- The Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium is clearly home to one very badass sea lion. Seahawk, a 3-year-old male sea lion, had been moved out of the main exhibit area at the zoo because one of the female sea lions is expecting a pup. Seahawk was moved to an enclosure near the exhibit area but he quickly proved that his temporary new home couldn’t contain him. According to the zoo, Seahawk's temporary enclosure is an area near the zoo's sand tiger shark area. He managed to escape by jumping onto a high keeper escape wall, but that was only the beginning of his escape. Once out of his enclosure, Seahawk then fell into the keeper escape area, hitting a door handle on the way down, which popped the door open. That fall placed Seahawk in a place you’d think a sea lion wouldn’t want to be: in the tank with the sand tiger sharks. One sea lion versus a lot of sharks? How about advantage sea lion on that one? “It was definitely something we were not expecting," said zoo president Dr. Barbara Baker. "Everyone's first reaction to the radio call was, 'What did they say?'” What the sharks “said” was that they wanted no piece of my boy Seahawk. "The sand tiger sharks had no interest in Hawk at all. They moved to the other side of their pool. None of the animals was hurt or injured,” Baker said. You read that right, the sharks moved to the other side of the pool to get away from Seahawk, who is clearly a bad mo-fo. Baker stated that zoo staff were actually concerned that the sharks would be the ones in danger. Once keepers realized what happened, they grabbed buckets of fish to lure Seahawk back to his pool. He obliged them and returned to his own enclosure, but only because he wanted to. I’m rooting for this guy and not only because he tangles with sharks and comes out victorious. See, Seahawk came to the zoo in 2006 after attempts to rehabilitate him to return to the wild failed. He can’t return to the wild and so the zoo is going to be his home from here on out. With that in mind, the handle on the door Seahawk used has been removed and the keeper wall raised to protect the tiger sharks, er, keep Seahawk in his enclosure. Hang tough, Seahawk, but I don’t think I need to even tell you that…….
- Nothing like a good orgy scandal to jump start interest in your rugby team. You probably have never heard of the Cronulla Sharks rugby team and if somewhere in the neighborhood of 11 members of the team weren’t reprehensible perverts, you like never would have. The Sharks are an Australian squad based just outside of Sydney, but these guys would be freaks no matter where they leave. A woman identified only as “Clare” claims one night way back in 2002, six players from the team had sex with her while five watched. Not sure why this matter is just now coming to light, but based on the reaction of the Shark players, the allegations have at least some truth in them. Ten of the players fingered for their involvement in the alleged freakery were running for cover this, leaving Matthew Johns to face the shameful episode alone. The only comments the players have made are denials that they were in the hotel room despite "Clare" claiming otherwise. Others among the accused are claiming to have foggy memories about who was in the room and who wasn’t, despite a plea from Cronulla chairman Barry Pierce yesterday for those responsible to admit their part. “Matthew Johns has been man enough to apologize for his actions and so too should all involved. I look back now appreciating that more should have been done on our part,” Pierce said. Well thanks for getting around to expressing contrition for your lack of effort nearly a decade after the fact, Barr. The problem is that you still have guys like Cronulla legend and then captain David Peachey denying any involvement or knowledge of the incident. "I couldn't tell you who was in the room," Peachey said. So far, only Johns and former Sharks halfback Brett Firman have been identified as having sex with the woman known as "Clare". Present captain Paul Gallen has admitted walking into the room after the session was over. The incident has led sports officials in Australia to call for a change in the male domination of sport and to demand that more women should be appointed to sporting boards. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd called on all sporting codes to foster greater respect for women and backed the sidelining of Johns. Personally, I knew and cared nothing about Australian rugby prior to this scandal and if not for it, I would never have written about it, so I think those associated with the sport need to consider how much attention their game is receiving as a result of this orgy before they start tearing down those who were involved in it…………
