Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Mars Tupperware, China engineers weather and another Hollywood spin-off


- If you’re not making a spin-off, sequel or remake in Hollywood these days, you’re just not trying. Disney knows this better than most and it’s why the House that Sequels built is planning a new live-action movie centered on iconic “101 Dalmatians” villain Cruella De Vil. Screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna (“The Devil Wears Prada”) has been tasked with penning the script and will have the help of Glenn Close, who played the role De Vil in Disney's 1996 live-action “101 Dalmatians” movie and its 2000 sequel “102 Dalmatians.” Close will serve as an executive producer for the new project, built around the story of a glamorous London-based heiress who kidnaps Dalmatian puppies for their polka dot fur. Of course, Disney ripped off the story from Dodie Smith's classic 1956 children's novel “The Hundred and One Dalmatians,” first bringing the tale to the big screen in its 1961 animated film of the same name and the two live-action movies starring Close. McKenna will be a busy lady for the foreseeable future, as she is also putting the finishing touches on a new live-action Cinderella film for Disney which director Kenneth Branagh started shooting last month in London. For that project, notable names such as Helena Bonham Carter (the Fairy Godmother) and Cate Blanchett (the Wicked Stepmother). Disney actually seems to be on something of a kick with the idea of spinning evil characters from successful movies off into their own films, as it has also started production on a movie fronted by Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, with the live-action effort set for a release date of May 30 and Angelina Jolie taking time off from adopting Third World orphans to star in the movie………


- Corn mazes are a fall staple in all places truly Americana. But is there a better way to cut meandering paths in perfectly good fields of corn so hipster losers and bored soccer moms looking to get their kids out of the house for part of the weekend can wander around in the middle of nowhere and feel accomplished when they find the flag you left for them at the end of the maze? Of course there is. Doylestown, Pa. resident Don ““Corn Maze Guy” is a man in search of that better way and he just may have found it. Watts has crafted corn mazes since before they were only mildly uncool (i.e. 1989) and has grown his business to the point where he can actually charge other people to design mazes for them. He’s crafted a wide range of designs and charges anywhere between $900 to $3,000 for a project. Farmers wanting to make use of their land one final time before winter after they harvest their crops seek him out and the process of cutting the corn stalks down begins late in the summer. Watts’ services have become so much in demand that this year, he traveled all across the United States to cut 52 corn mazes – yes, he was actually paid to fly around to other states and tell farmers how to best cut down their corn stalks. Better still, he’s leaning heavily on technology to make his designs a reality. “We hook up our GPS antenna to the top of the mower and then using a hand held computer similar to this we display the design here then it’s just a matter of following this design with the mower and cutting it into the field,” Watts said. “The path is about five feet wide and the corn stalk is 13 feet talk but the process starts when the corn is about a foot high.” He explained that the ideal way to cut a corn maze is to leave a little bit of stubble on the ground, much in the same way Matthew McConaughey shaves his face before stepping out the front door to delight the lonely women of the world………


- Did you know China has its very own Weather Modification Office? It’s true, as is the fact that these supposed weather wizards are nothing more than Communist stool pigeons who can't actually alter the weather. That much was proven on Tuesday when thunder and flashes of lightning before dawn dampened the celebrations for the communist hell hole’s National Day. China devotes more time and money to weather modification than any other country and its Beijing office is part of a national system that employs more than 1,500 experts and 40,00 part-time workers and is stocked with a fleet of aircraft, anti-aircraft guns and rocket launchers to shell the clouds with chemicals. If you buy into communist propaganda, the agency has affected more than 500,000 weather modifications since 2002. During the Beijing Olmpics last year, the agency took credit for keeping the city’s smog-choked skies (relatively) clear, the same thing it took credit for during the big celebration of the 60th anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic four years ago. However, their efforts failed on Tuesday, although the skies were blue and smog was (relatively) sparse by the time afternoon rolled around. National Day celebrations in Tiananmen Square (squashing dissident with tanks optional) were washed out, although Communist Party leaders trudged through torrential rain and sloshed through puddles with their identical gray umbrellas to present soggy flower baskets to Monument of the People's Heroes in the center of the square. There were rain-soaked students struggling through choreographed dance routines and goose-stepping soldiers getting their march on. The weather drove all but the participants from the square as President Xi Jinping presided over the festivities, which were carried live on four television channels. There was no official confirmation on whether all Weather Office personnel were marched out into the wilderness and shot once the party ended……..


