- When I hear that a performance-enhancing drug-using, lying, cheating slugger is fourth in the National League All-Star balloting for outfielders, several thoughts cross my mind. First, I wonder whether the 442,763 (and counting) fans who have voted for Manny Ramirez are doing so because they are actually die-hard ManRam or L.A. Dodgers fans and are too blinded by their love affair to realize that Manny is a PED-using fraud or if they are voting for him ironically, reveling in the possibility of seeing the game’s most famous active cheater take the field in the All-Star Game. Secondly, I wonder if cheating has become so ubiquitous and such an accepted part of the game that fans aren’t even fazed by revelations that a player is ‘roiding up. Lastly, I wonder what commissioner Bud Selig must be thinking, knowing that a guy he dropped a 50-game ban on for using a PED could be in the outfield to start the All-Star Game the same week he’s eligible to come off the suspended list. I can't decide if I love the idea of ManRam in the ASG or if I really, really love it. Don’t get me wrong; anyone who cheats and uses ‘roids or any sort of PED is a certified piece of crap. That being said, I think it would be flat-out awesome in the most ridiculous, absurd sense of the word to see a guy who will have played less than half of the games for his team, was suspended for being a drug-using cheater (women’s fertility drugs, no less) and achieved his numbers thanks in large part to those PEDs start the All-Star Game. What would it say about the fans who vote for the game? As I said at the top, it would say that either a) they have an incredible grasp of irony and the absurd or b) are mindless sycophants with no morals or dignity who will support a player no matter how big a douche bag he is. Either way, it’s a triumph for the ridiculous and I for one could not be more excited about the prospect of women’s-fertility-drug-user ManRam starting in left field for the National League at the All-Star Game……
- Let’s just save some time and say which Mexican officials - at all levels of government - aren’t corrupt and in bed with the drug cartels currently running roughshod over their country. The latest incident involving corrupt Mexican politicos came over the weekend when more than two dozen Mexican public servants, including 10 mayors and several police chiefs, allegedly linked to illicit drugs and organized crime were arrested in simultaneous raids in Michoacan state. Because the sting to take down these allegedly corrupt officials was so secret, even the state’s governor was in the dark about the operation. Gov. Leonel Godoy said, that even he did not know about the raids until after they began. The arrested officials all have alleged ties to the Michoacan Family, a major drug cartel in Mexico. “This is an effort to take apart the protection nets that were operating in coordination with the Michoacan Family, an effort to recover the geographical spaces lost to the hands of organized crime,” said Ricardo Najera. The Michoacan Family is a particularly nasty group, having been blamed for some extremely violent, ruthless acts across Mexico in the past year, including the killings last September of seven people and the wounding of more than 100 others. The one major concern Godoy expressed about the sting was whether the legal rights of those arrested were observed. I can’t attest to that, but with that many arrests made in cities such as Morelia, Uruapan, Tepalcatepec, Apatzingán, Buenavista and several others, I’m guessing there is a solid to high chance that a right or two was violated at some point. In spite of that, the key numbers from the sting would be: those 10 mayors and police chiefs arrested, along with 17 current and former government officials, including five municipal presidents and two directors of municipal public security. So for all of my Mexican amigos y amigas out there, I’d advise you to be a little more patient than normal if you notice that your local municipality is operating even less efficiently than usual the next few days. After all, there’s an above-average chance that one or more of your local political leaders is now in the clink and it will take some time to find a new corrupt political leader, er, choose a new humble public servant to fill the opening…….
- It’s goats to the rescue for the state of Maryland. Faced with out-of-control plant growth along several highways around the state, the State Highway Administration dispatched 40 bearded goats to control plant growth. The goats were sent to one particularly overgrown area and have been munching in an enclosed area for a week; they will stay until September, but will be put back to work next spring. The goat brigade is part of Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley's "Smart, Green and Growing" legislative package, aimed at reducing the state's greenhouse gas emissions 25 percent by 2020. At this point, it’s a pilot program that will be evaluated after two years to determine if it has the potential for application on a larger scale. So aside from the benefits of being able to pay goats much cheaper wages (How long until the ACLU steps in on behalf of the goats and demands better food, longer lunch breaks and higher salaries?), the state will also reap environmental benefits including a reduction of the state's carbon footprint and protection of the area's bog turtles, listed as threatened. The financial rewards are obvious - saving $10,000 over two years always helps. So how did the state’s decision-makers settle on goats? Other animals were considered, but cows were ruled out because they are too heavy, and their hooves could stomp the small, colorful-shelled bog turtles, while sheep are notoriously stupid and also have a penchant for eat moving things, like the turtles. Maryland isn’t the first to embrace the grass-cutting power of goats, either. Earlier this year, officials in Hempstead, New York, bought goats to trim the grass for a 50-acre park and preserve. The goats -- Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Happy and Doc may be named after the Seven Dwarves in “Snow White,” but in the town of Hempstead, they are a giant help in cutting maintenance costs. The movite for implanting a goat mowing unit in Vail, Colorado was a little different. Residents wanted to find an alternative to pesticides and chemicals, so officials introduced 500 weed-eating goats in public areas. In nearby Denver, you’ll actually see signs announcing "Goats at Work" to alert passers-by to the animals' presence on vacant lots managed by the park system. Environmental organizations are hailing the use of goats in lawn maintenance projects as a huge step forward, but I do have to wonder who draws the short straw of cleaning up the goat droppings once the grass is mowed…….