- It’s physically impossible for anyone to look quite as bad as W. and anyone from his administration when it comes to the issue of torture and abuse of prisoner rights, but House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is closing that gap quickly. She’s waffled so much on the issue of what and how much she knew about the use of "enhanced interrogation techniques" that I’m seriously questioning whether this woman has a split personality. Pelosi accused CIA officials Thursday of misleading her in 2002 about the use of such as waterboarding, which simulates drowning and has been described by critics as torture. She recycled an earlier claim that she was briefed on such techniques only once -- in September 2002 -- and that she was told at the time that the techniques were not being used. She did admit that the CIA officials who briefed her had admitted to seeking approval for the use of such tactics, but my girl N. Pelosi apparently is so dense or naïve that she couldn’t put two and two together to figure out that the only reason the CIA would ask about the legality and permissibility of using torture tactics was because they planned to….USE THEM! This issue is coming up because the Obama administration recently released the so-called torture memos from the W. administration and one of those Justice Department memos says that the CIA used waterboarding at least 83 times in August 2002 in the interrogation of Abu Zubaydah, a suspected al Qaeda leader imprisoned at U.S. facilities in Guantanamo Bay. If you believe Pelosi, when she met with CIA officials just a month later, she was told only that the Justice Department had concluded that such techniques were legal, not that they were being used. One former senior intelligence official was asked about Pelosi’s claims on Thursday and said that it is "inconceivable" that the CIA briefers would not have talked about interrogation methods that had already been used. “I can't prove it," the official said. “The whole point [of the briefings] was to make sure they [lawmakers] understood what we were doing.” Of course, Nancy Pelosi would counter that the briefing she received from the CIA was incomplete and inaccurate. She did she call on the CIA to release a full transcript of it, which seems like a hollow ploy because she knows that won't happen. Following the briefing - whatever happened there - Pelosi claimed that in February 2003, a member of her staff told her that the Republican chairman and the new Democratic ranking member of the Intelligence Committee had been briefed on the use of enhanced interrogation techniques. After those briefings, Pelosi said that the Democratic ranking member of the committee sent a letter of protest, but "no letter could change [the W. administration's] policy.” All of these comments might hold more water if Pelosi hadn’t started out by telling reporters that she was not told waterboarding or any other enhanced interrogation methods were being used and then had to double back after reports came out claiming she was told by her aide about waterboarding in February. Asked why she didn't mention that before, Pelosi said, "I told you what our briefing was. When my assistant told me that the committee had been briefed -- now, I'm not on that committee any more. I'm now out of it.” Yes, you are certainly out of it. You’re out of touch with the truth, with the facts and with reality. This is coming from someone who is more on your side in the torture debate than I am on the W. side, but Nancy Pelosi, you’re not helping your cause, you’re hurting it and you should be publicly waffling on what you know or didn’t know, man……..
- Thank God, our long national nightmare is over. Lindsay Lohan has found a job just one month after blamed the paparazzi for her lack of work. Lohan has joined the independent film The Other Side. She will play a grad student working at a scientific institute on a remote island when she befriends a group of eccentric locals harboring a dark secret. Sounds like a real winner to me, as long as by winner you mean unequivocal train wreck. What I can’t get over is Lohan pushing blame for her sagging career on the paparazzi. Right, because you’re constant boozing, partying, DUIs and unpredictability have nothing to do with it. Maybe if studios and producers felt they could count on you to stay on set and out of jail, they’d give you more of a shot. Then, you wouldn’t be grabbing the first offer that comes along and find yourself starring in a movie alongside loser musicians like Dave Matthews, and Alanis Morissette in what’s being called “a fantasy-comedy.” When Lohan made I Know Who Killed Me back in 2007, I thought it would be tough for her to make a worse movie. But I never should have doubted Ms. Lohan, because this movie could