- Perhaps there is intelligent life on Mars after all. After all, if the Red Planet has its own version of Tupperware, then someone there must feel the need to store leftover meatloaf and holiday cookies. Technically, what NASA has discovered on Mars is propylene, the key ingredient in household plastic containers, but finding it in the atmosphere of Saturn's smoggy moon Titan is a positive sign for those hoping aliens really do exist. It is the first time this particular hydrocarbon has been detected on a world beyond Earth, as well as the first new molecule to be identified by the Cassini orbiter's Composite Infrared Spectrometer. NASA's Voyager 1 spacecraft did find similar hydrocarbons in 1980, but no one had seen the propylene before now. "It's taken us 32 years, with a new spacecraft and a new instrument, to find it," said Conor Nixon of NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center. "It's kind of a missing link." Making actual Tupperware from the supply of the hydrocarbon found on Titan would be tough, as the amount propylene in Titan's atmosphere amounts to just a few parts per billion. Subtract the actual factory needed to chain together the molecules and mold it into polypropylene plastic and even the planned private Mars colony in the works for the years ahead may not be able to pull it off. The find is noteworthy because scientists view Titan as a sort of analog to an age on ancient Earth before oxygen became a significant ingredient of the atmosphere. "Titan as a whole has a very interesting chemical environment," Nixon added. "Because there's no free oxygen on Titan, it means this organic chemistry can just keep running and running and running like a huge natural experiment, and it can keep building more and more complex chemicals." On top of all of this exciting (and irrelevant) space news, Titan's atmosphere and lakes contain variants of methane and ethane and if those hydrocarbons interact just right with the water ice that's thought to lie on Titan's surface, they can be transformed into the chemical building blocks of life, including amino acids………


- The stories of folks f*kced over by the ongoing shutdown of the federal government are only beginning to roll in. Sports would seem to be one of the few areas relatively immune from the shutdown, but even America’s favorite sport cannot fully evade the blundering ineptitude of The Man. With the federal government only keeping “essential agencies” (and Congress) functioning during the shutdown, the three U.S. service academies who compete in Division I collegiate athletics are feeling the sting as well. Army, Navy and Air Force might be forced to skip their football games this weekend as a result of the partial government shutdown. The Defense Department temporarily suspended sports competition at the service academies Tuesday. Pentagon spokesman Army Col. Steve Warren added that lawyers were reviewing the decision to ascertain whether the funds used for such activities are congressionally appropriated. That decision leaves the Army at Boston College and Air Force at Navy football games in jeopardy, with a decision to be made by noon Thursday about whether the Midshipmen will play the Air Force. Travel for all Air Force teams has been halted and Air Force associate athletic director Troy Garnhart confirmed that football coach Troy Calhoun’s weekly news conference was canceled Tuesday "due to the government shutdown.” The possible alternative to keeping the games going would be finding a way to use non-appropriated funds for the Air Force team to travel to Navy and the Army team to travel to Boston College for Saturday's scheduled games. Navy and Air Force have played each other every year since 1972 and the two sides don’t share a mutual off week where their game could be rescheduled until Dec. 7, at which point Congress may have removed its collective head from its collective ass (also known as Mitch McConnell) and ended the shutdown. Air force officials acknowledged that offers have been made to pay for the service academy football teams' travel costs to games if the government shutdown doesn't end before Saturday, but nothing has been arranged just yet……..

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