Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Distance running dogs, crappy new notebooks and bribing the Ukraine


- Hey Ukraine…..how would you like to avoid the corrupting influnce of the evil Western world AND get some nice bribes, er, perks and benefits in the process? Your pal and Russia’s resident evil dictator disguised as a justly elected president, Mr. Vlad Putin, has an offer for you. Putin confirmed that Russia has extended loans and energy discounts to Ukraine in a shameless and overt effort to woo its economically struggling neighbor back into the Kremlin's sphere of influence. Not surprisngly, Putin’s regime vehemently opposes Kiev's plan to sign a free trade agreement with the European Union in November because that would mean the former Soviet republic actually has a mind of its own and isn't under Russia’s heavy hand any longer. To ensure that Ukraine doesn’t break away completely, Putin may want to go black ops and meddle in the one situation that oculd derail its potential deal with the EU: European demands for the release from prison of former premier Yulia Tymoshenko. Tymoshenko remains behind bars for a sham trial, but if Ukrainian leaders are willing to release her, then the EU might want to play nice with them economically. Lobbying with charm is new for Russia, which typically operates via threats and sanctions. Instead, Putin on Tuesday sought to strike a conciliatory tone during a speech at an economic summit in Indonesia. The despot stressed that Russia and Ukraine are "brotherly states” and noted that Russian banks have extended a $750 million loan to Ukraine and the energy giant Gazprom recently sold it natural gas at a discount. Nice try, but it might not be enough to hold onto your pal Ukraine, Vlad……..


- Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith is always willing to share his thoughts on a variety of topics. Smith is a small guy with big opinions and after Sunday's 22-6 loss to the Arizona Cardinals, his opinions were all about umpire Dan Ferrell, who (incompetently) worked the game. Already angry that he dropped a couple of passes, including one that would have been a first-quarter touchdown, Smith went off on Ferrell the day after the game. He blasted Ferrell for allegedly missing at least one pass interference call and refusing to give him the proper spot late in the third quarter. "To be honest, I make enough money where if Roger [Goodell] wants to fine me, he can," Smith said Monday. "I really think that referee probably was the sorriest referee I have ever met." He wasn’t nearly done and when pressed to specify which official he was referring to, Smith confirmed he was talking about Ferrell, who wears No. 64. "No. 64, he was garbage," Smith said. "There is a lot of things I would let him hold, but nothing valuable." Typical NFL modus operandi is to fine players and coaches for being critical of officials, but Smith doesn’t give a damn. He’s bent about an Arizona defender interfering by grabbing his jersey and Ferrell doing nothing about it. "No. 64 told me on my route, I felt like I got held where he had the back of my jersey," Smith said. "[The defender] used that to slingshot his way through and bat the ball down. "[Ferrell] said he grabbed my jersey. He saw it, but he didn't think it was enough to change the course of the route.” Smith seemed further incensed that Ferrell continued to explain the play to him repeatedly during the game and also that he was called for offensive pass interference late in the third quarter as the Panthers were trying to overcome a deficit. His last gripe came over a play that was initially ruled to end up just short of the first down line, only to have the call reversed in his team’s favor when the Panthers challenged it……….


- HP should quit, but it won't. It continues to make terrible computers and pretend that selling them for low prices makes them better. (Hint: It doesn’t.) Thus, fresh off the release of the colorful HP Chromebook 14, HP and Google have announced a second device for the Chrome OS, the HP Chromebook 11. Yes, the number beside the name is going down, which either represents the IQ of the person likely to buy it or general confusion on the part of those making it as to how numerical sequencing for new products tends to work. Either way, the new Chromebook joins the likes of the Samsung Chromebook Series 3 and the Acer C7 Chromebook in the field of portable, netbook-sized devices that sell for under $300. The only real quality working in the HP Chromebook 11’s favor is that it will start at an affordable $279.99. From there, it’s all downhill – and not just because users will spend four times that much repairing it over the short time they own it. No, a device made of bright-colored plastic that conceals a premium thermal-bonded magnesium chassis isn't exactly a sturdy machine. Sure, there are many color combinations made possible by white designs accented with a rainbow of colors (variations on Google's blue, red, yellow and green), but bright colors cannot camouflage a crappy computer. The Chromebook 11 measures 0.7 inches thick and weighs a svelte 2.3 pounds and it also contains a Samsung Exynos ARM processor and a battery life that should last up to six hours, according to HP. Oh, and it is also the first notebook on the market to offer USB charging, which would be nice if the computer is charged wasn’t a chintzy piece of crap. Heck, this new gadget doesn’t even have a touch screen, but the tunes you crank on it can be totally bitchin’ thanks to two digitally tuned speakers……..


- Running a half-marathon can be expensive. Even dogs know this and it’s probably why Saturday morning's YMCA Half-Marathon in Evansville, Ind. had an unexpected bandit runner. Bandit runners are those who take part in a race without registering and most of the time, they’re human. The individual who jumped in and ran the half-marathon Saturday morning was neither human nor a biped and yet, he completed the course like hundreds of other runners. This bandit went by the name Boogie and he is a chocolate lab who joined the runners just as the race started on Reitz Hill. For reasons that remain unclear, no one stepped in to demand that Boogie produce proper identification or pay an entry fee and instead, officials allowed the dog to run the race. Unlike many of the humans who took to the course, Boogie completed the entire 13.1 miles without assistance and when he crossed the finish line, he did not strike a ridiculous pose or fall down in exhaustion. Instead, Boogie was met at the finish line by animal control officers, who took him into custody and transported him to the nearest animal shelter for some much-needed rest. Sadly, Boogie did not receive an official time or a finisher’s medal, but Evansville Animal Care and Control was able to locate the dog’s owners and Boogie returned home, presumably with a strong sense of accomplishment and self-worth for having overcome such a challenge without actually training for it first. Boogie was not available for comment on rumors that next year’s Indianapolis Marathon would be his next race……..


- David Byrne is rich, he’s talented, he’s eccentric…and he’s ranting about the “1 percent” taking over his hometown of New York while he vacations in Italy. Byrne, writing an opinion piece on the current state of society in Manhattan, claimed that the wealthiest section of New York's population has crushed the city's creative energy. The former Talking Heads frontman believes that New York is becoming increasingly dictated by wealth and not culture and he’s prepared to do something about it, namely leave. He has threatened to vacate the premises if the über-rich continue to trample the crteative spirit that made New York such a haven for great punk bands and the music scene in general as he and his band were rising to fame in the 1970s. “The city is a body and a mind – a physical structure as well as a repository of ideas and information. Knowledge and creativity are resources. If the physical (and financial) parts are functional, then the flow of ideas, creativity and information are facilitated,” Byrne wrote. “The city is a fountain that never stops: it generates its energy from the human interactions that take place in it.” Byrne went on the explain that, in his humble view, many of the city’s residents are excluded from this elitist version of New York and while the infrastructure of Manhattan has improved greatly, its human element has lagged behind. He saluted the new bike lanes and the bikeshare program, the new public plazas, the waterfront parks and the functional public transportation system, but is more concerned that the cultural side of the town has been “usurped by the top 1 per cent." In the end, Byrne holds out hope that New York can recover and become more like the city he remembers from 30 years ago. If it doesn’t, the world will see if he actually meant his threat or was just bloviating for the hell of it………

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