be worse - much worse. Just a thought, but the producers on this movie should strongly consider hiring a driver for Lohan so she doesn’t add to those dual DUI arrests already on her record. You may ask yourself what Lohan has been doing since those two DUIs and the answer to that isn’t going to make her look any better. She shot the film Labor Pains last year, but it's been demoted to a small-screen debut on ABC Family in July. Yes, a movie so bad that it is going straight to TV is her most recent example of her work. Production on The Other Side begins in October at an island off the coast of Massachusetts. Expect the film to be crap-tacularly bad and for whatever insurance company is dumb enough to insure Lohan by the time production starts to seriously regret its decision……
- I’ve watched four years of Prison Break and I have been rightfully pissed that Fox has canceled the show, effective at the end of Season 4. That being said, I cannot tell you how absolutely furious I was by the way the show’s final episode (and the series) ended. I’m almost livid enough to skip recapping it and just tell you how awful the ending was, but allow me a moment to compose myself and I’ll try to trudge through the recap before ripping into the uber-terrible closing moments. The two hours began with Michael having to decide between giving Scylla back to General Krantz to save Sara or to his mother to save his big brother Linc. Michael can’t bring himself to save either at the expense of the other, so he and Alex Mahone, the one non-hospitalized, non-captured member of his group, hunker down in the kitchen of a building near a Miami pier and decide what to do next. Both Christina Scofield and Krantz aren’t patient about wanting Scylla, so Michael must think quick. Mahone is pressuring him to come up with another genius plan, but Michael claims not to have one yet. His first try is to give Scylla back to his mother in exchange for Linc, or at least make it appear that’s what he’s going to do. Because Linc is wounded and in need of medical help lest his lung collapse and he die, Michael goes that route. He rigs up some homemade explosives and arranges a meeting with Christina at a nearby pier. When both show up for the meeting, Michael tries to get his mother to step on a trip wire for the explosives he’s made, but she demands that he bring Scylla to her and won't come a step farther. The meeting comes to an abrupt halt when a worker at the pier recognizes Michael from the news and calls the police, who come bum rushing the pier via boat. That causes both Michael (accompanied by Mahone) and Christina (accompanied by her man Downey and another operative) to flee. However, Christina’s operative tries to make one last move on Michael and steps on the trip wire, triggering the explosion and killing him. Everyone else escapes and goes back to their respective home bases. Christina also takes the chance to berate Linc, telling him that he’s not really her son and how stupid he is. She’s also being pressured by Indian Prime Minister Nadu Banerjee, who is the buyer for Scylla. Christina also gets a call from Michael, who demands to talk to Linc. Christina obliges and in the ensuing conversation, Michael finally learns that Sara is pregnant, courtesy of Linc, who heard it from Christina. Back in his home base near the pier, Michael next has to deal with the General, who is no more patient than Christina. He wants Scylla back or he’ll kill Sara within the hour. In the meantime, she’s being watched and constantly harassed by the despicable T-Bag, who makes no secret of his intentions to force her to have sex with him. While those two are left alone at the General’s loft/condo, the General himself goes with some of his men to the location he gave Michael for the exchange of Scylla. Of course, he promised to bring Sara and trade her for Scylla, but Krantz has no intention of making the trade. Michael knows this too, so he sets Krantz up by leaving the case that holds Scylla (empty inside) at the exchange point and going to the condo while the General is gone. He goes Spiderman, scaling the wall of the building and climbs onto a top-floor balcony. Just as T-Bag is really pressing Sara and about to get freaky, she breaks a door handle free and tries to hit him with it. He dodges the swipe and knocks her to the ground, but Michael comes up from behind and cracks T-Bag over the head with the same door handle. He and Sara escape, then head back to the building at the pier. Meanwhile, Mahone is executing the second part of their plan. He calls Christina and tells her that he has Scylla, having parted ways with Michael. Mahone wants to trade the item for the assurance that his wife Pam, who is being watched by Company men at the General’s orders, is