- Be advised that this next story is graphic and very revolting in nature. If freak watching is your sort of hobby, you may remember Dr. John Hall, a dentist in N.C. who was stripped of his license in 2005 for the appalling things he did to his female patients. To make a disgusting, nasty story as brief as possible, in May 2005 Hall pleaded guilty to using syringes and squirting his semen into the mouths of some of his female patients. He refused to answer any questions following his plea hearing, but the North Carolina Dental Board made it clear that he wasn’t welcome to practice dentistry in their state. “I said, 'My God, that smelled like semen,'" one victim said during the trial. Since his conviction, Hall has been living in Jacksonville, Fla., and at last report he was in the tile business. He was someone else’s problem until this past week, when he applied for reinstatement to the same North Carolina Dental Board that pulled his license. Gee, wonder why they would do a thing like that. You can see Hall’s twisted mind working here, rationalizing and selling himself on the fact that he has never admitted any wrongdoing and denied the allegations when he testified before the board in August 2004. Perhaps living in some dinky apartment in north Florida rather than in the posh $2 million house he owned in Cornelius when he was running a lucrative cosmetic dental practice. This process has brought back some unpleasant memories for everyone. “He thinks he can jump right back in and practice somewhere else," one unidentified victim said. "It's like we owe it to him. He has this strange sense of entitlement.” If you’re reading this, Dr. John Hall, allow me to make something infinitely clear to you, you sick freak. No one cares that you took what's known in legal circles as an Alford plea, a move that enables you to plead guilty to a criminal charge without admitting wrongdoing. You are a devious, perverted and sick f**k who should never be allowed to practice dentistry ever again, no even if someone’s life depends on it and you are the only dentist within a thousand miles…….
- What better to inject some more romantic chaos in Greek than a wedding? No, there were no spontaneous nuptials for any of the show’s principal characters. The wedding was for (not making this name up) Kiki Phillbrick, a former Zeta Beta Zeta sister coming back to Cyprus Rhodes for her wedding. The big day is at the center of all the drama, largely for Rusty. With Kappa Tau pledge and Rusty’s KT little brother Andy out of town with the football team, Andy’s new girlfriend Jordan (who Rusty also has a crush on) turns to Rusty to be her date for the wedding, which all ZBZ sisters and pledges are all but ordered to attend. Rusty tries to get out of going to the wedding, not wanting to get into any trouble because of his lingering feelings for Jordan. She is able to talk him into going to the wedding, which then turns into helping her pick up flowers for the ceremony when Jordan is assigned that task by the bossy bride. Bad news is waiting at the florist; the dippy guy working there wrote down the wrong date for the pickup and doesn’t have the flowers. Rusty suggests trying the other florist in town, but the old woman who works there has an even more sad selection and says that what she does have is reserved for a bar mitzvah. Seeing their last shot at flowers (and avoiding the wrath of Kiki when she finds out there are no flowers for her wedding), Jordan decides to pretend that it’s she and Rusty who need the flowers for their own wedding. A few loving looks and cheesy catch phrases from posters hung on the wall of the flower shop later, they get their flowers and are in the car headed home - or trying to head home. At first it seems that the emotions they were supposed to be faking to pose as an engaged couple might be real and thus have both flustered, but it turns out that the blotchy skin and trouble breathing are because both are allergic to the pink hydrangeas that they’ve just picked up. Those matching allergic reactions land them in the hospital, where both get some medicine and treatment and share a tender hand-holding moment while Jordan is getting a shot and talking about her fear of needles….and iguanas, both of which are fears Rusty shares. Back at Jordan’s dorm room, they say their goodbyes and plan to meet up in a couple of hours for the wedding. Just as Rusty is about to leave, Jordan gives him a little kiss on the cheek, then immediately apologizes. Rusty tells her not to worry and returns the gesture, but that leads to a near-kiss between the two before both push the eject button. Rusty’s big sister Casey also