- If only it were this simple……Ohio State University is attempting to preemptively quell the looting, pillaging and rioting that will most definitely take place if the Buckeyes defeat archrival Michigan in Saturday’s blockbuster college football showdown. TV and radio spots airing this week urge fans to celebrate a potential victory “with class”, i.e without the rioting, burning of cars and couches and general mayhem that followed 2002’s big win over the Wolverines. To paraphrase Texas Tech basketball coach and noted philosophizer Robert Kennedy Knight, “If rioting and looting are inevitable, why not just sit back and enjoy them?” See, it’s a given that no matter how many cops you put on the streets and how many radio and TV spots you air, if the team wins, cars will be overturned and torched, couches will be set ablaze and thousands of underage kids will down massive quantities of alcohol. So go ahead, waste your money producing the ads and making announcements. I look forward to overhead helicopter footage of a burning Columbus at night, flames rising to the sky in celebration of a Buckeyes’ win.
- Speaking of Bob Knight………he’s on the hot seat nationally for popping one of his players, Michael Prince, on the chin to get his attention during a game. Like Rasheed Wallace and Ron Artest, Knight’s conduct is held to a different standard because of his history of violence and lack of self control, so this incident is more of a story than it would be with most any other coach. Having looked at the footage repeatedly, I think Knight was wrong for doing what he did, but it wasn’t an egregious error. I’d never send any member of my family, a friend or other person I cared about at all to play for a crackpot like Knight, but in this case, there’s not much to fuss about. He’s a time bomb for sure, a hothead and someone who needs to learn that getting pissed and acting violently isn't the answer, but this incident doesn’t even rank in the Top 5 on his all-time list of wrongs.
- Four more days for someone to kidnap Katie Holmes and help her avert the biggest mistake of her life. That, of course, would be marrying Scientology honk and noted psychopath Tom Cruise. Their wedding is set to take place in Italy on Saturday, and I for one am concerned for Katie’s well being. I know, she is already tied to Tom for life because they have a kid together, but that’s no reason to compound the mistake by legally binding yourself to this diminutive head case. Heck, already Tom’s Scientology pals have to review and approve any movie script sent to Holmes, so what makes her think he’s going to be any less controlling once they’re married. This doesn’t even take into account the money they’re going to have to spend on weekly couch cleanings after Tom jumps up and down on their furniture a la his Oprah meltdown. Just because Tommy has kept out of the public eye lately in terms of not having any public acts of lunacy doesn’t mean he’s sane or fit to marry. Run, Katie, run, while you still have a chance.
- Perusing a picture collection of members of the new Iraq Advisory Panel to the President, we shockingly find………..a lot of old white dudes. Stunner. Eight old white guys, an old white woman and an old black man comprise the advisory group. Why is it not at all stunning that such a uniform, diversity-lacking group (in terms of age, gender and race) was picked? How can a group that so accurately represents the composition of our country and its many diverse view points not provide great insight and ideas on this war and how to end it? Was there some sort of minimum buy-in, like in a no-limits poker game? Did you have to have a net worth of at least $1 million to serve? Does the group go to Brooks Brothers to pick out suits for their meetings at the country club of choice? Do they take their afternoon naps together before heading over to the early bird special at Morton’s Steakhouse? Clearly, this panel is going to be just the answer we need in solving the problems in Iraq.
- Indie rock plug of the week: The Hold Steady and the Thermals are two groups you may not have heard of but who merit your attention if you like good indie rock or just alternative music in general. Finding them on the air on a radio station in your area might be difficult, unless you happen to have an especially good alt station in your area. Sirius Radio’s Left of Center channel is a better place to look, or maybe bump on over to Amazon and listen to some sample clips. Both groups have released albums recently, with The Hold Steady (and their album Boys and Girls in America) best compared to TV on the Radio and The Decemberists, and the Thermals (with their album Body, the blood, the machine) akin to M. Ward and Yo La Tengo. Chips Ahoy! is a favorite track off of The Hold Steady disc, a good song with a funny (and oh so yummy) name. The Thermals’ album is packed with good listens, and you’ll enjoy it much more than if you waste your money on some over-synthesized crap from Shiny Toy Guns or The Killers.
- I’ve said it so many times that it’s becoming redundant, but since it keeps coming up: auto racing is NOT cool, and even if Jay-Z puts NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Indy Car driver Danica Patrick in his music video, auto racing is still not going to be cool. Until it involves actual athletic ability and isn't something millions of Americans do, including elderly people and those with IQ’s of 50 and under, every day en masse and until NASCAR mixes in some right turns, auto racing will continue to suck and to not be a sport. Even the Midas touch of Jay-Z, rap star, business mogul and entertainer can't help this faltering excuse for rednecks to congregate each weekend and hang out around their RV’s and mobile homes.
- Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense for FOX to handle Prison Break like they are. Not that I don’t love a nearly uninterrupted season, but shouldn’t you extend it out past, say, 13 episodes and have it end in November? Eight and a half months’ time elapsed between a prematurely ended season and the start of a new one is just too long, even for a show as good as this one. And why not give a full-season, 22-episode commitment to one of your best and most popular shows? Maybe I’m missing something here.
- The bidding war for the rights to negotiate with Japanese baseball sensation Daisuke Matsuzaka is absolutely absurd. Major League teams are bidding not to sign Matsuzaka, but for the right to negotiate with him! Furthermore, the top bid has come from the Boston Red Sox, who are willing to pay $42 million to Matsuzaka’s Japanese team for the privilege of negotiating with the star pitcher and thus pay even more millions to Matsuzaka himself. I don’t care who you are, even if you’re one of baseball’s richest teams, paying that much money just to be able to negotiate with a player is ludicrous and not worth it by any stretch of the imagination.
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