Thursday, February 06, 2014

Linkin Park promises, Macedonian pedohpiles and bionic hands for Danes


- Well done, science. This is one of the rare days when you not only accomplish something cool, but also something that is necessary and impactful for the world. On this day, scientists have created and successfully attached a bionic hand that allows the wearer to feel lifelike sensations from their fingers. An international team comprised of robotics experts from Italy, Switzerland and Germany crafted the hand and attached it to Dennis Aabo, a Danish man who lost his left hand in a firework accident nearly a decade ago. Aabo underwent surgery in Italy and had the artificial hand connected to the nerves in his upper arm. He called his new hand “amazing” and in post-surgery tests he was able to tell the shape and stiffness of objects he picked up even when blindfolded. "It is the first time that an amputee has had real-time touch sensation from a prosthetic device" said professor Silvestro Micera from the Ecole Polytechnique Federale de Lausanne and Scuola Superiore Sant'Anna, Pisa. The hand itself was not the most advanced aspect of the project; that would be the electronics and software that enabled it to give sensory feedback to the brain. Micera and his team added sensors to the artificial hand so it could detect and measure information about touch. The research team used computer algorithms to transform the electrical signals they emitted into an impulse that sensory nerves could interpret. With their bio-hand completed, they brought Aabo to Rome and affixed four electrodes onto nerves in the patient's upper arm. The electrodes were connected to the artificial sensors in the fingers of the prosthetic hand, allowing touch and pressure feedback to be sent direct to the brain. Aabo spent a month doing laboratory tests to ensure that the electrodes were both connected to his new hand and functioning properly………


- Stop feeding the effing birds, Long Islanders. It is that difficult to understand or is your prototypical New York City arrogance preventing you from seeing the blatantly obvious? Hempstead is the town in question and large-scale bird feedings are the issue. The Hempstead Town Board voted unanimously Tuesday to approve a law that targets property owners who attract many birds with large amounts of food. Virtually everyone has that one tool who lives near them and puts out copious amounts of food for the birds, who then flock to the yard in question and make a mess of the surrounding area with their lost feathers, droppings and general birdie filth. Hempstead can thank the Sessler family for this new measure because the family complained that the owner of the boat yard they live next door to was feeding wheelbarrows filled with cornmeal to birds every day, sometimes several times a day. Patriarch Jeremy Sessler led the charge and should be commended for his effort. “There’s north of a couple of hundred birds — pigeons, geese, swans,” Sessler said. His wife Lara cited the general squalor created by the birds and claimed the animals have been running wild on her property and leaving behind all manner of unseemly odors. “It’s filthy,” Lara Sessler said. “It’s all over our patio, our furniture, our vehicles.” Neighbors from as far as several blocks away confirmed the foul smell, but until Tuesday there was little that could be done. In America’s biggest township, there was no law against feeding as many birds as often as a person wanted. Now, residents are banned from feedings that attract at least 10 birds on at least three days within a 15-day period. Violators can be fined up to $1,000 per violation and while the fine should be steeper and perhaps be part of a wider-reaching law also targeting casual bird feeding, it’s a solid start………


- Speak the truth, @CRO31. New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie knows how NFL players think (just like he knows how to father double-digit children by more than half-dozen different women) and he knows that there is no way the league is going to keep its players from smoking pot. The issue came to the forefront at the Super Bowl because both participating teams hailed from states where ganja is legal for recreational use and Seahawks coach Pete Carroll made waves by saying he agreed with the notion the league should investigate medicinal marijuana to see if it can help players. Commissioner Roger Goodell was non-committal when asked about legalizing the hippie lettuce to help players cope with pain, but Cromartie sees no such gray area. He is well-aware that medicinal marijuana is legal in 20 states, plus the District of Columbia. In the world of Cro, the NFL may as well legalize Mary Jane because players are going to toke up anyhow. "We're just going to do it anyway," Cromartie told. "They just need to let it go. They need to go ahead and say, 'Y'all go ahead, smoke it, do what you need to do.'" After someone close to him alerted him to the fact that saying “we” are going to smoke herb anyhow suggested that he likes to get baked, Cromartie took to Twitter to claim that he was intimating no such thing. “The interview that I did on the weed policy, I never said We're I said tht Players will smoke anyway. I don't smoke so I don't care about it,” he tweeted. Uh-huh, sure thing Cro. Guys with nearly a dozen children by almost that many different women don’t typically come across as the sort of dudes who also like to burn the hippie lettuce, so no worries there. Like his words or not, there is no question he’s correct and not just because dozens of NFLers test positive for marijuana every year. If dozens test positive, then assume the rest of the potheads in the league are merely smart enough to game the system and only smoke their stash after they have their one random annual test………..


- There is only one question to ask when Linkin Park poses an Instagram teaser hinting at a new album: Is this one going to suck less than the band’s previous two train wrecks of sonic awfulness? That question won't be answered for a while, but frontman Mike Shinoda posted the picture along with a few comments on how the new album is shaping up. He suggested it will be much different than Linkin Park’s previous release, “Living Things,” which dropped in 2012. Along with its predecessor, “Minutes to Midnight,” the album almost single-handedly wrecked the image and style the band had crafted by sounding like an extended electronic jam session instead of a hard-charging rap-rock hybrid. "As most Linkin Park fans know, the sound of each album is usually quite different from the last," Shinoda wrote. "The new album is no exception. But, as usual, the album's sound twists and turns as it is created, so any attempt at estimating what it sounds like today would be silly.” In truth, no one needs to know what the album sounds like today. They merely need to know that it won't sound like some clusterf*ck of bad electronic effects that will make them wonder if they mistakenly brought the album of some crappy Euro-pop band that was on the shelf next to Linkin Park at the record store. Shinoda went on to say that the album is likely to take plenty of twists and turns before its release, which does not have an official date yet. The band is slated to be one of the headline acts for Download Festival 2014 and perform their 2000 album “Hybrid Theory” in its entirety at the event……


- Pedophiles of Macedonia, you’ve been warned. The Mediterranean nation’s parliament has adopted a bill imposing chemical castration on repeat offenders convicted of sexually abusing children, a move that should be well-received by children’s rights groups….right? Or not. Immediately after the new law was enacted, the country’s leading child protection group said that the new measure is still too lenient. The Megjasi child protection group, which pushed for castration on child sex offenders, wants the penalty to be mandatory even for first-time offenders. As part of the new law, legislators voted to make penalties harsher for convicted pedophiles, increasing the maximum sentence from 15 years to life imprisonment and imposing chemical castration on second-time offenders. The procedure will be imposed on their release from prison, which seems like the wrong end of their sentence on which to carry out the procedure. Additionally, the law introduces a minimum 15-year prison term for severe sexual offenses against minors, while other sexual-related crimes against children are punishable by between three and 10 years in prison. Any first-time offender who voluntarily gets chemically neutered will be eligible for a reduced sentence, which doesn’t seem like the best deal on the table. Chemical castration involves regular injections that decrease the production of testosterone and the injections can be administered over an extended period of time. Megjasi head Dragi Zmijanac suggested that mandatory castration would “prevent first time offenders repeating the crime," with is both factually and literally accurate while also being a bit on the excessive side. Megjasi also advocated for the tagging of released pedophiles with electronic bracelets, like rare animals in the wild being tracked by scientists, but that too was rejected by lawkmakers. How many pervs will be impacted by this new law? According to the Macedonian Ministry of Labor and Social Policy, 23 people were convicted of pedophilia in 2013. The ministry did not specify how many were repeat offenders……..

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