seems like she might want to push the eject button on her day for several reasons. First, Kiki’s wedding means having to deal with ex-ZBZ president Frannie, who was Kiki’s ZBZ little sister. Kiki doesn’t know about Frannie’s departure from the sorority to start her own, but nevertheless vows that nothing will ruin her big day. If dealing with Frannie isn’t enough, Casey also is hit with the revelation that her boyfriend Max turned down a graduate assistant position at Cal Tech to stay at CRU with her. Max finally tells her after months of keeping it from her and the revelation rattles Casey. At Kiki’s bachelorette party, everyone else in the group tells her it’s the most romantic thing they’ve ever heard of. Of course, that comes at the tail end of a drunken scavenger hunt, but it’s enough to send Casey right to Max’s room to hook up with him because she’s so overwhelmed with emotion. That emotion takes another turn the next day when Max comes to the ZBZ house just as Casey is preparing to leave for the wedding. Max drops down on one knee and appears to be ready to pop the question….but is actually just wanting to lavaliere (pin) her. However, the thought of Max proposing jars Casey and makes her realize that they are not on the same page in their relationship. That idea haunts her throughout the wedding, but not any more than the events of the bachelorette party haunt Rebecca Logan. When one of the scavenger hunt items calls for the bride-to-be to kiss another girl and Kiki refuses, Rebecca plants one on Robyn Wiley, a ZBZ alum in town for the big day. The kiss turns out to be longer than expected and may have actually involved tongue at some point. It gets Rebecca wondering which team she wants to play for, if you get my drift. She even goes so far as to have her ex Cappie kiss her to see how she feels about being kissed by a guy versus kissing a girl. Cappie obliges, but he has another goal in mind: getting invited to the wedding so he can hit on Robyn. He doesn’t know that she’s gay, nor does Rebecca. Cappie is on a mission from the moment he spots Robyn sitting in a café on the street while leading the new KT pledges through their “How to make it back to Kappa Tau if you’re drunk” tour, which was hilarious by the way. Cappie goes off to hit on Robyn and leaves directionally challenged Beaver to lead the pledges the rest of the way. Beaver ends up needing help from Rusty on which way to turn on the actual street the KT house is on, but all ends well for the pledges on their trip. Over at the ZBZ house, Kiki continues to make life miserable for everyone - Ashleigh and Rebecca are force to wheel around her luggage - but the challenges are overcome and the wedding goes off without a hitch. The reception turns out to be the place for the dramatics, as Rebecca has to dodge Ashleigh’s nonstop attempts to find her a “slump buster” to help her break out of her current romantic slump. Ashleigh is also the one to inadvertently clue Rebecca into the fact that Robyn is a lesbian. Cappie still has no idea and asks her to dance, only to find his advances at the end of the night shot down. Robyn does give Rebecca her number and tells her to call because she’s staying in town for a couple of weeks before heading home. Casey and Rusty decide to take a break from the excitement of the reception by hiding away in a corner of the reception hall near the kitchen. Casey is driven there after a tough talk with Max in which she admits to being really scared by the huge gesture he’s made in turning down the Cal Tech offer just to be with her. Rusty is there because he knows he can’t do anything with Jordan because she’s dating Andy and figures that sitting off in a corner is a good way to avoid trouble. Casey reminds him that he can’t hook up with Jordan and even though Rusty agrees, there is still tension between he and Jordan when they talk later on in the evening. Rusty tries to set the ground rules for them being just good friends, but after sharing a slow dance together they kiss and Jordan runs off, upset at what she’s just done. Casey and Max seem to find a better ending for their night, with Casey explaining how she feels and telling Max that he needs to slow down and let her catch up in their relationship. He has no problems with that idea and Casey is satisfied enough to finally allow Max to lavaliere her. So their evening ends on a happy note, which is always nice. Casey also has a surprisingly decent moment with fellow bridesmaid Frannie, who reveals her breakup with Evan Chambers. Not the most laugh-filled episode of Greek, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a really good episode……..
