- World, you may have loved the finale of “Breaking
Bad,” but your opinion definitely doesn’t matter as much as a famous person and
if you’re honest, you know this to be true. So if a talent-deprived pop hack
who is more famous for acting slutty on stage and going bat-sh*t insane than
for her music says the finale was no good, then it sucked and even Walter White
himself must acknowledge this fact. That’s exactly what happened after Britney
Spears after she revealed she was disappointed with the final episode of the
hit AMC drama. Spears, who was for some odd reason asked what she thought about
a good TV show even though her limited forays into acting have been both awful
and forgettable, explained that she was a huge fan of the show but was sad to
see it end
on a less-than-positive note for its fifth and final season. Never mind that it
was a dark and disturbed series full of meth addicts, drug dealers and
all-around evil people – Britney Spears wants a happy finale where Walter White
and Jesse Pinkman hold hands and skip off into the sunset while shooting each
other up with blue meth and counting their millions. "OMG I love the
show," Spears said. "I didn't like it (the finale) at all. I didn't
think he should have died … Maybe they'll do another episode where the ambulance
comes and revives him.” Sadly, one of TV’s all-time badasses did not respond
the way he should have, namely putting a boot up Spears’ pop princess ass. No,
actor Bryan Cranston took to Twitter to reply and tweeted, “To
@BrittneySpear5. Not happy with the Breaking Bad finale? Or just sad that Walt
died? Glad you felt for him. RIP W.W. maybe I'm still here.” Wrong move, Bry………
- So THAT’s how Greenpeace has recruited new members so
successfully for so many years. According to Russian
investigators, a Greenpeace ship seized during a protest in the Arctic last
month had a little something extra on board to, um, kick the protest up a
notch. If one is to believe possibly corrupt officials from a communist regime,
Greenpeace rolls with some manner of hard drugs aboard its vessels. "During a
search of the ship, drugs (apparently poppy straw and morphine) were
confiscated," Russia's Investigative Committee said. What sort of hard
drugs? That would be poppy straw, or raw opium, which can be used to produce
morphine or heroin. Predictably, the Greenpeace tweakers and heroin junkies
denied the allegations and said in a statement
that any suggestion of illegal drugs being found was a "smear"
against their fine organization. "We can only assume the Russian
authorities are referring to the medical supplies that our ships are obliged to
carry under maritime law," the statement read. Following the protest, 30 people
are being held on suspicion of piracy after they attempted to scale a Russian
oil rig. The head of Greenpeace International, Kumi Naidoo, has written to
Russian President Vladimir Putin in attempt to trade himself as a hostage, er,
substitute for the detainees. The crew of the ship, Arctic Sunrise, hail from
18 nations and none other than the lovable stoners from the Netherlands have demanded
the immediate release of the detainees, who are being held in the northern port
of Murmansk pending trial, as well as the release of their the Dutch-flagged
ship. However, the Investigative Committee warned that charges against some of
the detainees might change in the light of evidence gathered from the ship. The
committee ominously suggested that in addition to the suspected drugs,
"dual-purpose" equipment was found on the Arctic Sunrise, it said, adding
that this "could be used not only for ecological purposes.” Sadly,
Greenpeace is denying the whole story and hiding behind the claim that even
recreational drugs are forbidden on its ships. If only it would embrace its
drug-tastic identity, it would never need a membership drive ever again……….
- Stanford coach David Shaw may coach wicked smart football
players who record near-perfect scores on their SAT and will someday work in an
ivory tower above the rest of us, but he won't back down from a fight and won't
stand for accusations of fakery against his team. Shaw may not have been
looking for a brawl, but he wasn’t afraid to get into one with Washington coach
Steve Sarkisian over allegations that the Cardinal faked injuries in its 31-28
win against Washington on Saturday. Sarkisian came right out and said that a
Stanford assistant coach was directing players to stay down after plays ended
in order to slow down the Huskies’ fast paced attack. "Their defensive
line coach (Randy Hart) was telling them to sit down," Sarkisian said.
"I guess that's how we play here at Stanford, so we'll have to prepare for
that next time." When the comments got back to Shaw, it took him all of
five seconds to go nuclear with straight fire on Sarkisian’s accusatory ass. "We
don't fake injuries. We never have and we never will," Shaw said.
