- Who wants the dead Nazi corpse? The answer seems
to be no one, at least not right now. That’s why the body of a convicted Nazi murderer was
transferred to an Italian military airport Wednesday with no final resting
place in sight. Officials in three countries continue to refuse custody of his
remains and none seem likely to budge any time soon. SS captain Erich Priebke
died while serving a life sentence for his part in the massacre of 335 people
in 1944 and after passing away at the age of 100 while under house arrest, Priebke fully
admitted his crimes and never apologized. His remains have become an issue of
international dispute, with officials in Rome, Argentina and his hometown in
Germany rejecting plans to bury him in their respective nations because of
fears his grave could become a neo-Nazi shrine. The situation was further
complicated Wednesday by angry protests at his funeral by both pro and
anti-Nazi groups. The service was canceled and Priebke’s body was transported
to the Pratica di Mare military base outside Rome. Italian officials
remain responsible for the body, but Rome’s mayor Ignazio Marino has said he
may turn to Germany for help. He shouldn’t expect that help from officials in
Hennigsdorf, the German town where Priebke was born, because they have already
rejected the idea he could be buried there. Priebke's lawyer Paolo Giachini
sounds as frustrated as anyone over the case. “They have made a problem which
they cannot now solve,” Giachini said of Italian officials handling the matter.
“I just wanted to hold a normal funeral and a normal burial and it would be
finished, but the Italian authorities would not allow that.” A controversial Catholic
fringe group, the Society of St. Pius X (SSPX), offered to host the funeral,
but even that proved troublesome. Local mayor Nicola Marini tried to ban the
funeral, but his own police chief overruled him. For now, everyone involved
seems to be hoping that someone else figures out a solution so they don’t have
to do it themselves…..
- Science has done done it again, y’all. Researchers
have unearthed an amazing truth that the world never, ever would have known if
not for the work of some bold, innovative minds. In this case, Joseph Schroeder,
an assistant professor of psychology and director of the Behavioral
Neuroscience Center at Connecticut College, has discovered that Oreos and crack
are equally addictive substances. In his research, Schroeder found that the
preservative-laden cookies can elicit the same reaction and activate the brain
in a similar manner as cocaine and morphine for lab rats. Schroeder insisted he
didn’t single out Oreos, but used them because they were a convenient device to
get enough fat and sugar into the rat's habitat. Of course, a spokeswoman for
Mondelez International, which owns Nabisco, the maker of the famed sandwich
cookie, moved quickly to distance the product from blow, but the damage has
clearly been done. "While it may seem simple to bucket foods as 'good' or
'bad,' the reality is that foods are complex, and encouraging people to enjoy a
balanced diet paired with physical activity is most important," the company
said in a statement. Schroder and one of his neuroscience students, Jamie
Honohan, designed the experiment to examine the effects of high-fat and
high-sugar foods on the brain. "We chose Oreos not only because they are
America's favorite cookie, and highly palatable to rats, but also because
products containing high amounts of fat and sugar are heavily marketed in
communities with lower socioeconomic statuses,” Honohan added. To test just how
additive the cookie equivalent of coke was, the researchers put lab rats into a
habitat with two rooms. One room had an Oreo and the other had a bland, boring rice
cracker. The rats spent much more time in the Oreo room and when the experiment
was repeated with other groups of rats being offered injections of cocaine or
morphine in one room and saline in the other, the animals showed an
"equivalent preference" for a room when it contained an Oreo as when
they were given injections of morphine and cocaine. "That's the novel
finding that applies to us," Schroder said. "We found that the
high-fat or high-sugar food activated the brain to a greater extent than the
cocaine or morphine." How long until shady drug dealers are peddling
8-balls of crushed Oreos on street corners and rock stars are smashing up
Double Stuffed Oreos to snort off the stomachs of groupies………
- Mississippi coach
Andy Kennedy had better have a damn good Marshall plan if he intends to make it
through the coming college basketball season without his leading scorer coming
off the rails. That leading scorer would be the ever flamboyant Marshall
Henderson, famous from saying stupid sh*t like not being able to wait until he
can bust out of college and play in the NBA so he can get paid and doing stupid
sh*t like being found by police with what appeared to be a small amount of
marijuana and cocaine. The latter of those two offenses is the reason Henderson
is currently suspended from the team, although Kennedy had the kahones to
suggest that he believes his star can get through the season incident-free once
he returns from suspension. "If I was a betting man -- not that I am --
but if I was a betting man, I would say that his lesson has been learned and
he's looking forward to the opportunity to play in the SEC," Kennedy said.