safe. He also wants Linc in the exchange and both terms are acceptable to Christina. When Mahone shows up at the office building where Christina is located, she meets him out front with Downey and another man. First, they verify that he does indeed have Scylla. Mahone then asks for proof that his wife is safe, but all Christina offers is a claim that a mole inside the Company has identified the operative bird-dogging her and that the operative will be taken care of. That doesn’t sit well with Mahone, but Christina says it would be foolish to give him everything he wants before she had what she wants from the deal. After turning Scylla over, Mahone goes inside and up to the top floor of the building with Christina. There, he’s forced to wait inside a small room off to the side with Linc. When Linc asks what he’s doing there, Mahone tells him that he’s saving his life. As it turns out, Mahone doesn’t actually have Scylla either - not all of it. Michael removed the guts from the hard drive and put explosives inside instead before giving it to Mahone. The idea was to have it explode - triggered by an internal timer - and take out Christina, allowing Mahone and Linc to escape. Unfortunately, Christina and Downey work so quickly that they try to access the hard drive before Michael anticipated and the explosion doesn’t go off in time. In fact, it doesn’t go off at all and Christina yanks Mahone out of the room he’s in to figure out what’s going on. Before that happens, Mahone receives a call from Michael to ask what’s going on. Miami isn’t the only place things are going on, either. In Chicago, two old friends of Michael are having an unexpected meeting. Sucre and C-Note, two of the Fox River 8, have met up because C-Note is on a mission. He was out of prison on his deal with the government to testify against Mahone for his dealing with the Company, but with Mahone now disappeared, the government wants to yank C-Note’s deal and pull him from witness protection. He claims to have found a powerful ally who wants to help him and will do so if he finds Michael and Linc, gets Scylla and turns it over to the United Nations. Sucre is hesitant to accept what C-Note is telling him, but the idea of having his record wiped clean and being able to live life without looking over his shoulder is appealing. He follows C-Note out onto the street and is pointed in the direction of a waiting car, where he will be able to talk to this mysterious benefactor - Paul. Paul turns out to be Paul Kellerman, the former Company operative who turned rat by testifying on behalf of Sara at her trial and was supposedly gunned down by the Company while being transported in police custody. He, C-Note and Sucre make their way to Miami (I suppose on a waiting private jet, because they got there awfully quick) and make a call to Sara’s phone because that’s their only lead. The call is answered by T-Bag, who still has Sara’s phone. He talks to C-Note and sets up a meeting in one hour at a nearby park. T-Bag’s plan is to use C-Note’s partnership with Kellerman to reacquire Scylla from Michael, but he is outsmarted by his two former Fox River pals in their meeting at the park. With one of the General’s men nearby to watch his back, T-Bag thinks he’s in control. Sucre meets him and asks for helping finding Linc and Michael, but T-Bag tells Sucre that he needs to cooperate with the General’s agenda. When he turns to point to the Company operative with him on the bench a few feet away, T-Bag sees that the man is slumped in his seat, either dead of unconscious. C-Note appears from behind T-Bag with a gun and together with Sucre, he takes T-Bag into custody. They return to a hotel room/apartment that Kellerman has set up for them and begin torturing T-Bag to find out what he knows. Moments later, C-Note calls Kellerman and reports that he’s recovered Sara’s phone from T-Bag and passes along the one number that has been dialed most from the phone, which must be Michael’s. Kellerman calls Michael, explains the plan to turn Scylla over to the U.N. and tells him that a U.N. representative will be in Miami at 5:00 p.m. to make the exchange. He also says that he was freed by and is now working for the group trying to bring down the Company, the one founded by Michael’s father. Go through with this plan and everyone - Michael, Sara, Linc, Sucre, C-Note, Mahone and Don Self - will receive immunity. Michael isn’t sold on the plan but is willing to at least think about it. Michael hangs up and Sara tells him that Linc’s condition is worsening and he’s out of time. The four of them - Michael, Linc, Sara and Mahone - drive to the nearest hospital, Miami Mercy, to steal some supplies. Sarah and Mahone go inside, where Mahone steals a lab coat for her and distracts the