all that is known about his demise is that he died at
the Battle of Bosworth in 1485, won by Henry Tudor, later Henry VII, ending the
Wars of the Roses. He was the last Plantagenet King and a known hunchback, the
latter a fact confirmed after archaeologist found a twisted spine when they
recovered his skeleton from under a car park in Leicester. Once the sequencing
is complete, King and his team will be able to ascertain the accuracy of
portraits depicting a brooding, dark-haired monarch. "It is an extremely
rare occurrence that archaeologists are involved in the excavation of a known
individual, let alone a king of England," King said. "At the same
time we are in the midst of a new age of genetic research, with the ability to
sequence entire genomes from ancient individuals and with them, those of
pathogens that may have caused infectious disease." Now is the optimal
time to do the sequencing, as Richard’s remains will soon be interred. In
addition to learning his hair and eye color, the researchers hope to learn his
ancestry and links to people living today. The process could also reveal –
somewhat pointlessly, given that Richard has been dead for 529 years - whether
the king was at risk of developing diabetes or Alzheimer's disease. Experts
have already determined that he was infected with roundworm, but why not pile
on with other possible diseases? To deepen their understanding, the research
team will also sequence the genome of one of Richard's confirmed living
relatives, Michael Ibsen, a cabinet maker from London who is descended from
Richard's sister, Anne. All in all, a riveting process………
- Rashaan Evans made what should have been a
benign choice last week, choosing to commit to play college football at the
university of Alabama. Sure, Evans attends Auburn High School and the hometown
Auburn Tigers are a damn good football team as well. He could have stayed home,
but he visited both schools and felt Alabama was a better place for him. The
story should end there, but of course it doesn’t. It continues because
delusional ass hats who are far too consumed with a college football team to
whom they have no tangible ties believe that the top-ranked linebacker in
America turning down their school is somehow an attack on all they hold dear.
In the week since his decision, Evans said his life has become a living hell
thanks to angry middle-aged men who feel free to approach him and let him know
he ruined their pathetic excuse for a life by signing with the Crimson Tide. "It's
getting worse," Evans said. "Someone actually put out an article
about my family's business telling all Auburn fans not to go there. We are
going to eventually start losing money. People are telling restaurants in the
town not to serve us.” Yes, fools are actually organizing boycotts against the
Evans family business to express their misplaced rage. Evans went on to say
that he has a hard time going out with friends now because grown men will flock
to him to express their hurt over his college choice. “It's grown men. They are
asking me why I did this to them. I told them I had to do what is best for me,”
Evans said. He explained that he knew his decision would upset many people, but
the vitriol he’s faced has gone to extremes he never imagined. Some Internet
trolls have reportedly gone so far as to post messages on Instagram telling
Evans that they hope he tears his ACL in his first college game and letting him
know that they’ll be there to laugh at him when he does. If only these tools
had to suit up and face Evans on the field, one imagines their Twitter muscles
would shrink quickly………
- John Oliver is really doing it. The former cast member for
“The Daily Show” who parlayed his two months guest-hosting the basic cable fake
news show over the summer into his own gig on HBO now has a name to go with his
new premium cable offering. Oliver filled in for “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart
while Stewart was off in the Middle East directing a movie and HBO executives
were so impressed that they threw big money at him to host his own show. Nearly
half a year later, that show is shaping up and it not only has a name, but it
also has an official debut date. “Oliver’s Last
Week Tonight With John Oliver” will premiere April 17 at 11 p.m. and it comes
amidst a busy time in the world of late-night television. With Jay Leno
stepping aside as the host of “The Tonight” show and setting off a chain
reaction of talk show swapping that will see Jimmy Fallon take over his show as
Seth Meyers takes Fallon’s place in the subsequent time slot, Oliver steps into
a new world of late-night television. Prior to getting his own show, Oliver
spent seven years as a “Daily Show” correspondent and he joins a growing list
of former correspondents on the show who have spun their limited role into
their own series: Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert and now, Oliver. He’ll have
some help in getting his new show up and running in the form of “Daily Show” head
writer Tim Carvell, who is trekking with him to HBO. “Last Week Tonight” will air on Sunday nights, meaning it won't compete
directly with either Oliver’s old show or the new-look late-night lineup of
weeknights. Here’s hoping Oliver does England proud……..
- I fought the law….and the law tore down my 30-foot tall ice
structure in my back yard. That is the sad tale of Milwaukee resident David
Schardt, who resides in the city’s Bay View neighborhood. Like so many
Wisconsin residents, Schardt is suffering through a brutal winter in which the temperature
may or may not have broached positive numbers on the ol’ thermometer – no one
has had the courage to stay outside long enough to check. What Schardt did find
time to do was build a massive ice sculpture in his back yard that stood the
test of time as the bitter cold air had settled into southeast Wisconsin. A
builder by trade, he spent several weeks constructing the icy art using a pole,
a garden hose and a piece of string. While it is true that MacGyver could
have built a working bomb AND a functional getaway vehicle using those tools, Schardt’s
work is impressive nonetheless. In a matter of mere weeks, he was able to grow
the sculpture to its 30-foot height. That was not only tall enough to get him
attention from local media outlets, but also to catch the attention of
ass-hatted city officials whose first though was, “Oh hell no. We can't have a
30-foot ice sculpture in someone’s yard. The zeroes of people who actually
venture outside in this frozen hellhole of a climate will think it’s tacky and
complain it’s blocking their non-existent view of the sun that hasn’t been seen
in months when they lay out for their winter tan.” The Department of
Neighborhood Services cited Schardt, saying his makeshift plumbing hookup
violated city codes. They also noted a small technicality in that the fact the
sculpture isn’t on Schardt’s property (allegedly), but in a city park.
Officials said if the structure fell or someone was injured while playing on
it, the city could be held liable. They issued Schardt a three-day order to
stop construction and later took the ice behemoth down, one cube at a time……….
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