"And I don't care what Steve Sarkisian thinks that he saw." The
allegations against Hart were slightly sketchy because he spent 21 seasons at
Washington beginning in 1988 and has coached college football every year since
1970,
including the last four seasons at Stanford. It almost felt
as if Sarkisian targeted him for “defecting” from Washington, not to mention
the fact that no coach blasts an opposing team’s assistant coach publicly. "I believe it's unprofessional to call
out an assistant coach on another team. It was unprofessional; it was disrespectful,"
Shaw said. "The only D-line coach that I know of that's ever instructed
players to fake an injury works at the University of Washington, not at
Stanford. "That's not calling a person out, that's stating a fact."
Shaw, who didn’t name names, was clearly referring to Washington defensive line
coach Tosh Lupoi, who was suspended for a game in 2010, while at Cal, after
admitting to coaching the strategy in a game against Oregon. Shaw went on to
prod Sarkisian by noting that Stanford has beaten Washington five of their last
six matchups and when they did lose to the Huskies, they didn’t make excuses or
accuse Washington of cheating………
- Who’s down for a cool story of a massive, flaming comet
capable of taking out all of human kind? Then grab a seat and hear the magical
story of a massive
comet that soared into Earth's atmosphere about 28 million years ago and
exploded upon entry, raining down a "shockwave of fire" that killed
off everything in its path and created a sea of silica glass spread out over a
3,600-square-mile area in the Sahara desert. A team of South African scientists
made the find, which marks the first-ever definitive proof of a comet striking
Earth. “Comets always visit our skies -- they're these dirty snowballs of ice
mixed with dust -- but never before in history has material from a comet ever
been found on Earth," said professor and team leader David Block. Block
and his crew hope that understanding comets and how their impacts affect
planets in the earlier stages of formation will help them in piecing together
answers to longstanding mysteries surrounding our solar system. They spent
several years conducting chemical analysis on a black pebble that was found by
an Egyptian geologist among the shards of silica left by the comet's blast.
Yes, all of that analysis on a black pebble with small shards of silica. Researchers
discovered that the blast from the comet heated the sand beneath it to about
2,000 degrees Celsius when it impacted with Earth. The resulting silica has
been found in highly valuable jewelry, including a brooch of the Egyptian
pharaoh Tutankhamun. The black pebble was allegedly the comet's nucleus, and
the first well-known hand specimen of such an object ever found on Earth. "NASA
and ESA (European Space Agency) spend billions of dollars collecting a few
micrograms of comet material and bringing it back to Earth, and now we've got a
radical new approach of studying this material, without spending billions of
dollars collecting it," study co-author Jan Kramers of the University of
Johannesburg. Because they found the pebble, the researchers received the
privilege of naming it and dubbed it Hypatia, after the Alexandrine philosopher
and astronomer who became the first well-documented woman in mathematics………
- Way to encourage idiocy again, Guinness World Records. The fools who
encourage other fools to attempt pointless and worthless feats like the largest
collection of thimbles or gather the most losers doing the Macarena while
wearing a lampshade on their head and neon orange yoga pants have done done it
again, this time inspiring small-town yokels in Smithfield, Va. to aim high by
setting a world record for having the largest bottle of motor oil. Yes, having
the world’s largest bottle of motor oil. Smithfield Fast Lube has been
officially recognized by for setting the mark and now zeroes and zeroes
of people will flock to the town to see a giant container of something they can
easily find on the shelf at their local Walmart or under the hood of their car.
“I don’t
think it’s going to be broken for a while because it’s a really big bottle of
oil,” said owner Greg Schlickenmeyer, who has a clear penchant for stating the
blatantly obvious. In order to set this indisputably moronic record, Schlickenmeyer
and his brother Mike had to make sure everything was exact, from the unique
shape to the detailed label. Their oversized bottle is so legit that it
even has a functional cap that can be unscrewed from the bottle. A local
luminary named Kurt Beach made sure everything was authentic and Beach, along
with the town manager, did just that in their official capacity as judges for
the record. “We had all the formulas in front of us, so I had to put my algebra
hat back on … to make sure it was right to scale,” Beach said. Schlickenmeyer
noted that customers often ask if the bottle is filled with real oil and in
fact, it is. ““[Customers] keep asking me, ‘does that really have oil in it? Is
it a real bottle?’ and I say, ‘yes, it’s brand new oil.’ We use it in the
customers’ cars when they come through here,’” he said. With more than 200
gallons of oil inside, who knows how long this could last………..
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