head nurse long enough for Sara to sneak into the supply room and get what she needs. However, this proves to be a bit of a trap for Mahone. Also in the hospital, and on the same floor, is Don Self. After jumping from the balcony of the General’s loft last week and washing up on the beach in bad shape, someone called 911 and he was taken to the hospital. Before he can go into surgery, two FBI agents come to question him about Michael and Linc’s whereabouts. The agents claim that because he’s impeding a federal investigation, he has no rights to protection. They begin to torture him, but Self finally agrees to help them if they guarantee immunity. The attorney general grants the request and an agreement is put in place. Self calls Michael in an attempt to find out his whereabouts, but a suspicious Michael won't give up his location and hangs up before the agents can trace the call. Michael refuses to answer subsequent calls from Self, but the process is interrupted when a man claiming to be Self’s doctor enters the room. He administers a dose of something from a syringe, but when the camera pans up, it’s Downey. He and Christina have learned of Self’s immunity agreement and feel he could be a problem, so Downey drugs him with something that drastically speeds up Self’s heart, causing some sort of heart attack or stroke. Yet the FBI agents refuse to allow him to be taken into surgery because Self can still move his fingers and write, meaning he can still tell them how to find Michael. They also sift through Self’s file and find out about the operation he was involved with in L.A. to recover Scylla. This links him to Michael, Linc and even Mahone. When Mahone shows up at the hospital and the agents see him, they arrest him on the spot. Sarah gets out, but when she makes it back to the SUV and tells Michael what happened inside, there is indecision about whether to flee or go back for Mahone. That becomes a moot point when Krantz’s men show up at the hospital, having gotten a ping off Linc’s cell phone and tracked it there. One of the men breaks the passenger side window and the other, Ralph, points a gun at Michael in the driver’s seat. Left with no other choice, Michael and Co. surrender and are taken back to the General’s pad. Michael tells him that they don’t have Scylla with them, which is technically true. Krantz shows Michael and Linc a lived feed from Panama showing Linc’s girlfriend Sofia being held captive. Unless he gets Scylla, she dies. At the same time, Mahone is being interrogated by the FBI. The same agents who questioned Self press Mahone for the brothers’ location and he tells them that they have done nothing wrong. It’s the Company the FBI needs to be after, but the agents won’t listen. When Mahone refuses to talk, he’s shoved aside. Back at the General’s pad, C-Note and Sucre storm the castle to rescue their friends, having finally learned the General’s location from T-Bag. Several Company operatives go down in the firefight and the General is left with every gun pointed at him and no friendly faces left standing. Michael demands that Sofia be released, so Krantz makes a call and has her let go. With the perfect chance to kill the man who has caused him so much grief, Michael is about to pull the trigger when Sarah and Sucre talk him out of it. Instead, they handcuff Krantz to the stairwell and flee. Their escape is short-lived, as police cars come barreling down the street right behind them. Sucre decides to fall on a grenade for the team and uses his car to block to cops. Michael drives off in the SUV with the rest of the group, but Sucre is arrested and soon finds himself being questioned by the FBI, just like Mahone. And just like Mahone, Sucre won't tell the agents anything. He too goes into custody, but does so knowing his friends got away. They return to the shipping yard, where they face another challenge in the form of Christina and her men. They’ve tracked Michael via his cell phone and come storming into the room where Michael has been working, creating his homemade explosives and hatching plans with Mahone. Michael, Sara, C-Note and Mahone hide before Christina and her men enter, but she isn’t really after them. She wants the guts of Scylla and finds them hidden in one of the kitchen drawers. She turns to leave and Michael leaps up from behind a counter, pointing a gun and demanding that she drop her gun and Scylla. When Christina tries to play mind games, Michael will have none of it. He is fully prepared to shoot his own mother, even if she doesn’t think he can pull the trigger. When Michael finally does, his gun jams and Christina is about to shoot him - but Sara has snuck around behind her and blasts Christina right in the back with her gun. Christina does manage to shoot