- I don’t know many people for whom prom ends up being a highlight of life. When you’re in high school, it seems like a huge event, but one you get some distance from it in your life, you see just how ridiculous it is. Kids spend a lot of money on clothes they’ll only wear once, they go through the agony of finding a date and show up for what is invariably a lame and ridiculous theme punctuated by crappy music and terrible dancing. With all of that said, why not do something to have a little fun with your prom and make it a unique experience? That’s the approach Maranda Smith of Cumming, Ga. took in preparing for the West Forsyth High School Prom. In looking for just the right prom dress, Smith decided to do some web searching. She discovered the idea to create an entire dress out of the tabs on top of soda cans and thought the idea was something she could replicate. The project began more than a year in advance, as compiling enough pop can tabs to fashion an entire dress isn’t something you can do overnight (unless you’re Kate Moss, of course). Smith convinced her mother to buy more canned drinks and slowly the tops started adding up, but not quickly enough. It was then that Smith enlisted the help of r friends and even some teachers at West Forsyth High School. "All my friends, they are pretty much the ones that gave me the majority of the tabs," Smith told. "I had friends who would put them in Ziploc bags. I had friends who would mail me those Ziploc bags.” Once Smith accumulated about 3,000 tabs, she began constructing the dress. Her construction technique consisted of attaching two tabs back-to-back with the scratchy sides facing each other, then weaving them together with plush ribbon to create a row. She would then combine rows to begin building the dress, which oddly enough has no lining and no layering. Smith says that the one row covers everything and she just has to wear a slip underneath it. Thankfully, Smith finished the dress in time for prom and she got the chance to be the one girl at the prom who didn’t have to worry about some other chick showing up wearing the same thing (which I’m told is a big concern for girls). So while prom is still lame and very much overrated, props to Maranda Smith for doing something to improve it at least a little bit……
- You may recall that back in December, I lauded U.S. District Judge Paul A. Magnuson as a true American hero. Why? Because he helped keep my (and millions of other Americans’) dream of an 0-16 NFL season by the Detroit Lions alive. The Lions were 0-14 and about to play a game against the Minnesota Vikings. The problem was that the Vikings’ two mammoth defensive tackles Kevin Williams and Pat Williams, were facing a four-game suspension from the NFL over their positive test for a banned diuretic. Losing the Williamses would have dealt a massive blow to the Minnesota defense and given a much better chance for victory to the Lions, which was the last thing anyone needed. The Lions killed the same dream in 2001 and the Miami Dolphins did so in 2007, so having it happen a third time would have been catastrophic. Thankfully, Judge Magnuson was on the case - literally. He temporarily blocked the suspensions back in December because he needed more time to consider the case after hearing several hours of arguments from the league and the NFL Players Association. Well, Judge Magnuson has had time to consider the case and….he’s decided to throw out most of the Williamses' claims and dismiss a lawsuit brought by the NFL players union on behalf of the Williamses and three New Orleans Saints players also facing suspension. And you know what? I’m cool with all of this. Magnuson can throw out these claims and remand the case to state court if he wants, because the dream has already been realized. The Vikings had the Williamses on the field, they defeated the Lions and Detroit ran the table in reverse, 0-16 baby! I don’t have any particular affinity for Pat and Kevin Williams outside of their role in helping keep the 2008 Lions winless, so at this point it doesn’t matter if they’re suspended for four games, eight games or the rest of their lives. Whether the argument by their attorneys that league officials knew a supplement called StarCaps contained a banned diuretic back in 2006 and did not specifically notify players holds up in court now, I could not care less. So know that I bear no ill will toward you, Judge Magnuson. You played your part in making my dreams come true and I will never forget that…….