Terming the suspension a “a fluid situation," Kennedy said it remains to
be determined how many games the high-scoring guard will miss to start the
season. So far, the coach added, Henderson has so far done everything he's had
to do to get back on the court. "He's been tremendous in his approach and
the way in which he's tried to help young guys," Kennedy said. "I've
really found him to be more of a leader on the floor and take some
responsibility not only for himself but for those around him. I've been pleased
with the way he's responded." As much of a loose cannon as he is, with a
past full of drugs, alcohol and showing up in sports bars the day before NCAA
tournament games, college basketball certainly is more fun to watch with
Marshall Madness around. Who else is going to get themselves reprimanded by the
NCAA for making an "inappropriate gesture" after his team loses to
LaSalle in the NCAA tournament? Also, who else is going to burn enough bridges
to be on his fourth college and still act like a fool? Come back soon,
Marshall………
- Problem, meet easy solution. On the one hand,
residents of one neighborhood on Staten Island are up in arms (or wings)
because an infestation of wild turkeys (no, not Wild Turkey, which would be a
blessing and not a problem) is turning their humble ‘hood into a haven for
filthy fowl. On the other hand, Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and well,
people need turkeys to put on their table so grandpa can carve them horribly
and save the best white meat for himself. Oddly enough, no one is putting these
two logically paired pieces of the same equation together just yet and instead,
mostly there is a lot of whining about the fact that the same flock of turkeys
that has terrorized Staten Island’s South Shore for the past 15 years is back, back again.
These bothersome birds originally took up residence each fall on the campus of
South Beach Psychiatric Center, but dwelling with the crazies didn’t sit well
with the birds and they have relocated to adjacent areas and are making life
difficult for local residents. Dongan Hills resident Barbara Laing said as many
as 60 turkeys call her maple tree home and her family must clean up the mess
the animals make. “They live in this tree,” she said. “They sleep in it. And
they poop all night.” How Laing knows when the turkeys poop is anyone’s guess,
but something must be done about the problem. Shooting the birds is technically
illegal and while that shouldn’t stop anyone, the locals are choosing to abide
by the law – for now. In August, wildlife officials deported 25 rogue turkeys
to an upstate sanctuary after whiny liberal bird huggers complained about a
plan to ship the turkeys to a slaughterhouse. An estimated 80 turkeys remain
and the option of offing them seems like it should be considered again………
- Those living in the general vicinity of Minnesota
and looking to get freaky this weekend, your chariot has arrived. The walking
weirdo that is Prince will be hosting a “pyjama party” at his home and personal recording complex
Paisley Park Studios this weekend. He will play a late-night show on Oct. 19,
similar to the one he played at Paisley Park earlier this month. The difference
this time is the theme for the evening, known simply as “The Breakfast
Experience Pajama Dance Party.” Partygoers must come dressed in sleepwear
and a flier for the event spells out the dress code: "dress 2 impress -
keep it classy!" The flier also states that doors for the gig will open at
2 a.m. and the band will "Party til' the sun comes up!" That would be
Prince’s 3rdEyeGirl band, with which he will rock out with his c*ck out for
many hours. Getting in won't be difficult, as a mere $50 donation is required
on the door. At the last show at Paisley Park Studios, Prince was joined by
both 3rdEyeGirl and his old band New Power Generation. He performed numerous
tracks from his long career, including “Cool, “Nothing Compares 2 U” and “Breakfast
Can Wait.” Nearly 2,000 people attended the show to party with Prince, who has
been releasing a slew of material online in recent months via his 3rdEyeGirl
website. He also went on a theater tour of North America earlier this year,
playing gigs in Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Las Vegas, San
Diego, Anaheim and Denver. The impressive tour include two shows a night at
most venues. What beats two shows a night on the road? Playing all damn night
at your own mansion house party, that’s what………
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