Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Angry Carolina Panthers, wedding thieves and poor kids suffer even more

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- Now THIS is the kind of TA college dudes want in their math class. A TA who shows a little T&A is just what the doctor(al) candidate in the making ordered when slogging through that über-boring algebra or trigonometry class and that’s precisely what a University of Iowa teaching assistant “accidentally” did when sending out an email to the entire class last week. The female TA sent still shots from what appear to be a sexting session with a male special friend as attachments to an e-mail she mass emailed to the entire pre-calculus class she helped teach to business students. The e-mail reads: “Hi Class, I attach the solutions for number 76 and 78 in this email.” And no, she did not include the solution for problem No. 69, so don’t even ask. As would be expected, the images created an immediate stir on social media sites and the embarrassed TA informed university officials what she had done. Oddly enough, she is no longer assigned to their class and has been tasked elsewhere in the department. University spokesman Tom Moore confirmed the assignment change and called the incident unfortunate for all involved, which is of course blatantly untrue. It’s fair to say that virtually all guys in the class would describe the incident as anything but unfortunate and yet, the woman told university officials she regrets her mistake. She is far from the first person to accidentally attach the wrong file to an email, but she is also a shining example of the reality that if you don’t take or keep nude pictures of yourself, then nude pictures of yourself will never end up online. The best part of the entire story is the TA trying to conduct class the next day as if nothing had happened, a solution that obviously didn’t last long……..




- As if poor people didn’t already have enough to worry about……now this? A new study led by Dr. Joan “Feel Good News” Luby of the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis found that exposure to poverty in early childhood is linked with smaller brain structures later in life. Yes, nurturing can offset poverty's negative effect, but can poor folks really afford enough nurturing to sufficiently overcome their low-class status? Luby and her team conducted MRI exams on impoverished children and found that these children had smaller white and gray matter volumes compared with normative values in early adolescence. The researchers also found that poverty was a significant predictor of left hippocampus volume and left amygdala volume. They discovered that something as simple as supportive parental language during a laboratory task conducted with preschool age children positively influenced left and right hippocampus volumes later in life and therefore benefitted brain growth. The education level of parents did not have any influence on brain development in the study, meaning well-educated parents who pick crappy professions that pay them little money don’t help their children’s brains. While all of this might seem very abstract, the results should benefit future research into how early adversity can influence human development throughout a life span. It may not be on the same level as childhood exposure to lead, alcohol or drugs, but is clearly matters. The 145 children in the study were all ages 6 to 12 and they had all been followed since preschool. They were all culled from a pool of children who participated in a preschool depression study. Parents were also involved in the study and they were evaluated annually regarding stress during preschool years. Both parents and children were interviewed when the children reached the age of 9 and he assessment of supportive or hostile parenting was made after evaluating parent/child interactions during a task. "The finding that the effects of poverty on hippocampal development are mediated through care-giving and stressful life events further underscores the importance of high-quality early childhood care-giving,” the authors concluded………




- There is always a use for the most abhorrent and mind-numbingly bad music…as proven by the past few years at Guantanamo Bay. Don’t even bother asking how many terrorist confessions – both legit and those fictional ones created solely to avoid more torture by song – have come out of cranking Bieber, One Direction and Katy Perry to Gitmo’s captives…it’s a lot. But perhaps no use of terrible music is more inspired than the efforts of sailors who are using the song stylings of none other than Britney Spears to scare off Somali pirates off the coast of east Africa. These intrepid protectors of the high seas are spinning the likes of Spears’ ear-assaulting “hits” “Oops! I Did It Again” and “Baby One More Time” to ward off new-age swashbucklers and keep ships safe. Merchant Navy officer Rachel Owens, who works on supertankers off the east coast of Africa, explained how the original concept came about. "Her songs were chosen by the security team because they thought the pirates would hate them most,” Owens succinctly stated. “These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect. As soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney, they move on as quickly as they can.” It’s a great riff on the ol’ retail store trick of playing classical music to send annoyed teenagers scurrying to the exists and while Spears has made plenty of awful music since those two songs and a more modern slant would be nice, what works is all that matters. "Pirates will go to any lengths to avoid or try to overcome the music,” said Steven Jones, of the Security Association for the Maritime Industry, before dropping a real zinger. "I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention." Hey-oh! Look at Steve-O, dropping comedic bombs on the masses. If the sailors need more ammo, Spears will drop her new album, “Britney Jean,” on Dec. 3……….




- For anyone who has ever been invited to a boring wedding involving two people they barely know and has therefore been compelled to drop $25 on a wedding gift for two near-strangers, an unidentified (and sorta masked) man in Cyprus has exacted a measure of revenge. This maniac, wearing a stocking over his head, dashed into a Cyprus wedding reception in the town of Limassol and - in plain view of the stunned newlyweds and their guests - made off with a bag filled with cash and checks from guests. Cypriot brides and grooms, like their American counterparts, often count on such sacks of loot to help them get off on the right foot in their new life. What’s interesting is that with security at weddings decidedly lax virtually anywhere in the world, very few thieves ever attempt to burst into a reception and Electric Slide their way through the crowd, pilfer the cash and Chicken Dance their way out the door before anyone can stop them. In Cyprus, such bags often contain thousands of euros and with the island mired in a deep economic crisis, they are more important than ever. No suspect has been officially identified, but police spokesman Andreas Angelides said authorities have detained a man who fits the culprit's build and other general description and are still investigating. However, they have not yet found the bag of money, raising the possibility that the thief either hid it somewhere nearby or was working with an accomplice who made off with the cash unseen……..




- The Carolina Panthers are an angry bunch this season. Considering their three-game winning streak and sudden status as NFC playoff contenders, Ron Rivera’s crew should be much happier. Instead, combustible receiver Steve Smith is vowing to punch opposing defensive backs in the mouth if he sees them on the street and safety Mike Mitchell is calling out the commissioner for allegedly making him a target for fines. Mitchell lobbed a verbal scud at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Monday after he was fined $7,875 for taunting on a fourth-quarter play in which St. Louis Rams quarterback Sam Bradford  suffered a season-ending knee injury. Mitchell doesn’t sound like a fan of the commish’s push to take some of the über-violence out of football. Roger being Roger, I guess," Mitchell said. "To be honest, I think there is a little bit of a targeting system they have out. I think I'm one of the guys they'd been looking for, but I'm OK with that." According to Mitchell, this is his fifth fine of the year, including the preseason, totaling close to $45,000. Although monies from fines are generally distributed to local charities across all American professional sports leagues, Mitchell believes his payments went elsewhere. Right in Roger's pocket. Right in his pocket. On camera, right in his pocket is where it's going,” Mitchell deadpanned. He then noted that two of his fines came on plays in which he wasn't penalized, including his shove that sent Bradford out of bounds. He was fined for standing on the sideline with his arms spread wide after the hit, unaware that Bradford was injured. In his world view, the fine came because it involved a "big-name quarterback." Mitchell is in his first year with the Panthers and he’s working on a one-year deal, so perhaps some of his anger comes from paying fines out of a salary much smaller than many of his teammates. "I'm just being targeted because I play football and am physical," Mitchell said. "I'm not out here cheap-shotting guys or doing dirty plays like you've seen people from Detroit do. I'm not going to name any names, but I'm not out here doing those things, so why I'm getting fined I have no idea.” Fines or not, Mitchell has a definite reputation around the league for being a borderline dirty player but insisted he has made an effort to cut back on the personal fouls that hurt his team……..

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