Thursday, October 17, 2013

Pyjama party with Prince, turkeys terrorize Staten Island and Oreos = Crack


- Who wants the dead Nazi corpse? The answer seems to be no one, at least not right now. That’s why the body of a convicted Nazi murderer was transferred to an Italian military airport Wednesday with no final resting place in sight. Officials in three countries continue to refuse custody of his remains and none seem likely to budge any time soon. SS captain Erich Priebke died while serving a life sentence for his part in the massacre of 335 people in 1944 and after passing away at the age of 100 while under house arrest, Priebke fully admitted his crimes and never apologized. His remains have become an issue of international dispute, with officials in Rome, Argentina and his hometown in Germany rejecting plans to bury him in their respective nations because of fears his grave could become a neo-Nazi shrine. The situation was further complicated Wednesday by angry protests at his funeral by both pro and anti-Nazi groups. The service was canceled and Priebke’s body was transported to the Pratica di Mare military base outside Rome. Italian officials remain responsible for the body, but Rome’s mayor Ignazio Marino has said he may turn to Germany for help. He shouldn’t expect that help from officials in Hennigsdorf, the German town where Priebke was born, because they have already rejected the idea he could be buried there. Priebke's lawyer Paolo Giachini sounds as frustrated as anyone over the case. “They have made a problem which they cannot now solve,” Giachini said of Italian officials handling the matter. “I just wanted to hold a normal funeral and a normal burial and it would be finished, but the Italian authorities would not allow that.” A controversial Catholic fringe group, the Society of St. Pius X (SSPX), offered to host the funeral, but even that proved troublesome. Local mayor Nicola Marini tried to ban the funeral, but his own police chief overruled him. For now, everyone involved seems to be hoping that someone else figures out a solution so they don’t have to do it themselves….. 


- Science has done done it again, y’all. Researchers have unearthed an amazing truth that the world never, ever would have known if not for the work of some bold, innovative minds. In this case, Joseph Schroeder, an assistant professor of psychology and director of the Behavioral Neuroscience Center at Connecticut College, has discovered that Oreos and crack are equally addictive substances. In his research, Schroeder found that the preservative-laden cookies can elicit the same reaction and activate the brain in a similar manner as cocaine and morphine for lab rats. Schroeder insisted he didn’t single out Oreos, but used them because they were a convenient device to get enough fat and sugar into the rat's habitat. Of course, a spokeswoman for Mondelez International, which owns Nabisco, the maker of the famed sandwich cookie, moved quickly to distance the product from blow, but the damage has clearly been done. "While it may seem simple to bucket foods as 'good' or 'bad,' the reality is that foods are complex, and encouraging people to enjoy a balanced diet paired with physical activity is most important," the company said in a statement. Schroder and one of his neuroscience students, Jamie Honohan, designed the experiment to examine the effects of high-fat and high-sugar foods on the brain. "We chose Oreos not only because they are America's favorite cookie, and highly palatable to rats, but also because products containing high amounts of fat and sugar are heavily marketed in communities with lower socioeconomic statuses,” Honohan added. To test just how additive the cookie equivalent of coke was, the researchers put lab rats into a habitat with two rooms. One room had an Oreo and the other had a bland, boring rice cracker. The rats spent much more time in the Oreo room and when the experiment was repeated with other groups of rats being offered injections of cocaine or morphine in one room and saline in the other, the animals showed an "equivalent preference" for a room when it contained an Oreo as when they were given injections of morphine and cocaine. "That's the novel finding that applies to us," Schroder said. "We found that the high-fat or high-sugar food activated the brain to a greater extent than the cocaine or morphine." How long until shady drug dealers are peddling 8-balls of crushed Oreos on street corners and rock stars are smashing up Double Stuffed Oreos to snort off the stomachs of groupies………