Michael in the shoulder as she goes down, but she ends up dead and he’s still living. From there, Michael knows it’s up to him to get Scylla to Kellerman and his U.N. contact while Sara takes Linc to the hospital. If Michael gets the job done, Linc won't have to go to jail and his life will be saved, so it’s a win-win. As he nears the exchange point given by Kellerman, Michael is met and surrounded by men in suits. They accompany him inside the nearby high-rise office building and Kellerman joins them in a large conference room. He explains that he was just making sure that Michael wasn’t being followed, then introduces Solomon Okella, the contact from the U.N. Okella asks to see Scylla and plus it in to his laptop to make sure it’s working. When he can’t read the drive, Okella knows something isn’t right. Michael admits that he tinkered with Scylla because he wasn’t sure that he could really trust Kellerman or that Okella was really with the U.N. Kellerman reassures him that everything is legit and Michael admits he just wants to stop running. He fishes the missing piece out of his pocket, completes Scylla and Okella is able to access all of the files on the drive. He leaves the room to make the necessary calls and the next thing we see is everyone - Michael, Linc, Sara, Sucre, C-Note, Mahone - in the conference room, signing their immunity deals. Meanwhile, Krantz is being arrested at his pad, a fitting ending for a truly despicable man. The immunity agreement are signed, hugs are exchanged and everyone goes free. Kellerman informs them that their loved ones have been found and are safe, but there is one final piece of business to discuss. T-Bag has been arrested and wants in on their immunity deal, but his fate is up to them. The group discusses it and Michael and Linc walk out to tell T-Bag of his fate. He very disingenuously asks them to forgive him and let bygones be bygones because there’s “too much hate” in the world. He even quotes Ephesians 4:32, but Linc cuts him off. He says that the group voted and that T-Bag is fortunate. As T-Bag begins to thank him, Linc informs him that what the group voted on was whether to give him a piece of gum to chew on his way back to prison. A raging T-Bag screams at the brothers as they walk away, but his fate is sealed. Later on, Michael and Sara stroll on the beach and talk about becoming parents and the life they’ll live together. A bad omen comes when Michael gets a nose bleed, the very symptom that signaled his medical condition that threatened his life last season and which an operation by the Company was supposed to cure, lest it cause a massive brain aneurysm and kill him. Sara wipes away the blood and all is well. At this point, the show flashes forward in time four years and this is where things start to absolutely BLOW. Mahone is in parts unknown, mailing a birthday card to Pam and then walking off hand-in-hand with former FBI partner Felicia Lang, who is now his lady friend. C-Note is a free man, working for UPS, enjoying his freedom and living a normal life. Sucre is in Chicago with his family, telling his daughter he is going on a trip but will be back in two days. Linc and Sofia are living together in Central America, with Linc’s son LJ in college back in the U.S. Self is a vegetable, living in some sort of facility for invalids. T-Bag is fittingly back in Fox River, where he is once again leading own own little prison gang. Sarah is then shown in Panama, strolling through a public square with her son, now about four years old. They skip off across the plaza and make their way to a local beach, where they meet with up Linc, Sucre and Mahone. Together, the group walks toward the beach and to…..A FREAKING CEMETERY. Yes, you guessed it, Michael is dead. They are gathered to visit his grave, which is about the worst freaking ending possible - EVER. They place a flower on the grave, say a few words and walk off toward the beach, and that’s how it ends. So Michael goes through all of this crap - going to prison for his brother, concocting and executing a brilliant escape plan, fleeing across the country to recover D.B. Cooper’s money, fleeing the country to Panama, going to prison at SONA and staging a second brilliant escape, coming back to the U.S. and chasing, then recovering Scylla, finally getting immunity and his life back - and then he dies? That SUCKS. Again, just an awful ending. I didn’t need a totally sappy, sugary sweet ending, but Michael not dying was a must. Just an awful, awful and depressing ending. It taints the entire series, really. It’s enough to make me glad that the show was canceled, lest it go on another season and I invest more time in it, only to end this way. What a load of crap……
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