- Gotta love the vagueness from FOX when it comes to Prison Break. Now, they are saying on promos that the next two episodes are “the final two of the fall.” What the frack does that even mean? I assume that it means the show is done until August, when a new season kicks off. That’s the good news, because at least it means we’re in store for another exciting season. But why not just say last two episodes of the season? Look, the show’s general premise is mystery, intrigue, deception and misdirection, so it perhaps shouldn’t be the biggest surprise that FOX is following the same pattern when it comes to promoting the show. Again, I gotta say, with what is arguably the network’s best show, I would think you would want to get as much mileage and exposure out of it as possible. But as we all know, television execs are waaaaaay smarter than all of us and always, always make smart decisions.
- How many times can we “hear the Beatles like you’ve never heard them before?” There’s a commercial airing for a “new” Beatles album, due out next month at a certain large, overpriced electronics store, probably other places too, I just heard this particular commercial. But with all due respect to the Beatles, a group I love and own nearly every album for, there are only so many times you can tweak, rearrange, remix and repackage their material. John Lennon is dead, has been for decades, and the other three Beatles are doing other things. The group doesn’t exist anymore, they haven't recorded any new songs since the 70s, so stop trying to make money off of them with “new” albums. The ones they already have will suffice, thanks, so Michael Jackson or whomever now owns the rights to most of the Beatles’ songs, just stop.
- This should go without saying, but apparently it does need to be said: if you waited in line for more than two hours to buy the new Sony PS-3 and/or camped out overnight outside of a store to buy one, you are a gigantic loser. It doesn’t matter if you live in a warm, sunny state like Florida and could camp out without risking hypothermia, or if you live in Minnesota and risked losing your toes to frostbite just for the shot at shelling out $600 for the new console, you are a pathetic loser. It’s just a video game system, no matter if it is the best system ever. You should not be skipping class or calling off sick to work to wait in line for one. And you just know that a lot of those in line were college dudes, ages 18-23 or so, which begs an important question: shouldn’t y’all be a little more concerned with securing the keg for your big party this weekend and finding a hot chick to hook up with instead of doing the same thing you did when you were 12-years-old and too young to drink or hook up with hot chicks? C’mon fellas, you can do better.
- Score another win for non-smokers. Casinos in Atlantic City that pushed through exemptions to a new statewide smoking ban may lose out anyhow. The City Council is likely to pass no smoking legislation of their own, meaning gamblers will have to be content with just losing their money and getting drunk and will no longer be able to increase their chances for lung cancer by smoking or inhaling secondhand smoke in casinos. Really, isn't that the trifecta, though, losing your money, wrecking your liver be drinking all of the free or nearly free booze at a casino and upping your odds for lung cancer all in one stop. Sorry casinos, looks like people will have to smoke their cancer sticks elsewhere.
- Beware of angry sea lions, San Franciscans. A raging, hostile sea lion (maybe he’s pissed that the Giants aren't going to resign Barry Bonds?) has bitten at least 14 swimmers and chased 10 others out of the water at a lagoon in one of the city’s public parks. Now the area is temporarily closed to swimmers, shockingly. I’m not sure if the sea lion is a city employee or not (probably not, judging by his high level of productivity and efficiency in biting and harassing swimmers, no city employee does that good of work), but I’m sure somebody would try to sue the city for not properly warning them or restraining the sea lion. But let this be a cautionary tale, just because you see a certain type of animal at Sea World or the zoo and they’re all warm, fuzzy and tame, don’t assume you can approach them in the wild. The same thing holds true for Mike Tyson, who should never be approached or fed if you see him on the street.
- Is there any reason for someone making $20 million a year to be this disgruntled? Philadelphia 76ers forward Chris Webber, he of the *fine* University of Michigan education and inability to count how many timeouts his team has left, is acting like a petulant two-year old because he isn't getting the playing time and scoring opportunities he feels that he deserves. Forget for a second that dude is apparently in denial about being an over-the-hill, worn-down, high-mileage aging star who can no longer play at a high level. Just focus on the fact that he is throwing such a fit and demanding to play more or be traded despite making $42 guaranteed over the next two seasons. Look, I know pro athletes are intensely competitive and that’s how they got to where they are, but at some point C-Webb needs to face reality and thank the Lord multiple times daily for being paid exorbitant amounts of jack to basically do nothing. You’ve had your run, C-Webb, you had a lot of good years, now accept your status as a role player and do the best you can without so much complaining.
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