- Score one for the bicyclists in Colorado. Rarely do non-motorists get much help on the road - as a runner, I know that all too well - when it comes to idiot drivers hassling them and putting their safety in danger. Losers - usually guys between the ages of 16-35 in my experience - in cars, trucks and SUVs think it’s fun to buzz runners or bicyclists, to throw things at them, scream at them, swerve at them, etc. Right, because hassling a total stranger simply for having the audacity to get out on the road and get the very exercise that your fat, lazy ass probably needs is a solid play. So I’m thrilled to hear that bicyclists in Colorado may get some extra safety space on the road. Senate Bill 148 specifies that a driver must allow at least 3 feet of clearance when passing a bicyclist, with violators facing a class A traffic infraction. Also, the bill clarifies when bicyclists can ride two by two instead of single file and makes it illegal for a driver to throw objects at a bicyclist or drive toward one dangerously. Having had both of those things happen to me as a runner, I have to say it’s awesome to know that the a-holes who engage in such behavior might finally be punished for their actions. Senate Bill 148 was passed by both the state House and state Senate, it is now waiting for Gov. Bill Ritter to sign it into law. Oh, and zero props to the imbecilic County Sheriffs of Colorado, who fought the bill, saying it could make the roads less safe. Less safe? For who, you tools? One of the most outspoken opponents, Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden, said in February that the law would be “basically impossible” to enforce. If all cops are as lazy and inept as the ones I’ve come across, that may be true, but it’s your problem and not anyone else’s. Step your game up, quit b*tching about laws that will actually do some good and just go away if you don’t have anything better to say…….
- Boy, this is Stoner 101: Your bong is your best friend. Make sure you know where it is at all times and do whatever is necessary to make sure of its safety. Stoner Clinton J. Gordon of Fort Pierce, Fla., you are a shame to all stoners. How in the world do you not think to leave your bong at home when you go down to the local courthouse? I realize that at any given time, a stoner may be too baked to really think about the fact that he or she is about to tote their bong to a place that it shouldn’t go, but isn’t that what your stoner buddies are for? Pot heads need to look out for one another, lest they end up in the position that Gordon found himself in Wednesday. Upon showing up at the St. Lucie County courthouse, Gordon joined all other visitors to the building in passing through security. At this point, there isn’t a courthouse in America where you won't pass through security before entering, so Gordon should have known what was coming. Either he didn’t know, didn’t care or was baked out of his mind, because when he emptied his pockets to pass through a security checkpoint, a security officer quickly noticed the bong he had placed in the little plastic tray that houses your belongings while you pass through the metal detector. “As the items were checked (the security officer) determined that one item was a marijuana smoking pipe,” an arrest report states. As a quick aside, am I the only one who still gets a hearty laugh out of police reports or other official documents wherein bongs are referred to by a technical, wordy name? It’s a freaking bong, people. Just write bong, because we all know what you mean and you’re the only ones calling it “a marijuana smoking pipe.” But I digress….a deputy checked out the bong and concluded that, indeed, it was a bong by the smell and residue. Gordon now faces a misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia charge in connection with the incident. I don’t know how this case will unfold, but if I were the judge I would demand that as part of his sentence, Gordon attend Stoner 101 so he can learn the valuable lesson of protecting his bong at all times…..
- Guess Kelis’ milkshake doesn’t just bring all the boys to the yard, it can apparently drive them away as well. You may remember Kelis as the “singer” of the absurd, lyrically stunted, over-produced, musically abysmal "Milkshake" song of a few years ago. To call her a one-hit wonder would be wrong, given the fact that her song was better caterogized as not a hit, but rather as a miss that happened to hit that special mark on the awful scale that attracts all the musically clueless people in this country. You may also remember that Kelis married rapper Nas in 2005 after the two met at a 2002 MTV Video Music Awards after-party. Clearly the marriage didn’t work out, because despite the fact that Kelis is seven months pregnant with rapper Nas's son, he has filed for divorce from her. “We request the media to respect her privacy during this very difficult time,” a rep for Kelis says. Oh, and for future reference, Kelis needs to start going with both a first and last name, because she’s not nearly talented or famous enough to rock just the one name. No concerns on the respecting of her privacy though; the sh*t she calls music isn’t enough to make her more than an E-list celebrity and to be quite honest, no one gives a damn about her personal life…….
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