- So nearly every TV show worth watching has begun its summer hiatus, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t still some news in the world of television. Obviously, most of that news comes as the various networks have their “up fronts,” which are basically staged news conferences where a network rolls out its falls lineup, introduces new shows and tries to build interest for the coming season. From the past week of up fronts, the key pieces of news for the shows I follow and write about here are: 1) NBC is thankfully bringing back Chuck, although the actual announcement didn’t come until after the NBC up front. Unfortunately, Chuck’s return won't happen until after the Winter Olympics in 2010, 2) NBC has basically cut its season in half, with Heroes remaining on Monday nights but moving at 8 p.m. and ending in time to make way for Chuck to take over its time slot, post-Olympics, 3) The CW is once again moving Smallville, this time to Friday nights. I can’t even recall all the times the show has been moving during its first eight seasons, but I’ve learned to roll with the changes. There is speculation that Smallville’s ninth season could also be its last, which seems like a solid decision if that’s how it goes down, 4) Reaper is done on the CW, meaning Tuesday night’s episode will be the series’ last one after two seasons. That’s ironic because when the show first appeared, I HATED it and ripped it. Over time, I would watch it here and there and have actually enjoyed it for most of Season 2. it’s still not a great show, but it’s decent enough that I’ll be slightly sad to see it go. So those are the main points of the network up fronts as they relate to what you usually read here. There are scores of new shows on every network and as I obviously haven’t seen any of them yet, I don’t have much to say about them at this point. But fear not, as they begin to air and reveal how crap-tacularly bad they are, you can bet on me being there to rip them mercilessly……
- Who among us hasn’t dreamed of dropping a ginormous, Bunyan-esque fork outside our business at some point? Anyone who has ever dreamt of owning their own business has had that dream and probably even people who have never wanted to own a business have had it as well. Damien Watel of Stone Oak, Texas not only had that dream - he made it a reality. Watel erected an 18-foot-tall silver fork outside his business off Stone Oak Parkway after paying San Antonio artist Gilbert Duran more than $20,000 create the oversized utensil. Watel calls the oddly shaped sculpture “art”, I call it the realization of a lifelong dream, but idiots at the Stone Oak Homeowners Association call it an “eyesore.” There always has to be someone there looking to ruin a good thing, but that doesn’t mean the SOHA is anything but a bunch of no-vision-having ass clowns. No, the organization is demanding that Watel either take his giant silver fork down or cover it up. What makes me even sadder is that rather than face a fine and possible litigation, Watel is erecting a massive cinderblock wall to hide the statue from view. No! Don’t cave in, weakling. Tell the Stone Oak Homeowners Association to f**k off and if anything, you build a special platform for that giant silver fork to make it stand a few feet taller. Heck, jam a giant silver spoon, knife and salad fork into the ground and complete the set. Whatever you do, don’t back down. Yes, Watel is doing all of this to attract attention for the Ciel and Caio2 restaurants he owns, but his reasoning for putting up the ginormous fork doesn’t matter. Oh, and what exactly is the SOHA so pissed about? As you might guess, it has to do with the sort of bureaucratic bullsh*t that groups like homeowners associations thrive on, namely that Watel failed to file an application with the HOA for the construction of the sculpture. I agree with Watel’s line of thinking that since the large fork is art, he doesn’t need permission from the SOHA to build it. Bottom line here, Watel is correct and the SOHA is wrong when it contends that the fork is an advertisement for his business and therefore needed to be approved by the association ahead of time. Heck, Watel did eventually file an application with the SOHA and it was summarily rejected. He then filed an appeal, which was also rejected. There is nothing sadder in this country than self-important, pompous groups like the Stone Oak Homeowners Association thinking they can go around telling people what sort of structures and items they can put up on their own property. You can suck it, SOHA, and if it were up to me, Damien Watel would take that 18-foot silver fork, dust it off, turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass……..
- I’m torn on "Colin," a new zombie feature that is receiving rave reviews at the Cannes Film Festival. On one hand, industry “experts” are praising this movie like they’re being paid to do so, largely because of that fact that it cost a mere $70 to make. Director Marc Price put the film together on a shoestring budget and if you believe the hype, it could be the next big thing at your local multiplex. However, my minds hearkens back to another low-budget, “revolutionary” movie that was supposed to be an amazing watch: The Blair Witch Project. I don’t remember the exact totals on what the cost for that train wreck was, but I do know how much I would pay to destroy every piece of film from it, rewind time and make sure its filming never happened: every cent I possess or have ever possessed in my lifetime. Blair Witch was a horrific abortion of a movie, uber-annoying from start to finish, without any real drama or intrigue and not nearly as scary as it was made out to be. The one chick in the movie (whose name I am not inclined to look up) I would literally have reached through the screen to choke the life out of two scenes into the movie if that were possible - she was that annoying. So maybe it’s unfair to tie “Colin” to “Blair Witch” just because both are critically acclaimed and made on the cheap, but I can’t help it. Price is receiving intense interest from Japanese distributors for the rights to the film, along with interest from some major American distributors. “We were almost fainting at the list of people who were coming [to the final market screening of the film],” said Helen Grace of Left Films who is helping the film's publicize the film in Cannes. “Representatives from major American distributors -- some of the Hollywood studios.” Some of the details about how Price put his film together are pretty interesting, including the fact that he advertised for volunteer zombies on Facebook, borrowed make-up from major Hollywood blockbusters - including 'X-Men 3' - and taught himself how to produce special effects on the cheap. “The approach was to say to people, 'OK guys, we don't have any money, so bring your own equipment,'" the director stated. Although he had plenty of help from a ragtag band of friends and volunteers, Price shot and edited the feature mostly on his own over a period of 18 months while working nights part-time as a booker for a taxi company. He took a unique slant on a typically cheesy genre by telling the story entirely from the zombie's perspective. Out of that vision came a movie that Price calls a zombie film "with a heart.” Response to his vision has been very strong, so hopefully “Colin” is able to end any similarities to “Blair Witch” at hype and production value and actually be a decent movie whose stars I don’t want to reach through the screen and bludgeon to death……..
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