- M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel had a lot of success with their music venture last year, forming She & Him and releasing Volume One. You just knew that success would inspire other musically-minded actors and actresses to team up with alt/indie rockers and put out their own albums. Singer-songwriter Pete Yorn and smokin’ hot Scarlett Johannson have become the latest to embrace the trend. Yorn was already on track for a busy 2009, releasing his fourth album Back and Fourth on June 23, but he's also scheduled to release a duets record with Johansson this fall. Entitled "Break Up," the nine song set is set for a September 8 release, with the lead single, "Relator," is available starting Tuesday via iTunes and streaming on the album's website. Johannson has actually ventured into music before, releasing her first album "Anywhere I Lay My Head" in 2008 with direction from TV on the Radio's David Sitek. It wasn’t exactly a revolutionary piece of musical pioneering - the album featured 10 Tom Waits covers along with one original - and reviews were mixed at best. To date, Nielson SoundScan reports that "Anywhere I Lay My Head" has sold 19,000 copies. Yorn was working on "Break Up" two years before "Anywhere I Lay My Head" was released and he said in a prepared statement that the concept for “Break Up” came to him after a bout with insomnia. “When I finally passed out, it came to me in a dream. I woke up and the whole thing was in my head, fully formed,” he explained. However, it wasn’t until he previewed the recordings for some of his friends and received a positive response that Yorn finally decided to release "Break Up." Fans of older rock will enjoy the fact that the album features a cover of Big Star's "I Am The Cosmos” alongside eight Yorn originals. In the meantime, Yorn is looking to drum up interest for Back and Fourth by touring as the opening act for Coldplay on its current U.S. tour. The tour wraps up on June 4 in Cincinnati, Ohio, but that will be far from the end of a busy, busy year for Yorn…..
- This is freaking rich. O.J. Simpson may have lost his battle against armed robbery and kidnapping charges, but clearly the Juice has not lost his sense of entitlement or his belief that he can get off for any crime, no matter how guilty he may be. After a jury convicted him on charges including armed robbery and kidnapping in October and Judge Jackie Glass hit him with a sentence of up to 33 years in prison, with eligibility for parole after nine years, the Juice and his legal team decided not to give up the fight. Five months later, the Juice’s attorneys appealed his conviction to the Nevada Supreme Court, claiming his trial was "fundamentally unfair." I suppose that when you’ve gone to trial after turning two people into human Pez dispensers and been acquitted, being on the wrong end of a guilty verdict for any charge at all might seem fundamentally unfair. To fight the perceived injustice, Simpson's attorneys filed 47-page brief Tuesday, accusing Clark County, Nevada, District Judge Jackie Glass of judicial misconduct, saying her behavior constituted "cumulative error that was so egregious and prejudicial that the defense could not get a fair trial.” Riiiiiiight. Among the charges by the Juice’s legal team are that Judge Glass interjected herself into the trial proceedings, issued improper jury instructions, improperly admitted hearsay evidence and refused to allow defense attorneys to fully cross-examine witnesses or ask prospective jurors about their "known and unknown" biases. They also played the race card by alleging that Judge Glass allowed the prosecution to strike the only two black jurors from the jury pool. Now I’m no attorney, but to the best of my knowledge, both the prosecution and defense are allowed a certain number of strikes for jurors, to remove those jurors from consideration for the case without a detailed explanation. What I find laughable is the portion of the filing that whines about the court giving “no deference to the fact that Simpson brought a lot of baggage into the courtroom.” Baggage? What baggage? Your client was acquitted of a brutal double homicide, that sounds like a positive to me and not a negative. Also, he’s a former NFL player and people love ex-jocks. Again, I understand that it has to be impossibly difficult for the Juice to come to grips with the notion of being convicted of a crime he committed, but it’s true. He set up a memorabilia-rescue mission with new pal Clarence "C.J." Stewart and four others to retrieve items that O.J. believed had belonged to him from dealers Bruce Fromong and Al Beardsley. He was among the six-man posse that busted into a room at the Palace Station Hotel Room and Casino in Las Vegas on September 13, 2007, brandishing weapons and going all A-Team on Fromong and Beardsley. I’ve heard the audio recordings from that night and the Juice’s voice is clearly heard shouting out threats, instructions and demands that no one is to leave the room until he gets what he wants. Now you might want there to be judicial misconduct during the trial and you might need that judicial misconduct to rectify your world view in which the Juice has a deal with the devil that allows him to commit any crime and get away with it, but that doesn’t make it so……….
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