- Mississippi coach Andy Kennedy had better have a damn good Marshall plan if he intends to make it through the coming college basketball season without his leading scorer coming off the rails. That leading scorer would be the ever flamboyant Marshall Henderson, famous from saying stupid sh*t like not being able to wait until he can bust out of college and play in the NBA so he can get paid and doing stupid sh*t like being found by police with what appeared to be a small amount of marijuana and cocaine. The latter of those two offenses is the reason Henderson is currently suspended from the team, although Kennedy had the kahones to suggest that he believes his star can get through the season incident-free once he returns from suspension. "If I was a betting man -- not that I am -- but if I was a betting man, I would say that his lesson has been learned and he's looking forward to the opportunity to play in the SEC," Kennedy said. Terming the suspension a “a fluid situation," Kennedy said it remains to be determined how many games the high-scoring guard will miss to start the season. So far, the coach added, Henderson has so far done everything he's had to do to get back on the court. "He's been tremendous in his approach and the way in which he's tried to help young guys," Kennedy said. "I've really found him to be more of a leader on the floor and take some responsibility not only for himself but for those around him. I've been pleased with the way he's responded." As much of a loose cannon as he is, with a past full of drugs, alcohol and showing up in sports bars the day before NCAA tournament games, college basketball certainly is more fun to watch with Marshall Madness around. Who else is going to get themselves reprimanded by the NCAA for making an "inappropriate gesture" after his team loses to LaSalle in the NCAA tournament? Also, who else is going to burn enough bridges to be on his fourth college and still act like a fool? Come back soon, Marshall………


- Problem, meet easy solution. On the one hand, residents of one neighborhood on Staten Island are up in arms (or wings) because an infestation of wild turkeys (no, not Wild Turkey, which would be a blessing and not a problem) is turning their humble ‘hood into a haven for filthy fowl. On the other hand, Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and well, people need turkeys to put on their table so grandpa can carve them horribly and save the best white meat for himself. Oddly enough, no one is putting these two logically paired pieces of the same equation together just yet and instead, mostly there is a lot of whining about the fact that the same flock of turkeys that has terrorized Staten Island’s South Shore for the past 15 years is back, back again. These bothersome birds originally took up residence each fall on the campus of South Beach Psychiatric Center, but dwelling with the crazies didn’t sit well with the birds and they have relocated to adjacent areas and are making life difficult for local residents. Dongan Hills resident Barbara Laing said as many as 60 turkeys call her maple tree home and her family must clean up the mess the animals make. “They live in this tree,” she said. “They sleep in it. And they poop all night.” How Laing knows when the turkeys poop is anyone’s guess, but something must be done about the problem. Shooting the birds is technically illegal and while that shouldn’t stop anyone, the locals are choosing to abide by the law – for now. In August, wildlife officials deported 25 rogue turkeys to an upstate sanctuary after whiny liberal bird huggers complained about a plan to ship the turkeys to a slaughterhouse. An estimated 80 turkeys remain and the option of offing them seems like it should be considered again………


- Those living in the general vicinity of Minnesota and looking to get freaky this weekend, your chariot has arrived. The walking weirdo that is Prince will be hosting a “pyjama party” at his home and personal recording complex Paisley Park Studios this weekend. He will play a late-night show on Oct. 19, similar to the one he played at Paisley Park earlier this month. The difference this time is the theme for the evening, known simply as “The Breakfast Experience Pajama Dance Party.” Partygoers must come dressed in sleepwear and a flier for the event spells out the dress code: "dress 2 impress - keep it classy!" The flier also states that doors for the gig will open at 2 a.m. and the band will "Party til' the sun comes up!" That would be Prince’s 3rdEyeGirl band, with which he will rock out with his c*ck out for many hours. Getting in won't be difficult, as a mere $50 donation is required on the door. At the last show at Paisley Park Studios, Prince was joined by both 3rdEyeGirl and his old band New Power Generation. He performed numerous tracks from his long career, including “Cool, “Nothing Compares 2 U” and “Breakfast Can Wait.” Nearly 2,000 people attended the show to party with Prince, who has been releasing a slew of material online in recent months via his 3rdEyeGirl website. He also went on a theater tour of North America earlier this year, playing gigs in Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Las Vegas, San Diego, Anaheim and Denver. The impressive tour include two shows a night at most venues. What beats two shows a night on the road? Playing all damn night at your own mansion house party, that’s what………

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